All Comments on 'Damaged Goods'

Didn't get past the first sentence. Relax, chill, deep breathing, yoga, meditation, take it to your higher power, medication or simply remember this is a fictional site. Why attack readers with your moral opinions. Less judging and more writing or stop writing at all. In case your parents failed to inform you " if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all". Try that and MAYBE next time I'll read one of your stories.

A little dark, but a fun read.

Nice story! Ignore the cucks who only want to "sell" there wives while they sit in the corner and "jack" off!

This revenge story would have been a lot better with an editor. Names were mixed up, which I found very confusing. Example: "Donna knows that. Sheila, I need your brother to check this guy out." I said, handing her the license plate number of Eddie's car and their address. Her brother was a detective on the police force who could get the background on Gloria and Eddie quickly." Obviously, the author meant, "Ronnie," and not "Eddie," in this section, since Eddie was his bud and Ronnie was the bad guy. There also was switching from first to third person in various parts of the story, not a good writing technique.

Regarding the story, and I realize it is only a story, there is a credibility issue. Our "hero" would have likely been arrested and charged with homicide. If he found his wife being essentially raped while plied with illegal drugs, after trespassing (since he was not invited into the house, and there were no cries for help, it was trespassing), then he should have called the police. Going in someone elses' dwelling with a gun would be regarded by most authorities as planned assault. There is no witness who will testify that he shot Ronnie in the head for self-defense. A head-shot usually looks like murder to the authorities. Certainly Gloria is not going to help him in his defense. He would probably serve life in the state pen, and his son Sam would be raised by grandparents.

Much as I sympathize with our hero's predicament, and I agree that killing a scumbag with a long criminal record undoubtedly does society a service, the reality is that vigilantism would not be appreciated in this type of situation. Winterfoxx wrote a story about a woman who wrongfully thought her hubby cheated, and she committed a misguided and unjustified act of revenge. He correctly called the story, "Dig Two Graves," because that saying aptly describes what can happen when one sets out on such a path. In this story, we have two dead bodies, his child is motherless, and might be fatherless if he were to go to jail, so what really did he gain other than brief satisfaction?

good setup but seem to run out of steam with the quick ending. could have been alot better if more time was spent on the ending

good story , yes the style is a bit rough but that will improve with time , you are not afraid to go to the dark side and it makes for a good read , keep up the good work and the stories coming .

I knew that the first sentence was going to upset a lot of people who read this site. Too bad if they are one of the pathetic sick assholes i was talking about.

pisses me of. no your Bush attitude to do what you fucking think is necessary and with no prisoners made even if it means to loose a human beeing, the wife and mother of a six year old. who will give the 6 year old the mother back? for sure not Rambo dad. but who gives a shit your the all american.................................asshole. and what erotic has to do with crime drugs and violance, that I guess will be your secret for the rest of our lives.

I agree with hawkeye007 about stories with pathetic losers sitting in the corner jacking off while their 'beautiful' wife pulls a train. Why would any woman stay married to some pathetic wimp anyway?

By having the first paragraph before the story I didn't have to waste my time reading about some wimp and his whore wife in some story that has less value than maggot shit.

I also agree with vulcan_in_ohio that you needed an editor, but not with the comments about being imprisoned for murder. I mean yes he could have been charged but it would have been a he said, she said investigation with she already having a criminal record. As for the trespass comment he could have claimed his wife have told him they were invited to the house, but he took the gun after he had been informed about the criminal records just for personal safety, in regard to the self defence claim in was justified as the person had already killed his wife, as would have been proved by ballistics would show which gun shot her, I don't think it is likely that it would be claimed Ronnie was shot in the head before he shot his gun.

But like almost any story it can be picked apart an faults in logic and detail can be found, that's why it's called fiction.

So all I want to say is keep up the good work hawkeye007 and don't start writing maggot shit.

That was interesting. It was certainly fast paced and reached a conclusion that I guess most readers saw coming. But having said that it was the intent of the story that caught my imagination. Listen to Vulcan and his critique of the story it does make sense. Anyway thanks for the story Hawkeye.

Good read. Good story.

Great first sentence.

Those who don't like this story are probably those pathetic assholes who meat another man's or men's cum out of their wifes fresh fucked pussy dreaming about sucking a cock bet are too weenie to follow through.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Let the pathetic fucks who like giving away their lives and wives moan about this story, nobody gives a shit. She was collateral damage, she put herself in that position. The legal system had let this filth slip thru over and over, now the husband has served justice to the trash.

