All Comments on 'Dig Two Graves Ch. 03'

I know someone will spot some holes in this story, but that is not what this is about. Thanks for the great emotional story.

Now this is what writing is all about. Damn this is a great story. And yes I was one of the readers who bitch and moan about the shortness of the second chapter. "SORRY"

hubby keep trying to give susie a break.susie one sick bitch.fuck susie and take care his business.

This was great. So glad you compressed it to make this chapter so much longer. If you'd kept the story at the same length as the previous two chapters, it would take way too long to finish, and the momentum would have frizzled to nothing. Good show.

The length of this chapter was much better for the reader, long enough to keep the momentum of the story going but not too long as to make a reader plow through it. Good Job. Can't wait for the rest of the story. Thanks for your hard work.

. . . so far, and for making the chapters longer. It is 4AM and I really must sleep now, can't wait for the next installment.

I liked the longer chapter length, it helps with with flow when reading. I like the way the story is coming together. I can't believe his wife is so balls to the wall to fuck him over, especially when he keeps thinking his marriage was so strong previously. What a bitch, even willing to perjure herself. I'm glad he's starting (and only starting) to play hard ball with her. I'm looking forward to hearing what she was saying to her lover and if she had been having a long term affair herself. I hope that in the end he ends up burying her, her lover and his mother (who should be on his side, at least long enough to hear both side of the story).

This really is one of the most gripping stories I've ever read on Literotica. More of a thriller than an erotic story. Absolutely great. Can't wait for the rest.

Very good. You are on a roll. Don't pay any attention to yapping dogs.

Can't wait for more.

The longer chapter length is better. It allows the installment time to really push things forward. The old boyfriend is an interesting touch. It's almost too convenient except that you could argue that that affects her current attitude. Also, such a headstrong ADA has surely made a few enemies among the police and local figures. I can't wait to see if that comes back to haunt her.

At this point (though maybe your character can't admit it) the marriage is, and should be, over. Trust is just as important as fidelity here and she can't be trusted.

enjoyed it

Sure there were a few typos but we all have them. The readers are getting far more than they are paying for here! It is a gripping tale. Thanks!

Your writing is excellent and plotting was very special. Thanks for putting more information in this chapter. Her willingness to perjure herself put me decidedly against her so that I would have counter-filed immediately and.... hung her on perjury, which would have been great pay-back for Ms. ADA.

The thing that really worries me is what happened to Heidi. The forging of the affadavit is understandable if there was no signature on the first page.

Down here I learned early to initial and date every page in a legal document.

Of course, there is the nature of the argument between Jake and Susie just before he travelled. It sound like she had all ready ceased making love and may have all ready given it up.

Amazing tale. I would say this story will place you in the top 10 of Lit.Authors. So much better than the wham bam stories, solely written for the sex acts. This one is entertaining with a great story line. Thank you very much and please continue.

I am really enjoying your work. Thanks for combining the chapters into today's submission. I think having so many more pages made it a much better read. I don't care how many times this plot has been done, your work is of very good quality. I could even see this as being made into a "Lifetime" network movie.

Again, thank you. Keep it up. And I hope you're already at work on your next piece.

This was much better in terms of length. It gave me a chance to really get into the feel and flow of the story. You are taking several plot lines and doing an excellent job with them. Yes, they have been done before, but then there are only so many ways to tell this type of tale. Your characters feel real, generate emotion, and act in ways that are consistent with who you have created them to be. Well done.

Your first submission was good, but this one is much better! Glad to see you lengthened the submission as it allowed the stoy to progress better. The plot lines are moving forward nicely and i can't wait to read the next chapter and epilogue. I did notice a few typos in the body of the story, not sure if they are from conversion for the site or your error but all in all it was very readable.

Never in the years of reading literary here have I seen a story so masterful written and thought out. This was clearly demonstrated in the arguments presented by the author in both meetings, one at the legal firm and the other meetings held in conferences about his pending divorce.

