Death & Love Ch. 01

(Due to some comments I have decided to rewrite these stories, they will now be longer and more in depth. There will be some similar elements but I hope you like the changes)

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Is it worse to be told when you're going to die or if you're told you're going to die but you don't know when? When I was told I was going to die but didn't know when I was 16 years old, it was a subarachnoid haemorrhage, a brain disease that I inherited from my dad, the same thing killed him. The doctors told me that I would have a headache for the rest of my life, I would slowly lose my memory and motor functions and eventually die. Worst of all they didn't know when.

My name is Caleb Dawltry, I'm 20 years and I'm going to die. Soon after I was told of my condition I started to make a life for myself, I wrote for TV, namely crime series even wrote a few episodes of 'Taggart'. The money was good and I bought a small house, leaving home when I was 18. The next year my sister Billie followed me; after I had left the house she and our mother couldn't stand each other so she left to live with me. I had a great relationship with Billie, born 2 year after me I was extremely protective of her and barely let her out of my sight. She was a beautiful girl as well which meant she was always getting attention, some of the guys that liked her were, for lack of a better word, 'weird' so she used me to get rid of them. She would bring some 'weird' guy home and give me a sign, at which point she left the room and I played the protective big brother and freaked out the guy, they never bothered her again. It was easy to see why these guys liked Billie, she was very pretty, her long golden brown hair framed her face perfectly, her dark green eyes invited people in with warmth and innocent sexuality and her body was nigh on perfect, she wasn't one of those health freaks so her body was curvy, a very voluptuous figure. But the best thing about her was her personality, she was easily the kindest, sweetest person I knew, she would bend over backwards for her friends and couldn't stay mad at anyone, within a week of moving in with me she made peace with our mother. I always thought she was beautiful but never in a sexual way, that was until the summer of last year.

JUNE

I was on a break from writing so my best friend T.J. Gallagher was visiting to play some video games, I met T.J. through Billie when they dated in primary school. They broke up though and T.J. became a good friend of mine, he started dating my friend Jane, they've been together for 7 years and had a daughter just over two years ago. Despite having a kid T.J. was still a teen himself and found some form of stress relief when killing me in Call of Duty, he was shouting his usual 'Headshot Bitch' when Billie strolled through the room, she was wearing a black bikini to go swim in the pool outside. It was an old bikini so the top was a little too small for her breasts which I'll admit were rather large for a girl her age -- not like porn-star huge but a bit bigger than a handful. The bottoms were also a little tight for my liking, the back of them resemble a thong than anything else, she gave me and T.J. a cute little wave and neither of us could take our eyes off her.

"Holy shit Cay. When did Billie get so hot?"

"Right after you dumped her she realised her mistake and got hotter."

"Seriously man look at her, I may have made a mistake."

"Hey, don't talk about my sister like that, besides you have Jane and Katherine."

"Ok I do, but what about you, you broke up with Danni two months ago and you're living with a sexier Billie than I remember, how do you sleep at night?"

"Butt naked next to your mother."

"Fuck off Cay."

A few hours later T.J. left so I went to join Billie at the pool, she was lying face down on one of the chairs with her bikini clasp undone to sunbathe.

"Certainly caught you guy's attention huh?" Her voice was very warm and sweet, could melt the coldest of hearts.

"Don't flatter yourself sis, a guy will look at any girl in a bikini."

"That include you looking at me? I'm kidding, can you rub some lotion onto my back please?"

I thought nothing of it, I would normally rub Billie's back for her but after what T.J. said it was different today. I slowly stroked her shoulders and neck, moving down to gently caress her back then ever so slightly continue down until I stopped at the top of her ass, it was never anything important but today I swear I heard Billie let out a small pleasure moan when I touched her ass so I decided to move away but as I did I accidently grazed the sides of her breasts causing me to jump back.

"Something wrong Cay?"

"Um... No, just headaches."

"Ok, when your finished could move your dick away from my leg?"

I looked down in terror to see my very erect penis jabbing into the side of Billie's leg, she just giggled at my embarrassment.

"Billie I'm very sorry."

"Don't flatter yourself bro, a guy will look at any girl in a bikini. Hey look I was thinking of renting a movie tonight, want to join me?"

"Sure Billie, I'll see you inside."

I walked away leaving Billie to sunbathe, the only thing going through my mind was how much I hated T.J. right now. That night I settled down in the living room to watch a movie with Billie, she came in the room wearing a white tank top that was two sizes too small so I saw her deep purple bra and tops of her gorgeous breasts and a pair of Daisy Duke jean shorts. I felt my eyes stick and my jaw drop, surprisingly Billie just smiled.

"Trying to catch flies there Cay?"

"What? Sorry, it's just... wow."

"Cay, I'm up here."