You hang around with bad people and bad things will probably happen to you. The sad thing is that Hank told Donna that the two were trouble and, like so many people, Donna refused to listen and paid the price. <br><br>

I don't think it's as clear cut as Vulcan indicates about Hank rotting in jail. Ronnie shot Hank's wife. Hank defended himself. Yeah, Hank was in the house without an invitation BUT his wife was already there, a reasonable excuse for going there. He brought the gun because he knew Ronnie was a dangerous person, an obvious drug dealer. Hank hit Ronnie but was leaving when Ronnie shot at him and killed Donna. Just because someone is in your house you can't shoot them. Ronnie was not justified in shooting anyone and Hank only pulled out his gun after Donna was shot. I would agree the story blew the issue off pretty easily but Ronnie was a serious scumbag, the police might have been bending over backward to not charge Hank. Even if he had gone on trial I doubt he would have been convicted of even manslaughter. The shooting was self defense. As to entering the house, if it wasn't posted as no trespassing I'd be surprised if any action would be taken. Maybe he could have been charged with assault. That part was pretty clear. But an assault conviction with a likely sympathetic judge might not even net any jail time. <br><br>An editor would have helped a lot. Mixing up names in a story is VERY confusing and breaks up the flow of the story.<br><br>

It's a very dark story, but Hank doesn't have responsibility for very much of it. He was a good husband, tied to support his wife, warned her that her new friends were trouble, confronted her without going crazy, and even in the final confrontation all he really did was punch out Ronnie, who richly deserved it. Donna allowed all of it to be set in motion. I can have a little sympathy for her because she had a miscarriage and that can really screw up a woman's emotions. But Donna made a string of mistakes the biggest of which was shutting out her husband. She didn't deserve to die but when you deal with people like Gloria and Ronnie you often lose control of what happens to you.

great read, sorry she died but really it's better for her son in the long run, now he can be raised hopefully in a loving home.

Too bad the "candy ass whore" did not get blown away also. Great story & justifiable revenge ending. Charles

. . . but if this story had been at all well written I would have enjoyed it. I can understand the husband's reactions, mine might be the same.

I prefer stronger characters in stories. Beating and shooting don't equal strength in my book. I do fully understand anger and emotions; I have my share just like everyone else. This was just a poorly executed story about anger and emotions. Sorry author, here is one reader you missed.

I mean really dude. Get your head out of your ass.

head shots are alawys viewed as Murder? what the fuck is that assertion based on?

Going to a known VIOLENT repeat criminal's location with a GUN is NOT in anyway PROOF of intention to commit murder or kill

Lets review that FACTS which Vulcan in Ohio argues that he would be arrested for murder

1 The hero sees his wife being fucked.

2 the wife claims it is against her will.

3 The bad guy has a LOOOOOONG well known criminal record.

4 the Hero beats ups the bad guy.

5 with the hero's back turn the bad guy pulls out a Gun to KILL the hero.

6 the wife is shot instead

7 the hero kills the bad guy

in other words the bad guy pulled his GUN first

shot his wife

THRN the bad guys was shot

that Looks like MURDER to Vulcan in Ohio?

dude are you like fucking stoned?

Violence is the first resort to the undeniably stupid. The hero was no better than the villian, both used violence as a means to an end, both were willing to sacrifice the law to get what they wanted and both were quite willing to murder someone who stood in their way. A real man would have done what he did and then accepted the punishment that was due. In other words, what he did was illegal, from the break and enter to the pre-meditated murder (after all, why bring a gun if not to kill?) and if he was a real man, he would have shown his son the most valuable lesson he could teach...you do the crime, you do the time.

Seriously, it's like a woman with a penis. That and serving in the army gives you magical empathy powers and absolute discernment of the human character. Hard to say why most jarheads are nothing but glorified jocks.

Anonomous can kiss my ass!

anonymous is a pussy, i see that, but this story was crap. yea, its possible the guy was in the military, but how many stories are out there that have the same thing? being in the military doesnt make you rambo. anyway, this story was way too short and pretty much bullshit. what, we're supposed to believe he didnt once think his wife cheated or that he didnt ask his friends earlier, much earlier, to help find out everything about the new neighbors? also, wifey didnt jump in front of the bullet or save his life. she hit his arm and got shot in the heart which i will say she didnt deserve but i dont feel much sympathy for her death cuz she was an idiot and prob would have been the dbags whore just to keep any pictures from her husband. and thats another cliche, fucking blackmail. why do authors continually use that shitty plot, when it makes no sense. so you're blackmailed-because you went out to fuck someone or you were drugged- and now you have to fuck so and so (possible group sessions +drugs) all to keep hubby or wifey in the dark. are you fucking retarded? that makes everything worse and despite the stories here, if that shit ever happened, there is no way on gods green earth that couple would stay together after she became the village whore and banged everyone just so he wouldnt know.

