D-Cup Blues

"But Scott?" Dave asked. "You know what a creep he is."

"Not that you're bitter or anything, Dave," Maureen shot back, forcing a smile.

"Not anymore I'm not," Dave said. "But wouldn't you be bitter for a while if your only close friend dumped you because a bully told him to?"

"Scott Bransky?" asked Tom, who had watched in wide-eyed silence up to that point. "I didn't even know you knew each other, Dave."

"We really don't anymore," Dave said. "You see, back at Northside, we were best friends, but his other best friend, this kid Brad Preston -- he wanted Scott to himself, and he picked on me like you can't imagine, until I gave up on Scott."

"Whatever happened to Brad, anyway?" Audrey asked. "Haven't seen him since Northside."

"I heard he went to that magnet school in Middleview," Maureen said. "You know, the one for troubled kids?"

"He certainly was that," Dave said. "Bastard used to just sit around the house making prank phone calls. Scott told me once he'd never said yes when he invited him over or anything. I hope he got the help he needed."

"How can you do that, Dave?" Valerie asked. "The way he stole all your friends away, and you feel sorry for him now?"

"All his friends?" Audrey retorted. "What about us?!"

"She means before we became friends," Dave said. "And you know it, come on. Isn't that why you invited me to sit with you in the first place?"

"Of course it is," Valerie said. "Come on, Audrey, he's right."

"Fine, I guess," Audrey said. "I just don't want you thinking we took pity on you, Dave."

"I never thought that way!" Dave said. "What do I always sing? Must be you..."

"...That builds me confidently!" they all joined in, except for Maureen, who added, "I guess now we see which one of us builds you confidently."

"Oh, you all do!" Dave insisted. But even as he said it, he turned to Caryn with a lovey-dovey grin. For a wonderful moment she thought he might even kiss her right there in front of them all.

But he didn't. He turned back to Maureen, his smile a bit strained now, for all at once he had put two and two together. "It just happened," he said. "The conversation turned the right way and that was that."

"How utterly romantic, you guys," Audrey grumbled.

"Hey, you two still have plenty of time to find a date," Dave pointed out. "I figured we were all going as friends anyway, dates or not."

"Me too," Valerie said. "That's why I said I'd have to think about it when Billy O'Connor asked me. But I guess I'll say yes now."

"Billy, yeah, he's a good guy," Dave said, recalling how Billy was one of the few boys in their class who'd never given him a hard time about his crying jags back in sixth grade, back right after his mother took off.

"He said you'd approve," Valerie said. "Why is that? I don't remember you two ever even talking."

"It's a long story," Dave said, thinking he probably should have told the girls all about what happened to his mother long ago. But it just seemed too late now.

"Well, we've got time," Caryn said.

"Or you certainly do, Caryn," Maureen quipped.

"Oh, well," Dave demurred, still trying in vain to think of a way to avoid the topic. "I guess you all know I used to get bullied a lot, back in grade school, and Billy was one of the few who left me alone."

"You never have talked about that much, Dave," Audrey said. "I hope you didn't feel like you had to keep it to yourself."

"Nah, it's just, why dwell on the past?"

"Does that mean you don't mind me taking Scott to the dance?" Maureen asked.

"It's none of my business," Dave said. He was feeling horribly guilty now, but the guilt dissipated just as quickly when Caryn squeezed his leg under the table.

"Can we count Scott in on splitting the cost of a limo?" Audrey asked. "Remember how we were planning on that?"

"Oh, that reminds me!" Dave said. "Listen, we can still join in on that if you want, but Caryn, my dad said we could have his car for the night if you want. He's thrilled you asked."

"Geez, Dave!" Audrey snapped.

"I can just imagine your dad saying that, Dave," Valerie cut in, hoping to still the waters. "He's such a nice guy, totally a dad, but a good one."

"Yeah, he is," Audrey admitted. "Never tries to be cool or anything, and he's so much cooler because of that. I can see him saying that too, Dave. But we were hoping to all split a limo, weren't we?"

"I was never crazy about that either, Audrey," Maureen said. "It's not like it's the prom or anything. I was hoping we could all just use someone's parents' car anyway, and I figured it would be your dad's too, Dave." Sensing an opportunity, she smiled at Caryn. "Don't you like Dave's dad, Caryn?"

"I've never met him," Caryn said, looking around the table. "It sounds like I'm the only one who hasn't!"

