Dark Soul and Max

I got to the theater and was walking on stage drinking. I sat behind Malice's drum set. I did sometimes when I was thinking about Max.

-----------

While on my vacation I ended up in London. Was in a nice club. I had been checking out clubs, more exact bands in those clubs. I was looking for something, but like always I didn't know what.

Then I did.

I was enjoying a pint listening to a pretty decent band. Then I heard what I was looking for. The song the band was playing was original. Nothing crazy. Average rock band, a little refinement they could make a decent living. During the guitar solo, the lead guitarist took off. I just listened as the rest of the band tried to keep up. It made them sound off, which is why they probably were here, instead of making it bigger. My (un)professional opinion.

A couple of songs later, the singer announced a break. I took my fresh beer and went over to the lead guitarist as she was chugging a bottle of water. She was a tall blonde Viking. She looked at me suspiciously. I seemed to get that a lot.

"I'm Jake. I'm putting together a band. I am looking for a lead guitarist. Wanted to know if you would be interested. We are in Ireland, just putting a few touches on an album, but need a lead guitarist," I wasn't sure she was believing me.

She affirmed my suspicion with a snort. "Sure you are. You're even American. I'm sure you are just trying to get into my pants. You probably don't even know how to play an instrument," she said doubtfully, with a Swedish accent.

I was seeing an opening. I plodded on, "From what I hear, the band is holding you back. They can barely keep up, and you are haven't even let loose fully. Kind of like my bassist and his old band. I have a drummer that can set fire to a stage. We would really push you to the edge and beyond. If you don't believe me, how about you and I play a bit. After we play, if you think I'm lying, no harm no foul, I'll buy you a beer and walk away. If you think what I'm playing is a better fit, I'll let you know where to find us. If I am wrong, and you can't keep up, then you owe me a beer."

Her doubtful look turned to one of interest. "Fine. Give me a minute to clear it with the others. You can use that guitar over there."

She was probably testing me. One was a bass, the other a guitar. I grabbed the guitar and strapped it on. I started running through some chords to make sure it was in tune. A few minutes later the Viking woman came back. She picked up her guitar and strapped it on. She nodded at me, and it began. I thought it would last a few minutes. Half an hour later ripping through riffs and songs we had a broken string and bloody fingers. We both stopped. Staring at each other, she grabbed her water, I grabbed my lukewarm beer. We drank.

"Here is where you can find us. I'll give you two weeks," I said as I handed her a card to Rocky's music store. I walked off stage to a cheering crowd. That was the first time I played out on a stage. Something stirred in me. I liked it, almost needed it. It was cathartic.

--------------

"Everything alright boss?" asked Lyndsey, my make up artist.

"Yeah, just thinking," I replied as I got up from Malice's drums, and followed Lyndsey, my make up artist backstage. I hired her a few years ago. She was tiny. Barely five foot and not even 100 pounds. She had a great ass, but barely any breasts. The thing I liked best about her, was her smile. When she smiled, she just seemed to glow and brighten the room. She was a top-notch makeup artist, working on supermodels. My makeup was more of a mask. She didn't just do mine, but also the rest of the band when they did TV interviews or appearances. I had to hire her because I was a little too drunk sometimes to put on my makeup. One night I had done such a bad job, I could have been recognized. By dumb luck, I left my hat on that night. Lyndsey had missed the L.A. shows but would be with us the rest of the tour.

As I sat down and in the chair, I started thinking of that first night I was on stage. I started to realize why I needed this to heal. The army was an outlet for my rage. The music an outlet for my pain. The live shows were an affirmation that I wasn't a waste. Something about thousands of cheering people for what you are doing that feels good. Penelope's degrading me was what really destroyed me when all the secrets started to come out. I felt like I could not amount to anything because she had destroyed me as a man and a human. Subconsciously, maybe coming back to the states was a way to end this journey. I've been reflecting on everything since L.A., and it isn't stopping.

I heard the crinkle of paper in my jacket. It was the letter from Lynn. Part of me wanted to read it. The main part of me was telling me to wait. This was strange because a few weeks ago I would have burned it and moved on. To be honest, I had burned letters from anyone that thought they could "help" me. This time something was different. The question I needed to figure out, was it me or Lynn?

