Deal With It

How To Deal With...

So, you've finally gotten your story posted on Literotica. First, my congratulations to you. For authors -- those who live for it, those who dabble, or those who are just testing the waters -- it's an accomplished feeling, right? If you're like me, you're never completely satisfied with how it turns out, but that finished project has a way of shining. Whether it's a diamond in the rough or a precious gem, it radiates with a pristine beauty that sometimes only you can see and appreciate.

Going into writing for anything, you undoubtedly have some expectations. You're dreaming of a 5 star rating, dozens of glowing comments praising you and your work, and countless people pressing that "Favorite" button. Unrealistic, perhaps, but I know I'm guilty as charged for dreaming just that. More often than not, however, you're going to have to deal with a few sour apples. More than likely, even more than a few.

There's never enough preparation for seeing what you perceive as a rejection to something you sometimes put your blood, sweat and tears into building. Melodramatic, maybe, but you spend innumerable hours growing and nurturing your story, polishing it to a gleam, that it becomes your baby. And what happens when someone makes the mistake of picking on your baby? You go fierce mama bear on their asses! (Or at least you fantasize about it... come on, admit it.)

It's one thing to experience rejection, though. How do you deal with it is the question.

***

Ratings: They can be so kind... and so, so cruel. The majority of views will not result in votes, as you may have already noticed while stalking your Current Submissions page. As you also may know, it only takes a few votes to have your rating rocketing into the stratosphere where you're rewarded with that coveted red H, or plummeting into the bowels of voting hell. Or, the most depressing of all, getting no votes and getting stuck with three X's. (Not the naughty kind.)

There can be several reasons that factor into a low rating. Is your story riddled with spelling and punctuation errors? Do your plot and/or characters develop smoothly and at a nice pace? Is your story in the right category? Is it too short? Too long? What is a too short or too long story? Or maybe your story is perfectly fine as is and you've prompted the green-eyed monster to pounce. That one's comforting but the most likely case if your story is great is that it simply doesn't rev that particular person's engine.

The sad truth is as follows: not everyone is going to love your story. The quicker you accept that, the quicker you'll be able to appreciate those that do.

There are steps you can take to improve your rating. If your story is riddled with errors, an editor is at your disposal. There are hundreds of capable and competent ones that you can peruse to your heart's content until you find one that clicks. If you're unsure of what category your story belongs in, you can ask for a recommendation in the Notes field of your submission, or simply read through each genre until you find one that fits. As for length... Well, I'm still working on figuring that one out but more on that later.

In closing, the ratings are a fickle mother. They will fluctuate, doing the hot 'n cold routine better than Katy Perry sang about, but there's always hope on the horizon that they will rise, rise, rise.

Favorites: If you've gone onto your Recent Activity page and seen that someone has favorited you or your story, then you know the sizzling excitement that comes with it. You know how proud you are that someone has taken such interest in you and your work. It's a powerful incentive to keep on writing more stories that are worthy of even more favorites. It becomes addicting (at least for me) and you keep up with the stalking, jonesing for another stroke to your ego.

The withdrawal to that is devastating.

Even worse, when a story you think is going to be bombarded by scores of favorites receives no such thing, the blow to your pride might just be irreparable. You start questioning whether it's good enough, wondering why it's not getting the recognition you believe it deserves. Then there's the flipside, when someone does favorite your story, then turns around and un-favorites it. Another blow to your pride, accompanied by a rusted lance piercing your heart, and something I've experienced quite a few times.

Know that some people simply choose not to favorite stories. Sometimes they're content with a vote or a comment or just reading your material is enough for them. Know also that, in the cases concerning the un-favoriting, there are times when they turn around and again favorite it. There have been several very good stories I've read that have had an abhorring lack of favorites but I've come to realize that they have no bearing on the quality of your work. Let it speak for itself and you'll find that you can appreciate the favorites you do receive all the more, but won't sweat it so much when you don't.

Comments: They have the power to make you feel ten feet tall, or two measly inches. It never fails to amaze me anytime someone lets me know how much my story touched them, or how emotionally involved they were right along with my characters. Those people have forever endeared themselves to me and I am eternally grateful for their kind words. Especially when they ask for more!

It also never ceases to amaze me how nasty some comments can get. Here's where word count can often come into play. I've written a couple of stories that are around 17,000 words and that's the length I'm most comfortable with on Lit. But in a couple of instances I've tried my hand at just a little over 1,000 words, and on one such occasion a person commented, saying a story that short should never be allowed to submit. I wanted to scream, "It's about quality, not quantity!" I didn't, wanting to be the bigger person and rise above it. But oh, did it rankle.

On another occasion, I was rereading one of my favorite stories on Lit., and I found myself browsing through some of the comments at the end. One stated that they had no idea why they'd read it, that it was a complete waste of their time. I found myself upset on the author's behalf. If they hadn't wanted to read it, then why did they? Why did they feel the need to post such a comment? Sometimes it seems as if they're intent only on inflicting as much emotional damage as possible, minimizing the glow of all the previous comments.

A lot of times an author will ask for constructive criticism, suggestions that will make their future projects better. A lot of times, the "constructive" gets taken out of it, and some people seem like they glory in tearing down your work. There's a lot of nitpicking, a lot of painful barbs that force you to retreat and lick your wounds.

Sure, you could strike back, plan a counterattack. But when you learn to let those few nasty comments roll off your back, it makes it that much sweeter when your followers rally in support of you.

***

So, my advice overall? Develop a thick skin. Condition yourself to view the negativity as motivation rather than a detriment. There is always going to be someone who reads your story and decides for whatever reason they don't like it. But do not, under any circumstances, allow a bad score or a scathing comment stop you from honing your craft. Keep at it, keep improving.

Most of all, believe in yourself, in your writing.

It's not always an easy feat to accomplish. You can't simply tell yourself to do or believe something and expect it to sink in and take root. It takes lots of time and tons of patience. The moral of this is to never back down, never give up. You're only cheating yourself if you do.

I'm still working at practicing what I preach and I hope you do, too.