All Comments on 'Deep in the Heart of Me Ch. 01'

I love getting Jarod's perspective. Not only have you written an incredibly hot story you've matched it up FLAWLESSLY with Stephanie's POV. Not an easy writing exercise, but one you've pulled off brilliantly. You'd think that knowing what comes next would dull the anticipation, but its done the exact opposite. I'm on the edge of my seat wanting more.

Thank you.

Just wondering though, will you continue the story apart from Jarod's POV? Please do! I'm sure I'm not the only one thats wants the story to continue.

I am absolutely in love with your characterization, and I cannot wait to read the rest of the story from Jarod's POV!

I enjoyed your first story so much I always check to see if you have written anything more. I love the story from Jarod's POV it completes it somehow and you have done the job brilliantly. Can't wait for the next chapter. Thank you.

I absolutely LOVED this! I already read the first version (from Stephanie's point of view), and that was amazing. I rarely read the same thing from different POV's- I think it's kind of stupid, really. But this one was just lovely- it almost felt like an entirely different story! I also usually never read any form of BDSM, nor enjoy it even if I DO read some, but I loved yours. It wasn't too rough or bizarre, outside the realm of possibility (well, enough so for it to be a fantasy). The grammar was good, and the building of your characters was nearly perfect. Your way of separating sections is interesting, but not necessarily badly so. Your attention to detail is truly appreciated. And I love the way you fused Jarod's overpowering personality (as it first seemed from Stephanie's POV) and the sweet romance. I am a romance person- I love reading romance stories. Also, it's great that you rarely mention Stephanie's name- you write in a way in which it is not necessary. The only things I would suggest are to tone down on the "fuck's" (I felt as if the large number of it overwhelmed its possibility to become a powerful tool) and to keep your symbolism more subtle to maximize the strength of its power (ex. Jarod running away from his problems and running on the treadmill- you don't need to mention it's irony; but on the other hand, many readers may not notice, and they symbolism would be lost on them). Also, I remember Jarod replying to the last picture with a "fuck" (which I felt was the PERFECT time to use it), but I've been tired lately, so my memory isn't the best at the moment, so I could be wrong. Regardless, thank you for writing this brilliant story- I loved every minue of it, truly.

~ LaLaLadidahGirl

PS. I forgot my Literotica password- otherwise, I'd be logged in. Lol.

I saw your other stories title. Are these at all related to the song? "I've got you under my skin. Deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart your really apart of me. I'd give anything come what might for the sake of having you near. In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night how it calls calls in my ear. "? Because if so bravo. I love that song. As a matter of fact that is mine and my boyfriends song. It's a sure sign of good taste in music. now that I've put those dots together I'm going to go back and actually read your stories. Hopefully they're as good as the song :)

Ok, so this is a continuation in a way, I get it. I love getting his perspective. So insecure. While that would normally be a turn-off for me and many women, it is real life. The intensity of his emotions and physical instinct make this a very thrilling story. I love it. Thank you, and I will keep reading. :)

This is a magnificent continuation from his viewpoint! More more more please!

I have not read the other story - I am gathering that there is one from the comments. This, by itself, is fantastic. The tension and all-encompassing thoughts about her remind me of the way I felt about a girl in school. You've captured that feeling exactly. Thanks for sharing.

Let's see;

His project is late

He has report due

He can't get it done because of his infatuation with this 'wallflower'.

But then he's never gone out with her.

He's never kissed her.

So he goes up and bites her and she likes it?

I don't get it.

Just love this story. Your writing, the characters, the plot, the creativity behind it and rawness, how authentic everything in it is... I'm rambling. But this story (and your writing too) is addictive, enthralling, and just perfect. Enjoying every minute of it.

This was an....experience, and not a good one. Extremely cringy writing, randomly switching between first and third person perspective, the super creepy protagonist, everything was between awful to mediocre.

2/5