Deep Cover

"Dad! I'm going home whether you go with me or not!"

"First of all, you are to call me 'Mom' at all times. Second, you ARE home. Three, HELL NO."

"I'm sixteen now. I can ride unaccompanied on the airplane. I have saved up enough money for a ticket. I am not asking for permission. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go, too."

Sophie was struck dumb. Her daughter was adamant. After a moment of reflection and a deep sigh, she thought, "Maybe she's right. Maybe it is time to go home."

"Carmen, let me think about it a while. You may be right."

"Really, Dad, I mean Mom? Thanks." Carmen ran back to her video games.

Sophie had gotten so used to her life in hiding, she had not thought about what might be left in America lately. After all, it had been 10 years.

Sophie was originally Duncan Phillips. He had met his wife, Chrissie, while he was in college studying architecture. Everything was looking good for his future when the company where he was an intern offered him a position upon graduation. Duncan did something unusual in celebration. He had fun.

Instead of burying his head in a book or practicing designs on his computer, he went to a party. His roommate was a member of one of the fraternities on campus famous for having plenty of willing girls at their parties. The girls varied mostly on the amount of alcohol it took before the panties came off. Chrissie was one of the last that night to lower her defenses and three men took advantage. Duncan was one. Two months after graduation, Duncan was informed that he was one of the three who might become a father. Several months later, Duncan won the sperm lottery.

He and Chrissie, with strong 'encouragement' from both sets of parents, chose marriage over abortion or adoption. Neither soon-to-be parents were thrilled at their prospects for a long or happy marriage, but both were willing to try for the sake of the child. Their little girl, Carmen, was precious. She was easy to love and made it easier for Chrissie and Duncan to try to love each other.

Resentment and resignation. That was how Duncan viewed the start of their marriage. Both he and Chrissie felt resentment about having been pushed into a marriage and parenthood sooner than they wanted. Both felt a sense of resignation at their fate. Their parents had hoped that love would evolve as their kids took on parenthood together. As far Duncan was concerned, it was working. Chrissie was a good mom. Discussions over the child care widened into discussions of all marital issues. She seemed reasonable in her desires and willingness to hold up her end of the bargain. He thought their sex together had turned into lovemaking. Duncan was pleased.

Chrissie enjoyed being both mother and wife for a couple of years and Duncan had become a husband, friend and lover as well as a good father. Slowly, however, the good relationship she had with Duncan soured. Although he professed being happy with the arrangement as father and husband, she had trouble believing it. He had been forced into marriage. He must only be sticking around for the child's sake. He says he likes the sex, but she bet he was getting some strange on the side. His asking for a divorce was only a matter of time. Her caldron full of assumptions about Duncan was allowed to brew for a couple of years.

When Carmen entered Kindergarten, Chrissie declared she was going to full-time employment so she could get out of the house and be around 'big' people all day. No more purple dinosaurs for her. Chrissie was a paralegal in a local law firm that served a collection of lawyers, mostly male lawyers. About the same time that Chrissie became convinced that Duncan was cheating on her, a new lawyer, John, had upped his flirting. She decided she needed to get the evidence on Duncan.

The law firm used one particular private investigation firm known as one of the best. It even had overseas capabilities. Chrissie used some of her new additional earnings to have Duncan followed. After a month or so, the lead PI gave her a report. "Your husband seems well liked. There seems little chance there is anything amiss going on at his office. His consulting trips are often last minute and mostly work. He has had no suspicious contact with women. Outside the country, we don't know. It will cost more if you want us to check those also."

Chrissie was not pleased. Her desire to prove him a cheater to get the better of him in a divorce and her increasing desire to get together with John allowed her to ignore objectivity. "This does not prove he's not a cheater. It only proves he is a very smart cheater."

With a 'goose and gander' rationalization in hand, Chrissie arranged to meet John for a quickie. While sexually thrilling, it only whetted her appetite for more. She and John started to create more time for their affair to grow. At first, she was discreet, or so she thought. Duncan was suspicious at the first change in schedule and reduction of sex at home.

