Destruction and Rebirth

"There's no time like right now to talk about it after all..." Squeezing her folds as she glided forward on my cock, causing me to moan loudly in bliss as I fell back onto the bed. "It's why I stopped taking my birth control. I know that woman hurt you. I know it's taken a long time for you to trust me. I didn't let on that I knew you held doubt in your heart about my faithfulness. I never condemned you for that. As, I'm sure, you felt my aloofness at taking things further with you. Yet, have I not proven to you that I am in no way, shape, or form like that woman?"

"No. You are definitely not like her, that's for sure," I agreed. "But won't your parents be angry if you have a child out of wedlock?" I knew they would be, they were very devout Catholics, and I knew they would not approve of this white man knocking up their daughter without a ring on her finger. That was when I saw that devious grin appear, and I knew I had walked right into that trap of hers.

"What are you trying to say, Mr. Hal? Are you saying that you want to marry me?" As she asked this, she was still riding me, not as hard as before but well enough to keep me at that edge. Her face filled mine as she leaned forward, placing her hands on either side of my head. That curtain of ebony hair closed me in, so the only thing I could peer at was that angelic face of hers. "If you are, know this, I will be the most perfect wife you've ever had. You will want for nothing, this..." The way she just massaged my cock with only her folds nearly had me erupting in that hot, wet, love tunnel of hers, "will always be taken care of, because I'm never going to give you up, ever?!" Did I really want to be married again? Was I even ready for that kind of commitment? Honestly, I didn't have a fucking clue. However, as I stared up into those brown eyes of hers. I couldn't see a future without her in it. I knew if I said no, that would be the end of us. The thought of her walking out of my life, forced to see her every day at work and know what I had thrown away, oddly, hurt more than finding out my first wife was nothing but a cheating slut.

"Si," I uttered in Spanish. I didn't want to let on just yet that I could speak more than just yes or no. I wasn't fluent in it yet, but I understood what they were saying. I watched how those eyes softened and moistened and quivered all at the same time. Then she proceeded to fuck the ever-loving shit out of me, and I enjoyed every fucking second of it!

That weekend, at Catalina's monthly family get-together, I saw her clustered around her mother, aunts, cousins of the female gender, and her two sisters, talking about something in rapid Spanish that I couldn't hear from my vantage point, seeing how her Uncle by marriage was a very loud talker even when you were standing right beside the man. Not that I could hold it against the man; the man was going deaf due to years of working construction jobs without adequate hearing protection. As I was taking a sip of my Corona, not my brand, but guests can't complain when you're offered a free beer; that would be rude and disrespectful to the host, and Catalina would have my hide if I was ever rude to her family without a very good reason. That was when I saw those women's faces going from a range of intently listening to shock then downright joy as they surged from their seats and embraced Catalina. That was when her mother came rushing towards me, speaking rapidly in Spanish, not that she couldn't speak English, which she could; however, those from another country normally revert back to their native language when they're either happy or pissed off. So I didn't catch everything; I was still at an intermediate level. However, I did catch 'My son, my son' as she repeatedly kissed both of my cheeks with tears in her eyes.

"I'll only move forward if I have your and Hector's (her husband and Catalina's father) blessing," I said in the best Spanish that I could. I could see how everyone's head turned towards me in shock. They had no idea I could speak their language, granted, not well at the time, but I could speak it; I understood it better than my ability to pronounce it.

"Nathan, baby, when did you learn Spanish?" Catalina asked in English with a mix of awe and happiness. Since I think she knew I did it so I could understand her heritage and not be an outsider in her family.

"The moment you said yes to our first date," I replied in Spanish. Watching her hands flying to her mouth, how her tears of happiness reamed her eyes as she gazed at me.

"Are you fluent?" Her mother asked, not bothering with speaking in English.

"No, I'm still learning, I can understand you, yet I can't pronounce everything correctly... yet," I replied, keeping to their language.

"You'll get there, see Catalina; this one is definitely a keeper. Much better fit for you than that last one," her mother said with an approving nod.

"And I'm never letting him go," Catalina said dreamily and meant every word she spoke.

