All Comments on 'Date with Little Sister'

I never really missed not having had a sister until reading this masterpiece! My cock grew hard and leaking and demanded to be relieved before the story was finished - and believe me - that's rare!!!!! I usually can read several of these fuck tales with nothing more than an erection - but my hard cock demanded to be relieved of a cupful of cum before the sister had a pussyful. Keep on writing, Ares 2009!!!!! You have a future in fuck lit!!

Yes, so HOT and very arousing. Yes, I had to take care of things too ..... obviously, they have go screw each other hard before the nights done. They both want it; especially his sister and they should do it well. They both know what the real history is and now with his former girlfriend "Nat" - he needs to push her out of his mind and who better to trust than his sister !! make it Hot and Hard for them. The following Saturday, they will need to repeat hopefully, to be sure. Thank you.

go on please

My date was with 16 yr old daughter, similar to this story. We fucked twice that night and the cum flowed uninterrupted from my cock DEEP up inside of her. Anyone wanting to chat about incest? I am canopus_i94 on Yahoo Messenger. Male or Female welcome.

Sometimes fake date with relative leads to more. It is a good thing and best revenge.

This pertains to the anonymous person who had the Gall and audacity to criticize a person telling a story it doesn't matter if it's their second or third or fourth language they wrote a story. I think that if you want to write a story that's perfect in every way shape and form then do it otherwise shut up and just enjoy.

And the reason I am Anonymous is for some odd reason my computer won't sign in as who I am.

N.D

Well written and sexy as hell! Nice job!

I enjoyed the the story, it reminded me of my own experience with my sister many years ago. Given that you say you had the story edited, I would suggest that you find a better editor though.

it was rough in some spots but the feelings and emotions between the characters were genuine.

but all over the place hard to follow

I am glad Ali used the situation to help her brother but more so to get him aroused, be playful and then made him push his cock between her legs. Ali already decided what she wanted and was very crafty to get her brother to finally screw her. She wants to suck him off and get screwed again is so hot. In the next chapter, I think Ali should be aggressive and get him to screw her hard, cum on her boobs or anywhere else like she wants; she's playful and just let him give it to her and they can go at it many times to enjoy what they couldn't do when they were younger. She has the hots for him and found a way to get what she always wabted. Thank you !!

If this is after, I'd hate to see what it looked like before.

Well I enjoyed reading the story, it was pretty good. Lots of distractions in it though... There were a LOT of missing words! People have already commented on the grammar issue, surprised nobody mentioned the missing words, hehe.

Hey, do guys still wear v-neck t-shirts? Lol. ...and nobody would say 'I dont do taboo things', hell nobody would use the word taboo when talking about incest in general. Nobody Ive met anyway.

....anyway just nitpicking about distractions! Thanks for the story!

Continue with this and let us know how Nat feels

This is a site for 'ordinary people' to get their stories into the public domain. You are not prefessional writers, but doing it because you want to. Why people enjoy criticising the spelling, grammar or wrong/missing words I just don't understand. Enjoy the story, or shut up !

Anyway, moving swiftly on - I really enjoyed it, I do hope there will be a chapter 2 soon ?

... but only because of the grammar. 'Nuff said about that. Good story, and please continue to the next chapter.

to me it seemed a bit stiff. Try reading it backwards and you might find a better flow

I liked the Idea put forth and bravo for posting

But in the end it is your tale and you tell it your way

Some confusing points

1) Is/was Ali a virgin? She spoke like this was a first date. Also, do you could his cumming between her "chubby thighs" as fucking?

2) Ali told Bitch Nat that she and Brandon had been dating on and off for a year. Is this correct.

3) Will Ali and Brandon continue dating?

4) Brandon and Nat had dated almost 2 years. Hadn't Ali and Nat ever met?

Hope Brandon and Ali will continue.

Re ad the story again. And enjoyed it even more.

O wish you would continue the series.

They planned on making love more

The story was great, but it needs even better editing. In one place, a paragraph is copied. One comment had a great idea of doing a chapter from Ali's POV. Please continue writing.88C8

This a beautiful story even second time around. I would love to read where this goes from here if they both want more.

Very well written. Nat's line about her not being a virgin when they met was absurd on her part, like that made it was ok to cheat.

Too short. More More. I loved it. You show me both partners feelings and thinking. Most don’t show anything except dicks and its thinking.

Write a second chapter, please

"Few" and "A Few" have different meanings. Few on its own means hardly any, a vanishingly small number. A few means a more than trivial amount. So please go through the story and make the change at virtually every point you use the word few.

Nothing earth shattering, in my groggy state this morning it took me a moment to realize that I had read the same thing twice.

I enjoyed the story. Thanks!

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"You don't have to rush, but remember that we have a long drive." I smirked reminding her without bothering to turn my head. Another 30 minutes later, Ali appeared from my bedroom, where she had been dressing. What an appearance... I bit my lip ogling the gorgeous woman who stood before my eyes.

"You don't have to rush, but remember that we have a long drive." I smirked reminding her without bothering to turn my head. Another 30 minutes later, Ali appeared from my bedroom, where she had been dressing. What an appearance... I bit my lip ogling the gorgeous woman who stood before my eyes.

You thanked an editor at the beginning. Choose a new one. Repeating paragraphs are not the sign of a good editor. And I'm not sure if English is your first language, but this story is filled with grammatical and usage errors that could have been avoided. Try harder, get an editor who knows how to read and write English and try again. It was a good concept for a story. But the grammar made it difficult to enjoy. Have a nice day.

Bro was too fucking stupid to be walking around unsupervised!

I thought the premise was good but I prefer stories where the girl IS actually innocent. I have noticed a trend in male written erotic literature where you can see the common male fantasy of the "woman" taking charge. In reality this doesn't often happen. Also, some of the descriptive language isn't the best however, it was still an interesting read. As for the comments of people not being professional writers, you'd actually be surprised to know that MANY popular professional writers have dabbed into erotic fiction, however, most do not dabble in illegal activities such as incest, which is illegal in all 50 US states regardless of age (marrying a first cousin isn't). However, because this is fiction, and does not portray nor illuminate violent acts with a minor and no one running the site (and trust me, the FBI Cybercrimes unit looks at sites like these to ensure that laws are followed) it is left alone. As someone that had a family member (female) raped by her brother, I sometimes find it disgusting that so many people are turned on by fantasies such as these. However, most people just use it as that--a fantasy and do not act upon it. And in most cases, if a man wanted to do something bad to his female sister, he COULD because of one simple word: dimorphism. Look that up for the word of the day.