Cyrano de BOTgerac

"So, you don't mind my face and my body?"

"Oh, hell no! They are both great! I'm a big fan of them, but only because they're attached to your brain."

"Glad to hear that it's not getting in the way of our relationship."

"Well, if we get more physical, that may change. My feelings may progress from 'your body is not in the way' to 'your body IS the way'."

"Wow, that's very Mandelorian of you." She pointed at her chest and said, "THIS is the way."

I nodded and leered openly at that very spot. "This IS the way."

We both totally lost it. When we finally stopped laughing, she pulled me over and we kissed for some pleasant fraction of eternity.

We eventually came up for air, and decided that we preferred to make out some place less public. We packed up our gear, and paddled back to the UW dock.

* * *

I took her to dinner that night at Palisade -- a restaurant in the Magnolia neighborhood near Smith Cove. They gave us a window seat looking out over Elliott Bay. It was a clear evening, and we sat, sipping wine, and gazing at Mt. Rainier off in the distance.

"You bastard."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's bad enough that I have to fly back to Boston tomorrow, and here you go making it even worse with one more perfect evening."

"What a terrible first world problem you have there, missy."

She put the back of her wrist to her forehead and affected a swoon. "Yes, my life is SO hard."

"I feel the same way. I've gotten used to seeing you every day this week. I even got to sleep with you once. It's going to be tough going cold turkey tomorrow."

"That was a great nap. Hopefully, we'll get to escalate that to a whole night one of these days."

"I want that too. Better not be tonight, though. That would make it pretty hard to give you up tomorrow."

"Yeah. It would. Plus, I don't want to rush our first time together. We'll just have to maximize our time together over the next nine months."

The waiter came and took our order. At my suggestion, we started with a large appetizer platter packed with shellfish, crustaceans, claws and tentacles. For our main course, I ordered some end of the season Copper River salmon.

Our fish arrived in due course. After the first bite, its deep, rich flavor halted all conversation, other than occasional moans and whimpers of pleasure from both of us.

Roxanne finally sighed, and put her fork down. "My god this was great. My mom used to cook salmon, but it didn't taste like this. She would fry up a batch of croquettes using canned salmon. Now, after eating it here in Seattle, that seems like a culinary war crime."

"Yeah, I led a sheltered life too. I couldn't see the point in eating salmon until a friend made me try some here."

"The scales have been lifted from our eyes. Pun intended."

The waiter cleared our plates, and brought us a single piece of key lime pie. I moved around the table and sat next to her to share it.

Roxanne said, "I'm going to the AIRS meeting in Phoenix in January, and the MAIM meeting in Gloucester in May. How about you?"

"Yep, I'll be at both of those. You'll have to be my native guide in Massachusetts."

"Deal! Though, you're a hard act to follow. I'll start chasing down a few cool things to do for that week."

"Great. Also, uhh... what are your plans for the holidays? Maybe we could get together then as well."

Roxanne took my hand and smiled. "Oh, definitely." She paused. "Hey, look at us. One week in town together, and we're already making plans as if we were a couple."

I kissed her hand and smiled right back. "A couple. I really like the sound of that."

She nodded, and her eyes twinkled. "Me, too! I'm so glad I left that damned iPad in Chicago."

I raised my wine glass. "Here's to the goddess of lost objects for bringing us together."

She clinked her glass and sipped her wine. "So, are we an official couple now?"

I hooked my little finger around hers. "You bet we are. Pinky swear."

We sealed the pinky swear with the rest of our wine. After dinner, we strolled along the embankment overlooking Elliott Bay, holding hands and looking out over the harbor. After a certain amount of kissing, I took her back to the Sheraton. As we pulled into the porte-cochère of the hotel, I muttered "Pavlov!" under my breath, and adjusted my trousers.

"What did you say?"

I sighed and explained my conditioned response. She thought that was hilarious, and pulled me into a torrid kiss.

I groaned. "That's only making things worse."

She laughed again, and said, "In that case, here's to worse, and to someday moving on to worst!"

"Here's to worst! So, I'll pick you up here about 5:30, which will get you to SeaTac by six. Should be plenty of time for your 7:30 flight. Sound good?"

"Sure, if that's not too early for you."

Another kiss and she was off to her room.