I decided the best thinking was none at all. Lyndsey had a bottle of whiskey on her work table. I took and downed a good amount of it. I could perform drunk. Probably because all the songs came from deep in my soul. The Dark Soul was the one performing. Jake was just along for the ride.

Things after that were a blur. The twins showed up running down things that were happening, before and after the show. For me not, much. Then the show, then the after show, which again for me not much. After the show was an interview, but the rest of the band was there and did all the talking. I just corrected a few things. I was finally able to head back to the room.

When I got the room I grabbed a couple of bottles, a bag of peanuts, and headed to the balcony. I wasn't surprised to see Rocky, and Leona out there, cuddling and giggling a bit. We talked a little before they excused themselves, and headed back to their suite. Alone again, my mind drifted back to that first album, and how far off the rails things went.

-----------------------

It was a couple of days after I returned back to work when the Viking guitarist walked in. I was actually working, and cashing out a customer as she walked around. Lots of eyes were on her, she was something to look at. Tall, greats curves, c-cups, long blond hair, and a smile that lit the place up.

Once I finished up, I headed over to her. "Decided to take me up on my offer?," I asked.

She smiled, "Yeah, my band and I didn't fit. They were doing it for fun. I have been looking for something more serious. You have been the only guitarist to really push me, It was fun playing that night. So I packed up and came here. I am not saying I am in until I see the rest of your band. I am trusting you are on the up and up. "

"Yes, I was serious. If you want there are some demos you can listen to. Max, the drummer, and Daniel, the bassist, will be in tonight to practice. They both work, and we practice around that. What's your name, I never got it the other night?" I asked.

"Ingrid. I don't have anywhere to go. I'd like to hear what you have."

I set her up in one of the studios Rocky had in the store. I checked on her a couple of times, and she was playing along. Good sign I thought. She left for a while but came back just as Max and Daniel were setting up for the night. I finished my closing duties, locked up, and joined them.

"Ingrid, this is Daniel, and Max," I said pointing to each as I said their names. They both nodded at her. I continued, "Ingrid is trying out for the lead guitarist."

We strapped in, and off we went. After a couple of hours, we had a band. We knew it would be a few weeks to refine the songs to get an album, so over the next few days, we tried to find Ingrid a place to stay. My place wasn't much, and I was not very pleasant to stay with. Daniel had five kids, which explained why he looked like he had the life sucked out of him.

That left Max. He was all for it, Ingrid was on the fence. She didn't trust us fully. She stayed at an Inn for a week, before getting a job. She also met Max's wife Helen, and finally agreed to move into Max's place for a while. Max and his wife weren't there much because of work, and she agreed to help with the upkeep instead of rent. Ingrid got a job at a pub as a bartender to make money until things took off.

A month went by, and we finally had enough finished songs for an album, and enough to rough songs to hone in a live setting. Ingrid was really pushing for us to play live. Daniel really didn't want to, because he didn't want to be too far from his wife and five kids, and he had a day job. Me, I didn't care. Something in me was wanting to get out after the day Ingrid and I dueled on stage. Something was missing, but I couldn't place it.

Max suggested I paint my face and become the Dark Soul. Somehow that clicked and I had my Dark Soul persona. Ingrid suggested we didn't play live with Daniel unless we were close enough to Ireland.

No one knows where the name came from. One night we were drinking, First, it was Dark Soul and the Demons. The more we drank the longer the name got. After a few rounds, Dark Soul and the Happy Demon's Dance Party was born.

Everything in place, we put together our first album, "Faith & Love", and started selling it. More in a passive way. Ingrid was the only one really wanting the money and fame, so she pushed it more. She also was a pseudo-manager, getting us gigs, and promoting us. The first few shows weren't pretty. We had to adjust to not having our bassist, and finding our stage presence.

