by nanteen
Daddy and Daughter will enjoy taking care of each other.
Hope you add another chapter of this caring relationship. Both need to take care of each other.
I sure hope you continue this story with further chapters. Thanks for putting this out there.
I so want to do this with my daddy, but mom doesn't go away more than for a day and shes always home at night, I'll have to find away before i end up raping him in front of mom.
The story is exciting; better spelling would make it a lot better.
if i had my daughter we would fuck every day until her mom came home
I want my sexy stepdad too. Your Story was so hot. Made me cum. I'm stacy18_bi@hotmail.com
I want my dad to fuck me so hard now. I want him inside me for 3 weeks all
Day long. Oh this got me so wet!
to get a four. An editor could have corrected the few stumbles and then it would have been a five. Thank you.
My daddy likes when I shave. The feeling is more erotic and gets me wetter faster. He likes to finger me more and eat my pussy more when I'm smooth down there. Maybe you could incorporate that into your next story?
thanks for all the comments. Yes I know my editing skills are not up to snuff. As for character development, it was a short story not the Great Gatsby. So I wasn't really going for lots of depth. When I go for a few page story I will flesh it out much more.
Entirely too predictable, story line has been done and done again. Poor use of dialogue. No character development at all, you don't give us any reason to like, or even to want to get to know your characters.
And you really need to find an editor.
It would have helped your stance if you weren't an illiterate fucking asshole.
What A Great story hope there is more to it. oh and the Teacher that commented on how everything is wong. you got the balls to talk about what all is so wrong and you do not even have a story in here. Until You write one and put it in there. Keep the teaching shit to Yourself. No one is 100% right in everything. Keep up the GREAT work nanteen You did a great fucking job!!!!!!!
MMMMMMMMM....I love a naughty Daddy that knows how to fuck his little girl! ...And don't forget to give your baby girl plenty of your warm milk before she goes to sleep. Mmmmmmmmmm....soo good Daddy!
The plot is good. The writing needs a lot of improvement. There are many errors - punctuation, grammar, spelling, sentence construction, mix use of past and present tenses, thoughts not clearly stated but implied, etc. Keep on writing. You will improve in time.