* * *

The drive to SeaTac the next morning was simultaneously depressing and exhalting. I was already missing her, but was thrilled at our intensifying bond. I pulled into the departures area, and carried her luggage over to the curb. We gave each other a last, lovely embrace, and I said, "Wow, I'm breathless after a week-long dose of you."

Her smile was radiant. "In that case, here's to anoxia!"

"Here's to anoxia!"

After one more kiss, she rolled her bags into the terminal and out of my sight.

* * *

Chapter 5 -- October

Roxanne got home safely and went back to work. We were now texting multiple times per day, and we had at least one Zoom chat every weekend. Some of our chat was about our mutual AI projects, but the majority of our interactions were now personal.

After work, I continued to run around Green Lake. I also went contradancing about once a week. On an average evening, I'd dance with at least ten different women, which was great practice for my social skills.

My aikido continued to progress, and Sally Sensei suggested that I take my orange belt test at the end of the month. So, I put in several weeks of extra practices at the dojo, and polished my throwing techniques with as many people as possible. I learned to adapt my throws to match the size of my dojo mates. Oddly enough, some of the biggest guys were actually the easiest ones to throw.

No one outside the dojo attacked me that month, but I did notice an interesting phenomenon at work. I had gotten along fairly well with most of the other post-doctorate fellows, but Bob really got on my nerves. He was a big, burly dude about 6 inches taller than me. He was smart and generally well-liked, but had one really irritating habit. Whenever he disagreed with someone, he would come up close in their personal space and loom over them. Most of us found this uncomfortable. We would back away from him and would also usually back down on the dispute. He was never violent and never made any verbal threats -- he just loomed. Heck, he probably didn't even realize that he was doing it.

However, our dynamic changed sometime that month. We had some petty disagreement over lab scheduling. I held firm, and sure enough, Bob tried to sway me by looming. This time I stood my ground, and gave him the same calm look I would use on any of my dojo mates before throwing them across the room. Bob seemed a bit startled when looming didn't work, so he loomed a bit closer. I calmly went through my mental rolodex of closeup techniques I could use on him. Then came the interesting part -- Bob stepped back. He also backed down on our scheduling argument. He never loomed over me again, and we actually got to be good friends. Interesting.

* * *

Chapter 6 -- November

This year Halloween fell on a Tuesday and our Thursday night contradance happened two days later on Dias de los Muertos. Everyone came to the dance in a cool costume. I wore a black T-shirt with a skeleton on the front and painted my face like an ornate, Mexican sugar skull. I had a fine time dancing with all manner of animals, demons, witches, sylphs and nymphs.

I passed my orange belt test at the dojo, and immediately started learning a whole new set of moves and throws for my green belt test. Although no one attacked me that month, I continued to use aikido in my professional life. A journal accepted one of my papers, and wanted to publish a photo of each author. I'm pretty sure that they were expecting the usual boring head shot. Instead, I sent them a picture from my last belt test, with me throwing my dojo partner across the room. To my surprise, they published it.

Roxanne called me one day. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"I'm at loose ends. My parents are spending two weeks in Hawai'i then. How about you?"

"I was planning on visiting my parents in Iowa. Want to come along?"

"I'd love to. How would this work?"

"We can meet in Chicago, and then fly to Des Moines together. After that, it's a 70 mile drive west to Coon Rapids."

We decided to stay in Iowa an extra week after Thanksgiving and booked our tickets.

* * *

My flight arrived in Chicago about 30 minutes before Roxanne's. To me, O'Hare has always felt like a 10 ring circus crammed into a 5 ring tent. On the day before Thanksgiving, it felt the same, except with a double helping of clowns. I made my way to her gate just as her plane began to unload. I finally spotted her coming up the jet bridge, and a minute later she was in my arms. I kissed her soundly and said, "I've missed you so much!"

"Me too!"

We rolled our bags through the terminal until we reached the gate for our flight to Des Moines. There wasn't any place to sit at the gate, but we didn't mind that at all. I nuzzled the hair by her ear, breathed in her scent, and said, "Being with you again - it's like someone turned the oxygen back on in the room."

She smiled. "For a guy who doesn't talk much, you sure have a lot to say."

We continued to say a lot with few words for the next hour, until our flight to Des Moines boarded. Eventually we took off, and landed about 90 minutes later.

