by SluttyBabyGirl4u
The baby would be his daughter, not granddaughter. Just saying..
Also, it needs editing really bad.
You should have someone look over your stories. You had quite a few punctuation errors, misuse of words and run on sentences. This story felt very rushed and fake at the end... 1 star.
Ps sorry that some of the other reviews are really harsh, you just need practice and constructive criticism.
I totaly enjoyed your story.It eas pleasant and graphic.My only complaint is that it was'nt long enough>i would have enjoyed that> So far as people who complain,well, if they complain about you, then they are'nt complaining about someone else .Screw them!
ignore people who are negative about your writing. I enjoyed your story. I also like your other story "slut next door." keep it up.
Total cheese! That was so awful! First of all if he was a real man the fucking would not have been fast and hurried like a teenager getting his first piece. And second of all if she was a 32 G she looked like a stick figure with tits!
Much work is needed on puncutation, grammar and sentence structure. This appears to be a first effort. Was it?
There are probably a thousand stories exactly like this on this page. Do you have no imagination at all? But even if you had thought of a good story line, your writing style would still suck.
Another shit story with shit grammar.<p>Gee daddy your drunk.<p>No commas and the wrong use of a word. It's <i>you're</i> not <i>your</i>.<p>I'm getting so sick and fuqqin' tired of amateur writers that barely passed 12th grade and post this kind of unreadable dribble on here.<p>But the rest of the high school dropouts will enjoy it.