All Comments on 'Dawn In The Dark Ch. 04'

5* Loved it.

You told the story so well, leaving us wondering at the end of chapter three what had happened and only gradually feeding us bits and snippets of the accident and the aftermath. I loved the fact that Dawn was a faithful wife and even better when you revealed she was based on a real person and circumstances. Just because a woman is beautiful and well put together, does not mean she is one who puts it about when her husband is in a bad way. Some loving wife stories can be really boring I guess, but this one was far from that because it was not just about a husband and wife have a sexual interlude whilst professing their love for each other, but was a real story with some serious trials amongst the good times.

You did a good job of using Annabelle as an example to show we should not judge a book by its cover to use an old phrase. She was a bit of a slut, but at least to Dawn was a wonderful friend and helped her selflessly in many ways. I don't really care for women like Annabelle, but because of how you developed her character, when you write about her, will read the story. You must know that when I do, my hopes will be that she finds Mr. right, and settles down with one good man forsaking her wanton past.

I really enjoyed reading it, five stars.

Both my wife and I have been following this one avidly. She got to it first and there were tears streaming down her cheeks before the end of it!

Okay, I'm a guy, so I din't actually cry. But I came close to it!

Beautiful story! Beautiful ending. Beautiful writing. You've got two VERY big fans here, Gale!

You made quite an impression on me! I'll have to read everything of yours, now!

Well-written (a couple of editting errors notwithstanding) and a nice story. However, there are things in it which seemed a little rushed. Why go into the character of Anna in earlier installments: her swinging lifestyle, her predatory demeanor vis a vis Dawn's hubby, her turning hubby onto LW fantasies, etc.; and then just reverse course with her all of a sudden? Another commentor in an earlier chapter noted the interesting issue of a lot of the business assets being in Dawn's individual account, and then that potentially interesting plot device was allowed to shrivel on the vine.

The attempted rape scene made no sense. It was girl's night in at Dawn's house. Anna stays the night after drinking too much-it wasn't planned. How the hell did Anna's hubby get into Dawn's house without his wife knowing? How did he think it was all going to play out, sneaking into Dawn's bed and attempting to seduce her with his wife in the next room? His behavior made no sense. I stated in a comment earlier in this series that you write women very well. You may need some more work on writing men. No man will maintain an erection after having his balls squeezed with evil intent.

Finally, if I look at all four chapters, what I'm struck by is the lack of cohesion. The first chapter is about a hubby and wife having it out over past lovers. The second is about wife-sharing fantasies, and the third is about a couple learning to accept each other's kinks. Then this fourth chapter just sort of leaves all that to the side, and goes in a completely different direction. For all practical purposes, this chapter could have been a nice little stand-alone story.

I'm glad for your friend and all, but I can't give this story full marks. Keep writing.

I said in previous chapters, I was afraid this would turn out to be a willing cuckold story so I would reserving my vote until the end.

The end was extremely touching, emotional, and a triumph for all who believe in their wedding vows.

My only regret is that I can not give this story more than 5*. I have already scored this chapter and will now go back and score all the chapters accordingly.

Thanks for this story and please say hi to the real life couple for me.

And you’re quite correct BTTap, I did rush it. There were meant to be other plot developments that were planned to take it to at least six chapters. However, the emergency relief service that I work for was about to send me to one of the current ‘hotspots’ and I didn’t want to leave the readers – who’ve been kind about this story – hanging. As it happens, the mission was cancelled and I’m rather glad (I’ve spent enough time in recent years trying to help the injured and unfortunate while bullets were flying and explosions disturbing my concentration!)

Instead, my partner has arranged an extended holiday in my birth place – New Zealand (I’ve not been back since I was very young) – so I don’t think There’ll be much chance to write for the next few weeks.

Thanks to all those who commented and voted. I was glad to see such a positive response to a story of a genuinely ‘loving wife,’ and I hope I’ll be able to get back to writing soon.

