All Comments on 'Dee and Jodi Ch. 01'

You had a sexy situation and the erotic moment between the sisters was good, but you need to look out for your character names. Sometimes you called Dee "Deb", Jodi turned into "Jaime" for sentences at a time, and you used the name "Mary" for both the girls' mother and Jodi's girlfriend. Very confusing.

Also, since you went to the trouble to mention that Dee and Jodi had a half-sister, I kept expecting her to appear and make it a three-sister lick-off. Not bad for a first draft, but needs a polish.