All Comments on 'Daughter Joins the Fun Ch. 01'

Sorry everyone. I actually rewrote (amended) this story from my original and messed up Cindy and Shari at the beginning. I have sent in the correction and it should post in a day or two. Please continue with feedback. I have not determined how far I am going to go with this story or my writing.

Like the others, I was baffled as to who was whom right until Jody finds his daughter in bed with Shari. Then it starts to make sense.

You definitely need an editor to help you smooth out your story. The story itself is good, but as you are a novice it needs help. Literotica maintains a list of people who are available to help you edit your story. Contact as many of them as you can until you find at least one who will actually agree to edit your story. Follow their advice. And before you post your story, just after the age advisory, be sure to acknowledge them by name, as that is their reward for helping you.

but like the rest, a little confused. you appear to be a good writer - but ditto the comment you may want to find an editor.

Five loving stories, but a poor ending to number 5.

Maybe you will finish and show her love, but YOU DID NOT.

Cindy is OF LEGAL AGE, she has shown maturity, is a loving person, and you have almost "PUNISHED and TORMENTED" her by having loud, raucous sex with multiple partners in the room next to her. What and how do you think she feels?