Cyrano de BOTgerac

I leaned in and whispered, "Good to see you too, JB. Why don't we stop this kid crap and have a nice Christmas dinner?" He bobbed his head quickly. I released him and gave him a slap on the back. "Looking good, JB! You been working out?"

He gave me a lopsided smile. "Apparently not as much as you have. Good to see you too, Chris." He then hugged me with real affection, and we went in to dinner.

* * *

Everyone wanted to talk to Roxanne, so I was able to sit quietly and enjoy a rather magnificent dinner. As usual, Dad had done the turkeys proud, and the mesquite smoke had permeated about a centimeter into the tender slices of breast. I watched Roxanne as she took her first bite. Her eyes widened, and she almost whimpered with delight. This wasn't lost on Dad, who forked another slice of breast onto her plate.

The rest of the dinner was a blur of smells, tastes, flavors, laughter and the murmur of contented conversation. We eventually adjourned to the living room for coffee or hot chocolate, fortified with small doses of Dad's favorite sipping whiskey.

Yawns began to emerge, and relatives started their goodbye rituals. Coats were put on and hugs were given. The consensus of my aunts and uncles was, "Got yourself a good 'un there, boy. You hang on to her!"

John Bob gave me a no-noogie hug on his way out. "What was that you did to me earlier -- judo?"

"Aikido. Working on my brown belt."

"Good stuff. Gotta show me that move next time you're out here."

Like hell I would. However, I simply smiled and said, "Good to see you, pal. Safe travels."

* * *

The only thing better than Christmas dinner was snuggling up with Roxanne under flannel sheets and a comforter. "That's got to be the best turkey I've ever had. Between that and the brisket, I must have gained five pounds. I'm going to stick to salads when I get back to Boston."

"We'll get you a frozen brisket to go at the Austin airport. When life craps on your head, an emergency brisket from the freezer can be life-saving."

"Well, your dad's turkey is therapeutic grade in its own right. Think there's any left?"

"Don't worry. No way Mom's letting us leave tomorrow without a bag full of turkey sandwiches for the road."

* * *

Mom made smoked turkey omelettes for breakfast. Then we packed up the car. My parents and Buddy saw us off. Buddy rolled over and Roxanne gave him a good tummy rub. Mom hugged her tightly and said, "I've always wanted a daughter in the family. Y'all drive safely."

Dad simply said, "I think Mom and Buddy about have it covered. Safe travels."

As we drove away, Roxanne turned to me. "Daughter, huh? Is that some sort of proposal by proxy? Anything you need to tell me?"

When she saw the whites of my eyes and my mouth gaping a bit, she took mercy on me. "Just kidding, but it does seem like they've already gotten us engaged."

"I didn't say anything like that to her. But she's pretty sharp. Maybe it's just her way of goosing us along to the next level."

"So what do you think about getting engaged?"

"It's my dream."

"Mine, too." She paused for a moment. "OK, so how do we go about getting engaged, anyway?"

I pulled the car off the road right before we got to the bumper gate. I got out, and walked over to her side of the car. I opened Roxanne's door, and got down on one knee. "Roxanne Robinson, will you marry me?"

"You Texas boys really know how to sweep a girl off her feet. Sure, I'd love to marry you, cowboy. Can I have a yahoo?"

"Yahoo!" I leaned into the car. She grabbed me and gave me a scorching kiss. "May I add, yippee-ki-yi-yay!" I pulled a simple silver ring out of my pocket and slipped it over her finger.

"That's beautiful. How much did it cost?"

"Just 25 cents."

When she arched her eyebrow at me, I said, "Really, just 25 cents. I made it from an old silver quarter back at Boy Scout camp."

"My brothers were scouts, but they never made anything like that."

"A camp staffer was making a ring, and I was intrigued by the process. If you tap the edge of a silver quarter over and over with a large metal spoon, it slowly flattens out into a band. Then you drill the center out and polish it."

"That must have taken a long time."

"Yep, months. But I had a lot of time on my hands as a teenager. I found the ring the other day at the ranch while I was going through some of my childhood treasures that Mom stored there. Seemed like it might come in handy."

"I love the idea of wearing something that you spent so much time making with your own hands. It's perfect."

She gave me another rather awesome kiss. I got back in the car, drove through the bumper gate, and pointed the car back toward Austin.

She was quiet for a while, and then said, "I hope you never stop surprising me like that. Whatever happened to the shy, diffident, Chris Newton I met back in June?"

