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"That's my girl, now what happens if you're fighting a woman?"
"She's going to be missing a juicy part of her thigh."
"I feel sorry for Janet already."
"Janet knows this hold?"
"Who do you think I practiced it on?"
"Gordon, thank God you have an understanding wife."
"She won't let me practice on her, except in bed."
"You 2 are the most active couple I know."
"Why do you think I train so hard. Zoey is an animal in bed, and I don't want to disappoint her by failing her there."
"You mean that you train to keep up with Zoey, and not for all the fighting you do?"
"The fighting only takes a matter of moments. Zoey takes most of the night, until she's exhausted. I knew this since I was 16 years old, and when I talked to my mom about it, she told me that a woman doesn't reach her sexual peak until she's 40. Zoey isn't 27 yet. She has 13 more years to go before she reaches her top. I am not going to let Zoey down, because I love her that much."
"Everyone knows that, Gordon. Anyone who could forgive his wife for shooting at him from 3 feet away, and still live together, and love together is amazing."
"Both Zoey and I had a lot of help. Hanna and Sandra helped Zoey a great deal. Teddy prayed with me, in the chapel, for many months so I could get through that period of time. It wasn't easy, but we had children to think of, our past lives together to think of, and what our futures would be like without each other to think of. I couldn't see myself living without Zoey. I fell in love with her the moment I first saw her. I proposed to her 2 hours later, after a man tried to kill us. We both knew we were meant for each other, so why shouldn't we give each other one more try. It's working out wonderfully for both of us. We are expecting child number 3 in less than 2 months, and it's going to be my 1st son."
"Are you anticipating being like your father, and having a baseball, or a football team?"
"That decision I will leave totally up to Zoey. She is a dynamo, but her body is not built like my mom's. She is tiny, and I am not going to put her through any more stress than she is able to handle. I want her with me for a very long time, and if she says to me that this is our last child, then that is it. I get all the pleasure, well that's not totally true, although I get most of it, but she has to carry the child for 9 long months. Bearing a child takes a lot out of a woman, even one as strong as Zoey, and you. How long do you think it's going to take you to get back into fighting shape?"
"I couldn't answer him at that point, but I gave him an estimate of 6 to 9 months. I told you honestly, just now, that it will take me at least one year. That is a year of very hard work, training every day, just as he does.
The only thing I won't do is fight him, during that year. I'll fight everyone else, just not him. I'll know I'm getting close, when I can beat Janet, Monty, and Newman. If I can get by those 3, I'll know I'm almost ready for him.
The problem going up against Gordon is he always has something new in his bag of tricks. You never know when he's going to throw something new at you. He is so inventive, and quick, you could be counted out, before you realize you're down on the mat. He was always trained by the very best.
He even has tapes from Dycke Schneider, Zoey's father, who was trained by champion caliber mentors. Dycke got so good that he was as good as any of his protection unit personnel, except one. That man became the highest-paid agent on his payroll, because Dycke would fight him every 6 months. It was a standard wager of $10,000. Dycke refused to believe he couldn't beat this man. If he won, he got bragging rights, and the agent got nothing. If the agent won, he got the $10,000, and bragging rights for the next 6 months.
Dycke stands 5'10" on a good day and weighs 165 pounds, maybe 170. He is wiry strong, trains daily, and doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. His opponent, James, is slightly larger. 6'3", 220 pounds of pure muscle and smart as hell when it comes to fighting. He is in charge of training all of the agents. He sets up all the protection procedures for executive personnel, and their families. He sets up the physical regimen for each of his agents, and trains against them to check on their progress. No one ever bet against James winning his matches against Dycke. It was a no-brainer. As per the rules of the house, all winnings go to charity."
Now Gordon is the very best we have, and he has to invent new tortures for the rest of us to learn. Whether he goes to the ancient past to find something interesting and modifies it into something new, or dreams up something out of thin air, as his opponent, you have to be ready to defend yourself from all sides."
"Laura, while your mouth was going you gave birth to our baby. Did you feel anything, or were you too busy thinking about the pain you were going to exert on Gordon?"
