All Comments on 'Denny and Ella'

And that is that it should be easy to improve. The story is poorly edited, you switch points of view without indication, and your narrative is stream of consciousness. All that makes this story very difficult to follow. You can't write a story and make it readable by just writing down things when you think of them.

Nothing wrong with your story idea, just with the structure. There are many resources for writers online to help you with story construction..

Total crap

Unreadable!

I must agree with most of the comments. Don't you ever read a story back to yourself ?. Switches between people seemingly at random....edit edit edit. THEN it might be readable