"Same old Chris, just with a new, improved interface."

"I think it's more than that. You've got this air of quiet confidence about you now that's way different from when I first met you. How did that happen?"

I mused for a moment. "Several things. Folk dancing and aikido have helped get me used to dealing with other people. But the main thing is that anytime I'm with you, I know that I've been pre-approved by the smartest and most beautiful woman in the room. With approval like that, other opinions don't matter too much to me."

"Speaking of rooms, the AI Research Society meeting in Phoenix next month will be the first time we'll be sharing a room without our moms and dads down the hall."

I grinned. "Yep."

"Give you any ideas?"

"Yep."

"Care to share them with me?"

"I already know the most important thing about sleeping with you: I've never slept better than when snuggled up next to you."

"Anything else?"

"You're not a cover hog."

"Go on."

"And then there's that Pavlovian thing -- we should do something about that. Got any ideas?"

Now she was grinning. "Yep."

"Care to share?"

"Nope. No spoilers."

* * *

We dropped off our rental car at the Austin airport, and jumped through the requisite TSA hoops. I bought a travel-packed, frozen brisket for each of us at the Salt Lick stand in the terminal, and then we moseyed down to Roxanne's gate. I pulled her into a hug, and we stood there quietly for a few minutes, enjoying the feel of each other's arms.

I sighed. "It's getting harder and harder to turn you loose. Going to be a long three weeks until AIRS."

"Same here. However, that gives you three weeks for you to focus on your presentations without me to distract you."

"You always distract me, even when you're 2500 miles away."

She responded with a smiling kiss that raised my pulse rate nicely. We exchanged sweet nothings a while longer until it was time for her to board her flight. Then I slogged down the terminal to my own gate and flew back to Seattle.

* * *

Chapter 8 -- January

I spent the next week building my presentations for the AIRS meeting, using our latest data. I previewed my slides to Roxanne over Zoom. She had several comments.

"Great slide decks! You're getting really good at this. If you gave those talks right now, they would be better than 90% of the other speakers..."

"Really?"

"No kidding, your talks kick butt." She paused for a moment, and then said, "But, how would you like to raise the bar a little higher?"

"What do you mean?"

"Butt-kicking is great, but with a few more tweaks, you could take that to a whole new level."

"OK, I'm intrigued. How do I pull off the mayhem you're suggesting?"

"Simple. Most of the talks there will be by drones reading a set of bullet points off the screen while their audience checks their email."

"Sounds like every scientific meeting I've ever been to."

"Yep. That's why I suggest two major changes, if you're interested."

"Please illuminate me, O Roxanne-Sensei."

"Wise ass." She smiled. "OK, first thing is to ditch all of the bullet points and all of the tables from your slides."

"Er... OK, but how will I remember what to say?"

"We're going to replace them with pictures and graphs. You're going to tell a short story about each picture." She gave me a few examples until I got the idea.

"Great, thanks! I'll redo my slide decks and show you version 2 of them later this week."

After a few more iterations, Roxanne pronounced my talks ready for prime time. That left me with a week or so to focus on other things. It was a typical cold and rainy January in Seattle, so I got most of my exercise indoors, being thrown around the mat in our cozy dojo.

* * *

Our flights arrived in Phoenix about 30 minutes apart on Sunday evening. After a steamy kiss, we shared a cab to the meeting hotel and dropped off our bags. My first talk was scheduled for the first session on Monday morning, so after a quick bite in the hotel restaurant, we crashed for the night.

As Roxanne spooned up against my back, she asked, "How's Pavlov doing over there?"

I chuckled, "Awake, but fading fast. He requests a rain check for tomorrow night."

"It's a date."

* * *

I was the sixth of seven speakers in my session. Normally that slot would have me climbing a slow, torturous ramp of anxiety until my time came up. This time, however, was surprisingly anticlimactic, because Roxanne had prepped me well. As I sat through the first five rounds of Death-by-PowerPoint, I felt not anxiety but a vast boredom watching the endless procession of boring bullet points read by nervous geeks.

As I was about to stand up and head for the stage, Roxanne leaned over, kissed my cheek and whispered, "To butt-kicking and beyond!"

