by ttfrendly
You've got some potential here however, you appear to need the assistance of a proof reader. Make sure you take the time to go over your story a couple of times prior to submitting. Grammer, continuity and spelling all contribute to overall quality. Keep writing.
I dont read these stories for grammar :-) Great read :-) Keep up the good work :-)
Bad is all I can say, Wife and Mother gets killed, He comes home drunk then gets his daughter drunk and fucks her All the same day?????
Fucking junk.... just like the usual spam stories we get all week long. We get a few paragraphs of shit and they never bother to post again.... all the while using up bandwidth on this site so that the mindless and illiterate zombies can go "rah, rah, rah" as they read this shit.
Well, don't let the comments get to you. I think they come from the same person. A coward if you ask me. I read. And I mean I read a lot. I can spot a bad work if I see one. Your story wouldn't have been approved if it was.
Keep going.
First, that Daddy and Mommy would refrain from sex for 6 months for such a silly reason, then Daddy turns into a dom with his daughter only a few hours after his wife is killed? Also, the sex itself was cold and lacked any of the feeling that you'd expect to see between them.
Well I enjoyed this story. So what if the grammar is not perfect etc.... and perhaps the events are extremely unlikely to happen. It is after all an erotic story.
I sometimes wonder at those who spend their time criticising grammar, prose etc, whether they have some kind of fetish about such things.
I really enjoyed this they say family comes together in times of need. I guess that's true. And as for grammatical errors oh well!
loved this first story. daddy's babygirl ch 1 hope theres more of this very hot erotic writing from you soon . loved the brilliant writing . hurry with the next parts of this awesome story .
Believable or not? I don't know, and I don't care. This is fiction, and for me, the hotter the better. And who doesn't love a good daddy/daughter fic every now and again. Keep going. I can't wait to see how everything is going to change. Don't let negative comments deter you. We can't please everyone...
I couldn't keep reading because I was laughing to much.
One missing letter completely changes this typo:
"and I let my fingers run under his shit lifting it up and tossing it over him "
should be **shirt**
LOL!!
Why would the parents not have sex for 6 months before renewing their vows and then wait for the daughter to go to school? Doesn't make sense. Don't like him calling her his slut and knowing she is a virgin to slam into her like he did??? Then to tell her he created her so now she is his fuck toy?? And her calling herself his sex playground? Not sure I will be reading the rest of this story.