Deficit Reduction

"I guess not."

"It seems to me that since you are in a deficit as far as sexual experiences compared to Donald, you need to reduce the deficit to make things fair. Since he would not have cared if you had had sex with others before you were married, what's wrong with making up the deficit now?"

"But I can't go back and have sex before we were married."

"Look, you wanted him to keep his sexual activities with his old lovers a secret. He probably would have wanted you to keep all your old sexual activities a secret. The only difference is in the timing. He got his sexual experience before marriage. You're getting your sexual experience after marriage. He kept his secret. You keep yours secret. It evens out. The deficit is wiped out."

"I never thought of it that way."

"It's not fair for him to have had all those experiences and you didn't. And he will benefit from your sexual experiences to come. In one way you will be doing him a favor by improving your lovemaking capability. You just can't tell him about yours just like he hasn't told you about his."

"That's beginning to make sense. I guess if it feels right, I think I'm ready to get some new experience tonight."

*****

After several drinks, some slow dancing, and hands under the table, she left with a man from the club. Julia gave the guy directions to her house. She wanted to make sure he lasted when they had sex, so he got a blowjob on the way. Once there, Julia made him stay in his car until she could open the garage door so he could park inside. No need to answer questions from the neighbors. It seemed strange to her to be in her house with another man. He asked about having a drink first, but, fearing she might lose her nevre, she said, "We came her for sex. Let's have sex." He didn't argue.

Undressing happened quickly, and, unfortunately for the quality of their sex, coupling happened quickly. Julia's blowjob had not had the effect she desired. He recovered fairly quickly, and a longer bout of sex occurred. Julia kept waiting for something different from him than what she got from her husband. She neither saw nor felt much different. Actually, it was less. Julia had been hoping for some of those rolling orgasms that romance novels raved about. She was in the midst of a fake orgasm when she noticed the light on her bedside phone. She had a message. Her first thought that something had happened to her husband, an accident maybe. Soon after the man had pulled out, Julia played the message.

"Julia, I realize it's late, but I just had to call you. We got to talking about wives tonight after a few beers. Most of the guys were ragging about their wives. You know, spending too much, getting too fat, nagging continuously, flirting or worse with other men. When it got around to me, I had to be truthful: I have the most wonderful wife a man could ever have. I just wanted you to know how I feel. Good night. I love you."

Julia started bawling. Her lover asked her what was wrong. She told him to get out. When he did not move fast enough, she threatened to throw his clothes and stuff out the front door whether he was in them or not. He quickly dressed and ran downstairs. She couldn't believe it when he came back.

"Didn't I make myself clear? GET OUT! NOW!"

"But, I can't open the garage door. You have to do it."

"She stumbled down the stairs, gasping between her sobs. As soon as he cleared the garage, she closed the door again and ran upstairs. She took all the bed linen and put it in one of the pillowcases. Julia didn't want to see those sheets again, even if she had washed them. Instead, she took them out to the fire pit, put them in with some kindling, and poured lighter fluid all over them. It made quite a blaze at first and then simmered down. She stayed to make sure the flames had consumed every little bit. If only she could do that with the memory of what she had done."

*****

Several weeks went by. When Donald had returned from his latest fishing trip, he was disappointed that Julia had not attacked him as she had before. She said she felt like she was coming down with something. In the days that followed, she was frequent in her expressions of how lucky she was to have him as a husband. Sex was frequent and intense. The house was immaculate, and her meals were close to gourmet. He was being spoiled. Donald wondered what had made the difference. His first thought were the Friday nights out, but Julia stated casually that they had gotten boring and she didn't want to go anymore.

Donald was working at his office at the college one day and got a phone call. "Hello, this is Donald. How can I help you?"

"Donald, you don't know me, but I work with your wife. I need to talk to you about her." He could hear her sniffling in the background.

"What do you need to tell me?"

"Can we meet in person? It just doesn't feel right talking about this over the phone. Are you free for lunch? Edwardo's is near your office, I think. Can you meet me there at 12:00? I will be wearing a black skirt and a red blouse."

"Okay. Can't you tell me anything right now? You've got me worried."

