Dilly 02

Dilly 02

"What the hell do you mean those weren't the last of bowl games, roomie?!?!? I mean, we just watched the Plum Bowl, the Apple Seed Bowl, the Banana Peel Bowl and then the Seedless Grape Bowl, so what the hell then, Ethan?"

"LOL, relax Dilly, we're going to watch the Thorny Flower Bowl at the Sports Bar tonight. I mean, for some reason, Brent wants to hammer down a bunch of cheeseburgers, so."

"Oh, I mean, well, fine then, but don't come home staggering with a car full then. But, I mean, if Brent gets a little drunk, I mean, he can handle like three cheeseburgers, so."

Oh, before I forget, I mean, I just wanted to thank all of you who responded to my survey on Chang and deemed me as "sexually active" based on how I took Brent with my mouth and for then how Brent flipped me on the bed and mounted me with his slightly under body weight and jabbed away at me until he left his second mess running down between my cheeks! I mean, being labeled as "sexually active" is more exciting than you could imagine, so, thanks.

"Huh, that's exactly what Brent said, but listen, I promise that I won't bring a bunch of buzzed up friend's home with me later. I mean, look, you could go out tonight or stay in and prance around the house any way you want to, right?

Hah! Like I had any experience with going out, but there is a first time for everything, right? But one needs to be safe about it and since my roomie is way over protective of me, I mean, I take that and use it to my advantage.

"Well, I mean, maybe I can swing by the highway turn around or something, but if I text you Ethan, then I might need a rescue, so?"

"I mean, of course, I will always protect you, Dilly, but I would feel much better if you went down to the abandoned air field for tonight. I mean, I know it dangerous when a few careless people line up to drag race and all, but the highway turn around has that history of not being all that friendly to cross dressers from time to time, so?"

"Well Ethan, I appreciate your thoughts, but it's just a myth that mad straight guys set Tranny's on fire at the highway turn around, people just set those scenes up for memes, but the abandoned air field is closer to the Sports Bar in case I need a rescue, so."

"And Dilly, I mean, you could wear your fancy cow pattern outfit, right? The one with the stretchy pants that don't show any panty lines, with the matching cow pattern vest and then the blue fishnet over vest and of course, the blue fishnet sleeve gloves and I mean, the hat, right, who could forget the hat then, so? I mean, I mean, the guys really like that outfit, so?"

Well, LOL, that was a lot detail for an outfit that the other "guys" like, wasn't it, folks? I mean, the roomie forgot to mention the matching bikini style and thong undies combo and that it cost like a million dollars all together, so.

"Oh, I mean, roomie, that was a lot of detail for something that the "guys" like, so, I mean, should I wear the matching cow pattern undies too then, Ethan? I mean, from the "guy's" perspective, of course."

"Well, I mean, it's all a matched set, right Dilly and the guys claim that your panty lines disappear when you only wear the thong or maybe it's because you go all commando and I mean, it's pretty dark down at the abandoned air field, so maybe just one pair of undies will do for tonight and I don't know, I mean somewhere in your bedroom you have blue hair extensions that look amazing coming out from your fancy cowboy hat and I mean, it's your night out, so you should select whatever you want to wear then, so?"

Oh, hmmm, right, folks? The "guys" seem to know and like a little too much, but I had a trick up my fingerless fishnet sleeve gloves to help me have a successful night out and to be safe at the same time. I mean, there is a wide variety of people who hang out down at the abandoned air field because of that "no rules" drag racing, but I have a back door safety net with the Abandoned crew and I have a gimmick up my fishnet sleeve to help with the safety cost of entry. I mean, remember from the last chapter when Brent took a few photos of me laying on my bed after he almost sexed me up? Yeah, that gimmick then, so.

LOL, but all that was for later because I still had "roomie boundary" issues to deal with from Ethan.

"I mean, Dilly, maybe you should change right now then before I head up to the Sports Bar to watch the Thorny Flower Bowl game, tee, he. I mean, the guys wouldn't be mad about a photo or two of you in your million dollars cow pattern outfit, so?"

Ah, yeah, we would be addressing "roomie boundaries" and the "guys" for sure, but since Ethan had done such a good job pre-defining my outfit for me and with the way the Lycra blended capri pants molded to me, I mean, OK! Besides, with all of the college bowl games being played, I mean, at least one team had to have a cowboy mascot, right?

Oh, and later, when I have a "talking" with Ethan, I mean, I will give him a few props for his photography skills. I mean, wearing a million dollars cow pattern outfit didn't hurt his work and I barely had to pose much and since it was so the "guys wouldn't be mad" and all, right?