In a surge of pain I grabbed my head.

"Christ, grab me some painkillers Billie."

To this day I have no idea if I knew this would happen or not but when Billie reached up to get the painkillers her jean shorts rode up exposing the bottom of her ass cheeks, they were bronzed and beautiful, again my jaw hit the floor but I composed myself before she turned around.

"Water as well?"

"Sure."

Billie turned on the tap but she did it too fast and the tap was too violent spraying water all over her before she calmed it down, she turned around to find a towel. Her top was almost completely see-through, through her top I could see her bra was very low-cut, as she used a nearby towel to dry her top her breasts bounced and jiggled. I've never fought harder to stop getting an erection. Billie poured the drink then gave it to me with the painkillers, she then walked over to the TV and DVD player and bent over to put the movie in. As she did I saw her ass cheeks again as well as the top of a pink thong peeking out the top of her shorts. I let out an audible gasp, Billie heard this so she turned her head and wiggled her ass.

"Like what you see?"

"What, I, just."

"Relax, you're a guy, I'm a girl and let's face it, I've got a great ass."

Hearing Billie talk about her great ass was one of the sexiest things I've ever heard. After putting the movie on she jumped up onto the sofa and sat next to me, leaning against me so we were in a position like a couple would be watching a movie together. The movie was some Rom-Com, it wasn't totally crap but I was more focused on Billie, she was in a perfect position that allowed me to peer down her top, with her low bra I swear I could see the top of her areolas. By the end of the movie it was getting late, Billie had fallen asleep so carefully I climbed over the arm of the sofa and placed a cushion under her head. Feeling cold myself I got a blanket out of a basket and placed it over her, she looked so sweet and innocent, I kissed her forehead and rubbed her softly, Billie stirred awake.

"Caleb?"

"Yeah?"

"Your hand's on my tit."

"Oh shit, sorry it's just.."

"It's fine Cay, I kindda liked it. Night bro."

I went upstairs to bed, that night was one of the toughest nights I ever had trying to sleep, and the first night that it wasn't my headaches.

The next morning I woke early, I was use to this as my headaches would normally wake me, I decided to take a quick shower and visit T.J. In the shower I couldn't stop thinking about Billie, it freaked me out because the stuff I was thinking of was downright disgusting. I had never thought about Billie in that way before but ever since yesterday when she waltzed through I can't help it, I quickly dropped those thoughts and grabbed a towel. As I left the bathroom I bumped into Billie who was waking up, she was wearing I nightie, it was almost see-through and very short, from behind you could actually see the bottom of her bare ass, it was still more than I had, I only had a towel wrapped around my waist. We both stared at each for what can only be described as far too long before we headed back to our rooms, I still couldn't put my finger on it, there was never any tension between us before but something had changed and neither of us knew what it was, all I knew was that I couldn't get Billie out of my head. At T.J.'s Jane answered the door holding Katherine.

"Caleb, hi."

"Hey Jane, hello Kathy."

"Say hello to uncle Caleb."

Katherine gargled something, she's only two so I could understand why.

"Tyler's just upstairs, he's getting dressed."

I should explain that Tyler is T.J.'s first name, it's been so long I've forgotten what the J stands for. Upstairs I found T.J. just finishing getting dressed.

"Cay, what brings you here?"

"Not much, gonna start writing soon so I need inspiration."

"Here's an idea, massacre at an orgy."

"You kiss your kid with that mouth."

"Listen seeing as your here I could use some help. I can't talk about it here, c'mon I'll take you to the shops."

At the shops T.J. told me his plan for the future and showed me what he wanted my help with, we walked into a shop and looked at the displays.

"You sure about this T?"

"I've been thinking about this for a while, I'm gonna do this Cay."

"So what you need my help for?"

"More moral support than anything, what about that one?"

"Too much money, not enough to it. I gotta ask what's it like being in love?"

"Ooh, has Caleb Dawltry found a new girl?"

"Please, the only girl in my life is Billie and I'm gonna keep it that way for a while. That one looks good, not too much and still looks good."

"Alright, that one. I'm gonna do it Cay, I'm gonna ask Jane to marry me."

The store owner handed T.J. the engagement ring and we headed back. He asked her by the end of the week and she said yes so loud I'm sure I heard her yelling from the house.

Over the next few weeks my mind drifted from T.J. and Jane and focussed again on Billie, it was almost torture, we would catch each other in various states of undress, she would go swimming a lot so I saw her in that tiny bikini and -- without trying to sound pervy -- with our rooms right next door I'm sure I heard Billie panting my name at night sounding fast and out of breath. Not that I could say anything more than once Billie popped into my head during weird times, but the weeks passed by, I wrote another Taggart episode using T.J. and Jane as inspiration and pretty soon the months changed.

