All Comments on 'Cynthia's New Experience'

It left me wanting more.

... should be your next door neighbor, Michelle. I can't wait to read the 2nd chapter!

great start, you need to continue and get to the opening of your story - surprise for hubby.

Always nice to see someone knew come on the scene and write-very nice job-so now get busy on the next one...lol

Thanks Everyone for the first set of comments..

What a pathetic excuse for erotica...hell, for a basic story. Try a spell-check program next time! In fact, why not do yourself and ALL of us a favor and do leave writing to writers.

And the writing needs A LOT of work too. Definitely not ready for prime time.

It was great till he (the author) decided to have one of the "girls" stick her finger in the other girl's shit hole

Very nice start Michelle, now keep going. Nice picture too.

Great story Michelle. Gives a good idea of how it might happen if one woman is interested and wondering how things might progress.It made me want to have my pussy licked by you!

I don't understand why people have to leave negative comments, and do you notice that they are always anonymous?This site is supposed to be fun, and if someone is so critical, I think they should spend moe time having sex instead of only reading about it. Might relax them a little, don't you think?...............Ignore those comments, and go on to the next!........................Kisses and licks.............Dawn

You basically told the story, when you should have shown it. The basic concept is strong and I feel that this is something that happened to you or that you wish had happened. I agree with the comments about spell checking and you should use the grammar checker too. For example, you consistently used "you" when you meant "your". This feels like a first draft. My three chapters posted so far in my novel "Crooked Streets" are all on the 15th or so revision. You can get to them through my profile, holycrow. Please email me with questions or if you want me to take a stab at editing for you.

Too short for me, but would like to see more, and more detail. Will there be a chapter 2?

i do think you got away from your story line. BUT I really enjoyed your interactive description.canunderstand your anal play with a butt shown in tyour pic yours must get more then a fair amount of attetion

Good start, good finish, & an exceptional middle! Loved all of it!

The writing was good, but sorta lost the plot at the end,a little editing would have fixed that.

Do continue.

Lloyd

hot story i wish it had a picture though

story jumped around making it hard to follow ,like when she had her hand on Cynthia's panties, did she have to undo her jeans ??