When I stepped up to the podium, the only thing I could see in the audience was the dazzling smile on Roxanne's face. That smile let me know that things were going to be awesome, no matter which words came out of my mouth. The words which actually did tumble out of my lips were the ones we had rehearsed. I told story after story about the vivid images and graphs we had chosen. I was pleased to see that the audience all still seemed to be awake. Then I was on my last slide, and the audience was applauding. I stepped off the stage and sat down next to Roxanne.

"So, did I transcend butt-kicking?"

"Oh, yeah. Sweetie, you crushed their skulls and stole their lunch money."

At the end of the session, several other speakers came up and introduced themselves to me. A common comment was, "Dude, I hope I never have to speak after you in a session!"

We spent the rest of the morning doing the usual meeting things and grabbed sandwiches for lunch. Roxanne's session was right after lunch. Her exemplary presentation reminded me of how much more I have to learn about public speaking.

* * *

We took the rest of the afternoon off, and just walked around downtown Phoenix. January weather in Seattle and Boston can be pretty nasty, but it was a beautiful 70 degree day in Arizona. It was easy to see why every other bag at the Sky Harbor baggage carousel seemed to be a set of golf clubs.

We had dinner at a small, nondescript Mexican restaurant we stumbled on in the downtown area, and the food was fabulous. Growing up in Texas, my tastebuds were calibrated on the great Tex-Mex food there. However, I'd have to say that AZ-Mex is right up there with Tex-Mex. I sure wish I could get a Sonoran hotdog back in Seattle!

We ambled back to the hotel holding hands. When we got to the hotel, Roxanne asked, "Fancy a drink before going back to the room?"

"A fine idea."

We found a booth at the bar, and perused the menu. What caught our eyes was a concoction of Mexican hot chocolate, spices and tequila. We each got one and it was just as yummy as it sounded. As we finished, I held out my elbow and said, "My dear, shall we retire to our chamber?"

"Yes, we shall."

* * *

We did our best to steam up the glass windows in the elevator on our way up to our floor. As we got off at our floor, Roxanne asked, "Why are you limping?"

I said nothing, but adjusted my trousers, which had become uncomfortably tight in front. She giggled, and said, "Never mind."

When we got into our room, I was feeling simultaneously extremely aroused and extremely awkward. Roxanne seemed to sense my mood, and asked, "What's wrong, Sweetie?"

I stammered, "Uh... mmm... I'm pretty new at all of this."

"You mean having sex?"

I nodded.

"Is this your first time?"

Oh shit. I looked down and blushed. "Yeah, it is. Loser virgin here."

She pulled me into her arms. "Don't feel bad, Sweetie. It's my first time too."

I was amazed. "But... but..."

"But, how can someone that looks like me not already have a lot of experience?"

"Um, yeah."

"It's simple -- I decided early on that I never wanted to have sex with an asshole. I got a lot of offers in high school, but turned them all down. I got even more offers from college assholes. You know about the attempted date rape from Dick Lester. So, I stopped going to parties, and only dated rarely. In med school and residency, I just kept my head down and focused on my work.

Soooo... this is a long-winded way of explaining why I'm still a virgin as well. I've always been interested in sex, but until now, never found someone that I wanted to do it with."

"I don't want to force you into anything."

"Don't worry -- you're not. If anything, it's the other way around -- I really, really want to spend tonight making love with you."

That called for a kiss. Or two. Or a bunch. Eventually, we came up for air, and I said. "OK, what do we do first?"

"Why don't you go take a shower. Then I'll take one. We'll figure something out after that."

"A humble plan, but a good one."

I did not dawdle, and soon emerged wearing my boxers and a bathrobe. On her way by me in her bathrobe, Roxanne paused briefly to give me a promissory kiss. I finished drying my hair, and then slipped under the covers of our kingsized bed.

* * *

A few minutes later, I heard the water stop, and the sounds of Roxanne drying her hair. I was getting pretty excited. The dryer stopped, and then my jaw dropped as she came out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but one of my T-shirts and a smile. "I hope you don't mind my borrowing this."

I managed to croak out, "Uh... no. It's never looked better. And, I'm never, ever going to wash it."

She giggled, and then slipped under the covers next to me. I leaned over and we kissed. As we kissed, our hands were not idle. I nuzzled her cheek and neck while caressing her back and side through the T-shirt. Her hands roamed over the skin of my neck and back as she nibbled along my ear, down my neck toward my shoulder.

Eventually my hand roamed down south of the T-shirt and I found myself rubbing and clasping her bare buttock. She gave a shuddering sigh and moved her hand down over my buttocks. After a minute of this enjoyable groping, she pulled back and said, "I think we're both a bit over-dressed."

