All Comments on 'Daddy Spying On Us'

get your context right, bored the shit out of me

M8ght go back and do a little editing, fun short story though

Changing the POV a lot was really weird.

Decide first whose POV you're gonna write from, then get an editor after it's written. The story had a lot of potential, but was poorly written and a waste of time

It could have been a reasonable short story (it was 'short' by the way) but as others have said, changing the point of view, sometimes in the same paragraph, makes it difficult to read and take seriously. You need an editor to guide you before you publish more.

pick a damn POV and stick with it.

This story comes from two different perspectives and just keeps getting more confusing. Detracts from the sexiness of it.

difficult to read, how do you know what your dad was thinking, then go to the 3rd person telling the story and back to yourself, like story i've read.

Good concept though. as daddy spied on me and my BBF and we ended up fucking him.

A good basis for a nice short story but as others have pointed out you need some help with the writing.