Deathbed Confessions

"Fuck me!"

I seethed for a few moments. I then put my phone back to my ear and asked my sister-in-law Amy, "Did she really invite Fuckface to meet with us at the hospice today?"

"Yes, Jim. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was adamant. I don't know why she wants to have him there today, but we might as well get it over with."

"Crap. Is she demanding that Susie be there too?"

"No, she said that a three year-old was too young to hear what she wanted to say today."

"Good. I'll drop Susie off with my parents on my way to the hospice. See you there in about 30 minutes."

When I pulled into the hospice parking lot, Amy got out of her car and walked over to me. I got out of mine and gave her a brief hug.

"God, this is so fucking hard."

"I know." She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Well, let's get this over with."

We entered the hospice and walked down to the nursing station. One of the nurses greeted us with a smile, "Hello, Mr. Johnson." She turned to Amy and said, "Hi, Dr. Allen. Your sister is having a good day today. She hasn't used her morphine pump much this afternoon. She's in her room with her friend, waiting for you two."

"Thanks, Cindy. I'm glad that the cancer is giving her a little break today."

We walked down the hall to Elaine's room. I looked at Amy and made a face. She put her hand on my cheek, and said, "It's going to be OK."

I nodded, and we entered the room.

The room was quiet and shady, with a broad window looking out over a lovely garden. We saw Elaine's pale and emaciated form lying in her bed. Trevor, looking as nondescript as usual, sat at her bedside. He stood up and offered his hand to me. I ignored him and walked over to the bed and said, "Hello, Elaine."

She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me down for a kiss, but I resisted. I squeezed her hand once, and then pulled my hand away. Amy and I sat down on the opposite side of the bed from Trevor.

Elaine said, "Thank you both for coming by today. I know that it is awkward having all four of us here, but I believe that we all want the same thing: to do what's right for our daughter Susie."

I said, "Susie is definitely my top priority right now." I inclined my head slightly toward Trevor, and added, "But why is Fuckface here?"

Elaine shook her head gently at me. "I'll get to that in a minute. I asked you guys to meet with us today for two reasons. First, you and Amy are my heroes. You have made possible the best parts of my life, and I need to thank you for that. Second, I have some last requests for you two."

She turned to Amy and said, "I can't imagine having a better big sister than you. I've looked up to you my entire life. You've supported me in endless ways, even when I didn't deserve it. I wouldn't even have Susie now if it weren't for you. When we were growing up, we both always looked forward to having kids. I was crushed when I heard that you had a uterine malformation that kept you from ever having kids of your own."

Amy grimaced and said, "Yeah, that was one of the low points of my life. It's the main reason why I went into OB/GYN and reproductive medicine. I hoped that while I was helping other women to get pregnant, maybe I could figure out a way to make it happen for me, too."

Elaine said, "I'm so glad that you did. When Jim and I had trouble getting pregnant, I was devastated. Thank you for supporting me through the infertility work-up, and then through the whole in-vitro fertilization process."

Amy said, "I'm glad that I could help you."

"Help me? It's more than that — you're my hero! You've also been a wonderful aunt to Susie. Dying is a lot easier for me knowing that you'll be there to love her and hold her when I'm gone. All I want to ask of you now is to keep on loving Susie, and to help Jim raise her to be as good a woman as you are."

Amy sniffled and took Elaine's hand. "Of course. I'll never stop loving Susie or helping Jim."

Elaine turned to me, and said, "That was the easy part. What I need to ask you is much harder. I know that my relationship with Trevor has hurt you terribly."

I gave her an exasperated look and said, "Yeah, you could say that. You wrecked my fucking life, and for what? I still don't know why you ever hooked up with him in the first place."

Elaine looked down at her lap. "Basically, I went a little nuts back then when we were trying so hard to conceive. Even though Amy said your sperm was just fine, I didn't completely believe her."

I looked over at Amy, who shrugged.

Elaine said, "I got pretty desperate and was willing to try anything. Trevor worked in the cubicle next to mine, and saw me crying one day during my lunch break."

She looked at Trevor and smiled, "Trevor was so sweet. He held my hand while I cried, and eventually I told him all about our fertility problems. We got to be pretty close friends over the next few months."

I snorted and rolled my eyes.

Elaine said, "I know it was irrational of me, but I thought that maybe there was a tiny chance that someone else's sperm could make it through my scarred fallopian tubes where yours couldn't. Trevor volunteered to help."

I glared at Trevor and then gave Elaine a look of utter disgust. "Yeah, I'll just bet he did. So, rather than relying on your sister's medical expertise, or asking for your husband's help, you went out and started boning Fuckface here."

Elaine's face crumpled. "You make it sound so sordid. At first, the sex was just a way to increase my chances of getting pregnant. But somewhere along the way, Trevor and I fell in love. It was amazing! At the darkest point in my life, I had two wonderful men loving me. I wanted to find some way to keep both of you!"

I said, "Why did you think I would ever stand for that?"

Elaine said, "I was afraid that you would divorce me when you found out. But you didn't! You became my hero for sticking with me through the whole damned IVF circus. And when I finally became pregnant, you were as excited as I was! "

I nodded. "I did think about divorce. But I wanted a child more than I wanted to dump you."

She said, "That's what convinced me that you still love me enough to ask you for one last big favor."

She took a deep breath, then let it out and said, "I know how much you love Susie. What I am asking you is to let Trevor also be part of her life. I want you to give him shared custody of Susie after I'm gone, so that both of my two amazing men can be in her life, and raise her to be a wonderful young woman."

