Dave and Leroy Ch. 09

"Dave, Leroy, why have you come to see me today?"

Dave was the first to speak, "I love my partner, and I'm afraid that he is going to leave me because he doesn't realize how much I love him."

"Has he left before?"

"Yes, twice."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Devastated." Dave looked down at his hands. He had been twisting his rings.

"Why did he leave?" Dr. Watts didn't look at Leroy at all during this question and answer stage.

"First time, we were eighteen, and he thought he could find himself. He was hoping he wasn't gay or something like that, this last time, Leroy thinks he is a burden to me."

"Why do you think Leroy thinks he is a burden to you?"

"Because a lot has happened in this last year to Leroy and he is temporarily disabled. He feels he isn't contributing to our household, where I'm just happy that I have him still in my life."

"Are you hearing this, Leroy?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"Leroy, I gave your partner his time, I am now giving you your time." Dr. Watt turns towards Leroy. "Leroy, why did you leave when you were eighteen?"

"Honestly?" The Doctor nodded. "Not only to find myself, but I did also want to see if there was a possibility that I wasn't gay even though I knew wholeheartedly that I was. But I was always afraid that Dave was going to leave me." He looked over at Dave. "Hear me out, please." Because it looked like Dave was going to say something. "Dave, when we would go to the clubs just to be able to get out from under our family's watchful eyes so we could be together. You would look at the girls in the clubs, I always knew you were bi." Dave did look down at that moment. "I know you had your eye on me, but I had always noticed how you looked at Cindy. What killed me the most was that it's who you ended up with when I did leave."

"I'm sorry, Leroy. I didn't know you noticed that you know I only have eyes for you now, yes I think when I was younger, I was bi or tried to be, but I am and will always be only yours."

"But you even married her, which is another reason I didn't want to come home after I graduated boot camp and started my training. Aaron begged me to come for his graduation, and that was the only reason I came back. I stayed in the house all the time. I didn't want anyone to know I was in town. Mom asked me to take Chris over to a friend's house that day you pulled me over, that wonderful day, Dave. I'm so glad fate intervened because I was so miserable without you. I couldn't even bring myself to date anyone else Dave, I tried, I never told you this, I tried to have sex with a guy that I met and when it came down to it, I couldn't. All I could think about was you, and I couldn't even get it up for the guy. Then getting pulled over by you that day, inside I was screaming I was so happy to see you, but I didn't show it on the outside, even with you begging me to see you when you got out of work that night, I didn't want you to realize how bad I wanted you."

They both forgot the Doctor was even there. "But you left me again, Leroy."

"And I was miserable the whole time, the only way I could go to sleep at night was to cry myself to sleep. I missed you so much, Dave. I was feeling bad for myself, plain and simple. I wholeheartedly believed that I was a burden to you, I felt and still feel like one. The seizures were keeping me from feeling like a man that could take care of you. And don't say it, I know you can take damn good care of yourself, but I liked the fact that I could do it too. Before this tumor, I was working, and I helped support our household. Now..." Leroy stopped for a minute, to rein in his emotions. "Now, I'm medically retired, yeah I have what the military gives me every month and I know it's more than enough but I'm not working and I hate it. I can't drive, and I know that will change the longer I don't have a seizure. But I hate it, I hate my life, it hurts me every time I look in either yours or one of my family's eyes and see the pity there."

"It's not pity, we love you, Leroy, we hate that we can't do anything to help you. I hate seeing my Baby hurting. I wish the tumor never happened, I wish so much that you could go back to doing the things you love, but it did happen Babe. I know you don't like the idea of me taking care of you, but Leroy, when we went through the commitment ceremony almost eight years ago, we said in sickness and in health until death do we part. I don't want the death any time soon, but I love you, Leroy, and I will take care of you if you would just let me."

"Could you handle that, Leroy?" The Doctor asked.

"I haven't handled it well so far."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not used to anyone taking care of me. I have always taken care of myself, even since a young age, I've helped take care of all my younger siblings. I have never been without a job since I turned sixteen, and it really sucks to be medically retired. I loved being a Marine, and I can't do that anymore."

"But isn't the slogan, 'Once a Marine, always a Marine.'" The Doctor asked.

"Yes, but it was taken from me sooner than I wanted it to be." Leroy hung his head.

"Is it taken from any Marine that is injured?"

