All Comments on 'Daddy's Hands'

I love raceplay!

I am in awe of authors that can kick out a 13-page (In Literotica pages) for any reason, much less with a deadline. Add to that, making it fun to read all the way through, and you have my 5 stars and adoration.

Every time I see this authoress I know I'm in for a good, long, delightful read, and this was no exception.

The word is because, not coz. That's really annoying and distracting.

I always check out your latest offering. Not into the slut/race thing much. However, your sassy writing style and descriptive terms when writing sex scenes make up for it.

If anyone can read 13 pages and find that the only thing to complain about is "COZ"

then I would say the author has succeeded. Five stars.

WoW! This was incredible. Played with boobs the whole read. Thanks!

I tried to read this story. I really did. I've read stories that were 20 Lit pages, with no problem. But I couldn't make it to the bottom of page 1. After 10 or 12 coz'es, I was done. I even found myself pronouncing it, out loud. Kahz, kahz, kahz. More people need to tell millennials that COZ IS NOT A WORD!

It's spelled because, or if you want to shorten it, use an apostrophe and go with 'cause. Please tell me that spelling teachers are not THIS incompetent.

Suspension of disbelief goes hand-in-hand with the majority of erotica on this site, but holy sh*t, this positively salted the Earth; a three-page stroke piece stretched out to a dozen-plus pages of cringe-y race play with little to no plot or character development.

Holy Incredulity, Batman!

Yea I'm not reading 13 pages..

Well done ChloeTzang. Top notch stuff as usual. Can't wait for more!

Snoopy

I don’t care if it realistic or not. This was a fun romp. Great story from you again.

It's a decent story and the sex is hot, but it definitely needs editing and condensing as it's very repetitive (both in terms of the action and the dialogue). Also, if you could delete the word "coz" from your vocabulary, it'd do heaps to improve your writing. In many cases you use "coz" as a filler word where it could be removed entirely or replaced with punctuation and the writing would be stronger.

This story sucked. Too many side bars, no real story flow, hella confusing, kept repeating the same thing over and over and over again.... Horrible!!!

The story sucked. The narrating, the lines... It was very very hard to try and read it, I gave up on page two after working hard to get there. It would be a lot better with some editing.

Loved the little details that made it so hot. I could only last half way through the story!

Okay, I just knew mixing Raceplay in with Incest was going to push a few buttons but it was such fun to go overboard. And I can't resist turning three page stroke stories into thirteen pages, altho I do give you the repetition here and there. As for plot and character development? Whaaaaat? It's a stroke story, albeit a long one. It's sex. Hopefully hot sex, but screw plot. She gets fucked by her Dad on a cruise and likes it. End of plot development. Character development? She gets fucked by her Dad on a cruise and likes it. End of character development. Okay, I do have other stories that go that way, or try to, but not this one, dude. No way, Jose.

As for "Coz". Well, let's just say teenage slang and I use "coz" all the time myself. It's even in the Oxford dictionary as informal slang for "because". English as a language changes rapidly and slang one decade is formal usage the next. Also, one of the challenges when you're writing a character is to get into their heads and portray them realistically, and what 18 year old girl is going to use grammatically correct and formal english. I don't and I'm not 18. I listen to teenage slang all the time tho, and I try to incorporate enough to give an idea without going too far - and if I used too much it'd be almost intelligible sometimes. And it'd really grate. So if "coz" grates, I guess that's realism going a little too far but it's one of those slang words where you get the meaning coz, yeah, it's easy. Try throwing in "slays" - that's far more of a challenge, but if you get it right, that just slays.

Anyhow, love all the comments and thanks everyone. And thanks for all the "favorites" too - love that so many of you like "Daddy's Hands" that much. If you'd like to see "Christmas Stuffing" as a sequel, let me know and I'll see what I can do.

"Fucking slut," my Daddy growled, "you chink girls are all so fucking slutty, you and your Mom both of you, slutty little slant-eyed whores." ----- Overkill.

