All Comments on 'Custody of Evita'

Your Romsnce stories are always well done, but this one seems to graphically catch the depth of emotions as these three persons meld their lives together. It is a stellar job that sets it aside in your writing, as well as from many of the other stories on this site in this genre.

Didn't except it to end the way it did, but still was very good....

Please, please, please find an editor to tidy up your grammar and insert missing words etc. Your child's vocabulary is good, but your adult dialogue can still be stilted at times. Read it out loud and see if anyone would really talk as you have Acacia talk.

I have to laugh about what is important, the story or the grammar. I wouldn't believe that so many people want to make suggestions about english usage, spelling, grammer, syntax rather than enjoy the story for its content. Obviously they missed your dialog on Saturday. I imagine a majority of folks will continue to enjoy your stories for the content and wished we had enough courage and talent to place stories in a public forum.

Really something like a charcoal sketch you whipped off in a few minutes while this intriguing, self-contained young woman paused before you in the park on a Sunday afternoon.

You are a brilliant writer and even your minute sketches are great, but I do think that Acacia merits a larger, more thoughtful work.

I can usually ignore most grammar and spelling mistakes, but wrong names really cause the story to come to a screeching halt. There was an Anita in there at one point and who knows who that is. You had Evita confused with Acacia a few times to, thankfully not in sexual scenes.

And finally, Peter was asked several times not to speak the way he did and continued getting worse and worse ending with saying he wanted to tit fuck his own sister. Gross. I could have done without peter in this story at all. Scumbag.

English does not appear to be your primary language, so I'd suggest getting a copy editor to read this before uploading. I probably found 2 dozen misspellings, missing or inappropriate words, dropped letters and lack of continuity.

Loved the story itself but me reading was disrupted by grammatical errorsthat should have been picked up during editing.

"Acacia had taken the day off for the morning interview and after it was over, Mike said, the stress falling off him by the bucket load, said he'd take them to lunch."

I read the story and not once noticed any grammar errors. Your writing and the story line worked from one chapter to the next. Without a Good or Great story line, grammar doesn't matter. Good Grammar and no or bad story line, not a good read.

I enjoyed this story and will be reading more that you have published under romance.

Thanks,

Alan