Darling Nikki Ch. 02 - Realizations

I sincerely hope you enjoyed the first chapter and will enjoy this next one, as well. Fair warning, this chapter doesn't contain any sex scenes. As I was writing, the story kept wanting to be more about the main character and his evolution, growth, and change. This series will, in fact, have more sex, but I wanted to let you know up-front that this chapter doesn't, in case you want to skip it.

For those of you who decide to read it, thank you. I really enjoy writing erotica, but I feel this story really wants to be about more than just sex. So for those of you willing to follow Mr. Crowley on this journey, thank you.

Chapter Two: Realizations

Chelsea finished swallowing down my load and then licked and sucked my cock and crotch clean. Groaning softly as she swallowed the last of my errant come, she rolled over and stretched a small hand out and softly stroked my thigh.

I just sat there and watched her for a few minutes, then lay down next to her on the bed and slid my arm across her stomach, pulling her into a cuddle. She smiled broadly and scootched a little closer. We lay there in comfortable silence for about fifteen minutes or so. For once my mind was a complete blank, not a thought running through my head. It'd been a very long time since my mind had been this quiet and I just lay there and enjoyed it. That, and the warm, soft, sexy body next to me.

Finally, Chelsea turned over, nuzzling into my neck and kissed it softly. "I'd better go back downstairs.I'm gonna get enough shit for this from the girls in the first place, but if I sleep here, they'll never let it go."

Unfortunately, her words turned my brain back on. Shit. Shit, shit, shit! What the fuck were you thinking, asshole? Chelsea must have sensed my mood shift, or maybe I stiffened up. I don't know.

But she sat up and gazed at me in some concern. "Mr. Crowley? Mr. Crowley, sir? What's the matter?"

I held up my index finger in a "wait a minute" gesture, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, let it out. Then another. Let it out. I forced myself to relax. Physically, at least. I opened my eyes and smiled slightly at the sweet, naked, well-fucked young girl next to me.

"Nothing, sweetie. Just...it's been a long time since...well...since I've done anything like that. I guess the reality of it just caught up with me. Took me by surprise." Hopefully she'll buy that. She doesn't need me to unload any of my shit onto her.

Chelsea nodded slowly, her green eyes never leaving my face. "First time since Mrs. Crowley passed?"

I just nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

Chelsea leaned down and kissed me very tenderly on the forehead. "Mr. Crowley, I'm sorry. I didn't think about how this might affect you. I was just...we'd had a bit to drink and I've had a crush on you for years, and since a couple of months ago when I accidentaly groped you...I know you might not believe it after tonight, but it actually was an accident. I totally did not mean to grab you when I slipped by the pool...But since that day, the feeling of you in my hand never went away. I've been aching to do more than accidentally grab you. And tonight, with all us girls teasing you, and working each other up a little, I just...I was selfish and attacked you. I'm really sorry. I didn't think about the fact that I was taking advantage of you, and that you might not be ready. But, for what it's worth, you are the most amazing man ever. I'd really love to do this again. You have no clue just how much I want this again. But I know you're going to need time to process."

She sat up a little straighter, the amazing sight of her very large delectable breasts doing their "I'm young and defying gravity" thing barely even impinging on my awareness as her words flowed over me.

She reached over and took my hand, holding it softly. Observing me, watching my expression change, seeing my eyes take on that sparkle of unshed tears. She nodded slightly, perhaps unconsciously.

"Pretty soon what we just did is really going to hit you. You're going to feel guilt. Like you've betrayed Mrs. Crowley. Meg. You're going to agonize that not only have you been unfaithful to her, you were unfaithful to her with your daughter's best friend. You'll feel that the indignity of your infidelity is compounded by the insult of sex with a girl who's literally half your age. All that is natural. And as long as you don't start obsessing over it, it's not even unhealthy. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Just try and remember that we're both consenting adults. I came to you. You didn't seduce me, or drug me, or manipulate me. I forced the issue by taking your cock into my mouth while you were sleeping. This is all on me. Hate me if you need to." Seeing me shake my head she continued rapidly. "If you wind up hating me, or even just mad at me, it's fine. I took advantage of you. That wasn't my intent, but I was horny and selfish. I hope you can forgive me."