In this story the author clarify his previous chapters and brings his readers up to date to the plot of this story and artfully wraps all of the his narratives together to outline the conspiracy and mystery of the main character’s situation.

Well written and an excellent plot and a unique perspective, Thank you for sharing

This is my first comment on a story here, though I've been reading for some time. This is developing into a very good story, and I'm looking foward to reading more and finding out where this goes. One minor point: I'm a lawyer in Texas, and though (thankfully) I have no family law experience, it's my understanding that courts here don't particularly give a rip about adultery, and wouldn't be inclined to award seperate property to the other spouse regardless of circumstances. But hell, it's a fictional story, right? Great job so far, winterfoxx.

<p>the first two chapters were good except for the length. The briefness of the two chapters made them frustrating an underwhelming.</p>

<p>But the third submission is far better. A writer has to learn these things. My first lesson was: don't make the paragraphs too long (they are hard to read on a screen); and don't just tickle the reader ---- give them some substance.</p>

<p>My conjecture is: Heidi signed a statement but it had a different first page. The second page of the statement was innocuous and had her signature. The first page was inflammatory and did not have her signature. Ergo: the first page was replaced after she signed the document.</p>

<p>Where is she? Blackmailed to disappear is one possibility.</p>

<p>Good story, well told.</p>

This is a really engaging story, and very well told. I am beginning to love and hate the characters - which I believe is a mark of success. And here is one little comment directed at other reviewer/commenters (especially after Chapter 2): As regards specific points in this story that don't exactly fit-up with the reality of The Law, or what the reviewer thinks about how people would react "in reality", I offer the writings of Stephen King. This is a fictional tale, for crying out loud. And this reader thinks its a mighty good one.

Thank you, Winterfoxx. I wish I could spin a yarn as well as you do. Keep writing.

I apologize for my previous comments. This is well written and very interesting. So much better than the first two chapters. Now if you would get away from the annoying author habit of multiple day submissions, write a whole story and submit it, you could well be on your way to Literotica Stardom.

I've been drawn in since the 1st paragraph of Chapter 1 and the story won't let me go. I'm impatiently waiting for the next installment.

This is the most interesting story since Wader's John Conner adventures (LCFSW etc applies here too although perhaps Susie is just a psychotic victim). I can't imagine this relationship working out - the wife is just too dangerous. Even if she repented, she could never ever be trusted, and it sounds like she's too stubborn to admit that she's wrong. The old boyfriend attorney was a great twist, especially with his sister being the supposed cheatee. I thought it was strange that the husband didn't tell the cops and the doctor the truth about what happened to him, but perhaps that too will be made clear. Looking forward to Ch. 04!

This reads like a book. A very well written thriller. I am totally hooked by this story. I can't wait to find out what happens, hopefully Susie will find out exactly what happened and I hope she regrets gettign involved with the husbands enemy. Bring on chapter 4.

At least you resolved the issue about an ADA committing felonies, though you still have an ADA willfully committing felonies. To be blunt, she shouldn't be allowed to prosecute.

One of the best in this category!

Go on - I hope the last part is as good as part 3

My official rating is "shit sucks" until that plot point gets covered. If it doesn't, 0/100 for the whole story.

i love how the chapter ended. i just hope that this story does not end in reconciliation.

emotionally, and very gripping. You've got a lot of us readers checking every day for the next installment! Keep it up, and thanks--ohio

This is extremely well written. I enjoy all the fact gathering and wonder where everything is headed. Jake has surrounded himself with a good team, now if he can only find his AA. Can't wait for the next chapter. Great story, thanks for sharing.

Wow! What a great improvement in this installment. Now the police have been involved, and the hospital has identified the substance on Jake's face as semen. They should have a sample to use for DNA test if needed. That would really tie both of the adulters (so I mispelled it) to Jake's attact.

We have a good clue as to Susie's quick jump to conclusions by her statement " You both are fucking lying cheating men just like...". Could have that been her father that so warped her when he left her mother? She needs a lot of counciling on that. Last statement was just an aside.

Keep up the good work. I, too, have been glued to my chair since I started reading this installment.

