Density and Singularities

He whispered, "You feel so good, Renee. You're beautiful, baby. Don't move. Yeah, just like that. Stay right there."

He pounded into her deeper, eliciting moans and grunts from her mouth even as her mind went somewhere out of her reach.

His hand moved beneath her skirt and found her erect clit with ease. She jerked a little from the light contact, and he bit her shoulder.

"That's it, baby. That's it," he moaned to her.

He continued his driving into her. Renee closed her eyes and felt a little like she was floating when his fingers found her clit again. She was fully in her body as the orgasm began to quake through her. She cried out and held onto the arm still around her. He fucked faster, and she came harder. It seemed to go on and on. Her screams, his thrusts, her screams, his teeth on her neck.

Then, it was over, him thrusting those final times, so deep, so hard, and then pressing completely inside of her and cumming. He stayed there a moment still wrapped around her, his back pressing into hers, and then he was gone.

Renee was still hanging on the counter for support. Her panties at her knees, his cum beginning to drip from her swollen, fucked pussy, her hard nipple pressing into the cloth of her dress. Time seemed meaningless as she stood there, and she wasn't sure how much had passed before she turned and stumbled a little to a kitchen chair, sitting down roughly. Her panties fell completely to her ankles then.

She looked around the kitchen, feeling disoriented. More than just his cock left her pussy, he wasn't there in the room.

Renee thought of going to look for him, but her legs disagreed. So, she sat at the table and waited. He was smiling when he returned. He looked refreshed, happy.

He smiled and said, "Should I walk you home, Renee?"

She stared in disbelief. What had just happened?

All she managed to say was, "Walk me home?" Something felt so wrong. One night he asks her to sleep over, now that he's gotten laid he's sending her home?

Her voice was small and felt lost.

She shook her head, "No, you don't have to."

As she stood up, she tripped over the forgotten panties, and he laughed.

She still felt a little confused, and she definitely didn't feel amused. It seemed to come in a flash, the return of her mind to her body. She reached down with little grace and untangled her underwear from her feet.

She forced herself to stand up straight and concentrated in an attempt to walk out with some dignity. He didn't have to send her home; she would go on her very own.

He asked again, "Are you sure you don't want me to walk you?"

Yes, that was what he had said. All thoughts of him taking her to his bed, holding her tight and whispering good night in her ear crashed to the floor. Her heart fell along with them, a ton of bricks into the linoleum. She realized she was wearing a crushed look and forced herself to straighten up. Her mouth was always smarter than her heart after she'd had too much wine, so she gave it permission to speak up.

Renee turned to face him, looking him in the eye, "Absolutely not. In fact, I think it would be a good idea for you...and your dog.... to stay on your side of the street from now on.... I will most certainly stay on mine."

As she went to open the door, he pushed it closed, blocking her, "Hey, what the hell was that all about?"

"You got what you wanted. Get out of my way," she reached for the door handle again; but he didn't move.

It was his turn to say, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You got laid. You want me out of your house. I'm going...if you'll just get out of my fucking way."

He sighed but still didn't move for a moment.

"I didn't do anything that you didn't want too, Renee. Don't act like that." He sounded more serious now.

"Don't act like what?" He moved enough for her to open the door. He crossed his arms across his chest.

"Renee, I don't know what to say to you right now. I thought we had a good time. I thought you enjoyed it, too. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry. You really don't have to worry about me bothering you anymore."

"Won't bother me anymore?" she muttered more to herself than to him, "Passive aggressive."

He walked away from the door and back through the house. As she walked outside, Babboo followed her, wagging his tail.

She looked down at him and said, "Go home, Babboo. You belong to him."

Babboo barked and sat down at the curb as she crossed the street. He barked three more times as she made her way up the porch steps. She turned to look at the dog, and he barked to her again as she went inside the house.

She tried not to notice that his truck occupied a space a good two rows away from where she normally parked. But, the combination of a clear knowledge that he no longer wished to see her and the sudden swelter of mid-summer heat nauseated her.

She was just in time for office hours, and she was grateful to see that there was no one to crowd into her office so early in the morning. She made a detour to the rest room and splashed cold water on her face. She sighed as it also landed on her blouse.