"I'm sorry. I'll see you at noon."

Donald got nothing done the rest of the morning. His mind conjured up problems at her work, illness she was afraid to tell him about, and even possible gambling debts or secret drug use -- everything but what it was about.

Donald arrived early and spotted a woman in red and black. As he moved towards her, he saw her beautiful face, a tight blouse around a well-endowed chest, and a slim leg between a slit in the side of her dress. She was one of the most gorgeous women he had ever seen in person.

She saw him coming and forced a smile, "Donald?"

"Yes. And you are?"

"I'd rather not say right now. I don't want to be a part of this as much as possible."

Donald sat down and ordered a soft drink. He never drank hard liquor. At least he told himself that. Donald wondered if 'never' had just arrived. "Please tell me. Is Julia in some kind of trouble?"

"It depends on how you react to what I have to tell you." Again, the tears and sniffling. "I've debated for weeks on whether or not to tell you. I haven't been able to sleep and it's starting to affect my work. I'm sorry."

"I'm going crazy here. What's the matter with my wife?"

"I'm not trying to tease you by withholding information. It's just that it's so hard to tell on someone I considered a dear friend. You see, I'm the one who has been going out with on Friday nights."

"You're one of the girls?"

"I am Sheila and I am the girls. She thought it would sound 'safer' to you if you thought she was going out with a group of girls. Anyway, she and I work together. I had broken up with my boyfriend and asked her where there was a good place to meet nice guys. She said that there was one place in particular that she went to when you were out of town on fishing trips. She asked if I wanted to go. Julia told me I was so pretty that I would help her draw the better-looking guys. I said, 'Sure.'"

"We went to this club and it was evident she was a regular there. She shooed away the first few guys that tried to hit on us. Before long there were a couple who met her standards. Soon after we were dancing. Well, I was dancing. Julia was performing during the fast songs and essentially making out with whatever guy she was with on the slow dances. I was having an okay time with my guy, but Julia told me that I was not being nice enough to him. I tried paying more attention to him, but he saw the other guy stick his hands under Julia's skirt. It was obvious he was fingering her, and she was rubbing his, you know, penis. I forced Julia to leave so we both got back home pretty early."

"I'm sorry, Sheila. I find this incredibly difficult to believe. That does not sound like my Julia. Do you have any proof of this?"

"I'll get to that. The next day at work, Julia was pissed at me. I told her I wasn't like her and that I wasn't going out with her again. That made her even more angry. She wanted me as bait to help attract men. Julia threatened to tell the people we work with that I was a slut and got fired at my previous job for sucking off the boss. They traded her a good recommendation for her resignation. Who were they going to believe, Julia who had been there for years, or the new girl no one knew? I was frightened. I had just moved here and losing my job at this time would have devastated me financially. I agreed to go out with her again but asked if she could tone down her activities.

"We went out the next week and she was more under control. When she and her new guy got friendly, she asked for my car keys. I wondered where she was going. I found out when we got in my car. I've never been to a brothel before, but I bet it smells just like the back seat of my car did that night. I like to never have gotten rid of some of the stains and the smell."

"I still haven't heard any proof."

"I'm getting to it. The last time we went out when you were out of town, we went back to the club. Julia announced she was going to have the guy take her home and spend the night with her. I was on my own once she and the guy had made the deal. I was having a good time and doing okay. It was still early, so I stayed. A couple of hours later, her guy comes back and sits back down with us. Here is the story I recorded from him."

"Man, that was one strange bitch. That Julia chick was all over me here, then she gives me a blow job while we are driving to her and her old man's place. She has me pull into the garage, says there is some nosy old lady who lives next door. We go into the house. I try to set the mood and ask for a drink. She says, 'Donald doesn't drink alcohol. Forget the drink, let's go fuck.' I'm okay with that.

"We get upstairs, and clothes drop to the floor. No foreplay. Straight in and out. Well, she had me so hot and bothered, I shoot off before too long, which is unusual since she had swallowed me a few minutes early. After a couple of minutes more, it was time for round three. That was some good lovemaking then. I start to rest again for round four when she goes and checks the answering machine. All of a sudden, she starts crying and yelling at me to get out. I don't move fast enough to suit her, so she starts threatening me. Next time I try to tap some married ass, just shoot me."