But just after that perverted photo shoot (sure, from both of us), I made my way to the "Stop & Rob" convenience store to swindle my secret weapon out of old man Sid, the night manager. I mean, enter stage left those photos that Brent took of me after he sexed me up and left me laying on the bed half naked then. Yep, that kind of stuff is right up Sid's alley.

I mean, how was I going to cause my usual "stir" if I didn't back up my cow pattern outfit with a few wine coolers for Vicki down at the abandoned air field, right?

[Door dingle, door dingle]

"Hi Sid."

[Ping, send first text]

"I mean, is there any chance that a four pack of pink wine coolers might end up just outside of the back door then? I mean, oops, there's money on the counter and all, so?"

[Views incoming text]

"Oh, oh my, I mean, it's too bad that there isn't a photo with your perfectly round butt cheeks slightly raised up then, Dilly. Nice outfit, by the way."

[Ping, send second text]

"I mean, I'm still pretty much prime beef and all, Sid, so."

"You lie, Dilly. I can see the man juice sheen between your lovely and very shapely buns, so."

"I mean, Sid, the seal has been poked at and sprayed on, but I promise you Sid, my seal is unbroken and I already proved it to someone with visual proof positive, so?"

"(Tease) well, I mean, you are a regular customer and all, so drive around the back in the alley and don't linger in the alley about things. It's a grab and go situation and just when in the hell are you going to grab me then, Dilly?"

[LOL, pokes and pinches Sid's middle section]

"Well, Sid, my new thing is just the right amount of body weight and so far, you're the only one who needs to eat a few less cheeseburgers if you want to mount me, so?"

"Ah, Dilly, I'm too old to mount you, I mean, just suck me off in back then, so?"

Oops, that kind of back fired on me, right?

"Oh, um, Sid, I mean, this is a million dollars outfit and all, so there will be no dropping to my knees tonight, but I will remind you that you're going to lose a nut or six from the photos that I just shared with you anyways, so???"

I mean, LOL, I'd like to say that it works every time, but that was my first attempt, so, hey, wait, then so far, LOL, it works every time!

Also, I mean, I'm not a professional driver, so I had to slow down and linger for just a moment to pick up the four pack of pink wine coolers, which made me realize the real reason Sid didn't want me to linger around. I mean, dirty alley boys, right?

"I mean, are you working tonight then, sweetie?"

"Oh, no, I'm not working, but I am expected somewhere and I have muscle nearby with just a text or a phone call, so."

"Yeah, but what are the chances that you get out of this alley without working me over a little then? Especially while you're looking all cowgirl tonight, so? Also, there are alley rules and you're the one who entered the alley, so?"

I mean, dumbass alley boys, right? I mean, they were standing in the alley and I was already back in my truck, so I just gunned it and yelled out of the window.

"I'm thinking that my chances are pretty good then, guys, so [screech], see you later."

"Tease!"

I mean, LOL, maybe I was a pro driver then, right? Ah, no, but I got lucky and I didn't look back. Well, I'm a nice person, so I swung back around and cruised through the alley again.

"That wasn't very nice of you, you know. I mean, I'm Dilly and I should be respected, so?"

"Oh, well Dilly, you have some nerve swinging back through the alley again then after throwing pebbles on my combat boots with your screeching tires and all, so?"

"Well, I just came back to say that you could be nicer about things, that's all. And there's no shame with you whacking off onto your combat boots to give a nice shine, so?"

"Oh, I mean, you should do for me then, Dilly, so? I mean, you're apparently dressed for milking a cow anyways, so?"

"Asshole. Are you at least going to introduce your rude ass self then? I mean, I was nice enough to come back and all, so?"

"Oh, just call me your Bull and let's get with it then, Silly Dilly, so?"

"Asshole. How many venereal diseases do you have, Bull? And what's your real name then?"

"Fine, cow tease, I'm known as Dirt and I'm down to three venereal diseases, so there's a 30% chance that your lips won't develop cold sores, so?"

Well, once an asshole, always an asshole, I guess, but I was nice about things, right folks? Also, ah, are there actually more than three venereal diseases then?

[Screech, again with more pebbles flying all about]

Now here's the thing with the abandoned air field and its variety of people, LOL, it's not easy to figure out where to park. I mean, pulling up into the OG Drag Racing section would possibly cause a stir that I couldn't handle, right? And pulling into the middle of the straight couple section wouldn't go over all that well either, right? I mean, I can respect that I'm not for everyone, so I had to cruise the parking area a few times before I found a place to back in with the hopes that I was at least near the Abandoned crew people, who I was there to mingle with. LOL, with my pink wine cooler secret weapons.

