by dave110256
Ignore comments by those who can't spell "story" correctly (storie?).
loved the story you have to keep going with this
keep up the great work
Couple of minor grammar issues. pretty hot sex, but I had a little trouble with the buy-in. Like the way you tied dad/dau to dad/mom. A little mawkish in places, but overall nice work!
Keep up the good work keep goen with this way to good of story to end it now waitting for ch 2.
Dave, you've got the makins of another multi chaptered story. Lets go with it. I am astounded by how many English professors read your stories and comment on punctuation and misspelled words lol. As they say in my countryFuck em all.ciao.
Sorry, but this story was completely predictable, It was also VERY unrealistic. You used the most basic plot line in this category Very unoriginal. I could go on...
I liked the story, predictable or not. I'd like to see how predictable the second chapter will be. Many daughters do parallel their mother in looks and actions. You have a good story telling style even though some parts were a stretch to some. I know you have already written many stories, so keep it up!
RS
Predictable? How many Hollywood blockbusters have unpredictable endings? Why does every James bind movie follow the same pattern? Because it WORKS! It was good and I liked it. Keep writing. A comment section does not a critic make.
It needed mor details as to what the girls were like. Are you going to write mor abotu your daughter and you.?????????????? You can't stop here.
This story kept me hard all the way to the end. Very erotic. I wanted to be the guy in the tent and most of all with MY Grand Daughter.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you to those of you who have said nice things or made good critism, YOU inspire me, maybe I need to rethink my issues with the bashers.
but with nine beautiful, hot, sexy, and naked women. Then to have two join you in the tent and treat you and themselves to some extracurricular activities just puts a great cap on the day. And yet, you weren't done, Derrick and Angel still got together. While we knew they would, you did it with purpose.
I would only suggest you proofread for spelling, but the few mistakes there were did not detract from the story or plot. I agree with a previous mention about more details of the nine girls, if only for the contrast we could have. As for those who criticize, maybe they should try writing.
Would really love to know if they continued sleeping together. Write more.
my wife was killed in a car accident.it was a terrible loss..i was lonely&sleeping by myself.our grown daughter came into my room.she took off her robe&said you are all I have.i am your woman now.she got in bed with me&was cumming all over me.i will never leave you.im cumming.I will be your woman now.im cumming again.lets fuck we will be doing this from now on.goooonad im cumming again..she couldent stop cumming she was going like hell she cummed at least 10 times.she was all over me like a wild animal she was right.we are in bed&we wont leave eachother.there she goes again moaning&groaning squirting on my face.
This type of story is the same as many others. The twist of getting the wife out of the picture by death is a nice touch, so wholesome. The "daughter" of a man that can't keep it in his pants gets horny by watching him, that was very original. And to not be twisted up by it, at the end is amazing. Good job!
Oh God, suspend all rational thought here. The first thing that caught my attention was the 35 pound tent that he had to pack in for about a mile. Obviously not of the backpacking variety. Sounds more like an old canvas Army tent if it could later accommodate four people with all of the ensuing activity. Then; the mention of beer kegs? I guess they called in some pack mules while I wasn't paying attention. He also must have happened to have a custom sleeping bag that Monica could just 'slip' into without being unzipped until Red showed up later. I also found it intriguing that he could quickly morph from being the only 'adult in the room' to a stone cold libertine. Oh well, writer's prerogative I guess . . . .