Although he thought the marriage had been going well, he and Chrissie had never really talked about the 'forsaking all others' part of their wedding vow. He had kept his end of the vow and had assumed Chrissie had also, until recently. Even when he became suspicious, Duncan didn't say anything for several reasons: 1) Chrissie had been forced into marriage and that was unfair. Even though he had fallen in love with her, obviously she did not feel the same. He could not fault her for that. 2) He was not sure what a divorce would mean, financially or custody-wise. 3) He was scared that Chrissie might be able to take Carmen away from him.

After a couple of months, Chrissie got tired of trying to cover up her affair. One night she came downstairs, dressed for a night on the town and announced her intention to go on a date. "Duncan, you might as well get used to it. You can't do anything that won't hurt you and Carmen. If you divorce me, I get the house, custody, child support and alimony. Shit, you'd essentially be paying me to fuck whoever I want. You probably know that you're essentially doing that now. I guess it doesn't really bother you since you have your own lover or lovers.

"We might as well keep things as they are because that lets you be with Carmen and prevents you from spending money on your own apartment. Hell, I might even let you have sex occasionally. And don't think about running away. My firm has the best private investigator firm in town. Believe me, I'll track you down and cut your balls off. By the way, don't wait up for me."

Duncan knew she was right about what she could do to him (well, maybe not the castration part) and Carmen in a divorce - if he played by the rules. He had already started doing research and planning. It was around Carmen's sixth birthday that Duncan decided he was ready. There was no significance to the date. He had done nothing to draw attention to his plans. As far as Chrissie knew, it was just another day.

She came home to a dark house that evening. Nothing happened when she flicked the switches. Duncan's car was in the driveway, so she assumed he was home. "Duncan, did you forget to pay the light bill?" Chrissie had the light on her cell phone to make her way around the house. "Where the hell are you?" She could not find Carmen or Duncan. It was not until she went to the upstairs bedrooms that she began to understand what was going on. Duncan's toiletries and a quite a few of his clothes were gone. A check of Carmen's room showed a similar lack of clothes. "That son-of-a-bitch. He thinks he can run away. I'll show him."

The next few days search provided Chrissie the evidence of the extent of Duncan's escape plan. He had raided all their joint funds the day he left. All utilities and the mortgage had been left to expire when the next bill was due. The only income she had was her paralegal pay. She needed to find Duncan, fast.

She went to his architecture office and talked to his boss. The boss said that Duncan had warned her months ago that he was planning to resign some time in the near future, and it would be immediate when it was done. He promised to leave all information on all his projects so that someone could easily take over. His boss said she had no idea where he had gone. Chrissie asked about some of the places Duncan had been sent to consult. She was told of several businesses in cities in the US and several more in Europe. Chrissie called each and could not find one that listed Duncan as one of their architects. She needed professional help in finding him.

Chrissie's lover had been eager to help her betray her husband but backed off from helping her in her quest. She had to threaten to tell his wife to get some money. The money was used to hire the private investigator again in spite of her need for household funds.

Duncan and Carmen were headed for Scandinavia. In the last year after Chrissie's declaration of independence, he had been talking with Carmen. Even at five years of age, she had a good concept of what was going on. She did not like what her mother was doing or how her mother was treating her or her Dad. After asking Carmen what she thought about taking a long vacation away from Mom, she said, "Do we have to come back?" That's when Duncan solidified his plan.

Duncan had consulted with a number of firms in Europe over the years. He had become friends with a number of fellow architects. One in particular had shared many a beer and sad stories with Duncan. When Duncan mentioned he wished he could just come to Europe and disappear, Julian offered to help. He knew a master forger who could create new passports for Duncan and his daughter. He also offered Duncan a job under a new name. The plan was almost complete.

When Duncan went to the forger, he began to tell his story. The forger asked about how relentless his wife might be in trying to track him down. Duncan imagined she would be furious quite a while and use the PI firm associated with her law office. Duncan had called Chrissie's bluff. He assumed she would want revenge and she would probably be desperate for the money Duncan took. He feared being discovered at any time.