Things started happening faster than anyone could have expected. There seemed to be something when I was on stage that changed me. No matter how drunk I was, Once I started singing something deep and dark took over, and all the rage and hurt I had inside came out. Many a night I walked off stage and collapsed. At first, Max thought I was drinking too much because I started most shows drunk. Soon we realized that I was just leaving everything on the stage, and was exhausted. We tried a few shows with me completely sober, and I was more out of control. Barely made it through the shows sober. The solution was a happy one, I just had to find the right balance between drunk and sober.

Before we knew it, we were doing interviews, signing autographs, and being overwhelmed. Ingrid quit her job at the bar. Since she was doing so much, we made sure she was getting most of the money for her efforts. Daniel was second because Max and I felt sorry for him and his wife. Five kids took a lot. He understood since he didn't do the live shows. We gave him a bump when he did. Max and I were well enough off and not in it for the money, yet. We never thought it would take off like it started to, and we put our pay back into the band to keep it going. That allowed us to hire the twins, to help Ingrid manage, and Rocky to be our roadie. Basically, all Rocky did was drive us around at first. We did all our own setup and tear down. We didn't have a big elaborate stage set up.

It was six months, and our second album, "Not Everyone Makes It Out Alive", was released. We were also expanding our shows to Europe doing weekend festivals or as an opening act. Daniel would join us time to time. Ingrid was really pushing us to quit our jobs, and do it full time, and to ditch Daniel. We were to the place where she thought we needed our bassist full time.

I was surviving. I put everything I had into the albums and performances. It was helping me, and I couldn't wait to perform in the studio or on stage. The in-between stuff of life was what sucked, but alcohol helped with that.

Max was the only one that didn't seem to be doing well. He was able to get his shifts moved to Monday through Friday, but they were still long shifts. Plus practicing with us, and traveling on weekends, and trying to satisfy his wife, he was maxed out. Just as Max was talking about quitting the hospital, which shocked me, all hell broke loose.

---------------

I woke up wet. It was raining, and I had fallen asleep on the balcony. It felt good, but I was upset I was awake. I walked inside, and everyone was eating lunch, and going over the day. It was the second and last night of our Vegas shows. The real grind was about to begin. No more fancy hotels. It would be nights on the bus or in cheap motels.

I sat down and ate with everyone, Rocky and his family, the band, the twins, Darryl, and Lyndsey. We were the core of this circus, and we had this down doing it for the last six years. Everyone was excited except me. I had things on my mind. So far the reviews of the shows were through the roof. Me being mysterious and letting the band take care of the publicity was having a positive influence on our image in the states.

I was done eating, and halfway through a bottle of Scotch, when I excused myself. I went to the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready for the show. I packed and set my suitcase out. Darryl had a few guys that would load everything into the bus.

I had about four hours before I had to be at the theater. I sat on a bench in front of the Bellagio. There weren't very many people in the middle of the day. I had my bottle I picked up along the way in a brown paper bag, and took a swig. The classical music and dancing fountains were mesmerizing. Couldn't help drift back and think of Max. He may have been one of the best metal drummers, but he loved classical music.

-------------

Ingrid was a blessing for the band. If it had been left to the three of us, we would have albums, but only playing pubs. Ingrid had us making a name for ourselves. She worked with the twins to be sure we never stopped. Ingrid had quit her bartending job and was the only full-time band member. She was either booking shows, doing interviews, or playing with us.

The cracks started to show with Max. Not only was his job taking a toll on him, but Helen and he started having problems with their marriage. She started accusing Max of cheating on her while we were on tour. That was not possible. Max was as pussy whipped as Rocky, minus the extreme Catholicism. Max, would play, talk to his wife, and sit in his room reading, or writing songs. For a rock band, we were pretty boring. Max didn't do anything because he was happily married.

Daniel didn't do anything because he was so happy to be away from his wife and kids when he was with us. All he wanted to do was stay in a nice quiet hotel, and get a full night's sleep. It must have done him wonders because he got his wife pregnant for the sixth time.

We weren't sure what Ingrid did. She was always on the phone with someone, either work or personal. We didn't pry, she seemed happy. She was a bit of a mystery. No one really got to know her. Max said his wife and her got along and talked a lot. Us guys, we were happy she was hot and could play guitar as well as she did. The pushing us, and growing the band like she did was a bonus.

