Disconnected

Author's Note: This story is a gradual unveiling of love and sexual tension. It's not a quick-climax party-in-the-pants, so if that's what you're after, consider yourself warned. (I hope to be posting some of those soon, but for now...)

I humbly submit, for your gleeful consideration, my first Lit story, my virgin 'baby'. Besides my own hands (and its Godfather's: You know who you R), it's never been touched, so go gently!

*

"Alright students, those of you who have volunteered to help in the Jubilee preparations, you are dismissed. Therest of you, start working on your letters to the Missioners." Cassie sternly overrode the aggrieved sighs from her class of eight-year-olds. "They'll be arriving over the next few days, and I want those letters to be ready and waiting for them on their beds. Some of them haven't been back to their home colonies for a while, nor have they been able to receive letters in any consistency, out on the mission field, and they deserve to receive our appreciation and support for their Tasks."

One anxious student stood. "But Mentor Cassie, what if we don't know about their Task? The Missioners I was assigned are all from Betic colony. They're only visiting for the Jubilee, and I haven't met them."

Mentor Cassie addressed her answer to the class at large. "Children, this assignment is partly to practice simple letter-writing etiquette. Don't get too hung up on complications. You may leave out specific references to their work, or you canask them questions about what they do. They will enjoy reading your notes, if only to remind them what colony life is like at your age. All of them risk their lives to keep our walls safe and scout for new colony locations, and maybe they'd rather read about happy things inyour lives. Try to work in some of our vocabulary words while you're at it. That'll earn extra points." Cassie returned to her table at the front of the classroom.

"Will you be writing to your Missioner, Mentor Cassie?" The soft question from a student seated near her was startling. "Momma said your son is coming home for Jubilee week."

"You have a son?" The unexpected line of inquiry was taken up by another child, and Cassie wasn't sure how to respond.

"Yeah, Seth—I mean Missioner Masters." The answering girl corrected herself with a fleeting glance to her Mentor. "Remember in Year Five he taught us how to build kites."

Cassie smiled at her students quellingly. "I'll be taking care of other parts of the festivities, so my feelings of appreciation will be delivered in other ways. Just like your classmates who volunteered."

"Wait, I thought he was your brother?" Children's curiosity sometimes could not be derailed so easily.

Cassie sighed, "Missioner Masters is something between a son and a brother to me, I guess. We're... foster family." The kids were listening attentively, though she was pretty sure it was just to milk her distraction as long as possible to avoid their own schoolwork. She still tried to explain as best she could. "It's kind of like I was assigned to Mentor him at home. He was just about your age when he arrived at Maltic colony, without any other family members, and came to stay at my house."

"What happened to his family?"

Nervously looking at Cassie's disproving expression, another student answered his classmate scathingly, "Use your imagination, stupid."

"Or ask him yourself. That's not the type of thing you discuss with other people," the children's Mentor admonished.

"So you adopted him?"

"Well, I was only about 15, I was just finishing my own schooling, not yet starting Orientation. I know that seems really old to you, but it actually isn't old enough to be a licensed Parent. But my own Parents were soon moving on to other Occupations, and I was pretty responsible for my age—you remember what the word 'responsible' means?—so I took care of him at home. Then, actually I Mentored him through his Orientation, until he joined the Missioners a few years ago."

In the guileless declaration common to children, one student pronounced, "I wouldn't want you to be my Mom and Mentor all the time, Mentor Cassie."

Remembering Seth's occasional outbursts, she had to admit that he sometimes hadn't seemed to want it either. But they were still connected by unbreakable ties. One didn't always like family, but one always loved them. And in whatever form it was, she still considered him family. "Enough chatter. I want to see letters beginning on each of your tablets."

***

From the balcony of the school, Cassie was able to watch Seth's coterie come in. Because they were returning to their origin colony, they arrived a couple days early to restock and rehab before the festival began. The coteries from other colonies would enter in parade when they arrived with their friends and families for the Jubilee, and would be welcomed with more panache. She waved at him but wasn't sure if he'd seen her.