I agree with some of your critics about chapter length initially, but if the story wasn't so good, I wouldn't care!

One of the best stories I have ever read on here...please ...keep it up.

ok, I am hooked. Griping keeps the readers attention. Hurry up with the next installment.

As a criminal defense attorney (and former prosecutor), I find Susie to be an absolutely believable character, almost a stereotypical female ADA. The dean of our jurisdiction's criminal bar has wisely observed that the difference between a terrorist and a female ADA is that you can reason with a terrorist.

but he should have washed his hands of the cheating wife the night she started all this ...when he first saw schmidt...id take her, schmidt , my former law firm all to the cleaners....when the smoke cleared id own the builing and the practice or the equivalent price to own it...plus my wife n schmidt would own the orange clothes on their back n what the warden provided them to sleep on and eat ...fuck em up buddy ...and forget taking the bitch back...find some one to fuck have a kid ...but dont marry again with the money youll have you wont need to do anything except sign the checks...

I am having trouble with some of the actions taken by our mistreated husband. He is supposedly very analytical by nature, yet does some very impulsive things; like going to Heidi's home to try to talk to her, when he has been warned by his attorney and investigator not to do that.

The story is interesting, but this Wife is one to dump and dump hard. How anyone could deal with the steel trap of a judgemental mind is beyond me. This is the kind of personality that sends innocent people to prison and will never admit they were wrong.

Nothing takes the wind out of good stories like long waits between chapters.

This is an edge of your seat read! Can't wait for the next chapter.

A fine story, believable characters and well crafted. Its hard to accept that this is your first story. Keep it up, the writing I mean.

The first two chapters were good, but this one is great! I absolutely love the twist with Bill's sister. I anxiously await the next (final?) chapter.

cleared up some questions. Maybe Jake won't need that much lube, though it seems Susan still wants to break it off in his ass. Lawyer against lawyer, wife against husband, thats not so bad. Heidi appears to be the key, find the lock it fits, unlock at your own risk Jake. Don't rush this story on my account, its already turned in a direction not expected. Analytical Jake has become impulsive, and fast thinking Susan has become vindictive, what else are we not privy to?

...your main character is frustrating.

What I mean is this, your main character is, I'm assuming by all he's doing innocent, but he was attacked, restrained to a chair, forced to watch his wife have sex with his worst enemy, had her climb on his face and rub her laden crotch (that just had a deposit from her lover) on his face, twist his nuts until he passed out, dumped at a hospital where she didn't really care if he lived or died, told everyone (family and friends) what he did, but kept what she did to him as revenge in the dark, and your character is "desperately" fighting to say married to her.

Do you know what was defined as Battered wife (now Battered Persons) syndrome is? You might want to check because your main character has it. But in a nut shell taken from a definition of it: <i>Such persons usually refuse to press criminal charges against their abuser, and refuse all offers of help, often becoming aggressive or abusive to others who attempt to offer assistance. Often sufferers will even seek out their very abuser for comfort shortly after an incident of abuse.</i>

That describe your main character. He's fighting everyone to stay married to someone who literally couldn't have cared if he died on the table because he cheated on her. And he wants to stay married to that?

See your character is frustrating. You're a good writer, clear and concise (and we all make little errors, part of being human) but it just frustrates me that the character is designed as someone who is supposed to be smart enough to be considered for a partnership at a law firm, yet is so desperate to stay with his abusive wife that he can't see straight. I could see him doing "all" of this to prove his innocence, but not to keep "Begging" for a reconciliation as he keeps doing from her.

-Risq

Very Nicely Done! I'm hoping at the end of the story that you don't revert to the same old story of letting the ones who did not believe in Jake innocence be forgiven. While it being harsh, I could not even begin to forgive my mother if she took sides against me without listening to me. I hope that you will have Jake sue each one of the partners individually and the firm as a whole for the hatchett job they are trying to force him to accept. Vicky should be investigated by the state bar and both Schmidt and Susie should get jail time with Jake getting everything that they both own as compensation. My wishful thinking. As most have said, the first two chapters gave the impression that this story was a kind of story like Hildy, but after reading this third chapter I think it more like the story 'Jim and Sharon' by curious2c. I just hope that Jake is as vicious as Jim was in that story. Eagerly await further chapters!