"I wasn't injured. I had a fucking tumor, a tumor the size of a marble, and it fucked up my life." Dave was looking at Leroy, he didn't know it had affected him this bad. "I think I could have handled being shot or losing a limb if it was in the line of duty, but this was just a fucked up thing that pulled me out of my job and my life before I was ready."

"You talked about fate earlier, the day that you were pulled over by Dave after you left for the Marines. Have you ever thought that this could've been fate too? Maybe it was a way to get you out of the Marines to be around for Dave, so you didn't get injured or killed? How often were you deployed?"

"More often than Dave would like, and I also hated it."

"Why, when you say you love being a Marine?"

Leroy chuckled. It was the first time in a very long time that Dave had even heard Leroy remotely laugh. "I guess I was in a catch-twenty-two, I love being a Marine, but I hated being deployed because I was away from Dave."

"Leroy, I'm sending you home this week with some homework. Next week, Dave will not be able to stay in your individual session. I didn't tell Dave and you, your time was up, because you were opening up to one another, and I could see in Dave expressions that he didn't know everything that was going through your mind."

"We've been here two hours?" Leroy asked.

"Yes, see when you two actually communicate, time can go by. Leroy, I need you to sit down and list out the good and the bad of what this tumor has done to you. Can you do that for me?"

"I guess I never really thought about anything good about it."

"You just stated something good. You aren't being deployed anymore, you're home with Dave." Leroy nodded. "Now for the couple's side of it, I would like you two to try to communicate more this week. I really think you two need to discuss the first time that Leroy decided to leave. Yes, it was for a career in a way, but there are underlining things there, and Cindy seemed to be a big factor, or maybe it wasn't, but she fits in there somewhere." He looked at Dave and Leroy. "I would like to hear a little about what you two discuss, please write a few things down that seem to bother you more than most items you discuss. I will see you next week."

Dave and Leroy thanked the Doctor and left after making their appointments for the following Friday. They walked out to the car, not speaking to one another when they reached the car, Dave turned around and stopped Leroy. "I love you, Leroy. I want you always in my life; I don't want anything to come between us." He hugged Leroy. "Leroy, I want you to move back into our bedroom, on one condition, though." Dave smiled when he pulled back out of the hug.

"What is the condition?" Leroy asked, he wasn't smiling, but he was happy that Dave asked him back into their bedroom.

"You have to shave, I love your body hair, but I don't like the beard and mustache."

Leroy chuckled. "Consider it done, I love you, Dave."

"Leroy, I want you back in my arms, but you're still in the doghouse, we will not be making love."

"I understand Dave, I know I have to earn your trust back. I'm just happy that you are letting me."

They drove home, and Dave pushed Leroy off to the bathroom to shave. "Okay, okay, I'll shave. I was kind of getting used to it." He chuckled he was lying, of course, Leroy just didn't have the oomph to or want to do anything since he has been home. When Dave would leave for work, he would just sit on the couch or lay in the bed, his family didn't come over at all, he was wondering if they were mad at him.

Dave followed him in the bathroom and sat on the vanity while Leroy used the clippers first to trim most of the beard and mustache off then he put a longer gage on the clippers and ran it through his hair. He pulled out his razor and shaving cream. Dave pulled him over so he could shave Leroy, "Mmmm, you haven't done this for me in a long time."

Dave got a washcloth, soaked it in warm water, and wet Leroy's face with it. Then he sprayed some shaving cream in his hand and spread it over Leroy's cheeks, chin and upper lip. Dave started to shave Leroy, Leroy couldn't help but smile. "You need to stop smiling, I don't want to cut you." Leroy leaned in and kissed Dave, leaving Dave covered in shaving cream. "Really." Leroy laughed. Dave started to shave him again, and Leroy stopped smirking so he wouldn't accidentally get cut.

When Dave finished shaving Leroy, Dave was completely erect, he couldn't believe how turned on he was. Dave knew Leroy was too because he had humped his knee a few times. But Dave knows he can't give in to the urge or Leroy will not learn his lesson and may keep hurting Dave by leaving. Leroy could tell that Dave was overthinking and took the opportunity to lean in for another kiss.

"Leroy...." Dave had to push him away. "I have let you move back into the bedroom, but please don't break my resolve about not making love to you. Please."

"Sex?"

"No sex either, that is still making love. Anyways, Leroy, we've got homework we need to discuss."