From that point forward, English was banned from the gatherings all so they could help me improve my Spanish skills, and Catalina took her lessons to a whole different level. I think, if the way Catalina taught me was done in school, learning another language wouldn't be so hard. Then again, I don't think Catalina's way would be appropriate for school given how her lessons were taught in the bedroom. Trust me, I learned a whole new set of curse words that I am going to enjoy using!

When it came time to tell my parents I was getting remarried. I dreaded going back to that city after three and a half years. I knew my daughter would be in college, if she went to college. After what happened in the restaurant, I had to keep myself away from them. Otherwise, I'd kill myself at the loss of my children, who had meant the world to me before they ripped out my heart. It wasn't that they didn't know I was dating again. They just didn't expect my arrival at my childhood home with Catalina standing beside me. Were they happy to see me? Of course, did they pester me to contact my children again? Yes. Did I? Not a fucking chance! I wasn't opening that can of worms. While they were happy for the two of us, I saw the disappointment at my refusal to reconnect with my children. We stayed 'til that Sunday afternoon before we had to drive to the airport. I thought I saw my daughter passing us in an old '96 style car as we headed for the airport. However, the slamming on of their brakes did raise the suspicion that it was indeed my daughter. Did I stop? Nope.

Six months later, Catalina and I were married. I flew my parents in for it; they were not happy I didn't invite my kids. But they chose a side; they didn't want me in their life, so why should I include them in mine? What no one knew at the time was that Catalina was already a month pregnant. We honeymooned on a cruise line. It was nice, not my cup of tea, but nice. Then married life settled in. I knew what to expect Catalina did not. Did she make some screw-ups, of course, as did I, but we are human; we are fallible. Did her out-of-control hormones drive me crazy; oh yeah, as I am sure some of my quirks did as well. Yet we talked, we worked through all of that like man and wife should. Not hiding, no fooling around on the other, or any of the crap the Bitch pulled in the seventeen years I was unfortunate to know her.

Then the big day came, the day Catalina's water broke while she was at her desk one day. I got the call immediately and rushed with all my haste to get to her. Our daughter, Alondra Hal, was born at two am the next morning crying to the heavens with fine ebony hair like her mother. As I stood there with bated breath watching the two of them, as Catalina held Alondra in her arms, I couldn't think of a more beautiful sight than how Catalina gazed lovingly down at our daughter in her arms.

"I love you so much," Catalina cooed as she held my hand. "You've given me the most perfect gift I could ever ask for." Even covered in sweat due to the pain of child birth Catalina was still the most stunning woman I've ever had the most fortunate of fates to know.

"And I love you, too, now and forever," I whispered as I pressed my forehead against hers before kissing her and my daughter.

"Will you get them? They have to be dying to know what's happening?" Catalina asked, brushing her thumb along the back of my hand.

"Sure, honey," I said with a warm smile on my lips.

The women in her family clustered around the bed, cooing to my daughter while the men congratulated me. I thanked them, of course, but said Catalina did the hard part; all I got was a fractured hand. Which, to my amazement, got a hoot out of them. So life moved on, like it always does. I think I went without sleep for a month one time during the first year after Alondra's birth because all I remember was a waking haze. Then again, I did experience that taking care of my other children. Alondra was not once brushed off or ignored; she was spoiled rotten; Catalina's relatives saw to that. I'm guilty as well, but I'm the dad I'm supposed to spoil my daughter. It's in the unwritten code of fatherhood.

Three years had passed, and Alondra was in daycare. I was watching the feed that the daycare supplied to those with children in their care. I know Catalina watched it as well, seeing how she would call me to tell me to turn the feed on if Alondra did something she found adorable. We had taught Alondra both English and Spanish when she started to talk. I wasn't going to deprive her of that. After all, her mother sings to her in Spanish, and what child doesn't want to know what their mother is singing to them? Although I have no idea where Alondra learned Spanglish from, over the past few months, she's gotten into the habit of using all three in a conversation. That kind of threw me for a loop for a while before I read up on Spanglish. Were our lives perfect up to that point? No. Nothing is perfect, yet if you work together, stick with each other through thick and thin, and talk to one another, it could be damn near perfect. That was when my cell phone rang, I didn't know it at the time, but my past was about to catch up to me. Picking it up and answering it without bothering to look at the caller ID. If I had, I might not have answered it.