"Fucking slut," Daddy growled, "you china girls are so fucking slutty, you and your your mom: little, slutty, slant-eyed whores." ---- the differences are mild, but better, and they help set a tone for the dirty talk that doesn't come out sounding forced or cruel. In the father/daughter case, you're going for sexy/rough, which you failed at. And the word 'chink' is so fucking hot when used sparingly and add a 'y' to it once in a while. Condense the raceplay dialogue, mix it up, and shorten it up, and ... yummy.

Example: "Do it for me, you hot little baby chink slut." --- that sounds like a guy sputtering nonsense, whereas ---- "Do it for me, my chinky, little slut." (At the very least, add commas in the right places, it's possible he is speaking so fast he's not pausing, but the pauses make him sound like a Daddy in control of his need for his the his little China-girl. (See?)

Other Stuff

It's not 'my Daddy' or 'my Mom' --- It's 'my daddy' or 'Daddy' (take note of the Capitalization, look up the cap rules at the Editor's blog and it sounds better) --- and it's better to use 'Daddy' instead of 'my daddy' --- 'my' is a pause word and when it comes to the parents, you want to get rid of that pause and get right to the meat, whereas, with parents talking about their children, the 'my daughter' or 'my son' is hot, because of the sense of parental ownership, same goes for siblings, the 'my' is a subconscious feeling of sibling protectiveness ... and it's never 'Daughter - check out the Editor's Blog on capitalization.'

Tautologies: CUT THEM OUT ---- "Fucking slut," my Daddy growled, "you chink girls are all so fucking slutty, you and your Mom both of you, slutty little slant-eyed whores." ---- from that sentence: you and your Mom BOTH OF YOU.

Sometimes you have the Dad sounding like he's lost his ability to think and he's just spouting lines of gibberish.

I'd like to see another race-play attempt, but slow your characters down.

You still get a 5 from me, because of the attempt.

Now THAT is what I call constructive critiquing and thx a million. I know, I know, I overdid it a bit but it was such fun writing that. So, okay, I'll give "Christmas Stuffing" a go for the Winter Holidays competition and see if I can take some of that on board. Coz that'll be such fun🤗

Chloe, so great. Don't listen to the haters going crazy over very little details. The story was perfect, edited well enough.

Please keep writing. You're a treasure to this site.

I agree "coz" is extremely irritating because it appears so many times. Any word repeated that much is going to be irritating, doesn't matter what it is. " Daddy" as well. Less is more. When Daddy is used it should be erotic, not repetitive babble. You can always tell when a writer is only mimicking a D/d fetish because they overuse Daddy and make the daughter sound mentally impaired, which is an instant turn off. If you wanted to write a D/d story you should have a Beta Reader on this topic. Other than that the run-on sentences just killed me. You should investigate the use of a comma.

I also agree 75% of this is repetitive filler. Why stretch out a three page stroker to "fill" 13? 3 is 3. A 13-page stroker can be done (lovecraft for example) but this is a 3 page stroker plus filler.

It seems your stories are all sounding the same and you just plug in a random fetish (without really getting it) to fit a category. Not surprised you havent gotten many comments from D/d readers. Tbey can spot a fraud.

I think this is the first time I've commented on one of your stories, but I really like your writing. This one wasn't perfect, for me anyway, but it was good enough for five stars. Looking forward to the next one.

nothing better this is one of hottest i read on here thanks keep it up, lol

I liked it, but there was a lot of redundancy. I can get over the grammatical and spelling errors since they were pretty minor. The repetitiveness was a touch annoying though. You could have trimmed the story by at least four pages if you would have refrained from saying the same thing in slightly different ways three or four times each time you did it. That being said, it was good.

Lots of discussion about the use of the word "coz" and it misses the main point. While repeated use of the word coz would be improper in a 2nd or 3rd person narrative, Chloe always writes in the first person and coz is very natural in that context. And almost everyone has an "um word" something we verbalize when we are collecting our thoughts, coz is obviously Phoebe's. Someone also mentions run-on sentences, which is also something common when we are telling a story stream of consciousness. Chloe's grammar is consistant with the point of view of her story.

You're my favorite author, but it ran off the tracks when it became the same thing over and over. Until the masks came off it was the hottest sex ever! After that it ran out of gas and coasted to the end. A little slut talk adds spice, a lot becomes boring.