I spent most of my time drunk and passed out when I was away from any band related things, or from Rocky's store. Don't need to deal with anything, if you don't remember it.

The three of them seemed happy. We were a little exhausted from the hectic schedule, but we were content. The band was our escape.

Things were going well until we released our second album. That is when the first iteration of the band ended.

The day we released our second album, "Not Everyone Makes It Out Alive", I headed to the hospital. I promised Max I would drop off a few copies for him. We had some fans at the hospital, and Max wanted to give them each a copy.

When I found Max, he looked dead on his feet. He was talking to his boss, and they were sending him home. Something about having a 103-degree fever and working in a hospital didn't mix. They were trying to get a hold of his wife to drive him home. They were unable to reach her. I was unusually sober and volunteered to drive him home. I had my motorcycle, but I drove him home in his car. I got Max to the car and home. I figured I would wait around for his wife to take me back to get my bike.

Ingrid's car was in the drive. I thought she was out doing promotion for the album. I figured all the better she could drive me back, and we could discuss band things. Helen's car was in the garage also, so there was someone to take care of him. We walked into the house and we both froze. There on the couch was Max's wife naked, legs spread. Between her legs was a naked Ingrid licking her pussy like there was no tomorrow.

Max's wife was screaming in orgasm. Just as she started to calm down she saw us, and her screams changed to that of horror. She pushed Ingrid away and stood up. Ingrid fell back and spotted us as she tried to catch herself.

Max ran off down the hall, I assumed to vomit. I stood frozen, my mind flashing back to the day I caught Penelope and her lovers. Everything happening around me was in slow motion and felt like I was watching it on TV. The only thing was the faces were those of Penelope, and the lover I caught her with.

Max's wife tried to run after him, but as Ingrid tried to stand they tripped over each other and ended up on the floor. All the screaming and crying was just a buzz in my ears, as I flashed back to my own hell.

As I stared at the two beautiful, naked women, I was seeing something totally different. All I could see was my wife Penelope laughing at me. Her big stud slamming her from behind while she jerked off two others. Laughing and laughing. "You aren't man enough to satisfy me, Jake. Just a two pump chump. Looooooooser!" They all laughed.

A shot rang out and my exes head explode. It snapped me out of one hell and brought me back to my current hell. Only thing was it wasn't my wife (damn), it was Ingrid. Her lifeless eye stared at me. Guess I was never getting that beer Ingrid owed me. Apparently, Max had a gun and had gotten it while I thought he was vomiting. His wife froze. I turned to move towards Max and he leveled the gun at me.

"Stay out of it Jake," he said. He was sweating from his fever I would guess, but he was steady.

"You know I can't do that Max. You just killed my guitarist. I cannot lose my drummer either," I said. My hands were up in clear view. I was slowly moving towards Max. Eyes locked, I was trying to keep him distracted. I was hoping his wife was making her way to her cell.

Then the bastard shot me in the right leg. "What the fuck?" I said as I dropped. I saw his wife, she stopped moving towards her purse.

"Sorry my friend, I need to settle this. I can't end up like you." He turned towards his wife, "Get up Helen."

She started to stand, her hands up. She made the mistake of talking, "Max, I am so sorry, it just happened."

"Shut up Helen. It doesn't matter what you say, it's only going to come across as lies or excuses," I chimed in. I crawled to the wall and was trying to put pressure on my leg to stop the bleeding. the bullet missed anything major so I wasn't bleeding out. The bullet broke my leg and felt like it was stuck in there. Hard to stop the bleeding yourself. It hurts.

"Listen to Jake, Helen," Max said while circling away from me, but closer to Helen. "I am not asking any questions."

"Max put the gun down. Let's talk. I know it's not worth much, but we can get past this," she pleaded.

It was hard, but I kept the thought, "Yeah, right," in my head.

Max walked to his wife, grabbed her and kissed her. She was scared, and didn't respond appropriately, who could?

Max pulled back. He started crying and said, "I love you more than anything in the world Helen. You betrayed me on every level. I am broken physically, mentally and emotionally. I have nothing to live for, if the person I cared for the most betrays me, and doesn't love me the same."