'Of course, a beautiful start to the day,'

Renee decided she needed a vacation. Her newfound pessimism was depressing even her.

Being the oldest of the science buildings, the air conditioning was barely functional. She turned on the little fan she'd kept in a corner all winter, letting the air blow against her face. She found a barrette in the top desk drawer and pulled her hair up. Her eyes were closed, and a slight feeling of relaxation was overcoming her anxiety when a loud rap echoed from the door.

Her mind jerked back a few days. It wasn't dissimilar from his knock. She straightened her shoulder, angled the fan a little away from her and let her hair down, fluffing it with her fingers.

She called out, "Come on in."

She hoped the pimply-faced teenager didn't see the disappointment in her face.

He opened his textbook and began talking almost without exchanging hellos. She knew many of younger students both feared her and lacked in social graces. So, she listened, explained and listened some more.

"James, it basically comes down to this: When a star uses up its available fusion fuel, its mass can no longer be supported by internal gas pressure. While outer layers are blown away, the resulting collapsed core will result in either of a white dwarf, a neutron star, or a black hole, depending on its final mass."

It was a basic concept that he was trying to make much harder than necessary. She smiled as he wrote down what she'd said word for word.

When he was gone, she chided herself, 'what is wrong with you? Why do you even want him knocking at your door? So, it was a one-night stand. Not your forte, but just move on.'

The day was long, and by the time she returned to her car, his truck was nowhere to be seen. She felt her shoulders slump forward a little.

'He just wanted to get laid, Renee. What the hell is wrong with you? Quit thinking about him.'

She hesitated then picked up her cell phone and called Mardi. Her friend's voice was decidedly disappointed. The yoga classes were her escapes from the kids, the husband and the house, and she didn't like to go alone.

But, Renee insisted, "Really, I feel like shit. I think I'm getting a virus or something. I'll call you tomorrow."

Her heart leapt when she pulled into the drive and saw the black lab lying across her front porch, panting, watching. He didn't stand as she approached, just wagged his tail.

"I agree, Babboo; its too damn hot and humid to stand up if you don't have to." She sat her bag down on the stair and sat down beside the dog, scratching his head. She glanced over her shoulder, just a small part of her thinking, 'maybe,' but there were no flowers, no cute notes. Just one big, hot dog.

She looked across the street. His truck wasn't there.

She frowned, "Is he leaving you out in this heat all day?"

She stood up again and looked to his house.

"Wait here," she told the dog as she went inside and came back with a bowl of water.

The dog drank the whole bowl, and she tried to talk herself into going back into the house and leaving the lab to his own devices. But, she just couldn't do it. If he were hit while crossing the street, she'd never forgive herself.

She looked at the dog and said, "You're killing me, ya know."

She stood and called the dog who reluctantly stood and followed her.

It wasn't until she was almost to the porch that she could see the front door was standing open. She closed her eyes and stopped for a moment. The dog continued on to the screen door. For a moment, she considered just opening the screen, letting the dog inside and going home as quickly as possible. But, the same insane impulse that had her panties around her ankles a few days earlier, had her knocking against the metal of the screen.

There was silence from the house after several knocks, and it seemed lifeless inside, no noise, no light.

Renee called out, "Hello? Lee? Are you home?"

There was no answer. She looked down at the dog who looked up at her.

A sudden strange flash of terror flooded her heart. What if something was wrong? What if Babboo had just escaped the clutches of some cruel burglar? What if Lee were dead?

The rationality of her mind shook its head at the melodrama of her heart, but she decided it was best to just peek inside before she left the lab alone there. Surely he was just asleep or in the shower or something.

She bit her lip, 'In the shower.'

She'd barely got a glimpse at his body from the way he'd taken her from behind. She tried to ignore the ache between her legs as she opened the door and stepped inside, the dog following closely behind.

She called out, "Hello?" again as the dog trotted past her towards the kitchen.

She stopped and looked around. Nothing looked particularly out of place, although with all the boxes, nothing looked particularly in place yet either.

Just as she made the decision to turn back, she heard the startled, almost angry male voice behind her, "What the hell?"