What a great job! I enjoyed your writing very much and can hardly wait for your next chapter. Like an artist, you paint a picture that stirs the emotions.

Cant wait to see what else comes to light.

Maybe Schmidt will give it up On Camera In Living Color.

Telling little Susie how she was just a Piece to win Partnership.

The opening premise was farfetched, but I'm even beginning to believe you might have a solution to those beginning departures from the believable. Whether you do bring those to solution, this is a great story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I don't know where this is going, but I could not take the bitch back under any circumstances. I'm surprised that she hasn't been arrested. This woman does not deserve a good man. Your story does show that as in real life, most prosecutors are ass holes.

Can wait to see what happens next.

You have done a masterful job. This story is proceeding along a variety of lines all of them very interesting. I really look forward to seeing the final chapters. I sure hope you keep writing.

I generally have no problem with a story that is based on a wild premise..In this case, what the wife did on Friday. People say and do stupid things all the time. Even people that should know better. The fun part (and it seems like you agree) is how it gets resolved. I do have some problems with stories on that. where the husband frames people, takes the kids and money and goes to another country all without anyone catching on. All this requiring and experience skills most people will never had. Only because it seems like a cheap way to end the story. Maybe 20 or 30 years ago, but with computers and law enforcement being what they are , unlikely to happen now. This author has taken the time, thought and effort to makes this at least plausible within the context of the story.

because the wife was over the top, illeagl restraints, assault, committing bodily injury and she was supposedly an ADA? Then the wild contradictions between the characters and his incredible attempt to reconcile with the woman who damn near castrated him...WTF??? However, as the story has progressed, the characters have evolved and his parting thought, "I don't even know you anymore" is an epiphany. Thank you for continuing to write. I look forward to more.

It is a long time since any story on this site gripped me so much.I am really looking forward with keen anticipation to the next installment.A very well writen story.

This has got to be one of the best stories i have read on Literotica. Reminds me of the old Agatha Christie stories I used to read when I was young. The only thing that could improve the story is by making Jake half way intelligent. Every time the author has Jake say "I know I should not be doing this" he does it. Then dummy refuses to tell the investigating police anything about his night of terror with his wife and her lover.. His reason is so stupid I won't repreat it. Still a great story though. Congratulatios author.

60 year old George

glad u took it away from the "hildy" copy of 1st two chapers.

EXCELLENT CHAPTER

This was far better than the 2nd posting. There is much more of interest going on in this release. He's still getting beat up by his adversary but is finally clawing his way out of the pit they put him in. He has cash and has built up his support team. They have started to find evidence to support him. The video capture of Susie and the slimeball dropping him at the hospital is devastating. She had lied to her attorney, denying any involvement in his assault. Now he has proof she is lying. Further, I'm sure the conversation will cause Susie even more problems. Her days as any type of lawyer should be numbered. She has no excuse for her behavior. She KNOWS the legal steps she could have taken in response to a cheating husband. She chose to step outside the law and she deserves to pay for it. Also, she is not interested in love, she is interested only in vengeance. She needs to be faced with the incontrovertible proof that he is innocent and her own guilt in attacking him and cheating on him. She needs to suffer and I hope he is man enough to pull it off. At this point she has racked up too much for any reconciliation. She is a crazy bitch.

<br>

And as for the slimeball, loss of job and legal standing and a long jail term sounds right. Oh yeah, a civil suit to bankrupt him.

<br>

And lets not forget his legal firm. They deserve some comeuppance. They essentially lynched him in a kangaroo court. They should know far better than that. Either he gets a devastating settlement against them or they are all forced to resign. Also public statements in his firm describing what was done to him, who in the firm took poor action against him, and a groveling apology should even things up. His "friend" Vicky needs a kick in her ass as well. She should know better than to be snarky.