"Stop kidding with me, Adam. Lois would've told me to push our son out. I'm going to give you the longshoreman's hand shake, just to remind you of what pain feels like."
She heard an infant crying but it had to be someone else's baby. When Adam asked the nurse if he could hold his son, Laura began having doubts.
"Lois, where are you?"
"Getting ready for my next patient."
"What about me?"
"What about you, Laura? You've had the easiest labor I've ever seen. That baby came shooting out of you like a torpedo. I should tell all my patients to start talking a blue streak at their husbands, like you talked. I didn't have to give you an epidural, because you didn't exhibit any pain at all."
"I didn't feel a thing, Lois. I didn't feel any contractions or pressure. Is he okay?"
"All his tests are positive, and God bless him, he's got a mouth like his mother."
Adam said, "Oh shit, not another mouth from the South."
"I was not born in the South, you ass hole. I was born in New York City."
"Do you see what I mean, you were born in the southern end of the state. You couldn't go any further south if you wanted to."
"Adam, you are going to die."
"Can you handle both children by yourself darling?"
"My mother handled 3 of us."
"From what I've learned about your mother, and her relationship with her children, the only one she wound up talking to was Anna. Robert and you were constantly trying to run away from the household, because you couldn't deal with her and her restrictions on your life. How am I doing so far, dear?"
"I'm not talking to you anymore."
Lois said, "Whatever you said hit too close to home, Adam. You can pick up the baby tomorrow morning. He'll be in the incubator until then."
"Thank you, Lois. What do I do with my wife?"
"If you wind up dead in the morning, you have 5 witnesses that will testify against her. Laura, you are going to your room in a wheelchair and into bed. No sex for 2 months. Even though this was a very easy delivery, you have to give your insides time to recover. You can play with your daughter, and pick up your son all you want. If you have any excessive bleeding, I want to know about it immediately. Do you have any questions?"
"Why did I have such an easy delivery this time?"
"Your body was here, but your mind was in another realm of existence, while talking to your husband. You pushed when you were supposed to, and the baby came shooting out. You didn't need any stitches or an epidural, because you didn't exhibit any pain. You delivered in under 5 minutes from the time you arrived here, and that is extraordinary."
"I'll make sure the next one makes you earn your money."
"How was there possibly going to be a next one, if you're going to kill your husband?"
"There are other men available, on board."
Lois said, "I've never met a woman who was as full of shit as you are."
"Lois, you're not supposed to tell him that."
"Laura, he will realize it when you don't kill him."
"He's not that smart."
"He got you to marry him, didn't he?"
"I didn't want to go into space a virgin, and we needed a plumber desperately."
"Tina, take her to the chapel. If we had a priest on board, she would need all day to confess all the lies she's told in the last hour."
"Lois, be careful walking past the steps. She may throw you down them as well as me."
"Thank goodness for the cameras. They will see her do it, and convict her of murder in the 1st degree. If she's lucky, they can throw her body out into space, and find Jack floating around there."
"Adam, would you take me home now. I think I have everyone in here angry with me now. I'd better go to bed and figure out what's wrong with me."
"It's called postpartum depression, dear. 1 minute you're pregnant, and the next minute you're a new mother. You will get through it, especially when you start running 5 miles tomorrow morning. You start your training in earnest, and I'll make sure Gordon is there to help you along."
"I am absolutely sure I am going to kill you, Adam. I don't even get one day off after giving you your son?"
"Not even 1 minute off, my love. You want to be in shape in one year. You said you wanted to start immediately after the baby was born. The baby is here. Tomorrow, you start your training. Nothing advanced, but we are starting on your legs, with Gordon at your side."
"Okay, take me to my room so I can rest, and tomorrow morning, I will start training."
"Before you go, you have to tell us what you are naming this child, so we can put it on his birth certificate."
"It's up to you, Adam. What do you want to name him?"
"I want to name him after your father."
"Stephano? How about Stephan, instead?"
"That works fine for me. Please spell it properly, because he's being named after a brilliant man. He's the man that gave me a chance to come along on this venture, not you. I wanted you. He gave me the chance to have you."
