Discipline and Punish Pt. 01

She let out a grateful breath.

"Thank me," he whispered in her ear. "Every time I have mercy on you, I want you to thank me."

"Th-thank you," Mary Jane stammered, still breathless. The exercise had brought her world sharply into focus. Her mind, usually so busy, bouncing around from thought to thought, was fixed totally on Benjamin--his hands on her body, his breath on her neck. She hung on his every word.

"And you'll address me by my first name. Say, 'Thank you, Benjamin.'"

"Thank you, Benjamin," Mary Jane repeated.

"Straighten your posture." She did so. "Say, 'Yes, Benjamin.'"

"Yes, Benjamin."

"Now take a sip of water." She reached for her glass, but before she touched it, she felt his fingers tighten on her thigh, pinching it painfully. "Forgetting something?" He growled.

Mary Jane gave a small gasp in pain. "I..." she stammered. "Yes, Benjamin," she corrected herself. His grip on her leg relented.

"Good." She took a sip of water, just as he had instructed. "Now," he continued, "take another sip, but this time, don't swallow. Hold it in your mouth."

Mary Jane remembered the correct response this time. "Yes, Benjamin." She took another sip of water and held it in her mouth as directed.

He moved her hair aside and began speaking into her ear. "Now that I have you here," he began, "I'd like to tell you a bit more about the little game I'm proposing. I've played power games like this before, you know. I've been to clubs downtown and used all sorts of equipment--handcuffs, leather straps, whips, floggers, you name it." Mary Jane's ears prickled at his words. Scenes flashed through her mind, desires, fantasies. She stared straight ahead and resisted the urge to swallow the water in her mouth.

"I could do all that to you if I wanted," Benjamin continued, "and if you let me, of course. I could take you back to my apartment and tie you up, force you to do all sorts of things, make you feel pain." He reached toward the table and took a languid bite of Mary Jane's ravioli, while she waited for him, silently, to continue. Benjamin was in no hurry--that much he was making abundantly clear. He took another bite of her dinner, then ran a finger through her hair. "But that would be awfully crude of me, don't you think?" He continued, "An old-fashioned kind of punishment, Foucault might call it. No, with you, I want to do something different. Can you guess what it is? You may swallow."

Mary swallowed gratefully. She smiled. "If I were you," she told him, "I'd be thinking about a subtler form of power. A disciplinary power."

"Yes! Yes, that's exactly right. I want to discipline you." Benjamin searched for the right words. His hand on her thigh traveled upward underneath her skirt, so that he fingers just grazed the outside of her underwear. "I want to know you, inside and out. I want to...to instill submission in you so thoroughly, so...meticulously that it becomes a reflex. Something that's a part of you, that you do without even thinking about it. How does that sound to you?"

Yes, she thought, yes. The thrill of submission coursed through her veins like a drug. It swelled and moistened between her legs. She felt a tingle of warmth at the back of her neck and her thigh where his fingers were holding her. "I'd like that," she said.

"Good." He reached into his brief case, took out a small notebook, and ripped a page out of it. "Now, I am going to dictate, and you are going to write this down for me, understood?" He handed her a pen.

"Yes, Benjamin."

"Write, 'I submit to Benjamin.'" Mary Jane tamed the shaking in her hands and printed the phrase neatly on the paper. "Now, on the second line, write, 'My greatest desire is to please him.'" She did so. "And lastly, on the third line, write, 'I have no secrets from him.'" She copied down this line as well. It was like a miniature prayer, brief but potent. "Read it out to me," he directed.

"I...I submit to Benjamin," she said shakily. "My greatest desire is to please him. I have no secrets from him."

"Say it again," he ordered. His grip on her neck tightened. "I want the hesitation out of your voice."

She took a deep breath and began again. "I submit to Benjamin. My greatest desire is to please him. I have no secrets from him."

He took the paper, folded it in half, and put it in her hands. "You will carry this paper with you everywhere. It is your bible. Your constitution. You'll sleep with it under your pillow. You'll bring it with you to work in your purse." Mary Jane slipped the paper into the pocket of her skirt. "Say, 'Yes, Benjamin.'"

"Yes, Benjamin."

"Now listen closely. Here are your first instructions. Do you like to touch yourself before bed?" He asked the question quite unabashedly.

Mary Jane blushed. Her first impulse with any other man would have been to feign shock, then to deny. But of course, she had no secrets from Benjamin, she had told him so herself. "I...well, sometimes, yes," she admitted.

"I want you to do it tonight. And I want you to think about me when you do it. Imagine all the things I might do to you. Things you want me to do to you or to ask you to do. Then tomorrow, first thing in the morning, write them down for me. Anything that comes into your mind. Even if you're embarrassed by it. Especially if you're embarrassed by it. I want to know."

Mary Jane nodded. "Yes, Benjamin."

"Also, write down anything you don't want. Anything that's off limits. I want to know that as well. Then bring it to my office on your lunch break."

"Yes, Benjamin."

Benjamin's grasp softened. "You can look at me now." Mary Jane did so. He was smiling broadly at her. She returned the smile. He took her head un his two hands and kissed her on the lips. His lips were warm and firm, and they sent a pulse of energy into her as she received him. "How do you feel?"

She looked up into his eyes. "Excited." No secrets, she thought. "A little nervous, too."

He kissed her again, deeply and thoroughly. "You are always safe with me. I want you to know that."

At that moment, the waiter interrupted them by coming over to the table and clearing their plates. He asked in a chipper voice, "Can I get you two anything for dessert? Some cannolis maybe?"

Benjamin kept an arm wrapped around Mary Jane and grinned up at the waiter. "What do you say, my dear? A cannoli?"

Mary Jane looked at Benjamin, who winked at her. "Yes, Benjamin," she said.

When the waiter left, they both burst out laughing. "Isn't this a fun game we're playing?" He exclaimed. "No one else in this restaurant knows."

Mary Jane grinned. "Yes," she agreed. It was thrilling, the change that had passed between them--invisible, immaterial, yet all-encompassing. Without even moving from the table, they had transfigured the entire nature of their relationship.

"I'm a nice master, aren't I? I even buy you dessert."

She laughed. "Thank you, Benjamin!"

He gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Tomorrow the real work begins."