I gently pulled her in for a hug and just held her close for an endless moment. "You're right. I need to process. But...thank you. For everything. And I don't hate you. I'm not mad at you. Doubt I will be. We'll just have to see, I guess. I'm just, I don't know, worried, I guess. What are the girls going to think? I mean, I'm practically an old man. They're-"

She sat up and put a finger over my lips. "Shhh. They're not going to think any less of you. They're going to give me shit, because that's how we are, but I guarantee they're down there giggling at the noise we were making, and sincerely happy for you. There's more than one wet pussy down there right now, too, probably some fingers slipping and sliding around inside themselves or someone else. And there's probably some envy. Because you're so very, very sexy, Mr. Crowley. I know there's at least one girl down there wishing she were up here with you. You'll have to figure out who it is for yourself." A quick wink and a saucy grin flashed my way.

"Nikki and I will make sure the girls don't bother you tonight. Do what you need to do and process all this."

She leaned forward and hesitantly kissed my lips. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back, gently, but with feeling.

Smiling, she stood and stared at me for a moment. "You'll be ok, Mr. Crowley. Just remember that nothing 'wrong' or 'immoral' or 'bad' happened here. Two adults having a good time. A very good time." Another quick wink.

"Good night, Mr. Crowley. And thank you."

The door closed softly behind her and the room was silent again. I could hear her tread lightly down the stairs, the fifth stair down creaking as she stepped on it, the refrigerator spinning up and humming, the A/C shutting off, the tick-tock of the grandfather clock that had been in my family for eight generations and crossed the Atlantic with my great-great-great-grandfather when he immigrated from Denmark. I could hear the soft whispers of a couple of the girls and the rustle of a sleeping bag.

And I could hear myself screaming inside my head. Miserable, worthless, shitstain! She'd been drinking and you took advantage of her. What the fuck were you thinking? You cheating bastard! Pathetic worm! Foul and crusty botch of nature! You disgusting piece of filth.

I crawled under my sheets, buried my face into the mattress, pillow over my head, and screamed silently. Huge, painful, wrenching sobs wracked my entire body.

I don't know how long that went on. An eternity? Eventually I ran out of tears, if not self-disgust. I lay quietly, my breath hitching and body occasionally shuddering. I was so wrapped up in my misery I didn't hear my door open.

I only knew I wasn't alone when I heard Nikki breathe, "Oh, Daddy." She lay down next to me, wrapped her arms around me and kissed my shoulder. "It'll be ok, Daddy. I promise." She kissed my shoulder again and held me tight.

Some timeless later I felt her ease herself off the bed, whisper, "I love you so much, Daddy. We'll talk later. Rest." She pulled the pillow off my head, ran her fingers through my hair, kissed my cheek, and disappeared.

* * *

I think I finally fell asleep around dawn. Passed out is a more apt description. The next thing I remember is a scream followed by a loud splash, raucous laughter, and then some cussing.

Glancing at the clock I noticed it was around noon. My body was stiff and sore and my heart still ached. My head still wallowed in black thoughts of betrayal and disgust.

I stood up and walked toward the shower when there came a soft knock at my door, followed by its opening. Scrambling, I managed to grab a sheet and toss it around my waist as Chelsea came into the room with a soft, "Mr. Crowley?"

I chuckled nervously as she took in my state of dishabile and my embarrassed expression. She blushed rather charmingly, quickly spun around and cried, "I'm so sorry!"

Laughing a little more naturally I sat down on the bed, still covering myself. "It's ok, Chelsea. You can come in. It's not like you haven't seen everything anyway."

Her blush actually deepened a little as she turned back around to face me. She stuck her tongue out at me and a cheeky grin flashed across her face. "I wouldn't mind seeing it again." Then her expression shifted to one of concern. "I really just wanted to see how you were doing." Her eyes bored in on my face, noticed my tear-tracked cheeks, and nodded to herself. "If you'd like to talk, I'm available. If you'd like me to leave you alone, I can do that, too. Whatever you need."

I motioned for her to sit next to me. She made herself comfortable a respectable distance away and sat waiting for me to talk.