She sat up and started to lift up the T-shirt. I put my hands over hers and said, "Let me do the honors."

She let go of the shirt, and raised her hands over her head. I slowly lifted the shirt until both breasts stood proudly before me. I lifted the shirt up over her head and arms and tossed it off the bed. She drew her shoulders back, which caused both of her boobs to jut out toward me. I actually gasped.

"So, do you approve of the girls?"

It took me a moment to remember how to form words. "They're magnificent. If I were standing up right now, my knees would be weak."

She giggled. "OK, now it's my turn to unwrap my present." She pushed me back on the bed and grasped the waist of my boxers. As she slowly pulled them down, I lifted my hips off the bed to help her. She lifted the front of them up off the head of my penis, which was now fully at attention. I bent my knees so she could pull them all the way off and toss them somewhere else in the room. She swept her gaze up and down my whole length and murmured, "Very nice! I'm so glad to finally meet Pavlov here. I'm going to enjoy every inch of him."

I pulled her back down to the bed and kissed her again. I then moved my lips down her neck onto her chest. I caressed the undersurface of her breast with my hand, and moved my lips closer to her nipple. As I closed in on my target, she started to breathe a bit faster. When my lips and tongue reached her nipple, she groaned and arched her back slightly. It was already erect, but grew even firmer as I suckled her. I continued to stroke that breast with my fingertips, and then moved my mouth over to process her other breast in a similar manner. By the time I started marching my lips down her stomach, her breath had become somewhat ragged. I pinched her nipples gently as I licked her navel, which made her moan slightly.

My mouth continued its southern journey, veering slightly to head down the inside of her thigh. I then kissed my way back up toward her mons and blew softly over her pubic hair, making her shudder slightly. I moved over until I was kneeling between her legs. I bent down and continued to orbit her mound with tongue and lips. As I reached her labia, she gasped and grabbed my head. "Chris, you don't have to do that."

"I know, Sweetie. I want to do this." As I teased her labia with my tongue, she began to pant. I stuck my tongue into her as deeply as I could, and slurped up along her slit. Her panting escalated into moans and whimpers, which I thought was a positive sign. I gave her another slurp, this time going all the way to the top of her slit, which I bumped with first my nose and then my tongue. When I hit her clitoral area with my tongue, she moaned louder and began grinding her fold into my face. I found this very encouraging, so I slowly licked a few more times up her labia and onto her clitoris. When she arched her back and moaned louder, I concentrated on her clitoris. She tensed her body, and let out a loud, wordless cry that went on and on. I kept on licking and she came several more times.

Finally, she pushed my head away and said, "Stop! Please! It's too sensitive!"

I moved up beside her in bed and cuddled with her as she caught her breath. After a minute she took one last deep breath and then let it out in a long sigh. "Oh. My. God. Chris!"

"Was that OK?"

"OK? Jumping jeebus, it was amazing!" She paused, and then arched one eyebrow at me. "You know, you are suspiciously good at that. Care to explain how you just made my head explode during your first time giving head?"

"I did a bit of, shall we say, 'lay' research on the topic." She snorted at this. "I found a really great book on pleasing one's partner. It suggested quite a few things that I wanted to try."

"Well, mission accomplished! Remind me to give that author 5 stars on Amazon."

We cuddled with her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest. As we lay there, her hand slowly started to drift downwards, caressing my chest. As it passed my navel, I gasped in anticipation. But then her hand veered away from my dick and slid past it down my thigh. Then she moved her hand until her fingertips were lightly touching the base of my scrotum. I let out a low moan, which got louder as she slowly moved her hand back up, lightly grazing my balls and the whole length of my dick. She gently grasped it in her hand, and said, "I did some of my own lay research. I've been looking forward to going down on Pavlov here."

As she stroked me gently, she moved her head down until her mouth was inches away from my groin. She blew gently over my dick and then began a slow lick up and down the shaft. I squirmed and began to whimper. She licked me like an ice cream cone for a while, and then took the head into her mouth. She continued to stroke me, but slowly picked up the pace. After a few minutes of this, she took several inches of my dick into her mouth and sucked until her cheeks hollowed out. The slight vacuum in her mouth caused my cock to distend even more than it already was. "Oh, oh, oh god, Rox. Oh, oh, oh... look out! I'm going to... Aaaaahhhrrrggghhh!"