"I fell in love with you before we entered space."
"There was one space I didn't enter, until we were married and that was just before we entered the Good Luck 1."
"You 2 can continue to argue later. You may pick up your child and check the paperwork tomorrow when you come here in the morning. Everything must be perfect when we put it into the computer."
As she was being wheeled out of the infirmary, Laura turned, "Thank you everyone, I'm sorry I was a pain in the ass. I don't know what got into me."
Adam said, "I do."
"Adam, I swear I'm going to kill you."
"I'll make sure I'm easy to find. I'll be on the other side of the bed."
"I can kill you there too."
"I would die with a smile on my face."
"When are you going to learn that you will never get the last word in?"
"Laura, you are so easy."
"Adam, you are going to be in so much pain."
"I have been since the day we were married."
"I really should kill you, but George would never forgive me for it."
"How would he know?"
"Someone on the Good Luck 2 would tell him, and he would be so disappointed in me."
"Is he the only person in the world that you would hate to disappoint?"
"Him mostly, because he's my friend. My mom and dad would be disappointed with me, also, but I've disappointed them in the past, and they would get over it."
"Okay you, let's get you into bed."
"Can I take a shower first?"
"Doctor Lewis said, "Bed!" Not shower. You can shower later, after you get some rest. You just gave birth to a baby, and even though it was an easy birth, you still carried our child for 9 months, and it did take a toll on you."
"Okay, I'll sleep for a while, then I'll take a shower. What did our baby look like, I don't remember?"
"You were really out of it in there, weren't you? I don't know what drugs you were on, but if we could bottle it, we could make a fortune."
Laura didn't answer him, because she was asleep. He pulled up a chair and put it beside the bed to keep an eye on her. There was no telling what she was going to do when she woke up, and he wanted to be there when she did. He decided to call Gordon and ask him a question. He took out his communicator and made a general call.
"Captain Gordon Luck, this is Adam Schiff please come to my room if you have a moment."
Gordon responded, "I am in a meeting now, Adam. I'll be there in 15 minutes."
"Thank you, Captain, I will be waiting for you."
Laura didn't move once during the time Adam was watching her. When Gordon knocked at the door, he swiftly moved to answer it before she was disturbed.
"Come in, Gordon. I have one question for you. It may be very important, or it may be nothing. When you were out walking with Laura today did you see her eat anything out of the ordinary? Did she taste a flower, or eat a leaf that she never touched before?"
"We did walk a different path today, because it was shorter and I did not want to tie her out. Why, what happened that was out of the ordinary?"
"She delivered our son with no medication and extremely quickly. Lois had never seen anything like it before, and I said to Laura that whatever she took, if we could bottle it, we could make a fortune. I was half joking at the time, but the more I thought about it, I thought I should talk to you to see if there was any validity to my statement."
"That's excellent thinking Adam. What else happened with the delivery?"
"Laura was completely out of her mind. She only threatened to kill me a dozen times in the hour we were in the infirmary. That's about normal for us when we are together, and she's angry with me. However, she was in a really funny mood with everyone. What really convinced me that she had taken a mood-altering drug was when she said she couldn't remember what our son looked like. She held him for 15 minutes, and nursed him. How could she forget what he looks like?"
"Adam, it would appear that every scientist on this boat of ours is going on a field trip. We are going to take the exact route Laura and I took yesterday, and take samples of every plant along the way. We have to find exactly what Laura ingested. If it made her delivery that easy, and pain free, just think what he could do for people in pain from a broken arm, or for someone undergoing an operation. It could be a breakthrough of major proportions in the medical field."
"Let's hope Doctor Finch doesn't have to open your head again why you're taking this stuff, Gordon."
"I would not look forward to having my head opened again, Adam. I still have headaches thinking about it."
"If you 2 could shut up, or talk a little quieter, a woman could get some sleep."
Gordon responded, "You could try to give me the 'longshoreman's hand shake', and I could knock you out for the next 2 days instead, Laura."
"I hate you, Gordon."
"Hate is the closest thing to love."
"I love Adam, not you."