JULY

Around this time Billie started getting a lot of party invites, being 18 and popular she would go to most of them but stayed behind to keep me company. This one night in the middle of July was different than usual, Billie was going to a party with a guy from her college, Vincent Moreno, who had taken a fancy on her. Just before picking her up Billie showed me her outfit. Bounding downstairs she spun round and asked what I thought but I could barely speak, it was a very sexy black dress, the neckline was low without revealing everything and the hem was just an inch too short for my liking but I wasn't her father so I couldn't object. Again being Billie she smiled at my gawking face.

"I'll take your silence to mean you like it."

"It's a very nice dress, although I would prefer if you wore a bra."

"Sure thing dad."

With that she bounded upstairs to get changed, I was also invited to the party but I didn't go to any, I've had a firsthand look at the fakery people show towards me and I've liked it. I'm not trying to sound all 'Catcher in the Rye' but I do prefer solitary to gather my thoughts and do more writing, other than Billie, T.J. and Jane amongst a few others I didn't really talk to people. Billie skipped down the stairs just as Vincent arrives in his car, Billie jumped into me and hugged me like there was no tomorrow but I let her.

"Love you bro."

"Love you too sis."

I kissed her on the head and watched as she ran over to Vincent and drive off, I watched some TV and wrote a few more scenes for another show, annoyingly my right hand started feeling numb and stiff, quite hard to hold things like that. The hours passed by and I was only aware of the time when Billie stormed into the house crying, Vincent was chasing after her but I stopped him coming in.

"What did you do?"

"Fuck all, I acted all nice to her then she acts like a frigid bitch."

I said before I'm very protective of Billie and I don't take kindly to her being called a bitch so without thinking I punched Vincent, I used my right hand which was still numb so I didn't feel anything which was probably a good thing because I broke the fucker's nose. Defeated Vincent scurried back to his car and I went upstairs to find Billie, she was sitting in the shower letting the water cascade down her and masking her tears, I sat down next to her -- it's a big shower -- and gently hugged her.

"He wanted to fuck me. I told him I didn't, not right now, he tried to force me."

"Shh, it's alright."

"I didn't want him to fuck me, I didn't want him to be my first."

I was surprised at her honesty, I never thought Billie was a virgin. I was too busy thinking about this to see Billie kiss me, it was a quick kiss but a kiss none the less. I couldn't speak, only stare at her, the water made her hair smoother as it ran down her, her dress became tighter showing off every curve on her fabulous body. Looking into my eyes with her beautiful greens she admitted to me.

"I wanted someone else to be my first, someone I love. I don't love anyone like you Cay."

Climbing on top of me she kissed me again, more passionate this time. Surprisingly I kissed her back, all that sexual tension I had for the past month, all those times I looked but didn't touch erupted from me. I stroked her silky legs and grabbed her firm ass, Billie pulled away from me to remove her dress, I didn't even see the point in telling her to put on a bra, this one was so small and so sheer that there wasn't any point to it. I seized the chance and kissed her breasts, pulling her bra down I sucked and licked her nipples driving Billie crazy, she was panting and moaning like never before. It was all going so well until I felt Billie's hand rummaging in my trousers and I realised what was happening, I pulled Billie's hand out and told her.

"Billie I can't do this."

"What." If Billie's normal voice can warm your heart her sad voice will bring you to your knees. "Why not, don't you like me?"

"Of course I like you, Billie you're the sweetest and most beautiful woman in the world, I love you but I can't do this, I care about you too much."

At these words Billie began crying, not even sobbing like earlier but actually crying, she held me tight and through her tears I heard her almost angrily tell me.

"I want this Cay, I've never loved another boy like you. I want you to be my first please Cay. I've see you looking at me and I know how you feel. I waited so long because I wanted to see if you just wanted to fuck me or if you wanted to love me like I love you, to be in a relationship. Everytime you saw me I did it on purpose, I left the bathroom door open for you to find me, I wore that bikini because I knew it was too small for me. I even made sure you heard me when I masturbated so you would know how I felt."

This shocking confession from Billie made everything that little bit clearer, I knew Billie loved me but I always thought it was a sisterly love.

"Billie, why me?"

"Because I'm going to lose you, you're going to die and I don't want that I want you and me to have connection, to be together in the strongest way possible before I lose you forever. Cay, if you won't have sex with me can you please stay with me, just hold me tonight."

Looking into those green eyes and I couldn't refuse her, that night we slept together in Billie's bed, we didn't have sex but I held her, gently but firm enough to let her know I wouldn't let her go. I didn't get much sleep but for the first time it wasn't because of my headaches.

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I hope you all enjoy these changes, I've taken the comments into account and perhaps made the story better. If the other parts haven't been deleted then ignore them and watch out for these new stories.