"Is that enough proof for you to believe me?"

"Yes."

"Do you want a copy?"

"No. I never want to hear it again."

"What about in a divorce?"

"Wouldn't do any good. Adultery is not a reason for divorce in this state. We'll split assets and she will get alimony. I'll get the shaft, but I don't care. I just want to be done with her."

"No chance for reconciling?"

"I don't even want to see her again. I just want to crawl under a rock."

"Can I do anything to help?

"No offense, but why do you want to help?"

"I feel it's partly my fault. In addition, I had a husband cheat on me. I was devastated. It took me a long time and many hours of therapy to get my head on straight. I can't stand by and let you suffer by yourself. Please let me help you." Sheila placed her hand on his and smiled lovingly at him.

*****

Julia sat at the kitchen table pouring out tears on the note and wedding ring left by her husband. He told of his knowledge of her cheating in their house. He said he would willingly give up his half of the house because he did not want to set foot in the place where he was betrayed. Someone else would come by to pick up his stuff. She was advised to sign the divorce papers as soon as she was served. Donald was not interested in speaking to her. Julia called work and took indefinite sick leave.

Two days later, the divorce papers arrived. She called his lawyer after receiving his voice mail on his cell and office phone -- all ten times she called. Donald's lawyer told her that Donald had no interest in speaking with her. He said he doubted that Donald would even appear at the hearing. The lawyer said he had Power of Attorney for Donald.

Julia signed the papers and accepted her fate. It was her own fault for believing Sheila although Julia wished Sheila could share some of her pain. Now she had to go back and work under her. Julia went to HR and asked for a transfer to another department. It was denied. She couldn't tell them the real reason she needed the transfer.

Julia reluctantly went back to work. She and Sheila communicated in writing only. Concise and professional in tone. Julia's work was somewhat subpar due to her depression but was her mistakes were exaggerated in her performance report from Julia. After Julia was given a month to improve herself, Julia was fired. There was no motivation to fight. Julia went back home to Mom and Dad, a pleasant choice to Julia if for no reason other than it was over 1000 miles away from Donald, Sheila and the memories of her affair.

Julia found a cashier's job at a grocery, mostly for something to do. Her parents took her in and tried to cheer her up and move on with her life. Not an hour, much less a day or a week, went by that she didn't ask herself, "How could I have been so stupid!"

As the months went by, her depression stayed, grew, and hardened. It spiked on the day she received her notice of the dissolution of her marriage. Pills did little good. Counseling worked no better. Only one thing could save her -- anger. She wasn't seeking anger as her remedy, but she discovered that anger would snap her out of her depression when she heard that Donald had gotten remarried. Just his remarrying wasn't the cause of anger. She expected he would eventually remarry. He was a great catch. The real cause of her anger was that he married Sheila!

"That BITCH! She set me up. Why did she want Donald?" It only took a few minutes of remembering her early lunches with Sheila where Julia praised her husband and showed pictures of the handsome, fit man, that Julia knew the answer. Sheila said she was waiting for the right man. The problem was it was Julia's man!

Julia was now out for revenge. Her tendency for non-violence bit the dust. She not only needed to get back at Sheila, but she hoped to get Donald back at the same time. It would not be easy.

*****

Donald was fishing with his buddies when an unfamiliar car drove up. He made his way back towards the cabin before he saw who it was. It was a hard decision not to head back on the lake. The possibility of getting/giving closure won out. As he was tying his boat to the dock, he motioned for Julia to head to the cabin.

Once both were inside, he asked her how she was doing. She said 'Lousy."

"What do you want Julia? You didn't fight the divorce, so I assumed you weren't contesting any of the facts I based my divorce."

"No, I didn't. I admit I cheated on you. But it was only partly my fault. I certainly did enough to justify you divorcing me, but there's more you need to know. Just answer me one question. Who told you about my betrayal?"

"I don't see what difference that makes."

"It makes a difference if that is the same person who set me up to cheat on you. It was Sheila, wasn't it?"