She still had to close up her classroom and meet with the other Mentors to discuss performance plans. Another twenty minutes went by before she could work her way to the Missioner Kit shed—where all the unloading was being done—and weave her way through the chaos to Seth, but then could only manage a quick greeting and a side hug around the bags he was juggling. The Missioners in the coterie were all clearly still focused on wrapping up their Task before they decompressed, and she felt embarrassed that she'd gotten in the way. They all looked worn out and tired, despite their cheer at being home.

Really, it was alright; she had plenty of chores to complete before the arrival of the other coteries, let alone the beginning of Jubilee week itself, and it had always been better to let Seth come to her when he was ready. He'd always had strong emotions—it wouldn't be a bad thing if his time serving as a Missioner had helped to temper his self-control—but he was good-hearted and playful, and he had integrity. She knew he'd be staying in the barracks now, instead of his room in the house they'd grown up in—anyway she had a tenant in that room now—but she hoped he would come by to visit and reconnect. She'd missed him.

***

Seth did not stop by the house that day, or at least not while Cassie was there—but, to be fair, she had been working all over the place, and it would have been hard for him to find her even if he had tried. It wasn't until midway through the next day that Cassie got more than just a glimpse of Seth at a time. Pacing between tasks, she was getting distracted by delegating assignments to some of her older students, and picking up stray boxes of supplies as she encountered them in forgotten places. She was dropping off an armful of these to a couple of girls working on the lights display when she passed a circle of loungers drinking ale in the shade of the trees.

The Missioners spent time mostly with themselves, attracting some of the younger crowd that would be joining them in a couple of years and who were eager to feel part of them, as well as some of the older Missioner veterans who'd moved on to other Occupations but still enjoyed reminiscing and comparing stories. They generally avoided getting rowdy, especially in the first while after coming home, as the Missions outside of the Walls were exhausting enough and the team had looked forward to the chance to laze in peace. This often included imbibing their relaxing drinks until passing out, and it looked like some of the cheap ale had already been busted out.

A few of the young men soaking up the spilled glory of the Missioners were in her older classes, and she was quite sure they were supposed to be working on projects in preparation for the Jubilee, and definitely not supposed to be drinking. Striding alongside the reposing group, Cassie didn't call them out by name, and she felt that was pretty generous. After all, she understood the desire to spend time with important people who had been away for a long time, but they would all have a full week of merriment soon; plus, Maltic colony was to be hosting a good number of guests from other communities who deserved to be shown a good time in a hospitable place, and there were still a lot of things to be completed in order to be able to enjoy all of that fully. So she simply paused with her small load and casually mentioned that the Kitchen could use some strong arms, as well as the guest barracks needing some assistance. She gave a sharp look at the guilty individuals to make clear that her mild tone was not an invitation to be ignored, despite their reluctance to move.

One of the boys groaned, while another of the Missioners made a face. "So much for time off." A few of the adults started to sit up resignedly, despite the murmur of protest all around, and she felt a mix of guilt and satisfaction that the older men in the motley crew were demonstrating good work ethic to the younger, even if it was just on demand.

A man lounging with his back to a tree, his long legs and boots the only parts of him that had been visible to Cassie, looked up. Seth abruptly stood to grin disarmingly at her, leaning—in a tipsy sway towards her face—closer than he'd probably intended, and put a hand on her shoulder—possibly in greeting, but probably to steady himself. "Hey! Cass! You sure these useless guys are needed? They'd probably just get in the way of whatever you're trying to get done." Seth loomed a few inches over her, though he had still been a little shorter than herself when last she'd seen him properly, over a year ago. His facial features had lengthened and sharpened, and he had a new little scar above his lip. Her own body's awareness took in how his muscles had developed, filling in his lithe frame with firm masculinity. A bearing of confidence—due to years of working with purpose alongside other capable people—radiated from him, even while he tried to schmooze her like the teenager he'd previously been.