The forger suggested a 'deep cover.' He explained that Duncan needed to have plastic surgery, concentrating on the points on his face that was used in facial recognition. The forger said he could always update the documents he was currently producing. He said that such surgery was more common place because of so many men having gender reassignment surgery. It seems the modifications that made men look more like women, at least in the face, also were critical in facial recognition. Then he joked with Duncan, "Of course you could always change your sex. That would be as deep cover as you could get."

Duncan laughed but the suggestion stuck in his mind. Most of the value of the idea was that it would make it even more difficult for Chrissie to find him, but another part was that he had sometimes wondered what he would look like as a woman. Several people had remarked on smooth skin and his "pretty face" and several had conjectured that he was gay. He really didn't believe he was gay. The only male-on-male experience he had had was when he was a young teenager and had participated in circle jerks at summer camp. He had, however, always admired fit bodies, male or female, and he had masturbated to gay porno at times. When Duncan thought about it, he thought he might have some bi-sexual tendencies.

Several European countries had become destinations for those who wanted to change sexes, also known as gender reassignment. Unlike in America, there were no major delays in the process to change sexes. It had become almost just another elective surgical procedure for those willing to pay. Due to pressure by the LGBT advocates, many insurances were now paying part of the cost of the surgery. Duncan's new health insurance was one of those.

He talked to Carmen about it. She said she wanted to pretend she was a boy. Boys had more fun and played more sports. She asked if she would have to have a penis attached to her. That was not something she wanted. Duncan laughed and said that her body had not made her sex apparent yet so she could act like a boy if she wished.

The decision about the sex changes would need to happen soon so as not to create a need to move job and location. People back home knew them as a father and daughter. Now they were going to become a mother and son. Duncan's friend and new boss agreed to let him work from his residence until the surgery had occurred. It took a while for Duncan's transformation. During much of the time, Duncan would imagine how frustrated Chrissie was becoming trying to find her husband and daughter. Those thoughts gave him pleasure. Until the transformation was completed, Duncan was careful. He limited his time going outside. When he did, Duncan constantly scanned crowds for anyone suspicious. He changed paths. He doubled-back. He changed coats and hats. He used fake beards. He changed his gait and deliberately walked with a noticeable slump to his shoulders. Duncan was pleased with the apparent success of his deceptions, but he was always on guard.

Duncan did become a woman, a very attractive woman. He was now a she, Sophie Demereye. Her hair grew long and was dyed. Facial hair was controlled by lasers and drugs. Drugs and surgery also provided a nice set of 36 C boobs that looked proportional to her larger than average body. Liposuction provided a waist although nowhere near an hourglass waist. She was surprised when she started working in the office. Sophie was now hit on by many of the men, married and unmarried. At first, she found it amusing, but it finally sunk in that she would now be expected to participate sexually with men as she had once done with women. It was not a totally unpleasant thought.

She sought out a dance instructor who taught her to dance with someone else who led. That was important in the bar scene where dancing was expected. It proved harder to unlearn how to dance as the leader than to learn how to dance from scratch. Eventually she got good enough to try it for real.

She agreed to go out with one of the unmarried men from the new office. Dinner, drinks, and dancing. It was with a great deal of trepidation that she went out to the floor. The dancing, per se, went well. It was the close bodies and the hand placement that surprised her. She was feeling the excitement between the legs of her dance partner when dancing slow songs. The hand on her ass, however, was not really as meaningful to her as it was to her partner.

Sophie worried a lot about kissing a guy. On one hand, she assumed it would be the same as kissing a woman. On the other, she did not know. She had never been kissed by a man before. She was surprised when he wanted more than a quick peck on the lips. He wanted a deep kiss with tongue unleashed. She had not figured on going that far when she imagined how she would end her first date, but the amount of alcohol and the unexpected pleasure she got from a man kissing her, it led to tongue action on her part. Her date had hoped to be invited in, but she told him about her son and the babysitter needing to go home. Sophie needed to think about sex in the future. She had gotten turned on.