Gale82

No cuckold here. Great story of love and compassion. 5 stars

Gale, thank you for a very good heartwarming story. Have a great time in NZ I have family in Christchurch, NZ and a few other places around both islands so I know how nice the country is. Anyway, the story was a very good read and yes Dawn is a true loving faithful wife, not many stories have those kind of wives in this site do they? And if it is based on a true story then even better. 5 stars all the way from me. Thanks again.

JD

A story on Literotica that brought tears to my eyes? Outstanding! Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story and reminding readers that true love makes for the most erotic tales.

and I had to comment. That was just superb! Every chapter was teasing - and the resolution was just perfect. Wonderful writing!

I loved this story. Thank you so much for resisting the pattern of tying all loose ends up neatly. Life doesn't work that way, and this story therefore requires no suspension of disbelief. I'm going to remember to re-read this one after time passes.

which I loved, I read some of your stories in this section. Some of them, I didn't like very much (even though they were all well-written) and I was worried about where this one was headed - but in the end it was superb and very moving. Please write some more like this.

I'm putting this here because it's a story that holds a certain 'resonance' for me.

Gale82 was a dear friend of myself and my family but, I'm extremely sorry to say, she passed away in February of this year.

As well as being a good writer, she was an exceptionally brave, caring and beautiful lady who ought to have had many years ahead of her. I feel privileged to have known her and to have been able to call her my friend.

Michfren

A very good well written story. Great series, believable characters, well done.

Thanks for the heads up.I was seriously thinking of sending her a direct message through LIT., regarding no new submissions from her, for almost 3 years now.

Now I know the truth, really heartbreaking news. A big loss, not just for Lit. & Gale82 fans but also for everyone who would have been lucky enough to have enjoyed her company, as a friend,a companion or a relative. No enemies,I can be certain of that. Her writing clearly proves that. A woman full of love & integrity.

Immortalized. In the hearts & memories of all your fans. You were amongst the best.

you needed to connect these chapters better. This last one has very little to do with the first ones and the fantasy role play. I can imagine that you were trying to show that even though they flirted with fantasies, they were 100% committed to each other.

...and she's wonderful. Comments often seem longer than the story being reviewed, but that's because they can't hope to compete with your skill in telling the story. Sex is powerful and imperative but it can't compete with the ineffable quality of love. Many more tales like this and I'll be using tissues while reading here for a completely different reason. Well done, Gale.

Ended much better than I thought possible after previous chapters. Great effort.

This was an excellent story, your story telling skills are among the best it's been my pleasure to read in here.

It's a shame we can't rate this wonderful story. A real loving wife

Great story. Lovely ending. Scary sex assault and attempted rape scene. Author is amazing. Maybe not at the level of Rehnquist but truly and extraordinary writer in the top fraction of a percentile of authors on this site. Can kind of understand why she didn't report the sexual assault and attempted rape: (a) since Morton had close ties to their company in the past, coukd be really damaging publicity with stark economic consequences, (b) Morton was Harry's best friend before the split and Harry was in a near life-deatg struggle to be able to walk and function again after yet more surgeries, (c) Harry was due back in a week, she doesn't want to deal with anything beyond seeing her true love back at home, and (d) with Harry's homecoming rapidly approaching, the last thing she wants him to have to deal with is finding out how much of a monster Morton, his former friend, is and what he tried to do to Harry's wife, and (e) she doesn't want Harry to seek revenge on Morton, she wants Harry to heal. Still not sure if I woukd be pissed if I was the husband and fought out wasn't told later. Of course forgivable but first reaction woukd be why not get justice? But I guess I can understand the tough spot she was in. So many topics covered in four short chapters. Really well written. Dawn is one of the best true loving wives on this site, and while I wasn't a fan of Harry in Chapter 1, I grew to like him with time, in part because he made Dawn happy, but also he genuinely seems like a decent guy, despite the infidelity with a hooker on his bachelor party stag night (not cool).

5/5 again!