"Did she drug you? Did she threaten you? Did she physically force you?"

"No. She . . . she talked me into it."

Donald laughed. "She talked you into it. Boy, you must have REALLY loved me if you could be easily talked into betraying your husband. Give me a break. This type of attack is sophomoric."

"I didn't say I wasn't stupid. She's good at manipulating people -- very good. She made is sound like I was doing something that would improve our marriage. Now, she has convinced you to marry her. She's a slut, Donald. A conniving, back-stabbing, lying slut. I promise, she will betray you with another man if she hasn't already."

"Julia, this is why I didn't want to talk to you. You've become a pathetic shell of your former self. I feel sorry for you. I don't feel hate. I don't feel love. I just feel sorry. I just thank God we never had children. Please go back to wherever you came from and move on with your life. I have."

Julia left in tears. She now had no hope of convincing Donald. Sheila had worked her black magic over him. All that was left was revenge on Sheila. She needed something to happen that would cause him to grieve.

Julia stayed in the cheapest motel she could find while carrying out her plan. She stalked Sheila and monitored Donald's activity too. When she saw Donald load up for a fishing trip on one Friday, she had hope. Later that day, Julia saw Sheila in her LBD head out. Julia hoped she was heading for the club -- a place where Julia not only knew the inside of the club, but also outside in the parking lot. Julia found Sheila's car and parked away from it. She waited for Julia to come out. Julia even had to squat and pee behind the car the furtherest from the club. A year earlier, she would have sworn she could never do anything like that. Now, it barely phased her.

Sheila finally came out with a guy in tow. Her male friend told her she had a flat tire. Of course, he volunteered to change if for her. As he was down working the jack, Julia came from behind him and hit him with the tire iron from her car. She hit hard to make sure he was out. A shocked Sheila was about to run when Julia pulled a gun on her.

Sheila quickly gathered herself. "Well, well, if it isn't the former wife. You couldn't get your husband back, so you've come to kill me. You don't have the guts, bitch." She started walking towards the club.

A bullet pierced Sheila's left leg. She went down. Julia and motioned to Area B in the parking lot and instructed her, "Get up and walk over that way or die here. I don't care which."

"You better get me to an Emergency Room. I promise not to tell."

"Yeah, right. Move, bitch. You have my permission to bleed."

*****

It took Donald a long time to get over the presumed loss of his new wife. Her car had been found in the parking lot at the club his first wife had met her lover. Some man said he had escorted Sheila to her car where he was knocked out. There was blood nearby that was Sheila's. Her blood trail went to a parking space and ended there. Foul play was expected but no body was found. His ex-wife had been the prime suspect, but she too had not been found. Neither had her car. Once police officials had been satisfied that Sheila was dead, he had a memorial service. An arrest warrant remained outstanding on Julia. It was time for a reexamination of his life.

Donald went fishing by himself. He needed the solitude to figure out what to do next his life. He dropped his stuff at the cabin and headed out to the lake with his fishing gear. When he got to the dock, he was surprised to see his boat was missing. He looked down first to see if it had sunk. No. He could see the bottom. Then he scanned the horizon. There it was -- in the middle of the lake. He went back to the cabin and drove to a nearby cabin where he had seen a Land Rover parked. Donald knocked on the door and introduced himself to the man who opened the door. After he explained his dilemma, the man agree to take Donald in his boat to help retrieve Donald's boat.

They both noticed that Donald's boat never moved. Donald saw the reason. His boat's anchor was down, and the rope was tight. Donald got in his boat and looked around. The only thing unusual he saw was a gun. He knew better than to touch it. Donald was puzzled and somewhat frightened. His new friend was waiting until Donald pulled up the anchor before he towed the boat to shore. When Donald pulled on the anchor rope, he could barely budge it. There was no way he could lift it out of the water. It seemed super heavy and/or stuck on something. He asked his neighbor for help. They rigged up the rope so that it ran through the oar holder to the man's boat. The throttle was pushed up and up before the rope started moving. The neighbor's boat edged forward slowly. Donald began to make out what was stuck on the anchor rope.