All Comments on 'Desparate Measures'

. . . the First Error is the . . First Word . . of the Title.

But Let's Carry on, and see.

Kilroy.

For the read. Kind of boring.

Not a bad story idea. However your writing style is a bit inconsistent. I think your future stories could benefit a lot from you using the services offered by the volunteer editors.

The lack of punctuation. So if money was tight, why didn't hubby get a real job? Why would the first alternative to become a prostitute?

... all the punctuation characters on your keyboard seem to not work. Check out the fifth-last paragraph.

More than a screenful, and not one comma, semicolon, or even a full stop (period). I suppose we should feel grateful for quotation marks.

And then there was bad word choice, quite possibly induced/ assisted by VRS, that same paragraph ending with a hose pipe splayed (not sprayed) across the poor girl's cervix. The Ignominies this writer puts his characters through.

Things can only get better

Kilroy

very difficult tyo read...some sentences had no periods and seemed to have 1,000 words in them...very hard to read...

This was written to tweak Grammar Nazis... Cause it tweaked the fuck outta me.

Had to be a joke. I can't believe anyone is this fucking bad a writer. On the other hand...

Story was completely unreadable. I'm not a grammar Nazi and can forgive quite a bit, but couldn't work through the first few paragraphs. Punctuation isn't optional and serves a purpose. What made it worse was the dialog with quotes. If you want people to take time to read your story, you should take time to write it coherently. You might have the most amazing idea, but if no one understands you...does it really matter? It's a shame because it seemed like it had promise.

If the lack of punctuation was supposed to be a joke, I am only glad that it was apparent early enough to stop me wasting more than a few minutes reading.

The story is good....the grammar will come.

And so was I. I couldn't finish this. Please review your grammar school basics before posting again. Punctuation, spelling, and sentence construction are all quite important. The story was OK as far as I read but it was full of cliches. I think it reveals a lot about a male author when the character he assigns to have sex with his wife has a cartoon penis and legendary sexual stamina.

Must be hard to type and flip burgers at the same time, give up writing, please! -1

The story itself doesn't look bad, but you can't tell through all the lack of punctuation that people have already mentioned. If you can't do it yourself, please get an editor before submitting again.

At the risk of piling it on, the story was very hard to follow given the numerous errors. Thanks for the effort but if you share another story please have someone edit it before you submit it for reading.

One star.

Pure rubbish YIKES

There were numerous punctuation and spelling errors, but I still understood the story easily. The plot is not too realistic but it could happen in erotica. This was not the best story I've ever read, but it's not that bad either.

...get some help from an editor. Lit has lots of them and you should use one or more. Every good writer has an editor. All professional writers have an editor. You'd be in good company.

The story itself is a little weak, but the more you write the better you will become. Don't listen to the anonymous posters. There are people in life who beat everyone else down until they are the only one standing. It's their way of feeling superior. Fuck them.

Story not too bad, just impossible to read. Get an editor. I gave you two stars because of the lousy grammar, spelling, syntax, and paragraphing, otherwise you would have gotten more.

Don't take any notice of cowards who comment anonymously, the reason they do that is to hurt people, they are not qualified critics, just negative types who get their jollies annoying people.

I loved your story, I wanted it to continue and I hope it does.

Looking forward to more of your great work.

melsdad

Not sure how you could possibly have graduated from high school with your (lack of) writing skills. The "story" was fine, but the writing was SO atrocious, I couldn't even make it thru the entire story.

Have someone proof the stories for you. oh my gosh........

Holy crap! Have you ever heard of a comma? Heard of any punctuation for that manner.

Very hot! I´m sure she´s going to take up the trade after her last client! She wants to feel the excitement and feel the excitement when she´s whoring herself out!...

Femdom agitprop, short, hot and sweet.