I looked over at Fuckface. His face had lost its usual hint of smugness. He was now biting his lip, and looked anxious.

I wasn't expecting Elaine's request. I raised my eyebrows and glanced over at Amy, who seemed to be as surprised as I was.

Finally, I turned back to Elaine and said, "Naaah!"

Elaine said, "Thank you — wait! What?"

I said, "Naaah! No. Nope. Uh uh. Non. Nyet. No way. No fucking way. Not a goddamned chance. After you die there is no way I will ever let Fuckface here see my daughter."

Elaine looked aghast, and started crying. After a minute, she pulled herself together and sighed. "OK. I was hoping that you would be a bigger man than that. But you aren't giving me any choice. You ARE going to give Trevor shared custody!"

"And why is that?"

"Because, Jim, you are not Susie's father!"

I glared at her. "And why the fuck do you say that?"

Elaine looked at me with sad eyes, and said, "I didn't want to tell you this, but I wanted to have a child with each of my wonderful men. I convinced Amy to use Trevor's sperm for the IVF. I was going to use yours for a second IVF in a few years. However, cancer got in the way and now that's never going to happen."

I turned to Amy and raised my eyebrows. She nodded. "Yes, that's what she asked me to do."

Trevor turned to me, and said with a tiny smirk, "I'm sure that a DNA test will confirm my parental rights to Susie."

Amy said, "Actually, Trevor, a DNA test isn't going to do jack shit for you."

Trevor looked stunned. "Wh-why not?"

Amy said, "It's pretty simple. Elaine did try to convince me to use your sperm for the IVF. However, all she really convinced me of was what total pieces of shit you both are."

Amy turned back to her sister and said, "I've had your back all of your life. I covered for you when you trashed Dad's car, gave you antibiotics for that STD you got in college, and gave you a loan when you and Jim couldn't afford the IVF."

Elaine hung her head. "You're right, the IVF would never have happened without you."

Amy said, "Damned skippy it wouldn't. I was glad to help, because that's what sisters do for each other. But I drew the line when you asked me to betray Jim that way. That went way beyond selfish — it was evil!"

Elaine said, "So you didn't use Trevor's sperm sample?"

Amy snorted. "Hell, no! I threw it out with the other medical waste from our clinic. The only sperm involved in your IVF was Jim's!"

Elaine gasped, and then shrieked, "You bitch! Why would you do that to me?"

Amy sneered. "Why would you do that to Jim?"

Elaine struggled for words. "Well... well at least I have a child! I'm not a genetic dead-end like you!"

As the words left her mouth, Elaine looked at Amy with dismay. "Oh my god! Please forgive me! That was an awful thing to say."

Amy sighed. "Yes, it was, sweetie. It's a cruel thing to say to any childless woman. But it doesn't hurt me at all, because it's not true."

"What do you mean?"

Amy shook her head. "Because you are not Susie's mother."

"But that can't be! I was pregnant with her! I gave birth to her!"

"Yes, you did, sweetie. But the eggs that were combined with Jim's sperm were mine. I am Susie's biological mother. And at some suitable time after you're dead and buried, Jim and I will get married, and I will have the great pleasure of officially adopting my own daughter."

I looked at Elaine. "If you thought that I would ever willingly share you or my daughter with Fuckface, you're delusional."

"But why didn't you divorce me? Why did you go through the IVF with me?"

I shook my head. "When Amy told me that you asked her to switch my sperm with Fuckface's, I almost did throw you out of the house."

I turned toward Fuckface. "I also came pretty close to coming over and beating the living shit out of you."

Amy said, "I would have helped Jim with the beat-down. But, we weren't too wild about going to prison."

I turned to my dying wife. "Amy and I considered a lot of wild revenge fantasies before settling on a more fitting response to your treachery. We decided that neither you nor Fuckface were worthy of being parents together. But, we realized that you would make a great birth surrogate for us."

Amy said, "If that worked, we were hoping to use you to carry another child of ours. However, as you said, cancer, yadda yadda yadda."

Elaine seemed beside herself. "But what about my eggs? Did you throw them away too?"

With an edge in her voice, Amy said, "No, I didn't, but I came pretty damned close. They are currently safe and sound in our clinic freezer and labeled as an anonymous donation. Sooner or later one of my other patients will need an egg donor to become pregnant. If they want someone with your physical characteristics, we might give them your eggs. If so, you will never know about it and Trevor will never be a part of its life."

I faced Elaine. "For what it's worth, Amy and I were willing to spare you all of this angst and let you have a peaceful death. However, you forced our hand. Consider that an own-goal on your part."

Amy joined me. "I still love you, sweetie, despite all of the shitty things you've done. That's why Jim and I are going to give you a final opportunity to redeem yourself. You are going to die sometime in the next few weeks, and it is going to be really hard on Susie. We hope that you love her enough to make your last few days with her special and your passing easier for her to bear."

I took Amy's hand and then turned back to Elaine. "As Susie grows up, she will likely want to know more of the story of her birth. We could tell her the sad story of a selfish and deceitful slut who betrayed me. Or, we could tell the story of a brave sister, who helped me and Amy to have the child that we always wanted. I know which story I'd rather tell her."

Amy said, "So, dear heart, you talked about Jim and I being your heroes. What do you say? Would you like to be the hero this time? For Susie?"