After a long moment of startled captivation, looking up into the almost-familiar features that were suddenly just a few inches away from her own, she stepped back. Blinking away a strange feeling of flustered nerves, Cassie stated, "Right, of course; you Missioners deserve to relax with friends. I will take care of it." She turned away to leave, but Seth's broad smile turned sheepish and he grabbed at her before she got too far, aiming for her hand, but her hold on the supplies only allowed him room on her arm.

His words were an invitation to stay and relax with them, but she was more conscious of sensing the calloused grip of his hand around her wrist, the heat sending sparks to strange places. Abashed at her own feeling of shyness after years of filling roles of authority, she shrugged to twist her wrist away and shook her head, "No, I'd best not. Things do still need to be accomplished... But let's catch up soon, ok?" She glanced back as she walked away, but only for a moment.

*

Seth sighed and turned back to his victoriously reposing group to sit down again, muttering to them, "Man, she needs to relax." He thought of how her pulse had been jumping under his fingers.

One of the young ones who was more familiar with her in the last few years as a stringent and uncompromising Mentor, joked in bravado, "She needs to get laid!"

A Missioner across the circle laughed and ribbed the fifteen year old good-naturedly. "What, are you volunteering?"

Another chimed in, "No way, I don't think she's into kids half her age."

One of the older men glanced at Seth's bemused face and prudently interrupted, "Hey now, that's basically Seth's mom you're talking about there."

He responded seemingly out of rote habit, "She's not my mom."

The first Missioner, a little sloshed, replied, "Yeah they're not related; Seth could totally sleep with her." It was perhaps an unwise thing to say about another man's family, but the circle of friends kept up the banter.

"Na na, we know Seth's taste." A Missioner who had taken Seth under his wing during his first Task gave a playful shove to his shoulder. "Do you remember that piece of work you were chasing after, when you were fifteen?" The group laughed and reminisced about years past when they'd all been home, what nearly felt like a full lifetime ago.

***

When Seth had been fifteen, filled with that sweet and sour blend of energy, curiosity, and arrogance so common to that age, he'd fallen in with another young colony foster kid, newly arrived. Syd had been a piece of work, all right, vivacious and colorful, more angry than he and therefore more dangerous, which he had thought was an alluring characteristic for a girl to have. Seth had been giddy with the time he could spend with her, not least because he could feel Cassie's disapproval of Syd. He got a lot of satisfaction from pushing her buttons. She had been practicing letting go of her role as disciplining Parent, and giving ground to be more housemate or sibling, though he still had the years of Orientation under her tutelage to get through.

As Syd showed more inclination to be disrespectful and disruptive to the colony's system, tempting Seth into rebellion along with her, he keenly watched Cassie struggle to bite her tongue. She clearly wanted to tell Seth that the girl was bad news, reprimand them both, and/or forbid them from spending time together, but that was exactly the role of a parent controlling a child, so she refrained. He hadn't expected her to continue for weeks to simply take a deep breath and leave him to himself, but maybe his bilious rants had actually gotten through to her stoic reasonability.

Seth had continued to thrive on Syd's vitality, until she started to steal gear and supplies and to blatantly push against the rules that kept the community safe and healthy, and he really had to think for himself about what he valued. Eventually he had let go of his ties to Syd, and retreated back towards being the respectful citizen that Cassie had shown him how to be. He'd loved her for being genuine and sweet, and he grudgingly admired her drive, but he'd had to learn his lessons all his own way.

After a couple more years, he'd reached his age of majority, and soon had left with the Missioners to train on successful Tasks, only returning for scant months.

***

After the parade of visiting coteries had all arrived and Jubilee week had officially begun, the work in the background only doubled. Cassie had never been good at taking downtime when there was work that needed doing, and there was always work that needed doing. She didn't begrudge the revelers, though—that was the whole point of the week, after all—she just enjoyed being productive, and felt a bit overwhelmed by the crowds filling Maltic colony.