And I don't know if the wine cooler people planned it that way, but if you stand outside of your truck and slightly jiggle the cardboard four pack holder container, I mean, the bottles clink together, so.

[Jiggle, clink, clink, clink, clink]

I mean, it works every time, right?

"I mean, Dilly, does your over protective roomie know that you're here tonight then? Also, that's quite the outfit you're wearing, sexy cowboy."

[Snags a wine cooler, twist pop the top, fizz, slaps that ass once]

"I mean, Vicki, I was struggling earlier trying to figure out what to wear tonight and then "Bing", my cow pattern outfit just popped out of Ethan's mouth, I mean, it just popped out of my head, so."

"Oh [guzzle], don't tell me then, but it's because the "guys" like it then, right Dilly?"

"Well, I mean, it didn't make them mad, so are you going to introduce me around Vicki or what?"

"Hmmm [guzzle], sure sweetie, but let's do a little fact checking first then. I mean, it's not going to happen, but could you bed me if it came down to that then?"

"Oh, I mean, Vicki, there would be a few inexperienced issues with all that, so?"

"It's alright [guzzle] Dilly, I'm just checking for your honesty, that's all, Dilly. So, what's the plan then for tonight? I mean, that's quite the inviting outfit you're wearing tonight, so? And panty lines free too!"

"Oh, I mean, I'm out for the night and I thought that you could introduce me around a little and then when it became obvious that someone wanted to mount me to keep me sexually active, then we could split and I could take you up to the Pizza Shop so you could talk to Suzie on the side and so that little Timmy could gawk at me in this outfit and while we're there we could have a few pizzas sent back down here to the abandoned air field to feed your crew and then see if everyone chilled out from wanting to keep me sexually active, but if someone steals a kiss or two, well, I'm big with the kissing, so?"

"Oh, [last guzzle] oh my, well Dilly, I mean, I never heard anyone describe things as "being mounted to keep you sexually active" before, but you have my interest with a little Suzie on the side, so, I mean, let's get you introduced around then, shall we?"

[Snags another wine cooler, twist pop the top, fizz, LOL, just takes the container]

"Well Dilly [guzzle], I didn't know that cow ass was so tight then. Anyways, tell me true, Dilly, are you hoping that I get so worked up from talking to Suzie on the side that I cave in and do stuff with you then, Dilly?"

[Pat, slap, squeeze, pat, slap, that's some tight cow ass then]

"Well, I mean, Vicki, I'd be a disappointment to you and all, so."

"LOL, I'm just jazzing you up, Dilly [guzzle], come on, I'll introduce you around that then we'll go get me some girl smooches, so? Also, now that you're all jazzed up, I mean, your Lycra capri pants don't hide much, so?"

"Oh, Vicki, I mean, I no longer hide who or what I am, so."

"Alright, [guzzle, finish another wine cooler], let's go then, Dilly."

[Snags another wine cooler, twist pop the top, fizz]

I mean, it was nice of Vicki to take me by the hand as she walked us around, right? I mean, sure, it was mostly so she could pull me out of the way from a wayward drag racer or two, but it looked good anyways, so.

However, she also seemed to be in a bit of rush due to her envisions of making out with Suzie on the side, so the introductions were a little rushed then.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's the rush with the intro's then? I mean, are we on a speed contest game show or something then? I mean, I like cows and you seem to be prime beef in those fancy cow clothes, so what's the rush then, Dilly?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Six Toes, I'm just on a time table tonight, so."

"Well, what can be so important then, Dilly? I mean, you're here and you're well dressed and I think we should slow things down a little then, so?"

"I mean, I need to get up to the Pizza Shop and personally order three pizzas for your crew, I mean, your crew is probably hungry and stuff, right? And Vicki's not coming with me for other reasons, so."

"Oh, so you have a phone, but you don't know how to use it then, Dilly? Just tell them to deliver to the old abandoned air field and be done with it then, so? I mean, we can get better acquainted while we wait the pizzas to arrive, so?"

Damn, foiled by technology! And Vicki's eyes told me that I couldn't use her little tryst with Suzie as an excuse, so.

"Fine, Six Toes, my boyfriend Timmy works at the Pizza Shop and it's only fair that I break things off with him in person before I become someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend or to be mounted as a sexually active partner or whatever, so."