"Yeah, I know, can we go and have some lunch first before we dive into that can of worms?"

"That's fine Babe, I didn't realize it bugged you as much as it seems."

"I thought it was water under the bridge until we were asked about it. But it's okay, Dave. Not to change the subject, though, but have you heard anything from my family?"

"Yeah, I have talked to Aaron and Jeff every day this week."

"Oh, okay, I was just wondering."

"No one has called you since you have been home, Leroy?"

"No, they haven't, I'm just sure they are busy or upset with me. It's okay, I was just wondering. Let's get out of here and have some lunch."

Dave and Leroy had a good afternoon, they ate and enjoyed themselves, Dave did wonder why no one has contacted Leroy. Dave decided the next time he talked to one of his brothers, he would ask them about it. They mutually agreed to work on their homework over the following days because they didn't want to broach the subject to ruin the good moods they were in.

That night they were watching TV while snuggling on the couch, when Dave wanted to go to bed, he pulled Leroy up, and they headed to the bedroom. Both undressed down to their agreed boxers, they usually wouldn't be wearing them, but Dave reminded Leroy there will be no hanky panky for a while. Dave allowed Leroy to spoon him. This was the first night that Leroy didn't cry himself to sleep, he was happy to be holding Dave again. Leroy was glad he didn't screw up too badly, that he didn't lose his love forever.

Saturday was unusual, they both slept later than normal. When Dave woke, he almost made the mistake of pushing his ass back on Leroy's erection. But Dave caught himself and got out of bed. When he looked over at the clock, it shocked him. Dave only had an hour before he needed to leave for work, so he grabbed his stuff and went to the bathroom to shower.

Leroy woke when he heard the shower, he stretched and went into the bathroom, he took his boxers off and got in the shower behind Dave and put his arms around him. "Hey," Dave said when Leroy hugged him.

"Morning, Honey."

"It isn't morning, it's early afternoon."

Leroy looked at his watch. "That sucks. I was hoping to spend some time with you this morning, guess I'm going to have to wait until you get home. I can't believe we slept so long, don't get me wrong it was really nice, I haven't slept that well in a long time."

"Yes, it was nice." Dave smiled at Leroy and continued to clean himself so he could get out of the shower.

Leroy pulled him back into a hug. "Can you call in tonight?"

"Leroy I would love to, but I really need to go in tonight. I will be off again in a few more days, and you will see me just a bit after midnight." He finished up and exited the shower to get dressed, Leroy finished washing and went into the bedroom to grab clothes.

Dave didn't have time to eat, so Leroy made him a sandwich to take and asked if he was coming home for dinner or wanted him to pack something. Dave said he didn't know and if not, he would pick something up. When Dave left for work, he immediately called Aaron.

"Hey, Aaron, how are you doing?"

"Good Dave, what's up?"

"Why hasn't anyone called Leroy since he has been home?"

"We didn't want to interrupt your time together, and then some of us are still a little upset with him and how he just left you. I should have called him, but I don't know why I haven't either." Aaron stated.

"I was just wondering because he is worrying why no one has contacted him."

"Dave, we love Leroy, I'll stop over there tonight, I should've already. I'm sorry that he feels that way."

"Just don't mention that I asked, okay."

"I won't have a good shift."

Dave went to work, and Aaron called Jeff to see if Jeff wanted to go and hang with Leroy, Jeff told him sure and they made plans just to stop over with a pizza in hand. A few hours later, Aaron and Jeff showed up at Leroy's.

"What are you doing here?" Leroy asked.

"We thought we would come and see our big brother and see how you and Dave are doing?" Aaron stated.

"Dave, call you?"

"No, Leroy."

"Yeah, Dave called you, if you two really don't want to be here, you can leave, I have noticed not one of you have called or come by since I have been home."

"It's not that Leroy, we wanted to give Dave and you some space," Jeff responded.

"Yeah, whatever." Leroy walked out of the living room and headed to the family room, they followed.