I always say fiction should be as real as possible and you made it so. OK it was not a happy ending but you play you gotta pay.

Please keep writing. I have read all your stories all good reads.

it seems like it all worked out for the best, dead whore, dead pimp and a new, better looking woman entering his life.

Hawkeye your story was ok. I think it was rushed and proper research was not done. I also think you are in dire need of an editor to help you hash out these problems and clean up your story.

If you are going to continue to write in this genre, which I hope you do, you are going to have to get some skin thickner, if you don't the trolls and anonymous jerks will drive you to drink. Some anonymous commentors offer criticisim that is constructive and others are just jerks that attack the story and some times the author. The latter is not worthy of a rebutal by you as the author.

VG

Just commenting on the apparent arsenals of weaponry carried by Americans, stored in their bedrooms, and brought out at the slightest excuse.

The Hero in this tale apparently drove with one tucked next to his spine.

The Villain also had one right handy, under the influence of drugs and also whilst being villainous.

Cheers [ hiding behind a sofa ]

Kilroy

That's as stupid as being "sex feet tall."

Heart warming tale of a dedicated husband. Gee, could this guy have handled things any worse?

Looks like everyone in the story got what they deserved. And all of you anons that are bitching about the guns need to remember you'd be writing in German or Japanese if it wasn't for all those American guns and real men that know how to use them. Or did that slip your memory?????

Let's talk Fred...

We know from Vietnam that yankees do not know how to use gun....hehehe.

You dont have to remind us.

Yankees are Tiger in front of small oponent...like Saddam, and Rat in front of...hehehe, like China, formar Soviet Union.

You better sell Pizza for better future.

He was JUSTIFIED in HIS USE OF DEADLY FORCE. Our hero, unfortunately was not. So, in stead of "clearing" him the police would have booked him for either Manslaughter or Murder depending on the humor of the D.A. It is even possible that he could be charged with t he death of his cheating slut of a wife.

So, sorry

He didn't beat the scum anywhere near to death. Assault and battery, yes, but not attempted murder. Since he was leaving when he was shot, the shooter was committing attempted murder. The shooting of Donna was murder. The finding would have likely been justified homicide and never gone to trial.

... Ding Dong the Witch is Dead .... reminds me of a classic movie ... Cuck/Wimp boys this really must Suck for you ....

Crap story and idiot comments about the legalities - vote "1" and move on...

Who knew what and where evil lurks. NoW the real sorter out can take charge. TK U MLJ LV NV

He would be arrested and sent to prison for first degree murder. That is not different than when robbers break into your home and assault and shoot you. When robbers unlawfully enter your home and assault you, you have the right to use deadly force so if the robbers shoot you, that is murder and any claim of self-defense would be discarded by the courts.

And, there is no question about it. Gloria is going to testify against him and since she is aiding the prosecution she would get off easy.

The facts to the jury are: A man took a gun, unlawfully entered a couple's home, assaulted the man and killed him with a gun. His wife also assaulted the man by assisting her husband to prevent the man from protecting himself in his own home, making her guilty of the crime, and the man rightfully shot her to protect his himself and his wife. No doubt Gloria will testify that he came in said he was going to shoot her husband, beat her husband up and then shot him and that his wife assisted in the murder.

That is a slam-dunk case for the state.

I keep a couple handguns in my house to defend against intruders. If I took one to someone else's house which resulted in my wife and anothers death I'd be prosecuted and sued. End up broke and taking it in the cornhole - perhaps that was the author's fantasy from the start.

Actually that could and would be argued as temporary insanity / crime of passion.

DWornock isnt happy unless the man is sucking out the creampie of another man in his wife.

He just comes on each "Loving Wife" Category story and tries to put himself over as a critic. Remember, a Critic is someone who sets themselves up as an "authority" on something they cant do themselves.... like write a short story.

4 stars, I enjoyed it.

For dude spouting first degree murder. WRONG!!! Slimeball pulled and fired first. It's called self defense. Loved the story only wish it was longer.

I'm used to seeing their comments on the mother-son incest category. Shouldn't women haters be in the gay category? Confusing.

