tagNon-EroticDilemma Continued Ch. 01

Dilemma Continued Ch. 01


Part 1 The continuing story of Chris and Lorelei

Chris, and Cindy's wishes

These stories will not stand alone, the reader should read both Dilemma and Dilemma -- Lorelei's Story by Joesephus first. When I read his stories I felt that unfortunately he left us before he could resolve the dilemma of the relationship between Lorelei, Cindy and Chris. One more sinned against than sinning, another battling health problems and Chris so devastated that what he believes was done to him by Lorelei, becomes the real world until he meets Cindy, a girl who believes in him enough to try to put him back together again. I hope that my attempt to try to provide closure between three unfortunate people lives up to the standard set by Joesephus. This is my first submission and any constructive criticism is welcome.

Also, in this series of chapters the characters are not based on any actual person living or dead, and where any educational institution is named, it is for story purposes only and does not infer any actual wrongdoing on the part of that institution or by any of it's personnel


Dazed, that was exactly how I felt when I held the appointment card from Lorelei. I couldn't figure how Lorelei would have known about Cindy's eggs until I thought to myself, "Cindy you have obviously been up to something, but I wish you had told me what it was before you were called home". Just then one of the babies began to fuss so I put the card down and by the time I got the babies settled for the night I was getting pretty frazzled. Any parent knows what the Terrible Twos are like and two of them are double trouble. I don't know if it was deliberate or not, but the appointment card had slipped my mind, and I didn't think of it for a couple of days

Several days later I was at work when I got a call from an Allan Jerome, apparently he was Cindy's lawyer. Someone else I didn't know. I had been aware that she had someone working on her behalf about her books and royalties but I had never met him. He sat me down in his office and apologized for not contacting me earlier. He had been away in Europe and had missed the news of Cindy's death. He handed me a copy of her will which he said had been modified a few months earlier. It was pretty straight forward, a few little bequests of mementos to her family and all else was left to me, except for the royalties to her books which were to be placed in a trust fund for the education of our children. I was quite happy with this.

We sat back with coffees and Allan said, I've always wanted to meet the man who won Cindy's heart, She told us so much about you and how you had become her whole life. She made you a giant of a man at least in her heart. I think she knew that before too long something was going to happen and left me with another package for you in case it did. She told me to ask you to read it all through to the end, and that if anything hurt you to please bear with her. Some of what you will read she fully intended to tell you at some point, until her illness caught up with her. She wanted to use the remaining time to allow you to enjoy each other and the babies. He gave me a large, heavy manila envelope addressed to me in Cindy's hand. I told him that I didn't want to read the material then and would take it home. I did ask Allan whether he would act as a trustee for Cindy's trust fund for the children and whether he would act for me in the future and he happily agreed to both.

I went home with a heavy heart wondering if I should open the package or not. I was scared at what I might find inside. I showed it to Sandy, my sister in law. She had been looking after the babies and I asked her to stay until they were fed and in bed asleep. I wanted to talk to her about the package. She called home to Jim and told him that she was going to be late and might stay over as she felt that the twins and I were going to need someone for a little while. Once the children were settled, we settled in armchairs with a glass of wine, and I told Sandy that I was really scared about opening it. If there was something that was bad about Cindy I didn't really want to hear it, in case it harmed my memories of her. Sandy's answer was that she only knew what Cindy had told her about a part of her life, that there could have been more but knowing the way Cindy felt about me and the children, if Cindy had written something that might hurt, it was because she felt that it would be important for me to know. With some trepidation, I opened the envelope.

In the package were several envelopes, one in Cindy's hand said Read Me First so I opened it and began to read.

My dearest Chris

If you are reading this then we have been parted for a while. I have been feeling rough now for a few days and when I saw my doctor she told me that the heart may be showing some signs of rejection. We both knew that this was a possibility and were prepared for it. She explained the options, and it was either to try stronger medications, or another transplant. I opted for the medications because the blessings that have been given me since the transplant have been so great that I could not deny them to another by taking another heart. I am ready to meet my maker and the first thing I will do is thank him for allowing the happiness that we have had. I will miss bringing our babies up with you, but I know that if any man can do a great job of that, it is you.

Our other two babies should be given their chance at life, you know my feelings on that and depending on you they will be, why that will depend on you is as follows. Please my love, keep on reading even though it may hurt. Believe me the hurt will ease and it will be no worse than the hurt I feel as I write things that I wish I were there to say.

You may have had, or you will get a card for the fertility clinic and that card will be from Lorelei. Even if Jim were willing there is no way that Sandy could handle being a surrogate again. Our twins will always be a part of her too, that is why she is always so willing to help with them. Why Lorelei? The woman you believe spurned you for the embrace of a university professor. Please bear with me while I explain.

Once we decided to marry, I knew that I had to meet Lorelei if only to understand what had happened between the two of you, because you just couldn't handle discussing her in any way. When we met your family, I had already asked your mother to take me to meet her so on that girl's afternoon out when we went to look at the church we got together. I expected someone who was maybe a bit of an airhead, I figured anyone who would cheat on you was not in their right mind. Imagine my surprise when I met a very smart capable lawyer who had no qualms about telling me what happened.

Lorelei told me she didn't date, had no boyfriends, said she didn't have a lot of time. She had already had Professor King lose his job on charges of sexual harassment charges regarding her and two other women and was trying to get him disbarred. She told me she resented that you never gave her a chance to explain, what happened, how she felt but she doesn't feel that you should have stayed with her. She described herself as a slut and a whore who deserved what she got. She still uses her married name though. She represents a lot of women who have ended up getting raw deals from employers, teachers and the like but she doesn't touch divorce.