"I..." Deep breath. Let it out. Fake smile. Try again, asshole. "I'm going to assume that you're as observant as I think you are and not insult your intelligence. I had a rough night. After." I shrugged. "Pretty much everything you said would happen, happened. And I'm a confused mass of jumbled emotions. Hell, I don't know what to think, or even if I can think coherently. I'm a mess. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for taking advantage of you. You said you'd been drinking. I...I should have stopped what we were doing. That was incredibly unfair of me. And I think you should maybe avoid me for awhile because while most of me hates me for what I did, there's at least a part of me that wants to do it again."

Chelsea, such a wonderful girl, smiled brilliantly at me, reached a hand up and caressed my scratchy cheek. "Mr. Crowley. I told you last night, this was on me. Let me ask you, and please be as objective as possible: Did you, in your sleep, somehow make me climb into your bed and take you into my mouth?"

"Of course not."

"And did you, after pulling me off you, somehow make me beg you to make love to me?"

I opened my mouth to speak, then stopped a moment. "Uh, no?" I shook my head, "But I shouldn't have-"

"Mr. Crowley? I begged you to do exactly what we did last night. That was all me. You didn't instigate. You didn't manipulate. You didn't overpower me or make me do anything...except ask you to take me. Which I did. Willingly. Happily." She leaned closer, capturing my gaze with hers. "Now listen carefully. You. Did. Nothing. Wrong."

I nodded slowly, unsurely. Can she be right? Is this ok? It can't be ok. Can it?

She kissed me gently on the lips. "Let me reiterate from last night." She motioned to the two of us. "Two consenting adults." She patted the bed. "An amazing time. Nothing bad or wrong. Just a really good time."

She kissed me again. "Any questions?"

I shook my head gently. "I don't think so. It's just going to take me awhile to process, you know?" She nodded. "Actually, yeah, one question. Why did you sound like a psychology textbook last night?"

She laughed. A good, honest, deep belly laugh. So infectious that I started laughing, too, something I thought would definitely not be happening today.

"We've talked enough that you know I get good grades in school. I guess I never mentioned that I'm in a bunch of AP classes. I'm planning on being a psychologist after college. Getting my start now." She kissed me again on the lips.

"In the meantime, you take all the time you need, ok? If, and god I hope you do, if you want to repeat last night sometime, you just let me know, ok? I'll be ready, waiting, and dripping." A quick wink and she was gone.

Chuckling softly, but still feeling conflicted and confused, I went and just stood in the hot shower for a good half an hour, enjoying having it loosen my stiff and sore muscles.

Coming out of the shower - a towel already wrapped around my waist - came another knock on my door followed immediately by its opening. Nikki popped into my room, and before she could speak, I hollered,

"Gods damn it all! Do I need to start locking my door?"

"Sorry, Daddy!" She ducked back out of my room. Immediately knocked. "Daddy, can I come in?"

I just rolled my eyes. "Fine. Come in."

She bounced over, kissed me on the cheek. "Afternoon, Daddy. We're going out to the Mall for a bit. Grab some lunch, do some shopping. Then we're all coming back here for another night. You mind?"

"I don't know. Am I going to need to lock my door? Am I going to have an unexpected visitor in the night again?"

Nikki had the good grace to actually look vaguely embarrassed. "I don't know, Daddy. I'm not in charge of the girls. They have their own minds...and their own desires. I mean, you can lock your door if you want, but I heard you having a really good time last night. Would it be such a bad thing if you did it again?"

It's a good thing I was right next to my bed, because as soon as she said that my knees gave out and my butt hit the mattress. I'm not sure what expression was on my face, but Nikki suddenly looked very upset and jumped on the bed next to me and wrapped me in a bear hug. "Oh, Daddy."

"How can you be so cheerful, Kitten? I fucked your best friend last night. How can that make you happy? I'm twice her age. Isn't that weird, and creepy, and gross? She should be with guys your age, not mine! What would your M-Mother think?"

She shoved me back. Hard. Held me at arm's length. I'm not sure what she just heard me say, but I'd never seen her look so angry before.

