All Comments on 'Date Night: Dinner for Two'

Let us know when you have, then try writing your story again.

This should be "erotic couplings". The loving wives category is a euphemism for a woman who has sex with people who are not her husband.

With practice you could make it a great story.

Thanks for the effort, and keeping it within the marriage.

Wrong category. Would have been a 4 in romance or.... Just not a Loving Wives story.

They are so twisted and gross that they get off on the knowledge that they are parhetic losers who famtasize about penis and simply refuse to acknowledge their inherent homosexuality or bisexuality.

They certainly claim to love women and their wives but it is secondary to their big cock fetish. There is also the fact that most of them are secretly racist.

The real reason they're pissed off at you is because your story highlights their own inadequacy and their shame. They know they should love their wives and be sexually attracted to their wives and devoted to their wives but they are not. Even if they don't cheat they are not devoted enough to ensure that they have a healthy and loving devoted relationship to each other. Instead they seek every opportunity to find a way to have their wives engage in sexual activity not for the wives fulfillment but for their own sick twisted and demented personal fantasy

Unrated. Wrong category.

Not that cuckold shite....brilliant....I rarely give above a 3 but for this one 4*

JJ

Wrong Category 2*

Not the ones who think they are entitld. And then make husband into a cuckold.

Anything with no cheating, and no cucks is a welcome change. Good, hot loving wife story.

I don’t read Loving Wives and wouldn’t have read this story if not for you commenting in the AH as to why you write. I would agree with others who have said it’s in the wrong category. But I can see, with it being your first story and with it actually being about a loving wife, how you came to that decision. But I still wonder, as you’ve apparently read stories on this site, why you thought that LW was the place to put it?

If it was a story about a man and woman having sex I would have said Erotic Couplings. But it’s about a loving husband having a wonderful time with a wife who loves him. So there’s no doubt it should be in Romance ❤️ where it would have been much better received.

You have used first person narrative which comes over very well. It would have been a mistake, having made that decision, to introduce dialogue at any point. You are very descriptive and I wondered if you were ever going to run out of words. 🤔🙄😂 Most of the time I skip over the actual sex parts in a story and I actually have to force myself, but not always, to write the sex scenes in my own stories. However, I read everything because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to fully comment.

You got the tempo correct most of the time. I felt in this story the approach needed to be eager but relaxed and most of the time you succeeded. It’s getting the balance right between short and long sentences and when to use run on sentences and/or just a couple of words. It’s difficult. Certainly the use of short sentences, one after the other, in a story like this will make the reader begin reading the story faster which is the last thing you want. It wants to be as if they are reading it whilst having a nice, warm bath.

You could have used an editor, but I understand why you didn’t, because there are a few issues with the text. But not enough to spoil the story. You also need to give the reader time to take in what’s happening with one manoeuvre 😳 before hitting them with the next. As I’ve said before - relaxed.

You might like to consider asking for the story to be deleted from LW and then, after it’s gone from that category, a few days later submitting it in Romance. You would lose your current rating and comments (which I’m sure you won’t be bothered about) and it would be treated as a completely new story. There’s nothing to stop you doing that and I’m sure you’d like to see a more pleasing rating.

This story was originally put into the "Loving Wives" category. The readers in that category were kind enough to inform me that it didn't fit in there, and I moved it to "Erotic Couplings". I just thought I should put this comment in for anyone wondering what the other comments were about. Thanks for reading!