1* for this fucking mindless anti-erotic drivel.

Well, I really sure most of us enjoyed your story. If your critics think are so good maybe they should try writing. Forget them and keep writing for those of us that want to read what you post. Thankyou

ONLY CLOSURE. TK U MLJ LV NV

Spend a couple of minutes thinking about how to finish your story as it would relate to normal people. You had a "5" going until you rushed to that ridiculous conclusion.

I thought the ending was fitting for this story. The previous comment was wrong headed and stupid. 5 stars

There were different ways this story could have gone. The author used a quick fix to end it abruptly. I might have gone in another direction. Maybe someone will write a redux.

..it was a sad ending, she went there every day and not once did she consider confiding in her husband.

She quickly knew who these two were and went with their program. Obviously, she knew she was wong, probably hated herself but made no attempt to stop.

Sad, he'll never get over her and always wonder at what time he missed the first clue. Telling her what he thought was a show of trust by him for her. He will eventually realize that she broke his trust and went with sexual attention el;sewhere and that will always bother him - wasn't he man enough?

Thanks, good story!

that was a quick out on the part of the writer....bill

loved the ending. That's how a man should react to his wife's infidelity.

and are unaware or just think status quo. TK U MLJ LV NV

it was very prolonged by his drug using whore of a wife, blackmailed indeed, why was she eating the whores cunt in the first place. He was willing to throw her away the cons mouth caused the next events, then his wife took the bullet and let the con die. To bad the whore didnt die also. It was and explicit correct ending.

Pretty clear Donna had a severe case of depression resulting from her reaction to the miscarriage. Husband should have INSISTED on her consulting with a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist skilled in such problems! He should not have given her a choice!

She was not in control of herself and was SICK! NO mention of the damage she was inflicting on her son. The story should have at least dealt with her relationship with husband and son, or simply left out the existence of their son. Why add the son to the mix if that was to be ignored in the story!!! Dan

didn't see that coming.

Finally a man out here. Tired of the cucks. Loved it.

Well written. "roscovich".

"4*".

I agree with Karwn. Finally a writer with his junk intact

All guilty parties got what they deserved. All cheaters deserve what happened in this tale.

Donna was suffering some type of breakdown as is natural in woman which having a miscarriage. I think it's called postpartum depression which is easily remedied with anti depressants and therapy. Donna got into a jam with scumbags and she was obviously not in control of her faculties. The author was crude and uncompromising in the scene at the end where Donna takes a death shot intended for her husband whom she loves in her heart in spite of her mental dilemma. I don't like sad endings especially when in my heart and mind I knew Donna was in ill health. I felt she should've reached out for help from her loving husband who would've gladly brought her back to safer ground and gotten her professional help that she desperately needed. To her detriment, her husband extended his hand to help and she was blackmailed already in a state of turmoil. I would've given this a higher rating than 4 stars if the ending didn't include Donna's death.

First, never heard of postpartum depression as a result of a misscarriage the hormones invovlec are not similar. Second, yes there were psychologoical problems (my major) involved with her misscarriage and the aftermath but depression does not cause a rise in libido but rather quite the opposite so one has to explain the sudden onset of girl on girl sex. Third what easily could explain all that resulted was the loneliness she felt after her miscarriage and being a staying at home homemaker, was the over involved next door neighbors suddently ine her life, The gradually filled the void of lonliness and started to subtley drive a wedge in her marriage plus the powerful effects of cocaine. Ever wonder why a non drinking, no drugs married woman would accept cocaine ?

every time a gun goes bang a sank dies and goes to hell, hahahaha, the shit she was into would have killed her kid, therapy is for pre-sluts after that's a bullets job to set her free to go talk to god and burn in well you know where.

fucking violent man. loved it!!!!!

You've been watching too many cop shows. They all last forty-four minutes. They all have a grand build up, but end the same way- somebody gets shot. I gave you a five for good grammar, but the story was too formulaic. Seen one, read one; seen or read them all.

Donna was a big girl. She didn't deserve to die but she deserved to live in pain. Without her child. Homeless. In the street. Sucking dick for food money.

You get my point.

This story sucked!

And sim0le -

Maybe too simple - but she had choices and she made all the wrong ones - even if she was depressed -

He will live on and love again - the son will be better off with her dead cleanly than many other possibilities - not happy and not easy but it has finality -

I guess that works. How did you not manage to kill Gloria? I guess he needed a bigger gun or something.

