All Comments on 'Dear Vickie Ch. 01'

This is a good start. Hopefully you will continue soon.

I agree, a good start.

a little short... attack the lenght and get with the story/tale

But you should have played a b it more with building tension.

for the curious:

http://storiesonline.net/s/70417

Hard to believe that the USAF would approve an experienced mid-level NonComm in Avionics (high-tech, long expensive training, some oversight of other techs) to cross-train to a basic skill outside the mission of the Air Force! Kinda like transferring an experienced Crime Lab chemist to a Beat Cop assignment! This suggests that either 'taking out' Bulls or, at least, using distance surveillance gear will come into play. Why not just be an Army sniper at the start of the story?

If she hazta cheat, a 'dick like a mule' is kinda easier to forgive than a needle-dick! "I was shocked, honey; before I could say I wasn't that kinda girl, I WAS!"

(Sorry! Just kidding! Please do not flame!)

3*

I read earlier on SOL. The story interesting value will be an law institute invest in the story, which could decrease financial loose in a divorce proceedings with children!!!

I offer this thing to other Consequence and Revenge story Authors!!!!!!!

Maybe that's why mom always liked him best. Then the clippers owner works for him and is his best friend. Would like to see more meat to the story and less name dropping. Stang and a few others have done that bit to death.

Fleshing this story out by adding more background info would be one way to go. Have the whore acting suspiciously for a while. Have your protagonist notice little things that make him uneasy. Build some tension.

Nice start, it's just a bit lean.

So he has a buddy checking up on him, a woman fucking behind unlocked doors, and stone cold emotion, or none on her part as she isn't part of the story yet. Leaves me cold, I don't care about sniper boy, or rat man, and I don't know her...Plus you can't write much as this was really short and didn't get far.

Wrong base of operations. Should have used Hurlburt Field or Pope.

Perhaps you know something some of our readers don't know! ;) Patrick AFB rather than a few others? :) Not a problem at all. It is an interesting start and I look forward to more.

semper fi holds true for all sevices, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks for sharing.

I first read this story on SOL, and page 2 of Chapter One is missing. I suggest you check it out, because this is an excellent story and no one should have to miss any of it.

With him stuck over in Afghanistan, not being able to really find out what's going on at home, would be a real ball buster.

I'll be looking forward to reading the next part.

Can a serving soldier (or airman) run a business in his own name?

Let's ee how it goes -

Yes.

So your hero is an Air Force sniper in Afghanistan? My two boy's were there...and Iraq. If you are going o write, make it believable. Recon and Scout (sniper). Oorah and Hoorah.... Marine and Army.

Semper Fi.

As part of USAF Security Forces they have Advanced Designated Marksmen. Usually tasked with counter sniper responsibilities in regards to protecting flightlines and base entry points, they also work with snipers from other services when manpower for tasked missions are required.

I'm hooked, have to see where it goes.