All Comments on 'Disciplining Ms. Reed'

Good read, but a touch confusing grammatically. If you're writing first person ("I wondered where she was"), then you should be writing what that character sees and feels. We, the readers, experience the story as Frank does. We shouldn't have Sam's monologue thoughts, because Frank has no clue. So when you write "Damn this man's voice, Sam thought to herself", that's fine if you're writing in third person mode, but not in first person mode. Frank doesn't know what Sam is thinking. First person mode is very hard to do, which is why most stories are third person. Thanks so much for writing though!

The mix of 1st and 3rd person narration is incredibly annoying and amateurish.

Couldn’t get past the first page.

hope theres more??

Good story!

4

Good story. But I hope you’re getting the message. Pick a point of view and stick with it.

Nice idea, well put together - please sort the point of view issue; it makes the thing so disjointed and difficult to read.

Great story, you have got to go to the Cabin & Finnish teaching her all things Sexual !! & NICE etc----