The constant barrage of racism is real fucked up and ruined the story.

Chloe, as usual I enjoyed your writing very much.

This was great until Phoebe was unmasked and from shortly thereafter it became what read more like a parody that a sex story (or short novel)!

It was also obvious (at least to me) that Gold Mask was Daddy and Silver Mask was Uncle Brian before they left the open deck and headed for the cabin. My suspicions were aroused when they were talking at the party (it is after all in the Incest/Taboo category) and the whole situation strongly implied that Phoebe hooking up with Daddy would have to be a chance anonymous encounter.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed the read although the oft used "coz" I found a bit annoying but all too often young girls talk like that (my grand daughter and her girlfriends have some annoying speech habits of that nature). And, BTW, that's the first time I've seen "coz"; when I've encountered this euphemism for a word, it's been "cuz" which I think is a bit closer to "because" probably because there is no "o" in 'because'! ;-)

Bill

Hands down Chloe, it is my humble opinion that you are the BEST when it comes to erotic stories/writing. From the details of your story to the sounds of sex that leap off the computer screen, you are the "Queen". Love all the dripping sexiness and slow buildup of this story along with the KISSING - I love kissing ! - Thanks for sharing your talent with us on this great site.

Really love your stories, and the F/d ones really hit at my fetish. I particularly like how you're able to successfully get inside the head of the main character through the use of "slang" and styyle of writing. I love the raceplay aspect just because it's different, and really just another differentiator in your stories from the usual set of vanilla stories on Literotica.

Really hope you'll do a follow-up with "Christmas Stuffing". Maybe for a follow-up, introduce some potential conflict or tension that makes it beyond just a stroke story?

Fear of discovery from the mother, consequences of unprotected sex, etc.

As a personal preference, really prefer the main action happening between Phoebe and her father. Would prefer Uncle Brian to be more in the background, unless he can somehow be instrumental in pushing the furthering the plot. Maybe Uncle Brian has a daughter that needs some convincing (wink-wink)?

Great job and please keep it up!!

A truly captivating tale! You are gifted.

"This is my John; he's a big time lawyer..." *congratulatory sounds*

"Well, this is my Sara; she's a top brain surgeon..." *sounds of amazement*

"Big deal. This is my Phoebe. She's a hot little slant-eyed chink baby-whore." *crickets*

=]

That’s so good. I’m going to work something like that in to the sequel.

I really like the very eager girl anticipating a large cock but the borderline rape certainly does take away from it a bit. Enjoy your stories please keep writing.

Full disclosure: I only read through page four where she lost her virginity. That's what gets me off, and I knew I couldn't hang for 9 more pages. But, as usual, that scene was hot. I loved it for some of the reasons others don't. When your characters get a cock in them, your writing turns a little manic with run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and repetitive descriptions. But I like that, and it sort of puts me in the scene better with the wild emotions and chaos of sex. I don't mind it at all. And I don't care about the COZ either. Geez. Thanks for the read. Keep them coming.

Unlike some of your other posts, I love a long story with a little more than just the sex. I love the whole tale of things, the build up, the thoughts of the characters, the “little bit of reality” of their thoughts about more than just the act itself. This was an amazing story and I am just sorry I didn’t get to read it when it was originally created as it is a five star work. Please keep them coming “no pun intended” lol as I love your work.

This story is so hot. Keep coming back to it. Hope there’s more to come!

The first story I’ve given a rating to, and I wish I could have given more than 5 stars! Absolutely sensational, keep it up, just like you kept me up while reading it!

and very funny!

I love your originality and your characters. The story was well crafted and kept me interested. Thank you very much for sharing your writing.

You are amazing. I love the way you think:)

So well written and sexy. But, after about page 7 became repetitive. Would have been even better at about half the length without sacrificing anything. Thanks

Thank you for the help! Very exciting!

Hot! Hot! Hot! Love your stories. I sure hope you get another chapter of "Happy Birthday to Me" done soon. I also hope you do another chapter of "On The Beach*. I love your loving wifes stuff!

Hot, hot, hot!

I am glad you finised this one, maybe not as intended? I am guessing you had a view to bring in Bill and Ted?

Thank You Chloe...