All Comments on 'Deathbed Confessions'

Very good. I loved how the husband and sister turned the tables. I think when Susie is an adult, she should be told the full truth - that her Mother is really her aunt and was just a surrogate for her birth, and she's a lying cheating slut that is now worm food. As far as Trevor goes, most companies have anti-fraternization rules and Jim should have gone after them. Trevor hopefully lost his job, and his career suffered. I hope Amy's last days are filled with pain, anguish and remorse - and it only gets worse when she'll eventually start her eternal damnation.

Absolutely brilliant. A clever response to the deception and to deal with a complete narcissist.

Brilliant writing.

5/5

Sorry can't give you more.

Excellent twist in the tail.

Excellent story and an auspicious start here on Lit. I look forward to reading your next story,

Great story. Love it. AAAAAA+++++

%* A neat story, I really liked the way you developed twist after twist in so few words. Thank you for posting it.

Damn - Perfect score right out of the gate. Great narrative, unique plot lines and smashing finish. 5.0*

Oh Yeah.

Excellent, well written and thought out.

Wow! Burned them both, and Karma.

What is erotic in it to be in literotica? If a few f*** words are replaced by universal words, it is a good universal story.

Ooooh I'm so torn.

It was well written, with a nice twist. Though the legal and moral implications are...

I'm not quite sure who I'm supposed to root for in this story.

Wow

Five * for a well written, original story.

Wow. Very original. 5⭐

5*+ more of your writing please.

5 stars....knocked it right out of the park from the beginning. The only thing that would make it better is if he had taken out a large life insurance policy on her before the cancer. Lol

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Poetic justice! Loved it.

Didn’t see that coming.

Narcissism and cancer should be paired more often. D

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Excellent story.... Karma.

Wow, what a GREAT first story, loved it

Pretty good. Worth a 5*.

Excellent story and a monumental burn for the slut.

This was great! They really turned the tables on Elaine

Awesome justice! Two cheaters lose, happiness ahead for the other two.

Great work on your first story!

Unique -- I like unique; 5*

well written first story 4****

Good job done.

Just the right touch of BTB, even if they do sort of let her off the hook at the end. Looking forward to many more stories from this new author!

An interesting story with a neat twist. Well, two.

Excellent first story. Five stars

Wow! This was a great story with a coupleof twists added in. Perfect BTB and BTB on both sides of the fence.

Folks who enjoy a BTB tale will applaud, but seriously — unbelievable deathbed setting, unbelievable 1-dimensional characters with WTF/poorly crafted dialogue. Unimaginable storyline.

Well written with a great cross-up. 5* and thanks for participating in the event.

Great job, I liked the twists. The backstabbing and deceitfulness of Elaine, she is getting what she deserves. Thanks for sharing.

Wow, outstanding first story! New storyline, well presented. I join all the others in hoping you continue to write and contribute here in LW.

Gotta love the ol' double switcheroo. Even if it was unwittingly at least Elaine did one positive thing in her wretched life.great first story.

That was an interesting twist. Well written too.

Aint Karma a bitch.

Excellent debut!!

Original and brilliant -- well done you!

Got hers just in time. Karma is a bitch for the batch. 5

That was really good!! Funny, interesting, and philosophically provocative!!! A good combo. And why did I picture Trevor as balding, porn moustache, and plaid 70's sports jacket???

OK, so that was a new twist. What a great 1st story!!

Excellent story!!

Excellent first story! More please! *5*

It wasn't mentioned but I hope Jim and Amy fertilized her egg the natural way with a deep injection of fresh swimmers into her fertile womb.

It would be a huge temptation to visit every day to remind this evil bitch that the pain she's experiencing is just karma for her actions in the life she's soon to be departing. And Jim just can't wait for that day.

Wonder why Elaine thought Amy would do that to Jim.

Just think for a second if this story was written by the transsexual nutcase cagivagurl.... How this would have turned out

Very good!! Interesting, funny, and provocative!!! A good combo. Why did I picture Trevor as balding, porn moustache, wearing a 1970's plaid sports jacket??

Great first shot. I'd have had Trevor running for the exit right after the reveal thanking his lucky stars he wouldn't be saddled with 15 years of child support payments.

Damned Skippy, this is without a doubt one of the L.W. stories of all time. Keep up the good work. 10 *

Nice!

Cracking good story, especially for a first! You rode into LW at 90 miles per hour with your hair on fire!!!! Well done! I can wait to see what comes next!

well...that one came out of left field. not bad...have to round up to a 4.

Great story, loved the twists LOL….. Looks like Susie is going to have a good set of loving parents. This was a very good BTB! Thanks for writing. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well damn, it is great to see Karma finish the job.