"Hello?" I answered, smiling as I watched Alondra playing with her friends.

"Dad?!" My heart was in my ears pounding so loudly it almost drowned out my daughter's voice. "Dad, please talk to me?!"

"Who is this?" I asked, knowing full well who it was.

"Don't you remember the sound of my voice, Dad? It's me, your daughter?!"

"The only daughter I have is four years old," I said before ending the call. How I fucking hated to do that. I watched for a minute as my phone rang again and continued to ring and ring. "Yes?"

"Please, Dad?! Please talk to me?!" I could hear the tears as she pleaded with me.

"What do you want, Amber? Is your new stepdaddy not making you feel all warm and fuzzy now?" I asked my bitterness was very clear. "What could you possibly want from the man that helped to bring you into this world, raised and cared for you when you disowned him for something new and shiny?"

"Please, Dad, can we not fight? Please?!" I heard the tone of her voice. I knew she was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Then tell me what you want so I can go back to watching my daughter."

"I'm getting married...."

"Well, lucky you, let's hope you didn't take after your mother, or whomever it is your marrying doesn't have a wandering eye. Because you know some of us take marriage vows very fucking serious." I arched an eyebrow when it sounded like someone had taken the phone from Amber.

"Mr. Hal, I know you don't know me, but I'm your daughter's fiancée..."

"Again, I have to reiterate; I only have one daughter, if you're speaking about the woman that was on the phone. I'm not her father anymore. Not my doing, that's on her. So what do you want from me?" I asked, tapping my finger on my desk.

"Well, she was wondering if you would walk her down the aisle."

"And why can't her stepdaddy do that?"

"If you're referring to the man your ex-wife married, that didn't last."

"Why am I not surprised."

"So... what do I tell her?"

"Tell her to find someone else. I only have one daughter," I repeated. "And don't call me again." Was I purposely cruel? Maybe, I'm not sure; I think my hurt, that's never gone away from their rejection, worked itself into my words. I shouldn't have answered my phone again, yet I did. I did miss hearing my daughter's voice. "What?" I sighed.

"Please, daddy, don't hang up! I'm sorry, I was stupid; I shouldn't have listened to Mom. She thought if we did that, you would come back home, but you didn't, and I lost my daddy." I leaned forward, resting my elbow on my desk; my fingers kept my eyelids closed in hopes it would keep me from tearing up. Yet that proved futile because here was my little girl, whom I helped teach how to walk, talk, build pillow forts, and every other childhood lesson one learns growing up, balling her heart out over the line.

"And what do you want from me after all this time?"

"I want to be your daughter again. I want to talk with you like we used to..."

"I don't know if that's possible you hurt me very deeply. Do you know how bad it is to know your own children don't want you any longer?"

"I know, and I can't begin to apologize for that. But I've missed you so much. I go to Papa's every Sunday hoping that you called or left some message for us, but nothing, never a word. That's when I knew how much we really screwed up. They always tell me you don't want to talk to us. But, daddy, it's been seven years, I've missed so much of your life, and I don't want to miss any more!"

"And what of your mother?"

"Screw what she thinks! She's the one that caused this mess in the first place!" Okay, I had to chuckle at that.

"And where was this fire seven years ago?"

"I was a kid! You know I never had a serious boyfriend at that time, so I never saw what Mom did as anything wrong since I had no clue what sex was really like." I couldn't help myself; I did smile. "Neither of us understood the consequences we would be facing if we went along with Mom's plan. We just wanted you back?! We tried to call after you as you walked out, but you never turned around. If you had, you would have seen how devastated we were. We would have taken it all back right then and there and told you the truth, but you kept walking."

"How's your brother?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Oh, Carson is doing great! He joined the army to get away from Mom."

"He did?" Fear built in my heart at the thought of my boy dying on some foreign soil, far from home.