* * *

When we got to the head of the line at the Nationwide rental desk, they were out of cars. Even with my reservation, they just didn't have enough cars coming in to match the demand going out. I asked the rental agent, "Does anyone else have any vehicles at all?"

He called around to the other rental agencies for a few minutes, and then said, "The only thing left in the whole facility is a big double cab Ford F-150 pickup."

"We'll take it."

"Are you sure? It's a pretty big truck."

"I learned to drive in my granddad's F-150 back on his ranch in Texas. It shouldn't be a problem."

A light snow was falling as we made our way to our lonely pickup out in the rental lot. We tossed our bags in the rear cab, and buckled up. Roxanne asked, "So, does this remind you of your granddad's truck?"

"Granddad would have thought this was a spaceship! A video dashboard and built-in WiFi? Jeepers! Tonight, I'm just happy to have four-wheel drive and heated seats."

We pulled out of the lot and headed west to Coon Rapids. As we drove, it began to snow harder, and I was happy that there weren't a lot of other cars out on the road. The truck had pretty decent traction, and I tried to stay in the tire wipes of previous cars. I kept my speed down, and we trundled along without any problems. About ten miles from Coon Rapids, the snow picked up a bit and our visibility dropped. I noticed that the tire wipes in our lane suddenly became a bit chaotic and then the tracks swerved off into a field on our right. I slowed down even more, and Roxanne said, "Stop! There's a car over there in a ditch!"

I stopped, and peered out the window. At the limits of our visibility I could see a set of head and tail lights canted at an angle. I pulled off the road and turned on our hazard blinkers.

Roxanne and I jumped out and waded through mid-calf snowdrifts to the other car -- a Subaru Forester. We waded over to the driver-side door and knocked on the window. "Hello! Need any help?" No answer. I pulled out my phone and turned on its flashlight mode. Inside we could see a middle-aged woman with a bloody face and closed eyes.

Roxanne pulled on the door handle, but the door was locked. She banged on the window and yelled, "Hello! Can you hear me?" After a moment, the woman's eyes opened, and she stared at us. "We're here to help you! Please unlock the door!"

The woman fumbled at the door, and we heard the locks open. Roxanne pulled the door open and leaned inside. "I'm a doctor. Can you tell me where you're hurt?"

The woman said, "My head hurts. I banged it on the window when I slid off the road. I think everything else is OK."

Roxanne did a quick physical exam. The woman wasn't tender anywhere besides her head, and was able to move all of her extremities well. Her pupils were symmetric and reactive to light. "Looks like a small laceration on her forehead. Should be able to close it up with Steristrips. I think you're stable for transport. Can you walk? We need to move you to our truck and get you to town. My name is Roxanne and this is Chris."

"Roxanne?"

"That's right."

The woman looked closely at Roxanne's face and her eyes widened. "Roxanne Robinson?"

"That's me. Wait... Aunt Marcy!?"

"Yes, Sweetie, it's me. Oh Baby, I'm so glad to see you. I heard you were coming home for the holidays."

"I'm so glad we found you. You might have frozen to death out here. Marcy, this is Chris Newton, my boyfriend. Chris, this is my aunt, Marcy Smithers."

"I'm glad to meet you, ma'am. Let's get you and your gear into our truck and head for town."

"I'm very happy to meet you, Chris. All I need is my purse."

We helped Marcy out of the car. I turned off the ignition, got her keys and purse, and locked the car.

We trudged back up the slope to our truck, supporting Marcy between us. We helped her up into the back seat of the cab and buckled her in. Roxanne sat down next to her, and I turned up the rear seat heater to the max.

I asked, "Is there a hospital in Coon Rapids?"

"Just a clinic, last time I was here. Nearest emergency department is in Carroll, about 16 miles NW of Coon Rapids."

"OK, off we go to Carroll."

Marcy said, "No! I don't want to go to Carroll. Take me home! I'll go to the doctor after Thanksgiving."

"Do you still live alone out there on your farm?"

"Yes, but I'll be fine."

"Sorry, but there's no way we're leaving you at your farm alone. If you won't go to the hospital, we're taking you to Mom and Dad's place so Chris and I can keep an eye on you."

Marcy grumbled, "Oh, all right."

I turned off our hazard lights, and eased the truck back onto the highway. The snow was coming down harder, but I could still see the road. The truck handled well, and before long the GPS alerted me to the turnoff to the Robinson farm. Roxanne guided me down the long driveway, and had me pull in next to several other pickups by the farmhouse.