She'd retreated to the storerooms to organize the incoming supplies arriving with the visitors, and to set aside those being used for the activities scheduled for the following day. Already feeling harassed by the constant inquiries for various foods and amenities, she was exasperated to see Seth being nudged to the forefront of a gaggle of Missioners that she'd already several times denied access to the plum wine. She had acknowledged to them that it was indeed a favorite, but therefore was to be saved for the dinner feast, not squandered on those lushes simply because they were bold enough to ask.

Now, eyeing Seth over the invoice she was reviewing while unpacking a crate of stock, she asked him if he had a different request, or just thought he was going to get any different answer than his companions. He tilted his head nonchalantly and shrugged, nibbling on a sugared pear slice from a box in his hand, "Well, you did let all slack off the other day when I asked it of you. I suppose they thought you might fall for my clever arguments or my winning smile again."

A teasing smile on his mouth pulled one from hers as well, though she still shook her head. "There are enough barrels of ale out there to content them all for now. You don't get special treatment for having spent your childhood with me."

Seth pretended to pout. Sliding smoothly onto the crate edge to block her return to the chore he'd interrupted, he grabbed her hand and placed one slice of the pear in her palm as if to share, clumps of sugar grains wet with juice immediately falling to her skin. Keeping a firm hold of her hand cupped in his, he leaned over it and wheedled, "Come on Cassiopeia, give and let live. Everyone deserves something a little"—just as he lifted it and she expected him to make her eat it—"sweet"—he bent his head and ate it carefully from her hand himself. As he maintained his laughing eye contact, Cassie released a cry of playful outrage that he'd play that childish game, but her airflow cut off in confusion when she felt his tongue graze firmly across the sensitive flesh where the pear had been, and his lips close slowly to suck the juice from her palm.

It seemed a very seductive gesture to her, but she could not be certain if he'd intended it to be arousing or immature. She didn't know how to read the gleam in his eyes as he continued to look at her.'Perhaps, she reasoned to herself, he just unconsciously flirts with all females out of the testosterone-fueled charm of his age range. Foolish boy.' He'd even used the old pet name he'd had for her ever since he'd learned the names of the stars. She tamped down her sensory reaction, pulled her hand away, and found herself saying, "Alright, alright, go. Take one of the big jars. Just one!" simply to get him to leave. His face lit up and he saluted her as he stood, leaving victorious yet again.

Her fingers curled around her palm, which still tingled with the scratch of his facial hair. She remembered when he'd pined for that scruff to come in; when he was so excited, he'd shaved daily for two weeks before realizing that the raised skin was razor burn and not a beard growing in. As she got back to work, though, she kept seeing that moment of his eyes flashing up at her from under his lashes, as his mouth pressed open on her skin. She could swear that her heart was pulsing in her abdomen.

***

Cassie was annoyed that Seth had gotten his way so easily in both of their interactions so far. But, though it was easier to be irritated at Seth, she knew it was more reasonable to reprimand herself for giving way so quickly. And it wasn't like he'd stolen the wine and then tried to get away with it. All he had done was ask—yes, playful and teasing, but still honest and straightforward; he hadn't been manipulative or rude. It took assertiveness to step up and take action, in order to make a desired change, and he'd done that more for his friends' benefit than his own. She was nettled at her own apparent inability to tell him 'No', but that onus was on her. Thinking of the leadership he was demonstrating, her heart warmed. She was proud of the man he was becoming.

***

The Jubilee games had officially started. There were posters dispersed throughout the colony to announce what activities were being held where and at what time. Whooping and catcalling could be heard from various corners of the base as races were organized; everything from food-eating contests to speed dashes in costume. Food tables were available here and there to reinvigorate the contestants and spectators. Skilled performances would be given towards the evenings, once most people had been tuckered out by more vigorous activities of the day.

Cassie hadn't decided if she was going to participate in the martial forms display; she enjoyed learning the graceful flow of the forms, but they weren't as impressive-looking as the self-defense demonstration. She had already checked in on her students who were rehearsing for their own performance later in the week. Next she was hoping to make it to the Riddle-athon; she thoroughly enjoyed word games, and was interested in hearing any new riddles coming from the other colonies.