<br>

This has been a really great story up to now. I look forward to a solid finish.

I have just read your comments at the start of this chapter and wanted to make this comment before I went any further. I hope you will not let the people that make hateful comments as anonymous discourage you from writing more stories. I am like some others, I thought the first two chapters were really short. Just enough to get me drooling for more. I have been watching for this next chapter for days. I am not an eloquent person so I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I hope to be seeing more from you. Now I'm going to go back to the start and read this chapter.

Bravo, you have really thrown a twist and new characters into the story and it is only getting better. I agree others that your an excellant writer and find this very enjoyable and wondering what is going to happen next. So I will stand by and see where you take it. As for the nameless comments, they are a fart in the breeze. Here and gone. Your doing good so far and I only encourage you to continue. Thanks.

I hope you don't mind my words. I think you are great writer,eventhough you overdid the length of the chapter this time. more than 2 or 3 literotica chapters for a chapter are way to long. then I also think you better head on a side for crime or homicide stories, at least I hope you think as I do. or did you see anything erotic so far ? I hope not otherwise world war 2 would be your kind of groupsex. violance like in part one is way to high. shit heads with almost no respect and decency towards a human being , even if they exist have no place , not as an excecutive in an enterprise not in a law firm. I'm almost positive if you invest the same amout of time to write an erotic story your a great succes as this is a good story but unfortunately wrong place. and of course I'm waiting for conclusion on this one and I hope that a sentence like "kiss my ass" is not the most erotic you able to write.

You are a good writer and open to suggestions, which is critical. I enjoyed these chapters very much, while also not enjoying them at all. This story just fills me with anger at the characters. That is a wonderful thing, that you can connect your readers to your characters in such an engaging way. Just please finish the story before I have an embolism :) Too many lawyers, too much anger, hehe

Jake should just go to the meetings of abused husbands at Bed Bath and Beyond!!!

Excellent! Ignore the crtical trash.

Just goes to show you, you can't please everyone.

Keep up the good work, it's enjoyable reading.

This is terrible, I'm bleeding from the ears waiting for the next posting.

BTW I can see a HUGE hole in the "evidence" they have against him. Wake up Bud!

If you can pull 50+ comments on a story in the very first day of posting it, this means that you have steared up the reader`s feelings pretty much. I loved this chapter and can't wait for the conclusion of this story.

You did a fantastic job on this. I know some are confused about the characters but if they read through the comments from the first two chapters they will see you had adopted some of their own suggestions so it seems a little stilted for that reason. You are an excellent writer and I really look forward to seeing many more stories from you. Can't wait for the next installment. Thanks.

F@#$ing brilliant story! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Sean

for the longer chapters! It makes the wait worth it. Also the legal plotting is getting better, but I think you have some earlier problems not solved yet in relation to the assault. But I am enjoying the roller coaster you have us on.

Since this is your first story, you have done an excellent job so far. There's no doubt you will have a brilliant career as a writer in the future. Cheers Roger.

Awesome!. Please dont make the readers wait...for the next chapter.

It seems obvious now that his nemesis has concocted this whole thing up. You will need to explain why his wife would believe such a story. It seems obvious now that Susie has some major emotional/personality problems that would trigger such a response. That is assuming that she was not part of the plan. If she is, you have to make her reasoning sound because so far that wouldn’t fly.

Another concern for you will be explaining why Schmidt would contrive such a sophisticated plot. It is so hard to do and still get away with it. Either he assumed the hero would roll over (yeah, what decent attorney would do that) or for some reason didn’t care about the consequences.

Frankly, Jake has not been acting much like an attorney. An affidavit, even notarized, does not a witness make. A PI should first seek out the notary to verify the signature and find out how he/she established identity. For example, was a copy of the driver’s license made? If this came to trial, the statement is about useless. Under family law, he would have the right to subpoena her and take her deposition. This is not a mistake an attorney would make. Schmidt would have been better served using a prostitute.