She ran into the house, and was back a moment later with her dad and two brothers. "Dad, Bill, Joe -- this is Chris, my boyfriend. Chris, this is my dad John and these two galoots are my little brothers. Let's get Marcy inside and get her warmed up." The brothers made a chair out of their arms, and carried Marcy inside. Her dad shook my hand and helped us bring in our luggage.

We left our wet coats and shoes in the mud room, and joined everyone else in the large kitchen. Roxanne's mother Mary came over and gave me a hug. "Chris, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm so glad you and Roxanne found Marcy. She probably wouldn't have lasted the night out there in her car."

"Glad to meet you, Mary. Do you have a first aid kit? We only had a few bandaids in the car."

"Of course. We get a lot of cuts and scrapes here on the farm. I'll bring you what we've got."

Roxanne kicked her dad and brothers out of the kitchen, and examined Marcy more thoroughly. Finally she said, "I don't see anything other than that scalp lac. They bleed a lot and look scary, but it's only seeping now."

She rummaged around in the first aid kit and asked, "Mom, do you have any super glue?"

"Sure, honey. Are you going to use that on Marcy?"

"Yep. It's about all we need for a small facial cut like that. They'd do the same thing in the Carroll ED, but they'd charge you a lot more for the same glue."

Roxanne cleaned and disinfected Marcy's laceration thoroughly. Then I gently held the edges of the cut together while she carefully applied a small bead of super glue. We let it set for a few minutes, and I took my hands away.

Roxanne nodded. "You're good to go, Marcy. The glue will fall off on its own sometime in the next week or so. Chris and I will take turns watching you tonight and checking your vital signs. Now, let's change into some dry clothes and get something to eat."

* * *

The cold and the rescue had sapped my energy level even more than I thought. But after therapeutic doses of hot soup and sandwiches, we were all feeling a lot more lifelike. Mary brought out steaming mugs of hot cocoa for everyone. John came by with a small flask and offered me a shot of Templeton Rye to fortify my beverage. I normally don't drink very often, and was about to decline, but Roxanne said, "You'll want to give this a try, Chris. It's made by one of our local Jedi master moonshiners, and it's pretty tasty."

I nodded, and John poured two fingers into my mug. I stirred it and then took a sip. "Oh my goodness! This is fine stuff." I finished my mug and was happy to accept a second round.

John said, "Feeling better now?"

"Oh, yeah. I feel like I could pull Marcy's car out of the ditch with my bare hands."

He grinned. "We'll give you the chance to do that, once the snow dies down. But if you don't mind, we'll also take our tractor along, just in case the Templeton wears off by then."

* * *

After we ate, we moved to the living room and sat talking for awhile. When Marcy dozed off on the couch, we slipped a pillow under her head and tucked a blanket around her. Everyone else went off to bed, leaving Roxanne and me to keep an eye on Marcy. We snuggled up together on the other couch and sipped our cocoa. She turned to me, kissed my cheek, and said, "Welcome to Iowa."

"Happy to be here. Your family is great."

She snickered. "You haven't seen what Dad and my brothers have done over the years to torture my dates. Saving Aunt Marcy bought you quite a bit of grace, so they will probably skip a lot of the petty stuff. You can still expect a bit of mild hazing from time to time, so don't let your guard down. But, they know that if they go too far, Mom and Aunt Marcy will kick their butts."

We set our watches to go off on alternate hours and took turns for the rest of the night, waking up Marcy to check her pulse and pupils.

* * *

My last watch alarm went off at 7 am on Thanksgiving morning. Marcy was no longer on her sofa, and Roxanne was sound asleep on my shoulder. I eased out from under her and stood up and stretched. Seemed like a fine time to take a leak, so I headed down the hall to the bathroom. On my way back, I peeked in the kitchen and saw Marcy sitting at a table and chatting with Mary, who bustled about making breakfast. As I came back into the living room, I heard John come into the mud room, stomping his feet. "Animals are all fed. Dropped another foot of snow after we went to bed."

I said, "Need any help?"

"We're good for now, but we can always use a hand later. Worked on a farm before?"

"My granddad's ranch in West Texas."

"What did he raise?"

"Couple hundred sheep and Angora goats for wool and mohair. A hundred head of Angus cattle for beef."