....blame her actions on a miscarriage. They were the actions of a loose slut.

My wife had two miscarriages between our first born and our last born. She was devastated of course, but didn't become depressed. It brought us closer together and I was there for her.

I wish women (and some authors!) would quit blaming women tramping around on menopause and miscarriages. With my wife, I've went through both and we can both tell you, neither is an excuse.

I shed a silent tear when Ronnie shot Donna. Poor Hank never got the satisfaction of shooting the cunt himself. That and she died too quickly. Poor Hank.

you suck whole hearted grade a monkey nuts. You cuckold loving thunder cunt

as close as next door. TK U MLJ LV NV

No way do you continue to love a sperm filled skank!!!!

Any excuse to shoot someone. Fuck me, what children you all are.

A commenter wrote, "Any excuse to shoot someone. Fuck me, what children you all are."

What a dumbass.

You must be one of those who don't understand reality. I almost hope that you're never in a situation where you have someone with a loaded gun pointed at you, ready to shoot, because it's certain you wouldn't defend yourself. Probably no great loss, either. But you're also clearly the type that wouldn't defend another person from harm either. There aren't "excuses" to shoot people, there are reasons, and defending yourself is quite valid. You are an experiment in Darwinism just waiting to happen.

removed from society. what the justice system refused to do.

but u r a wimp for letting it go as long as it did.

2 strs

I was liking the story but it seemed a little rushed, maybe a little more time on the spiral. The ending did seem very rushed. Potential

in each marriage vow there should be another caveat on discussions. TK U MLJ LV NV

are a joy to behold.

I just wanted to hear Gloria died of Aids too though...

waste of time.

the whore and her pimp are dead.

Your stories start well, but go too far from the original theme; and leave us all hanging with no satisfaction of fulfilled climax.

this story didn't wander at all, it was on topic and right on

5 for a good story

Vote 1* for every story rated by 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄 (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!

You don't seem to be writing anymore so maybe this comment is pointless, but, slow down the action in your stories. It all takes place at a breakneck pace and they would be better if they were slower and more developed.

I call it justice, She cheated with the whore on her own before she was blackmailed. She dug the hole, now she lays in it

Why do women pour out their guts to near strangers instead of talking to her husband? Why do they let friends, neighbors and strangers talk trash about their loving husbands? I don't recall Ronnie or Gloria participating in Hank and Donna's wedding vows. Never take marital advice from someone who stand to lose nothing if your marriage fails. Extremely well-written story. Worthy of a 5-Star rating.

She was a cheating slut at heart and she paid the price, no great loss. Even Sam will forget the bitch.

The story is a sad one abd a lottle rushed.

I am sure in todays technology age the husband could have video is own evidence. It seemed toe as yhe story was a rushed finish. There could have been enough content in this story for a 3rd page.

Keep up the good work author.

Oh well, at least he can slag that cunt Gloria after she get's out fo jail. Make her die long and slow.

Some commenters believe that Hank would go to jail for killing Ronnie. No jury is going to take the word of a drugged up dealer such as Gail over upstanding Hank! Ronnie and Gail have rap sheets on possession of drugs and dealing in drugs. Hank told the police that he feared for Donna's life when saw her car at drug dealer Gail's place. Being a law abiding Texan, Hank is allowed to normal carry his weapon on his person. Ronnie attacked Hank when he entered the room so Hank defended himself by hitting Ronnie in the face. This is called Standing Your Ground. Then Ronnie grabbed his gun and Donna jumped in front of Ronnie to protect her husband. Ronnie shot Donna then Hank returned fire. You see, the good guys always have the best lawyers.

Another story ruined by a rushed and lazy ending. 2*.

Terrible ending

bless Brenda. :)

Did you finish this story while you were having a shit? Because it stinks! Gave it a 1...

he sure as hell put it into motion, TK U MLJ LV NV

This is maybe the worst story I've seen on this page. I wonder if loving wives was always a cuckold site? Why in the world would this guy grieve over a cheating slut whore? A real man would thank his lucky stars he didn't have to go through a divorce and maybe give half his shit to this dirty skank.

She died sorry, but she didn't have to be there. Sad for both. Gloria should have gotten the bullet after it blew up Ronnie. Must have been a hollow point.

Come on Guys You gotta be kidding Me! This story is made of the same stuff that comes out of the northern end of a south bound bull! MOO POO! ☆ WOOF!

yes you did make the world abetter place killing place killing off that piece of shitt maggot Ronnie he was the worst kind of dog shit need a follow up please