This was a great story!

I as most of the people in comments hope you keep writing.

One of the things I truly enjoy is finding original ideas expressed in the story. I also enjoy double crossing the double crosser. And I couldn't find any technical flaws, which also makes my enjoyment of the story better. I rated 5 stars. Good job.

Really good first story but man was that cold-blooded!

Nice, easy 4* Great start. A tip is DO NOT rush into another story, take your time.

WELL PLAYED! 5 stars. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW. Aka sumnut9669

Brilliant!

-

Be well!

Great story with an unexpected wholesome ending.

Very nicely done. A great BTB with a terrific twist. Especially well done for a first timer. I like ok forward to future submissions.

Great first story! Can't wait for your next one!

A new original kind of double BTB, without physical violence but with the same impact. Geniale.

"Folks who enjoy a BTB tale will applaud, but seriously — unbelievable deathbed setting, unbelievable 1-dimensional characters with WTF/poorly crafted dialogue. Unimaginable storyline"

Agree, but just as the thousands totally unrealistic femdom-cuck tales in which the men are always behaving like retarded monkeys and, in the best case, the tale ends with an even more unbelievable RAAC. So, a little break, from time to time, having a little good BTB (even if no much realistic) is always welcome. This tale is another masterpiece for its funny non-violent and rightful originality.

Entertaining story, dude. The mechanics are sound, there was a beginning, middle and end, no POV switches, second person, present tense or any of that shit. Well done. The wife was a hilarious caricature, the husband was the hand of God, but in an entertaining way. I'll give entertainment five stars. Thanks for posting and welcome to LW, Randi.

Hey UpperNorthLeft…….oh the tangled web we weave. Loved your story. Please keep writing and contributing.. well done. Thanks

Really great story from a first time poster. Keep it up! Looking forward to your future efforts.

Nasty, nasty! It is sai that a person may repent and find forgiveness.... If that's a truth then the character, Elaine has that opportunity now.

Nice twisting tail (tale).

The only criticism I could dig up to assist you (and I almost know) - You went to great pains to throw some 'background' into the dialogue. I think you could have avoided that with a bit more thought and another 'twist' of your perverse mind.

Well written AND, to my knowledge, an original plot which seldom happens on Lit. Well done.

5 stars - this kind of revenge worked for me. I like this story.

Story ends with a question; here's the answer- NO! 'Selfish and deceitful sluts' would never do the right thing, even on their death bed. The only further contact between her and Susie should be by video. Ethics aside (doctor deceiving the patient?) it was an interesting story.

@HarryinVA. — spot on! Just today she posted yet another version of the “cuck takes back the evil bitch” story she seems to constantly churn out. What makes her stories so awful is that while being technically well written, she almost never lets her male punching bags win.

This kind of strikes me as the ultimate burn.

Awesome and short. 5*

Good story. Well-told.

Ed

Agree with absolute brilliance. Very, very few writers ever get a short story perfectly done, but you did. Please keep writing!

That was definitely a 5 star sneaky lol

Ricochet trick shot there pardner! Gonna have to give 5☆ for 'didn't see that coming!'

Interesting twist, well done!

Brilliant.

Unique story, proper outcome. However the daughter still needs to learn what a piece of shit her aunt is...

Great first story. Excellent job. Looking forward to read your next one.

Great job! A very satisfying and clever tale. 5 stars.

Cross, cross, double cross, triple cross!

Sehr interessante Geschichte mit einem sehr guten Ende. Vielen Dank!!!

Good story. Well written. Thank you very much.

Haha.

What a turnaround of events.

Did not expect that twist in the story.

Very good and nice job UpperNorthLeft.

A complete and masterful job of storytelling using relatively few words!

This is unquestionably a fine first effort (although I doubt the the author completely lacks previous writing 'experience').

My only reservation, not intended to diminish the story, concerns the characters -- I would not be comfortable with ANY of them out of sight behind my back.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Well done first story, unique and masterfully told! Waiting for your next submission.

Hmm, I like how you made clear that Jim and Amy were now a couple without stating so explicitly. Just one more thing for Elaine to think about while she lays there awaiting death. Muahhahah

Will follow great 1st story.

So completely unethical, immoral, entirely preposterous.

Never have I loved a more unlikely and unrealistic story lol! This was absolutely hilarious. 5 stars isn't good enough. I'm working in the hospital today. This one is getting shared. So funny.

Woo! Brutal and oddly satisfying.

It's hard to find new plots on LW these days, but you sure did it! Bravo for a unique, quick and fun read. Keep em coming

Great story with a great twist, I hope to see more from you….

G Vance