Sophie decided that she would only go so far until, and if, she found someone she wanted to be an indefinite partner with. The person would have to be very special to tell him about the change in sex and how her genitals had to be treated for her to have sexual release. The vagina she had was 'functional' and would respond to stimulation. The thought of penetration by a man, however, was had for Sophie to imagine. In the meantime, the men would have to be satisfied with kisses, groping, and blowjobs.

Blowjobs. The idea of giving a guy a blowjob was not as scary to Sophie as that first kiss. Maybe it was the memory of how good a blowjob felt and the desire to pleasure a date that made it more acceptable. When the time came, she was excited. Remembering what she liked when she was a he, Sophie went at her task with passion and hunger. She was determined to drain his balls. Her date had to beg her to go easier on him. In just few minutes, he shot off.

"I'm sorry" he said. "I didn't have time to warn you. Damn, do you practice by sucking golf balls through a straw?"

Sophie laughed. "I was thirsty. Thanks for the load."

"How about some real sex when I recover, if I recover?"

"Sorry, cowboy. I don't know you that well yet. Will another blowjob not do it for you?"

"Hell, I wouldn't pass that up for anything. Maybe take a little more time and leave me some skin this time."

Back to Carmen's declaration

Sophie had finished considering the return home that Carmen had proposed. Carmen was now 16 and had stopped pretending to be a boy when puberty made her sexual identity too hard to hide. As her hormones kicked in, Carmen was unsure which sex she would rather be. Before long, her body decided for her, especially the large breasts she inherited from her mother. It was obvious that as the years went on, her memory of the bad actions by her mother faded. Now she was full of hope that her mother had changed for the better. Sophie began to wonder herself.

It took a few months for Sophie to arrange the documents and the financing the trip would take. No one was notified back home of their arrival. It was truly a shot in the dark. Sophie had to keep Carmen under control. Carmen wanted to go straight to the old house and see her mother. What would happen after, would happen.

Sophie made Carmen promise to wait in the rental car while she approached the house. There had been some changes in the landscaping, but the house looked pretty much the same. She rang the doorbell and awaited her fate. A shiver ran down her spine.

"Yes, may I help you?" said the middle-aged man who answered the door.

"Is Chrissie Phillips here?"

"Is that the previous owner?"

"I guess. Do you know what happened to her. We . . uh . . are relatives who lost touch with her years ago."

"Let me ask my wife. Hon, can you come to the door? We are renters. The company we rent from bought the house in a foreclosure sale. Dear, this lady is looking for the previous owner. Do you remember anything about where she might be?"

"I think the realtor said her husband had left her and she couldn't make the house payments. Kidnapped their little girl, or was it a boy? Anyway, I think she moved away. Sorry, I don't remember more. You can call Johnny Blane, he's the realtor and landlord."

"Thank you." Sophie went back to the car.

Carmen was upset that her mother was no longer living there. Sophie tried to comfort her. "I expected that she might lose the house. She's living somewhere. We just have to find where."

A call to the landlord gave them the information that Chrissie had moved back to where she had relatives. He couldn't remember where that was. Sophie thanked him and told Carmen she thought she knew where her mother went. Chrissie had not talked too much about her family and a knocked up relative was not invited to many family functions. He had been to her family's place only once. It was in nearby New Hampton.

Sophie couldn't remember how to get to Chrissie's family's home, but that was not a problem in this small town. She stopped a mail carrier and asked where the Jenkins family lived. After figuring out which Jenkins she was talking about, the mail carrier said he could give directions, but said that the family no longer lived in town. It had been too long for the post office to still have a forwarding address.

For the first time in their hunt, Sophie was wondering if they were going to be able to find Chrissie. The look in Carmen's eye was enough to keep the determination to continue the search. "It's getting late. Let's get a room at the motel down the road and get some sleep. After picking up some food at a fast food place, they got a hotel room. Carmen's attempt to play video games lost out to the exhaustion caused by deflated hopes. She was asleep.