"That's ironic, isn't it?" Maureen gloated.

"Why don't you come over after school today?" Dave suggested. "He said last night he's always wanted to meet you anyway."

"This feels like a first-grade playdate," Caryn said. "But yeah, I'd love to."

Caryn recalled her mother's well-intentioned snobbery all too well as Dave walked her home through the midtown streets. Their school was well into the slums of the city, but his house was a well-kept ranch-house on a grassy corner, a few blocks out of the danger one. "I was as surprised as you are that you'd never met him," Dave explained as he guided her up the walk. "All these years, I figured of course you'd all been over at least once.

"Me too," Caryn admitted. "I've heard so much about him." But nothing about his mother, she mused for what must have been the twentieth time since lunch.

A ruddy-looking, fiftyish man who still had most of his hair met them at the door. "So this is the famous Caryn," he said, standing aside and shaking her hand. He was slightly shorter than Caryn, but that was one way in which she was used to being big.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. McCarter," Caryn said.

"Call me Lee," he said. "All David's friends do. I'm glad he finally invited you over, I've been hearing so much about you for years."

"Dad!" Dave let it out with an exasperated sigh.

"Oh, all good things, of course. It's just that I've met Audrey and Valerie a couple of times and Maureen hundreds of times, and..."

"We were just talking about that," Dave said. "I really don't know how it happened."

"Well, you're welcome here in any case," Lee said. "I don't know if David told you, I work half-days on Friday and I've got my bowling league in a little bit, but you're welcome to stay for dinner when I get back."

"That'd be great!" Caryn said. Anything would be great compared to another meal with Gordon, after all.

"Speaking of dinner," Dave said, giving his father a quizzical look.

"I bought chicken breasts at the butcher's," Lee said. Caryn thanked her lucky stars he wasn't looking at her as he uttered the dreaded B-word, for she was sure she must have at least flinched at it. "Go ahead and do your marinade for them if you want."

"Sure," Dave said, heading for the kitchen. "Caryn, want some hot tea?"

"Uh...sure!" She was a bit confused at what was going on, but when Lee gestured for her to have a seat on the couch, she did.

"David and I take turns making dinner," Lee explained to her. "He insisted as soon as he'd taken a semester of home ec back at Northisde. But I suppose he's told you about that."

"No, he's never mentioned it," Caryn said. She was quickly falling in love just as much with Lee as with his son, and she tried and failed to recall a single time Gordon -- or her mother's other boyfriends before him -- had ever offered to make dinner, much less actually done it. As Dave appeared in the doorway after putting the kettle on, she confronted him. "You never told me you make dinner!"

"Only a few times a week," Dave said. "It's fun to learn to cook. I'll be right back."

"I wonder why he never mentioned it?" Caryn said as soon as he was gone.

"I think he blames himself for his mother running off," Lee said. "I'm sure he's told you about that?"

"Yeah," Caryn lied, careful to look sympathetic.

"Thank you for helping him through that, by the way," Lee continued. "I've always wanted to say that to all of you. He thinks you girls hung the moon, you know."

"That's sweet," Caryn said.

"Just don't tell him I told you that, okay?" he said conspiratorially. "He'll tell me to stop being mushy."

"Dave? No!" Caryn laughed, the shock of what he'd just revealed having passed somewhat. "He's a pretty mushy guy himself, and that's what we all like about him! I used to think maybe he thought he had to be that way, being the only guy in the group, but he's never really stopped."

"Yes, well," Lee said, "he does try not to be. I think that's probably why he tells me not to be that way. Reminds him too much of himself, I guess. But in any case, Caryn, thank you."

"For what? We've always just been good friends to each other."

"That's exactly what he needed, and he wasn't getting it anywhere else. At school or at home, I'm ashamed to say. I noticed the change just around the time he started talking about you all. His grades got better then, too."

Caryn's heart was flying, but she couldn't think of a thing to say. Finally she just said, "Thanks. That's really sweet."

"Well," Lee said, standing up, "I'd better head for the bowling alley. Don't want to keep the guys waiting." He walked to the kitchen doorway. "Dave? I'm off. See you around six thirty for dinner?"

"Sure, Dad!"

"Francine'll be over for dinner tomorrow, don't forget." Turning to Caryn, he added, "Would you like to join us?"

"If my mom'll allow it," Caryn said, opting not to tell him that she'd never heard of Francine. "Thanks."