Next, is the question of the trail of evidence. Unless they can document how they got the pictures, they would not be admissible in court. You explained how Jake didn’t move at all, but how about Heidi?

Thanks for finally getting in the hospital records. However, by letting her know of the record, he lost a powerful weapon.

Lastly, as a plot device the preliminary meeting was convenient, but not sound. It did let her former boyfriend show her she was wrong. However, when dealing with emotional people, it's better to get it all in order before you try to negotiate.

Thanks again, I am looking forward to the next two sections. - Ttom

Not much of a sex story, but I am on the edge of my seat. Looking forward to the next installment. Well done, you.

An excellent sorry – full of thrill, suspense and emotion. I myself have 2 minor doubts though:

a) Jake had never even gotten a clue what a monster he married 6 years ago (self-centered, callous and vindictive bitch)?

b) Even though I have in mind her position & connections I’m a little uncertain how she was able to set everything in motion and arrange all details just in a couple of days? She got the “evidence” Thursday night and by Sunday morning everything was in place – revenge fuck, restraining order, accounts changed, his parents informed, divorce filed, etc. It seems to me more like a plan that has been prepared for a long time.

Keep on writing, please!

I correctly predicted that his nemisis was behind things. I'm still not sure if there was collusion prior to the Thursday that she received the pictures. Regardless, SUPERB writing. Hope for more, tomorrow! drmike

I am glad you are not posting one page chapters, that was going to be really annoying. I can't wait to see how things turn out

Fantastic! A great story!!!And Susie must pay!

Female prosecutors always think they´re God.

against incredible odds, it just gets more and more unbelievably gibberish! I wanted to stop reading after the second page, but forced myself to read it all the way through. My god! I find that Susie not only fucked Jake --- who, with the author's help, spends now close to 10 meticulously crafted pages of denying, pleading, begging, and swearing at Susie --- but she did the same thing to Bill, who is now Jake's divorce lawyer, and after these 10 years, even poor Bill is still arguing, begging, and swearing when it comes to Susie. Both Bill and Jake's balls are held in an imaginary vise, and they both, intermittently plea and beg for Suzie to ABSOLVE them of crimes they keep trying to convince her they've committed????? Are you, dear author, serious?????

Yeah, as Suzie --- who is a clear, calculating cheater, although BOTH men want to DENIAL it, as they are too stupid to know "for sure" --- said: all this time, with both men, every time they meet, they PRETEND to be smart and pretend to be ready... but they keep saying to Suzie and her lawyer: "We will provide you with the evidence, which we THINK will conclusively vindicate our client, EACH OTHER, from the crimes Suzie here has accused them, US, of having done, crimes which we had never done"! You have gotta be kidding, right, dear author??? LOL

If you don't like it, why do you "force yourself to read it?" Why don't you move on to something more your style?

Susie is a nut case and in real life, it would have shown up a bit earlier. This is a story and better written than most. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Miss high and mighty was taken down by Bill and now it seems her once loving husband will not have anything to do with her again since she has been soiled. I knew of a woman that would not admit that she was ever in the wrong by was always right, so there are those types out there. You live by the sword and you die by the sword.

Someone's been talking to Tigerrr!!! Knock the froth off another matey, set yur final tack, 'n head for the finish.

I CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE REST, BUT I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO!

I am enjoying your story and am

looking forward to more.

What else can I say, I was a little confused by the Heidi in the first story.

I thought his cheating was a done deal. Not much story after that.

I saw your correction and kept reading. I'm glad I did.

Thanks

... of the best stories I've read here in a while. It's a good read and kept me wanting more. Great job just keep going!!

if his life with Susie can be put back together. Any woman who destroys her husbands balls, fucks another guy in front of him and drops him off at the hospital as so much garbage -- all without giving him a chance to talk -- is the bitch of all time. He should be counting his blessings that he is well rid of her while exacting his revenge and proving his innocents. However, a great thriller!!!!

winterfoxx. Enjoyed it so far and look forward to the conclusion.