"Mmmhmm, but he said he was only going to do four years, so he should be out by next year." I heard the hopefulness in her voice. "Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you get remarried?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Don't be mad, but I found you on Facebook." It wasn't my Facebook page. It was a family page that Catalina had set up so her relatives back in Mexico could keep up to date with how we were doing and how Alondra grew over the years. "I wish I could have been there; I bet it was a beautiful ceremony." I heard my daughter sigh. "So... Dad, what's my sister's name?"

"Alondra Hal," I stated proudly.

"She looks so adorable. I'd like to meet her when you're ready, no pressure." I heard the fear in my daughter's voice that if she pushed the subject, it would be the last that she would hear from me. Honestly, I couldn't really say on that subject. I was kind of torn at the moment. "Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"I want you to meet David. He's a good man. He reminds me of you. Would it be okay if we came to see you? We promise we won't impose on you or your new family. I'd really like to get to know them."

"I don't know... I'll have to discuss this with Catalina."

"I understand. Please, Dad, don't forget about me."

"Amber, I've never forgotten about you," I admitted. "How could I? You're my daughter; I could never forget you."

"Oh, daddy." I heard her sigh before breaking down again. Then I heard the rustling of something over the line.

"Mr. Hal, would it be alright if we called you back. Amber's going to need a moment." I looked at the clock noting it was time to get Alondra from daycare, and it was my day to do so. Catalina and I switch off so one of us can have a few hours of peace before heading home to a rambunctious four-year-old. Don't get me wrong, I love Alondra to death, but sometimes she can take it a little too far. Then again, that is the point of growing up; to test the limits of one's life.

"I have to pick up my daughter from daycare; she can call in an hour," I said, gathering up my things and shutting my briefcase as I rose.

"I understand; I'll let her know."

Pulling out my cell phone, opening up my files on its hard drive, and selected the one file I hadn't opened in years because it would just hurt too much. I did feel a tear forming as the picture of my daughter, who was fourteen at the time the picture was taken, filled my screen. Wondering what life would have turned out like if I had turned around that day in the restaurant as the pad of my thumb ran down my daughter's face. I won't deny it; I missed them so much. Closing out the picture and pulling up my wife's number.

"Si, Amor?" Catalina's alluring voice filled my ear when she answered.

"You won't guess who I got a call from just now," I replied in Spanish. We always talked in Spanish when we were at work so that no one could eavesdrop on our conversations.

"Who?"

"My daughter." I heard her gasp over the line.

"Are you okay?" I heard her worry in her voice.

"Honestly, can't say," I admitted as I walked towards the elevator so I could take it down to the fifth floor where the daycare was located.

"What did she want?"

"To tell me she's getting married and that she wants to meet you and Alondra," I stated as I waited for the cab to arrive.

"I see; we'll discuss this when I get home. Are you on your way to pick Alondra up?"

"Of course, dear," I said with a smile on my lips.

"Good." Catalina had this sexy little purr to her voice. She always did when she watched me doing my dad thing with Alondra. "I'll be home soon; will tacos be okay for dinner?"

"Honey, if you're making them, you know I'll eat six of those things," I joked, which was true. I might not like refried beans and a few other Mexican dishes, but I loved Catalina's cooking. A smirk rose the corner of my lips at the sound of my wife's soft giggle.

Setting my briefcase down and kneeling on one knee as my daughter came racing towards me shouting 'Daddy!' when she saw me. I held Alondra very close to me as her little arms wrapped around my neck, reminding me how Amber would do the same thing when she was Alondra's age.

"You ready to go home?" I asked to which my daughter vigorously nodded her head. Scooping up my four-year-old in my right arm as I rose, nodding to the man who was in charge of the kids that day, he switched off every other day with his wife, as I rose to my feet. "Did you have fun today?" I inquired as we exited the daycare and headed for the elevator. A warm smile was plastered on my face as Alondra chatted away rapidly about how her day went as I carried her to my car. Normally, Catalina and I share a car if Alondra wasn't in daycare; if she was, I went in early so I could be off when it was time to pick Alondra up; it was the same with Catalina when it was her day.