As she turned, he continued, "What are you doing in my house?"

Renee opened her mouth to explain as she had the revelation that she must now look like an insane jilted lover.

The words just popped out of her mouth, "I'm here looking for the bunny."

He sat his bag down by the door, his keys still in his hand, "The bunny? What? What are you talking about?"

He was obviously too annoyed to get the obscure reference.

"Fatal Attraction? Rabbit stew?"

He was looking at her like she was crazy when she continued, "No, sorry, um, wow, that was not a good thing to bring up, huh?"

'You have two masters degrees and a PhD, that's the best you can do?' she asked herself.

She cleared her throat, "Babboo was on my porch. The front door was open. You didn't answer.... I'm sorry, I should have stayed outside...I was just..."

She stopped, 'Having insane thoughts about serial killers and burglars...that's what you're going to say?'

She swallowed, "I was just letting the dog inside."

As she looked at the floor and tried to walk past him as quickly as possible, she felt his hand on her arm, "Renee, wait."

His voice was softer now, "I'm sorry, you just startled me. I parked around back; I just didn't hear you...I had a little adrenaline going there for a minute...thank you for walking Babboo home."

She looked up into his eyes and had the impulse to kiss him, but she didn't.

Shaking her head and saying, "No problem, I like him. He's a sweet dog."

As she pushed open the screen, he called out, "I wish you still liked me too."

She stopped and let the words hang in the air a moment.

"I don't dislike you, Lee," she turned to face him again.

He grinned, "Then, why don't you come in and I'll make us something to eat, open a bottle of wine..."

It was a sudden flashback and she felt the smile fade from her face. Did he think she was an idiot? Did he honest to God believe she was reliving that same night over again with him now?

She tried to hide the annoyance in her voice, "No, thank you. I need to get home."

She turned and walked away quickly. If he said anything else, she didn't hear it.

Mardi had pulled the big white Adirondack chair from the back yard to the front, planting herself well within it. She wore the fanny pack with abandon. There was no way Renee was wrapping such a nylon object around her waist, whether it was convenient for making change or not.

Mardi had borrowed two large tables that normally sat in the reception hall of her church and had scrounged an old card table from the garage. The things Mardi had hauled over in her mini van took up the majority of the space. Renee had said they should host the sale at Mardi's house, but she'd insisted they'd have more traffic where Renee lived.

"Location, location, location," she'd chanted as they packed the boxes into the van the night before, small children scurrying under their feet and demanding to know the contents of each cardboard container.

Renee tried to humor them for a while; their mother did not, ordering them back into the house. Renee looked at the card table holding her hope chest contents.

'It's for the best. Look how much those kids got on your nerves last night. Some people just aren't mean to be mothers,' she told herself as the first pair of women began to examine them.

She turned away, and Mardi reached up, touching her arm when she saw the tears in Renee's eyes, "Just take them back inside, honey...you don't have to do this."

Renee shook her head, "No, I'm being stupid. I'm just ready to have my period or something."

Mardi shook her head, "Yeah, right, tough girl..."

She stopped mid-reprimand. "Oh my, look at this, honey,"

She tugged on her arm now and pointed behind her.

Renee turned, and there he was. Lee. Babboo was standing on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street alternating between whining and barking.

"You stay there!"

The dog sat down but didn't give up his verbal pleas for permission to join them.

He smiled when he saw her, "Renee, don't you look pretty today."

She looked down at her t-shirt and khaki shorts, looking back up to raise an eyebrow him. But, he was already exploring the contents of the sale. He made a beeline for her little card table, and her heart pounded.

He stared at the baby clothes for a moment, and then turned and said, "Guess there's not much for a single guy here, huh?"

She didn't realize that Mardi was beside her until she heard her say, "Well maybe not for sale, but..." and she shoved Renee forward a little.

Renee felt her face redden from a combination of anger and embarrassment.

She turned and whispered to Mardi, "Are you in high school? I can't believe..."

Then, he was closer than she realized and talking beyond her, "Well, I've tried to talk her into having dinner with me again. But she doesn't seem to want to?"

