All Comments on 'Dan and the Bottle Ch. 04'

Some kind of transition point would be appreciated. Extra space between paragraphs, underscores, hyphens, stars, something to let the reader know that a new perspective is about to begin.

Just a little thing, after having lived in Hawaii for 15 years, all the coffee growers are on the Big Island, and Pearl Harbor is not. Pearl Harbor is on the island of Oahu. Which is where Honolulu and Waikiki are also at. 5 minuets looking at a map would have helped.

Other then that I am enjoying your story. Can't wait to see what else is coming down the road.

I'll admit, the geography of the south Pacific isn't my strong suit, and I improvised, so as not to break my train of thought while I was pecking away at the keyboard.

I'm using paragraphs to transition from one group to the next, figured that would be plenty.... as it has been in every other book I've ever read.... in the past forty odd years.

wow im good with it keep it up ..this is not about paragraphs lol