"According to the word going around the ship, you're going to kill Adam 12 times. I don't know how that's possible, but if anyone can do it, I'm sure it's you."
"I was angry with him; I wasn't really going to kill him."
"Saved again, Adam. You get to fool around with those 17 and 18-year-old girls all you want, while you supposedly training them."
"You are going to get me killed, Captain."
"I'm just trying to keep your marriage sound, like mine."
"I've seen Zoey running after you. There was real fear in your eyes. Anyone else could be running after you, and you love it. When Zoey is after you, death is close at hand."
"Zoey would never kill me. She would cut off my legs so I could not move, and be dependent on her for everything. However, she would not kill me. She's proven that once already."
"The children watch that as part of a mathematical program. They can't figure out how she missed from 3 feet away. It just doesn't compute."
"It must be the new math my sister came up with, because I'm still here."
"Adam kick him out, I want to go to sleep."
"Thank you for coming Captain, enjoy your outing tomorrow."
"There will be at least 25 of us out there tomorrow looking for what she ingested. It will take most of the day to accomplish. Goodbye Laura, you can go to sleep now."
"Goodbye loudmouth."
Adam returned to his chair and Laura asked him what that was all about.
"It was all about you, my dear. They are going to take a walk tomorrow following the same path you and Gordon took this morning. Apparently, you tasted a flower or leaf that affected your system like a mood- altering drug. It not you completely into a different state of consciousness. That's why you didn't feel the baby being born, and can't remember what he looks like. Gordon believes it could be a major medical find if we can synthesize it and use it under the proper conditions. If someone breaks an arm, and is in a great deal of pain, instead of using a general anesthetic, we can use whatever you took today on them, relieve the pain and set the arm without any problem."
"I think I'll walk with them. I would remember what I touched and what I tasted. We took a different route this morning. It was shorter, and it was the 1st time we went that way. There were some different vines and flowers that I had never seen before, and I may be able to point them out to Gordon and the other scientists."
"That's my girl, now go to sleep. I'll bring you some lunch in 3 or 4 hours. Then you can take your shower and go back to bed for the evening."
"I have a problem, Adam."
"What is it?"
"I'm horny as hell."
"I may be able to help you with that after you eat and take a shower."
"Thank you."
82. Augusta National (A Wedding OR A Widow)
The starter checked all 4 golfers making sure no one had more than 14 clubs in each bag. Of course, Sam had 17 in his bag and was furious when he had to remove 3 of his wedges to get down to the professional limit. They may not have been professionals, but they were playing on a professional course, so they were using the rules played by professional golfers.
Sam said, "I got you 2 this time. The lady's tees are not set up. You will have to play from the big boys' tees, and I can outdo you from there."
Rebecca asked, "Grandpa, do you think you'll be able to find the fairway on any which 1 of these holes?"
"Don't get snippy with me young lady, you haven't been married, yet."
"Don't start with me about that mix-up, grandpa. It wasn't my fault that I'm not married to Richard, yet. Grandma made the arrangements, and she never makes a mistake. I mean never. I would bet you a dollar to a doughnut someone called the justice of the peace and told him to come at a different time, but I can't prove who it was. I know who it was, but I can't kill you without evidence."
"I will swear on my wife, granddaughter, it was not me. I was looking forward to you being a normal person again, and if it meant you and Richard saying, "I do," I was all for it. I did nothing to delay your wedding, and you will be married today if I have to drive around this entire state to find the justice of the peace to do it."
"Becky, I believe he means it. There is steam coming out of his ears, and there is no buffet around."
"Don't be smart with me, little sister, you are next on my list of deviants. Did you make the call that screwed things up?"
"Why would I do it? I had nothing to lose or gain by delaying your wedding. I knew you were going to get laid today, one way or the other, and I was hoping to regain my title as 'bitch' from you, as soon as tomorrow morning."
"You are a bitch, and we all know it. I just put you in deep freeze for a few months. Now shut up until I find out who did this to me."
The starter said, "Are you for ever going to tee off? You're going to ruin my schedule if not."
Joan said to the starter, "I'll get them moving. They'll argue while they're on the course."