"No way," Mardi poked her, "You turned him down? Did you take a good look at him?"

Mardi winked at Lee as he laughed.

Renee closed her eyes, feeling trapped, feeling horrified.

Not sure which one of them she wanted to smack first until she heard Mardi say, "When do you want to have dinner with her, sugar?"

"Tonight?" his amused voice made her cringe.

"She'll be there, if I have to handcuff her and bring her over myself." Mardi answered, grinning as Renee gave her a look to kill.

She could feel his grin as he leaned in and answered, "Handcuffs, huh? That might be fun."

Mardi reached past her and smacked him on the arm, "You're a bad boy. I like that. Renee needs a bad boy for once in her life."

She decided she was the meat in a sandwich of humiliation.

As he left, he called Babboo to his side and disappeared into his own house, first he turned to wave at her former best friend.

Mardi said, "He said, 'again.' I cannot believe you had dinner with a man who looks like that and didn't even tell me. You should be ashamed. You know I live vicariously through anyone who doesn't have to fuck Bobby."

For the first time in a long time, Renee felt sorry for her husband. And, in that spirit said little for the rest of the day.

She had just showered, combed threw her wet hair and put on her pajamas when the knock came at the door. It was nine p.m. She thought of ignoring it. She'd lived alone in the city for so long that she was suspicious of any unknown visitor after dark. She did not want to be a story on the evening news. She glanced at the stack of papers on her coffee table and back to the door when the knock repeated.

When she heard his voice call out, "Hey Renee, I know you're in there. Open up!" She opened the door.

He smiled and held up a bottle of wine. She shook her head.

Just as he said, "You didn't show up to dinner," she said, "You're not getting me drunk again."

Each looked at the other and answered, "What?"

He continued with, "I did not get you drunk!"

And she tried to speak over him saying, "I can't believe you thought I was actually coming to dinner!"

He huffed, and she shook her head.

He twisted his mouth to the side for a moment then turned on his heels, calling out, "You're impossible, Renee."

Renee opened the screen and called out to his back, "I am not impossible, you prick!"

He turned back to face her, "I'm a prick now? How am I a prick now? Because I wanted to have dinner with you? Because I wanted whatever this is between us to be more than some fuck over the sink?"

Renee shook her head, "Oh no, don't you try to sound like some good guy."

She could feel herself getting angrier as she stomped closer to him, "You want this to be something more? I didn't throw you out of my house as soon as I was done with you. That was you, buddy. Not me!"

"Threw you out!? I did not fucking throw you out!" He looked surprisingly insulted.

She responded with a "Ha! And, may I quote, 'Can I walk you home now, Renee?'"

"What? What? Are you insane? I was asking you if you wanted to stay...Should I walk you home now, Renee?" he repeated the question, his voice rising just at the end of the phrase, "You're the one who left like you did."

"That is not how you said it."

"That is how I said it."

"You're an ass."

"You're a crazy woman."

Neither realized just how loud their voices had gotten until the little old lady who lived next door, banged her cane on the chain link fence, "You want me to call the police, Renee, honey?"

She pointed her cane in Lee's direction, "I may be old, but I see you...I see real clear. I can pick you out of a line up!"

Renee bit her lip, suppressing a laugh, "I'm okay, Mrs. Johnson. This is Lee. He just moved in across the street."

The old woman furrowed her eyebrows together, "Then you two keep it down!"

Lee met Renee's eye, and they both laughed, "Pick me out of a line up? I think she watches too much Law and Order."

Renee smiled and looked at the ground, then asked, more quietly, "Were you really asking me to stay?"

Lee took a step closer, bringing him less than a pace away from her, "Of course I was...why would I want you to leave?"

Renee muttered, "I don't know" as she felt his fingers under her chin, lifting it until she looked into his eyes.

She could barely mutter, "Do you want to come inside?"

Lee smiled and answered, "Of course, I do."

Renee stared, slightly horrified, at the couch as they walked through the door. Strewn on it were her salvaged yard sale items: the baby clothes, the empty picture frames, even the crumpled wedding dress page laid like a bad omen at the foot.

Lee took in the sight and said, casually, "Leftovers from the yard sale, huh?"