"Hmmm, respect then, Dilly. Not that anyone says it that way though, but I like the way you're thinking then, Dilly, so?"

[Pinches and pokes Six Toes in his sides]

"I mean, did you want four sides of garlic and cheese fries then, Six Toes? It appears that you could carry just a tad more body weight, so?"

"Oh, I mean, Cowgirl Dilly, if you're saying that I could use just a tad more body weight then, I mean, sure, pile it on, right?"

[Gently shoves Vicki to the side for a moment for whispering]

"Well, it's just my limited experience and all, so, I mean, a bunch of extra garlic and cheese fries it is, then. (Also, I mean, Six Toes, would you say you have normal hair on your legs, less hair than normal or more leg hair than normal then, hm-mmm?)"

"(Um, I never had anyone ask me that before, Dilly, but every time the nurse looks at my six toes, I mean, she goes "ewe", but I don't know if it's from my sixth toe or from my leg hair, so?)"

[Pats Six Toes on his belly]

"Well, we'll worry about that later then, I mean, let's just put a little weight on you for now then."

Well, I mean, just in case we get to wrestling and just in case he scoots his way up my body like Brent did, right? I mean, I'm completely hairless and I wouldn't want an itchy situation to ruin the moment, so.

"Ahem! Time to go, Dilly! My lips are drying out, so."

"Well, I was checking things, Vicki, that's all."

Oh, so a huffy walk to my truck then? But with a very nice "scoots' close ending, so.

"Shut it, Dilly, I'm not your Front Seat Girlfriend, but I like how you're taking me to sneak in a few private moments with Suzie and I'm getting a little worked up, so. And what's with you and the tad more body weight with your men then anyways?"

"Hey, I don't have men! I mean, I had one guy, but he half way mounted me and the feeling under his body weight was as good as the half sex, so."

"Well, Dilly, no one can say that you don't have your own way of explaining things then, so do you have another plan to distract Sal the counter manager while I sneak back behind the Sub Sandwich counter and smooch it up with Suzie then?"

[Ooh, a reach over and a "hello there" then like a good Front Seat Girlfriend]

"I mean, I thought I'd just twirl on my tippy toes and let my cow pattern outfit do the rest, so."

"Well, alright then, but I wouldn't be mad if you stood to the side a little and aimed your camera phone at Suzie and I, LOL, I mean, Jimmy J would be mad as hell about it, but I wouldn't, so. And bat your eyes a little so I get a full ten minutes and no sneaky off to restroom with that little freak Timmy! You'll have plenty of time to be sexually active mounted later and OMG, now I'm talking that way!"

See, folks? LOL, I rub off on people! Well, I don't literally rub off on people, I mean, that's Timmy's thing, but my attitude and oddball ways do!

"Oh, oh, turn left, I mean, swing through that alley so that I can "hey" to my brother, Dilly, OMG, turn here already!"

[Screech, again]

Oh, holy bad luck snap, the dirty alley boys, again!

"What's up, bro? Any luck in the alley tonight then, huh?"

"Hey sis, I mean, some tease swung through earlier, hey, wait a minute, I know this truck, OMG, it's you, the pebble throwing tease all! Vicki, this little tease wad jerked me around earlier!"

"Well, butthead, did you deserve it then?"

"Well, duh, I'm a dirty alley guy with two venereal diseases, so."

"And were you mean to Dilly then, bro?"

"Well, duh, I'm a dirty alley guy, so."

"Oh, I see then, so, make nice then."

"Fuck! I mean, I'm sorry that I upset you earlier to the point that you felt it was best to peel out and scuff my boots, so?"

"If you're happy with that, Dilly, LOL, then peel out and let's get me to the promise land then, so?"

[Screech, screech, for like the fourth time that night]

"I mean, these last two days have been very exciting for me, Vicki. I mean, there was a full day of bowl games yesterday and now all this screeching around, so."

"Well, focus on distracting Sal and we'll see what else life has in store for you tonight, so."

Oh, I screeched into the Pizza Shop parking lot alright. I mean, once you start screeching your tires, it's hard to stop, right?

"[Mwah, tongue tag, mwah] That stays between us, Silly Cowgirl Dilly, now go put your cow outfit to work then."

I mean, the damn thing fit me like a skin on a grape, so.

"Sal, I need you focus on me as I place my order, so."

[Sneak, swish, sneak, swoosh]

"Oh, like I was born yesterday and there is nothing wrong with my hearing either, so? But you just go ahead and swivel on your tippy toes in those fancy cow pants and we'll see what's what then."

[LOL, points camera phone in the right direction]