There are always idiots ready to bash an author's work. Disregard the jealous fools. Those that can, do. And those that can't, can still appreciate some fine work (most of us, anyways)! Keep it up! Can't wait for # 4 and the epilogue. Thanks!

finish soon please...

This is one of the best stories I've read on Lit! Thanks and keep going.

This is a very good story, I am enjoying it.

You have written the story in the first person, and that works well in many cases. It serves to heighten the tension and shows your point of view very clearly. The alternative would have been from the third person as most novels are written.

You use present tense and past tense interchangeably, you switch from one to the other. I feel you could make the story telling a bit smoother by sticking to past tense. Present tense is normally used when writing a script, and the directions are being written down ex. 'Bill moves over to the passenger seat while Joan gets out the door and gets in the driver side' as a paragraph, after which dialogue continues.

On the other hand, in a story it makes better reading when it is written 'I moved over to the passenger seat, not having the strength to get out, while Joan got out, walked over to the driver's side and got in'.

Keep writing and making use of your obvious talent!

I'se been cursing you as I read the second installment I figured no ending and I hate that, it reminds me of the Jean-Luc-Godard movies - a tragic life story and no real ending - It's supposedly philosophical it should make you think except that when I work hard I expect entertainment not something to make me think how shitty I am and on top of it pay for it to see this.

This is a real good story and its got all I like thank you for writing it and I look forward to read more.

As for the Heidi laughing mistake no forgiveness three Ave Maria and two Pater Noster that is my sentence, there are other mistakes in the genre of "their" and "there", some (not you) do mistake waist and waste and I only wonder how English speaking people can do this (I'm French speaking).

Thanks again for a good story and by the way the Houston oilers were always losers... (smile).

it actually are a very interesting story, though no sex are present, but for god's sake have Jake make a stand of NOT wanting to make it out with Susie, this rubbish about him having hope for them maybe to work things out once the plot has been revealed are really annoiyng and making the story bad. Cary on and have Jake decide to prove his innoncence and destroy both Smith and Susie, having Susie regret her up til now obvious self righteous behavior and stubborn accusations.

Some of the critics say you didn't elaborate or went into details.

I believe if you would you could probably level with a Nelson DeMille, or Crichton if you would elaborate this story, what you wrote is quite possible and reminds me of books like 'Gold coast - DeMille -' these were all credible characters, just like yours heck I knew a DA who got caught dealing with coke I knew him and he was a nice person who made some mistakes and got caught.

A story like yours here could be a best seller

Include the actions of the PI.

Make the trips between Houston and Dallas a bit longer maybe?

He seems to have flown twice Houston and Dallas on the same day?

It's true I crossed Texas in one afternoon following a truck at a 100 mph but was the panhandle...(smile).

at this point NO ONE in the story KNOWS what the wife DID to him.

NO ONE .

The faggot wimp husband was dumped at the hospital Multilated Tortured and has lost one of his balls and may never be able to father children.

and No none knows.

The fact that the wife is sure he is cheating does NOT explain why the pussy faggot husband hasnt gone to the wife boss and newspapers.

DSure from an idiot like theBullet you can always expect high praise and scores. But the rest of people ate fucking idiots

The wife being an ADA kills it. She commits at least 5 felonies

to get back at her husband ... because she is a tad jealous?

come on

in the "cheating wives" genre. I have upped my vote in each chapter. However, I recommend finding a good editor, not so much for the typo's, but the wrong words, tenses, and the more important services a good one provides. I hope you continue to submit for a long time; there are relatively few top notch authors still active in this genre.

I'm actually struggling with all the story, but I can see you put a lot of effort into it and it is well written...Mancelt.

This wonderful story has now reached a milestone that very few LITEROTICA stories have ever reached. Only one in four thousand LITEROTICA submissions get 100 comments - you've joined this elite company.

I would like to offer you my heartiest congratulations on behalf of myself and all your fellow club members.

Gabby

Secretery, 100+ COMMENT CLUB

Good So Far! Actually this is my third time to read this story.