We kept in touch over the years since you and I married, mostly by phone. I didn't want to keep it a secret from you, but I was scared of your reaction, you were so against her. Bit by bit she told me the whole story, about King offering to give her the ride to Dallas, then taking her to dinner at the hotel, then going back to his room and even though she found it against everything she wanted and believed in, having sex with him even though she loathed it.

She told me that she was just about to light into him in front of the crowd and tell him that she was going to have him investigated for sexual harassment and assault,then she saw you arrive, all the fight went out of her and all she could talk was nonsense. Then of course King grabbed her, took her out on the dance floor, and while you were leaving threatened her with what would happen if she talked. After she had partially recovered, she went up to his room and hammered on his door, accusing him of ruining her life. To get rid of her the slimeball had her taken to a mental hospital by the police

You would be absolutely right to ask me why I would end up befriending the woman who you felt ruined your life. My answer, and this is where the shock will come to you and Sandy, is there but for the grace of God go I. This is the first time I have told this to anybody who loves me. Sandy told you that in my first year at University I was not exactly the queen of virtue. I began to straighten out in the second year, dating less, studying more even going to Christian meetings. However my sex life was still pretty active if more hidden. The only difference was that instead of college boys and parties I had discovered professors. There is no way that I can describe the heady feeling that a female student can get when she realizes that this teacher with the great brain is interested in her, the dazzling feeling that she gets. After years of being expected as a female to take second place somebody is actually treating her as if her opinion and thoughts matter. The thought that they may just be doing that to get into your pants doesn't even register.

I had two relationships, one with a math professor Peter Jenkins, it lasted a couple of months. I felt he respected me, treated me well, the sex wasn't that great but we got on well. After a while the fire died down and we decided to call it quits. Then I met up with a real fireball, a philosophy professor, David Allan. He had a great mind, explained his thoughts well, treated me like a queen and the sex was just great. Trouble was he was just another Professor King. Let's face it, most teachers in university are just ordinary people trying to do a good job but there are the ones like King and David Allan who are totally unscrupulous and should never be allowed near students. After a month with Allan I found out two things, one was that I was one of a number of lovers that he was stringing along, the other was that I was pregnant.

I went to his office one day, interrupting a liason with his secretary and blurted out that I was pregnant. His answer was "how do I know it's mine?". I told him that he was the only one that I was having sex with and that when the child was born blood and DNA tests would show he was the father. He just bent over, opened his desk drawer and took out a check book. He looked straight at me and said how much is it going to cost me never to hear of this again. I couldn't believe the words. The shock to my mind was tremendous. I ran from his office went to my dorm and didn't leave my room for two days. I wish I had found the fortitude that Lorelei did dealing with King. She did something about it, I chose to hide. I didn't tell anybody about being pregnant apart from the university clinic and doctor.

You know my views on terminating pregnancies so I was planning to have my baby regardless and probably put it up for adoption, but the good Lord decided for me. About 9 weeks into the pregnancy I suffered a miscarriage and cried on my own for a couple of weeks. Then I looked at myself in the mirror, cleaned myself up and started into a counseling program at the church which helped me a great deal. I had a great counselor who helped me see that I was the party who had been wronged. I had been taken advantage of by an unscrupulous person who cared nothing for me. It wasn't my fault that Allan had traded on my faith and trust in my instructors to seduce me, I had accepted him at face value, just as we do other people that we let into our lives, he was the one who had taken that faith and twisted it.

That episode became the end of the dating and sex. I applied myself to my studies, graduated and followed my career. That is until the fateful day that I went to that fertility clinic and you started my heart doing flip flops. Let's face it, you know the rest, it's our family history.

Now you know the worst, I hope I haven't hurt you by telling you, I know I should have told you even before we were married but I just couldn't it has always been that dark period that I couldn't share with anyone, just like that dark period in your life between walking out of that hotel in Dallas and ending up in Philadelphia that you have never been able to tell me about, let's say I know all about feeling that way. Been there, done that, but luckily I met you.

The rest of the package is Lorelei's story, as she told me, and a summary of what she has done on behalf of other women and herself to get rid of teachers like Professor King and others like him. Please my dear, read it because I think that if you do, as the much wiser person that you are now you will see things in a much different light. When Professor King happened on the scene, both you and Lorelei were much younger, much more inexperienced and far more idealistic than you both are now. Besides, I think there was more in what happened than meets the eye and merits careful investigation by someone with a good knowledge of the school and the people, see if you agree with me.

I will always love you and look forward to us meeting again on the other side of the veil, your loving wife


Feeling absolutely dazed I handed the letter over to Sandy, when she was finished reading, through her tears she said. " I always felt there was something else in Cindy's life, for a while, Cindy didn't contact us or visit, kept herself to herself but then once she was her normal cheerful self, she never said a word about her life. What are you going to do with the rest of the material and more important, the other two eggs?".

I told Sandy that I didn't know, that I was going to have to sleep on it, that I still didn't really want to know what had happened, Lorelei had gone to someone else, and I still had difficulty handling that. Sandy's answer was "Chris, you know that Cindy trusts and wants you to do something that she was unable to finish. There is no way that she would want you to stay static in your life, she expects you to move on with your life and the lives of your children, and doing what she asks of you would be a tremendous start". "While you sleep on it, do you mind if I read the rest". I told her to go ahead, and that I was going to bed, I really appreciated her being with us and would see her in the morning and I hoped that I would have come to a decision by then.

To be continued

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