All Comments on 'Dancing the Night Away!'

Just how things should go without a lot of rationalization. They knew what path they were on and went deep center field. I love the story and the reaction I got from it. Keep it up (writing) LOL

its nice to read of normal people making love with no mention of giant cocks and breasts. i enjoyed this story very much

I liked this story you did a good job and made the characters just average people. Hope there is more to come, Thank You!

Not to much dancing and the story had a few mistakes (not sure how you changed your bosses cock considering she is a she, but perhaps thats another story ;) ). But over all Loved it. As said above, your people seem like normal people, You didn't make the brothers cock like superman (he was 10.5 inches!).

The only other improvement I could offer was the build up. It seemed like they jumped to sex quickly. Neither char. thought about the moral issue with incest? Or maybe this has been building up for awhile.

Either way, i'm not the author just a commentor. LOVED IT girl! Keep me posted.

Jamie, aka Foxxxie

well done and very hot....you have a gift for a young girl...part 2 soon please

Yet another author who doesn't know how to properly express time. The correct format is "4:30" not as in the story of "430".

find a good editor and always use one before posting also where was the baby and how old is it you never said and you never danced with your brother just a look alike

DBRS

Story was rather sweet, but the editing (lack of) was (is always!) distracting. I too got hung up on 'cock on boss's computer' (clock) and things like 'half pass three' (half-past three). The point of writing erotica is to share a steamy daydream. The point of good editing is to make that fantasy an effortless experience, rather like, say: coasting a bicycle downhill. Poor editing is a bit like coasting downhill on a potholed road with too much traffic; good editing is coasting downhill on new tarmac, no traffic, just you and the wind in your hair and the smile on your face.

who gives a fuck? it's still morning, so it's similar to 0430 military time... ... other than reading your nitpicking comment, the story was good, albeit a tad rushed towards the end of it

Your story was great, well written but for the editing, or total lack of, as tohers said, i ruins the flow of the story. I loved it other than that, so i gave it 4/5 stars...please continue, and PLEASE find an editor, I for one volunteer to do the editing for you <:o)

Thanks, tony

While some are prepared to let your spelling errors slip, it needs to be pointed out that once a reader starts to become irritated, it quickly becomes annoyance, and next thing you've got is a reader who isn't enjoying what you've written - a reader who is not going to give you a 5 star rating.

Pay more attention to what you're writing, use the spell-checker, or run your stuff past one of Lit's volunteer editors before submitting.

Other than all that, this was OK. But only 2 stars, instead of the 4 that it might have otherwise received.

For a first try it wasn't bad. Obviously there's room for improvement and I'm sure that will come. Nice job!

I loved reading about the sex that they had, it was what I thought making love to each other.

I hope that the author will continue with the sweet affair that these loving kids and having.

awesome very hot horny story, reading this was very exciting love the writing brilliant cant wait to read the next part . but for sure i would love more of your fantastic stories. dancing the night away:

Solid stories, yes you have some spelling errors but otherwise you are off to a great start, don't let unnamed commentors get you down...

Like others have said, check for errors or get an editor. The story sounded down to earth. I wondered what her thoughts were about getting pregnant, that was why she didn't want to hook up with a guy at the club but yet her brother came in her.

I really enjoyed reading this story. The characters connected well and it seemed real. I like to emerse myself into the characters so you did a great job describing them. The story was sexy without going overboard with sex, which is a good thing!

Yeah you had some spelling errors...people will get over it. By the way checked out your profile...YOUR HOT! :-)

As others have pointed out, good start.

Awesome story, Lindsay! Thanks for sharing it, Babe.