"Right. I'm off. So long." Lee gave her a last smile and headed for what she guessed was the door to the garage. But just as he got there, he turned around. "Dave, where are your --"

"I don't need 'em, Dad!" Dave said, almost pleadingly. He looked at the kettle, which wasn't boiling quite yet, rather than at his father.

"We'll talk about that later, son," Lee said. "See you tonight, Caryn."

Caryn knew Dave too well to dare hope he would explain what his father was talking about. So she watched in appreciative silence as Dave put the finishing touches on the marinade. "Remind me to put this in the oven around six," he said.

"Dave, your dad's a sweetheart."

"I hope he didn't bore you in there."

"No! Dave, he..." She desperately wanted to ask about his mother. But he'd had four years to explain that if he'd wanted to. So instead she looked happily around the kitchen. "He's a really nice guy. That's all."

"He is now," Dave allowed. "I think he's making up for when I was younger, to tell you the truth. But that's okay with me." He set the casserole dish in the refrigerator. "Just give me a minute to clean up here and we can go study in the living room if you want.

"Dave, it's Friday!"

"True," Dave said. "Watch TV then, if you want. Or something."

"Or something." Caryn couldn't help grinning as she recalled what she'd done that morning. Fearing she would overstep her bounds, she did return to the living room.

Dave joined her there momentarily. "I should've warned you, Dad can be a little mushy with my friends," he said, taking a seat on the couch at a respectful distance, but facing her and close enough to touch her hand, though he didn't.

"He said you'd say that," said Caryn, who did reach over and caress his hand. "But I don't see why you'd have a problem with that. I always figured you got it from him, after all."

"Got what from him?"

"Must be me that builds you confidently?" Caryn quipped. "Isn't that what you always said to us at lunch when you get all sensitive guy on us?"

"Oh, that's a line from a song," Dave explained. "By the Rascals. Here, I'll show you."

Caryn didn't complain as Dave got up from the couch and turned his attention to his father's stereo, which was perched on a cabinet crammed with records. To her surprise, Dave knew exactly where the album he was after was. "It's called 'A Girl Like You,'" he said, holding up the cover to show her.

"Time Peace," Caryn read out loud. "So it's from the sixties. Should've known. My mom loves you for that, you know."

Dave laughed shyly as he set the needle on the record. "Sorry if this is sharing too much, Caryn," he said as the song began. "But I've always associated this song with the four of you. I guess I let it slip with that line, only none of you knew the song."

Caryn, as intrigued as she was flattered, responded only with a smile and a slight nod as she listened to the lyrics. "'Someone opened up a door for me'...", she repeated. "When did we do that for you, Dave? Hey, wait, 'I'm in love with a girl like you.' Only a girl like me, Dave? Or did you mean a girl like Valerie or Maureen?"

Dave laughed. "Okay, I asked for that," he said. Holding out his hand to her, he said, "Come dance with me and I'll explain."

Caryn accepted his hand, her heart full of equal parts friendship and anticipation of so much more. "You lead," she said. "I don't know any of these ancient dances except maybe the twist."

Dave twirled her about, a bit awkwardly since she was as tall as he was, and he explained. "My mom used to play this album a lot," he said. "So it was kind of poignant for me already because of that. And that line, about building me confidently? When I was getting bullied all the time, crying so easily, I could only wish I could feel the least bit confident. Then with the four of you, I did! I mean, I knew better to say that because Valerie would call me a sissy or worse and Audrey'd probably think I was joking and laugh. But it's true!"

"We're the wind beneath your wings, are we, Dave?" Caryn asked as he spun her around almost gracefully.

"I hate that song."

"Me too."

"At least we agree on some music, then."

As "A Girl Like You" faded out, they'd given up dancing in favor of laughing, and Caryn opened her arms just as naturally as she would for any of the girls. Dave hesitated for a moment with that shy grin of his, and then accepted the invitation. When she realized he was going to hug her, suddenly the "I WEAR A 38-D" sign returned in such full force she was surprised the glow didn't appear on the carpet at their feet. It flickered for a moment, then vanished as once again his chest brushed delightfully against her breasts and once again it felt as delicious as his arms around her. Better even than last time, now that she was expecting it. Any embarrassment melted away as she realized it surely felt wonderful to him as well.

The next song on the album was vaguely familiar to Caryn. "I think I've heard this on the oldies station in my mom's car," she said.