"Leroy, you didn't talk to us that night we brought you home, I will be honest, I was mad at you." Leroy looked at Jeff. "You up and left us, you didn't even consider us, you were selfish. You wanted to destroy yourself and not let anyone help you out of your problems. You destroyed Dave, Leroy. Dave hid quite well what he went through this past month from you, but you didn't see the Dave that was beside himself, worrying about you. He thought he wasn't good enough to help you, Leroy, that you didn't love him as much as he did you." Aaron was trying to get Jeff to shut up, he could see that it was hurting Leroy to hear this, he didn't want him to shut down. "How do you expect us as your family to react? You said maybe five words to me that night. You don't think we aren't mad at you Leroy? We called everywhere looking for you during that month when you finally showed up at Aunt Stella's. I'm glad that Aaron called her to ask, or we wouldn't have been able to send Aaron to get you."

Leroy had long since sat down and was quietly saying he was sorry over and over, during Jeff's tirade. Jeff finally looked at Leroy and saw that he was broken, he didn't see it that night they brought him home. "Leroy, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not worth spending time with, it's okay to be mad at me. When you are over it come back, but get out of my house now, please." Leroy got up, walked into the bedroom, shut the door, and cried.

Jeff looked at Aaron, "I tried to stop you."

"Is he okay?"

"I told you he is broken, Jeff. I told you that I didn't think Leroy could handle much right now, and you go and rant on him."

"He needs to hear what he put us through this past month too, I'm sure Dave didn't tell him what he was going through."

"Dave may or may not have told him, we don't know, because we've been keeping our distance from Dave and Leroy. Anyways, why don't you leave, I'm going to see if I can get Leroy to come

out." Jeff nodded but followed Aaron down to Leroy's room, knocked and opened the door. They could see he was crying.

"Just go, please," Leroy said as he turned away from them.

Aaron shut the door and ushered Jeff back down the hall, they didn't leave, they sat down in the family room and waited for Leroy to come back out, they waited a few hours. Dave came home for dinner and saw them sitting there. "Hey, what's going on, where's Leroy?"

"To be honest, Jeff went off on him, and Leroy has been hiding in his room."

"Shit, and I just got him talking." Dave's mood went down, he looked at Jeff and shook his head. "I hope he doesn't turn back in on himself.

"Sorry, Dave, I just wanted to tell him he hurt everyone and especially you when he left. Did you get him into counseling yet?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah, our first two sessions were yesterday. Let me look in on Leroy." Dave went down the hall and into the bedroom, Leroy was still laying on the bed. His eyes were open, but they had the glazed over look like he just had a seizure. Dave walked over to him and called out his name when that brought no reaction he sat down and touched Leroy and sure enough Leroy had had a seizure. Leroy started blinking and focusing in on Dave. "Hey, Sweetie."

Leroy when he finally focused on Dave, more tears came to his eyes and all he said before hugging Dave around the waist was that he was sorry. Dave was trying to soothe him. Aaron and Jeff could hear him crying again since the door was open, and Aaron just looked at Jeff. "I should have come alone, I knew he was fragile right now."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize," Jeff responded.

"Leroy, it's okay. I love you, did you eat anything today?" Leroy shook his head. "Come on, get up, and I will make us some sandwiches before my break is over."

Leroy got up and followed Dave out of the bedroom. He wasn't expecting to see his brothers still there, so it surprised him when he turned the corner, and he stopped. Dave looked back at him and then over at his brothers, and Leroy looked like he wanted to turn back around. "Oh no, you don't Leroy, you need something to eat, did you take your medicine today?" Again Leroy didn't speak, he shook his head. "OKAY, well, let's get that into you, and I will turn the numbers back to zero."

Hearing turning the numbers back to zero made Aaron and Jeff feel bad. They knew they were the cause of Leroy having a seizure and were sitting in the other room while he was in a daze for God knows how long. Dave had bought one of those counting calendars, like so many days before Christmas or whatever. Dave used it for calculating how many days since Leroy's last seizure, it had been on fifty-five days. Leroy had sworn up and down that he didn't have a seizure the entire time he was gone. Leroy only needed to make it over ninety, and he would be able to drive, now he is back at zero.

Leroy walks over to the cupboard where he keeps his meds, takes the bottles out, gets one of each, grabs a glass of water, and takes them. Then he heads to the fridge to start making Dave something quick for dinner. He just made him two ham sandwiches and opened a bag of chips and sat down at the table, he still hadn't talked. "Leroy, why didn't you make yourself something?" Leroy just stood up, grabbed two slices of bread, some ham, and sat back down. He didn't put any condiments on or lettuce and tomato like he did Dave's. Dave decided not to say anything and ate, he didn't have too long before he had to leave.