"Don't you DARE use Momma as an excuse for feeling bad! You're my Daddy, the most important person in my whole world, and I love you more than I could ever say...but I will slap you silly if you try that shit again! Momma and I talked a lot while she was sick, talked about everything. And I mean everything. I know exactly how she'd react to what you did last night. She'd throw a fucking party that you finally cleaned your tubes! And with a sexy little bitch like Chelsea! She'd wanna fucking high-five you! Then she'd smack you upside the head for being all miserable about it. So don't you dare think that she'd be anything but thrilled that you decided - FINALLY - that you're alive again. That for one night you'd stopped wallowing in your misery! She'd be fucking ecstatic that you gave Chelsea such a good dicking! And I know just exactly how good a time she had. We could hear y'all just fine, and smell how excited she was from all the way downstairs. Rest assured, mister, that Momma was thrilled you gave my friend such a good time. And you damned well better have enjoyed it, too. And you damned well had better believe me and stop feeling bad. Enjoy the fact that such a sexy young woman wanted you so badly that she snuck into your room and made you see she's a willing, wanting woman. I know you feel like you've betrayed Momma, but you haven't. You keep yourself mired in depression and misery? You do that and you will betray her. One of the last times we got to talk she made me promise not to let what was happening to her derail my life."

She'd finally calmed down a bit and took a deep breath. "She also made me promise that I wouldn't allow you to become a monk, or use her death as a reason to retreat from the world. I've let you get away with it for two years. But it's time you got a hold of yourself and remembered that you're a red-blooded, living man with wants and desires and needs, and get out there and fucking live again. Momma didn't want us to die with her. And she damn sure didn't want you to rot away and 'let that fine cock waste away and not share it with anyone else.'" She glared at me again. "And before you say anything, that's a direct quote. I've held onto that for four years. Her exact words. And I will not break my promise to her. You understand, Daddy?"

Dumbfounded, I just nodded.

"Now, do you want to talk? Without getting all maudlin and pathetic?"

I took a moment to wrench my jaw closed, then just looked at her, watched while she calmed down and stopped giving me that angry death-stare. "I'm honestly not sure what to say, Nikki. I mean, it's not every day a man's daughter tells him that her Momma said she should make sure he went and fucked again."

That got us both laughing pretty good. We held each other close again, and I just marveled in what an amazing daughter I had, thankful that she hadn't been taken from me, and that she loved me so much.

"I promise I'll try not to feel like I've betrayed your Mother with Chelsea." She started to bow up again. "Now hold on, little girl. You're not too big yet I can't turn you over my knee for a good spanking! You've said your piece, now it's my turn." She nodded at me, clearly irritated. She also squirmed a little, which I didn't really notice on a conscious level right then.

"I said I'll try not to feel bad about it. But princess, until you came along, your mother was my entire world. I loved no one else before her. We grew up together. I fell in love with her in kindergarten. Started dating our Junior year when I finally got up the guts to ask her out. Until last night, I've never been with any other woman. Until you came along, my heart was full completely with her. Then you came along and my heart swelled and had room for just the two of you. I never once - in all my life - thought I'd ever be with a woman other than your mother. Ever. And then last night..."

I wound down for a moment, thinking and remembering. "I never once thought that anything like last night would ever happen. I've known Chelsea since she was a little girl. Until your campaign to get me laid I never thought about Chelsea that way. Or anyone, honestly. I thought that part of my life was over. And I was ok with that. I know our vows were 'Til death do us part,' but in a lot of ways, I don't feel we've parted. I can still feel your Momma in our bed. I can still hear her voice, see her smile, smell her scent. In a very real way, she's still with me. So yes, Nicholette, me hammering down into Chelsea last night feels very much like I've been unfaithful. Like I've cheated on your Mother. But before you go getting all self-righteous again, I did hear you. I listened. And in theory I agree. I just...I just need some time to process this new reality where I've slept with someone other than Meg. I know you probably won't understand, since nowadays nobody is a virgin on their wedding night anymore and only ever sleeps with their spouse. But it was my reality. I can't just drop that and jump into a new one with no qualms. So let me figure this out before you think to start slapping me silly."

I smiled lovingly at her. She smiled back and kissed my cheek.

"And before you actually do think to 'slap me silly,' bear in mind that I'm still bigger, stronger, and faster than you. You might get one slap in...but you'd only get the one."

She squirmed again. "Yes, sir. Don't make me have to." A quick wink. "So...are you ok with the girls staying over again tonight?"