"It's called 'How Can I Be Sure,' and yes, it gets played there a lot," Dave said. He slid both his arms down lower around her waist and backed off just a bit. "It's a slow song. Shall we?"

"I'd love to." Caryn all but whispered it, already swaying with him to the music by then. With the ice broken, she let out a laugh. "I think you are pretty sure, though, Dave, right now."

"Feels that way, doesn't it," Dave said, and he leaned in just a touch.

Caryn's heart leapt as she realized he was going to kiss her. A brief memory that two days beforehand he'd been just one of the girls roared through her mind, but she didn't let it stop her as their lips met. They kissed passionately through the rest of the song, still dancing but gradually getting much slower than the music until they came to a standstill and held one another tightly.

When the song ended, he gave her a final tight squeeze and pulled back gently. "Guess I should've invited you home long before I did, huh?" he joked.

Caryn joined in on the laughter, and then took him by the hand and pulled him back to the couch. "Dave, listen," she said. "I know it's none of my business, but...your mom? Just now was the first time you ever mentioned her."

"Ah, just didn't want to depress you," he said, looking away.

"You wouldn't have!"

"You don't know that, Caryn, because you don't know what happened."

"Did she die? I'm sorry, Dave!"

"No!" He turned back to her and grabbed her hand again. "No, she didn't die. She just -- this was before I became friends with you all -- she just ran off one night. She'd been yelling at me about my grades, about how I wasn't trying hard enough, and it's true, I wasn't, and something went wrong in the kitchen. I don't even remember what. But that was it. She went off the deep end, and went straight to the closet and grabbed her coat, and took off."

"And you never saw her again?"

"She didn't even come back for her clothes. I think Dad still has them in a box out in the garage somewhere. That was when I started making an effort in school, you know? Hoping that would bring her back somehow. It's not like I had anything else to do anyway, thanks to that creep Brad, taking away my only real friend..." Dave's voice trailed away, and for the first time ever, Caryn saw him in danger of living up to his old crybaby reputation. No wonder he'd been that way, she saw now.

"Dave, I'm sorry I asked..."

"No! No, it's okay." He smiled through the tears he was trying to stifle. "It's ancient history, and who isn't miserable in seventh grade anyway? And you see why I don't just forgive Scott for giving up on me then."

"Did he know?" Caryn asked.

Dave shook his head. "He would've told Brad, I just know it. After that, I got used to keeping it to myself, I guess."

"I wish you would've told us, Dave," Caryn said, brushing his leg affectionately with her free hand. "We could've helped."

"You did! You really did." Dave sat up straight again. "Life goes on. I saw a counselor for a while and she said something about letting the bad guys rent space in your head -- why should you let them in if they're not paying rent, you know?"

"Great attitude," Caryn said. "Now, did you really want to study on Friday afternoon?"

"No, but it would be a good time to get my math out of the way. I hate calc."

"I can imagine," agreed Caryn, who was a year behind in trigonometry. "Shall we?" She didn't dare tell Dave what she really wanted to do with him right then.

Dave turned the stereo up louder so it could be heard in the kitchen, and soon they were both delving into their homework. Caryn, to her surprise, still found it the most romantic thing she could imagine for the moment -- ever so grown-up, working side by side with her old friend. She even found it endearing the way he hunched over his book as if examining the words up close would make the numbers make more sense.

"Dave's dad is such a nice guy!" Caryn gushed at lunch on Monday, taking advantage of the fact that Dave was running late. "And Francine, too -- have you all met her?"

"Once," Maureen said, while Valerie and Audrey shook their heads. Tom, lost in the latest draft of his campaign speech, didn't even look up. "Yes, she's great," Maureen continued.

"Has he told you all what happened to his mother?" Caryn knew she shouldn't bring it up but she couldn't help herself.

"I heard she died," Audrey said. "Or maybe that's just what I imagined, since he never talks about her."

"Was that why he was a crybaby in grade school?" Valerie asked.

"Val!" Maureen snapped. "Don't call him that!"

"He was!" Audrey corrected. "But he's grown up. Having four big sisters will do that for you."

"Wouldn't you be one, too, if you were in his shoes back then?" Maureen demanded.

"Look who's talking, Little Miss I'm Dating His Ex-Best Friend!"

"That's not fair!" Maureen snapped. "It's not like he wanted to go out with me or anything, is it?"

"It's kind of creepy calling us his big sisters now that Caryn's going out with him, you know," Valerie added.