All Comments on 'Dawn over Sun Valley Ch. 01'

I flat out giggled at the, "or maybe he was just horny," line. Excellent balance of sweetness, humor, and desire. Well done!

-Itzy

Loved your first chapter. Very sweet and well written.

This was simply wonderful. Interesting characters, good pacing, great setup and fun dialog. My only complaint would be it was too small a chunk of the story. But given the contest, I can understand that smaller iterations migt make for better output. Good luck!

I am left thinking that there is a lot more to know about both of them. If nothing else, I need to know how Leanne made it to 23 and never been kissed.

Knowing you are in a sort of race with the calender adds a little extra anticipation for some reason. Is it weird to want to see the word count so we would know how close to your goal you are? Strange thoughts.

Definitely looking forward to the next chapter! Thanks

So far, so great! You've left me wanting to know more about both characters, while not having to employ some sort of cliffhanger to enhance the story. I look forward to the next chapter.

Great story line that allows your writing to expand any way you want.

Superb talent all the way around.

BRAVO!!

Delicious! Can't wait for more.... Well done!

Good start, great characterisation, more please!

Enjoyed it immensely. Looking forward to ensuing chapters.

such lovely reception! thank you so much, guys! :)

@Itzy - aww... thank you my dear! xoxo

@anon 'lovely' - glad you liked :)

@ResidentWeavil - ch. 01 was ~6500 words, ch. 02 will be a little longer, and i plan to submit it tomorrow. it is already written but needs another quick read just to make sure i hadn't missed anything huge. as for 23 and never kissed - yes there's solid reasons there.. :)

@MysteryMan196 - thanks! hope not to disappoint

@anon 'awesome' and 'delicious' - thank you so much! i was kind of nerveous about writing vanilla romance since all my previous stories, while certainly romantic, had been under BDSM and/or Group Sex categories. it is reassuring to hear i had struck the right chord with this first chapter.

@LowlandChiel & @WindySwimming - thank you so much! hope the next chapters live up to it :)

thanks all again for the wonderful feedback, votes and favorites - keep 'em coming! i need the extra motivation to carry me through this crazy challenege... :D

xoxo

small_town_girl / Anne A. Lois

Enjoyed it very much, has a "real" feel to it. Thank you

Great start to what appears to be a very good romance story. The characters are not one dimensional or too made up. The whole thing is well written and resonates with that touch of real life romance that makes for great reading. I look forward to reading more about these two.

tell us their story

involve us in who they are

...... . (so far we know he came in "early" with an agenda"

...... ..(almost nothing about her)

fill in the details as we go along so we care about them

without the gimmicks and short story tricks

and cliff hangers

please

You have me hooked already can't wait for next chapter. Wish I had found this when all posted. So frustrating having to wait.

Dear gods I can't wait for the next!!!!!

@harrist - thank you. i do strive for a sense of realism in my stories :)

@kjohns2001 - i hope to live up to your expectations... chapter 2 should be up today (i think)

@rightbank - no gimmicks, i promise. if any cliffhangers happen in this series it is because, as mentioned in my author's note, i'm writing this for the #NaNoWriMo challenge, and posting as i progress. some times, that could mean a break at a cliff-ish point. i hope you can forgive me this. the upside is, since i'm supposed to finish the whole novel within the month of November, you can be reasonably sure there won't be more than a few days' wait between installments :)

@Anon 'lovely' and Anon 'if this' - thank you both! chapter 2 was submitted on Thursday so i do hope it goes live sometime today. working hard on chapter 3 as we speak :)

xoxo

small_town_girl / Anne A. Lois

So this is where you are hiding. You can't escape me that easily :-)

STG at her lovely best, as usual...Annie, a lovely start and can't wait to read more. You rock with a keyboard xx

so romantic, (well i guess it is in the romance category) so much cute. I like their inner dialogue they've both going on. the way they're so similar and yet so different at the same time

Esther

My only complaint is that, no matter how innocent she is, he's not a complete moron.

The idea that he would not, at THE VERY LEAST, give her his number... well, it passes the realm of possibility and leaves disappointment in its wake :(

Still a 5 star story, because of the emotional impact and genuine story telling, but could I at least suggest that he give her his number and she warn that she will be really busy with her new job but maybe they could meet again - sometime?

Only an idiot wouldn't see that she is going to work at the same ranch he works at, so it's not like you are ruining any surprise for the next day when they meet at work...

Sorry to be so harsh, but it's those kind of details that are like the jet trails in the background sky above the 1800's period piece - they just jar me right out of the suspension of disbelief :/

J

@MJ - oh hi there! ~waves~

@Esther - thank you so very much!

@Anon 'close to perfect' - yes, great point. and you're right. i'll add it in the edits before this story is published as a whole book. thank you so much for your comment!

xoxo

Annie

small_town_girl / Anne A. Lois

between the romance and the story itself.

I am intrigued by the characters, defiantly by the princesse's lack of sex life not to mentioned that she had never being kissed before.... jungle girl raised by wolves??

I felt Joe's balls' pain at the end :-)

I could picture myself in the male role. I held back on the first night I met my wife, now of thirty-seven years. I know that slow start can still lead to a hot romance and lifetime fun for two.

I'll reserve full comments until the very last chapter is read but must say that so far it's quite gripping, that's praise by the way from me!!!

I have read the other comments so no need to go further for now.

M

In reading your dialogue, and others' who possess the same skill--the author of Aprons for Gayle comes immediately to mind--I've begun to recognize how important it is to maintain that sense of realism for the characters in a story. Having not read your other stories (that will change), I was not aware that you could write such naturalistic exchanges, and it's somewhat amusing to read your prose without feeling as if I need to alter the writing to suit what my own mind sees as natural speech. It's like the packaging might say, "Just Read, and Enjoy!"

I suppose that some just have a gift. Looking forward to reading the rest of this series, and others of your canon.

Great history.

I must admit that I have previously read "Christmas in Sun Valley", so I needed to read this series to understand some things I did not understand before.

If the author wrote this story at the speed indicated in his prologue, I can not imagine what he / she could write with enough time for it.

I know it's a story from last year, but for me it's new, and very explanatory.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet), is not my native language.

Big fan of yours, just awesome. I don't have the words to say how amazing the chapter is.

It definitely makes me want more.

As far as encounter with a stranger goes, this is pretty much the dreamier scenario. Very good. Chapter 2, here I come.

Too many stories spend too little time between in innocence and full on sexuality. I'm glad this is not one.

⭐⭐⭐

Perfect, now I want to read more.

Wow! Not my first read, but just amazing!