Discovering Boys Ch. 02

He grinned at me sheepishly, "Was that okay? I couldn't help myself"

"You kidding me?" I replied, "That was the best blowjob I've ever had!"

He grinned again, "Then I hope you'll stay over tonight? It's a bit late for you to be heading back after all"

I kissed him again, "Of course I will"

We snuggled for a short while afterwards, but I could barely stay awake. The excitement and mind-shattering orgasm had drained me of all energy, and I quickly drifted off to sleep with Dave holding me close to his chest.

*****

The next morning, I awoke in an empty bed, and had a brief moment of panic. I pulled my jeans and shirt on and wandered into the corridor, looking around to see where Dave was. I could smell toast and bacon, and wandered towards the living room cautiously, worried that I might run into his flatmates. I found Dave in the lounge, cooking breakfast in his slacks. He looked up as I entered, a smile spreading across his face,

"Oh hey," he said, "I was gonna let you sleep and wake you up when breakfast was ready, you looked like you needed it"

I grinned at him, "Heh, well you did tire me out last night."

He blushed furiously, "Well take a seat you, it'll be ready in a minute."

I grinned at his reaction, the flushed look suited him. Sitting down at the small table, he passed me a plate with a bacon sandwich on it before sitting down with his own, opposite me.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"About 7," he replied, "sorry for getting you up so early, I have to get to the library."

"The library?" I scoffed, "What kind of student are you?"

He shrugged, "Medicine," He said by way of explanation, "we don't get all the cushy lie-ins you soft-science students get, if we don't hit the library every morning, people DIE"

I laughed at his dramatic pose as he finished, "fair enough, what time do you have to set off?"

Dave glanced at his watch and frowned, "uh, I'm actually a little late for a study group. I just wanted to let you sleep a little longer, you looked so sexy curled up in my bed."

This time it was my turn to blush.

*****

I just about made it to all my lectures that day; although I needn't have bothered because I could barely focus on them. My head was too filled with thoughts of the kiss with Matt and his confusing reaction afterwards and with pictures of Dave's grey eyes locked onto mine as he sucked my dick. I had to admit to myself that guys clearly turned me on, though I wasn't ready to call myself gay. I still liked girls and I hadn't been lying to myself when I was with girlfriends in the past. It was confusing, but for the first time all week I felt a modicum of self-confidence again.

That self-confidence dwindled as the day dragged on and I faced the prospect of returning to my dorms. Dave had messaged me saying he'd had a great time and wanted to meet me again when he was next free, but that was clearly not going to be tonight. I trudged up the stairs and fumbled with my keys to get into my room.

Throwing my bag onto my chair I jumped onto my bed, planning on getting a bit of work done before I inevitably gave in to procrastination and put some Netflix. Before I could get that far, however, I heard a soft knock on my door. I froze, wondering whether Nathan would be willing to make the leap from talking shit about me behind my back to actually abusing me to my face, or maybe even worse. He was a pretty built guy, and I wasn't sure that I'd be able to hold my own if it came to a fight. The knock came again, slightly louder this time.

"Jake, let me the fuck in you twat."

It was Matt's voice, though the slurring told me that he'd been drinking. Cautiously I got up and opened the door a crack, wedging my foot firmly so that it would be difficult to force the door open.

"Yes?" I said coldly, "What can I do for you?"

"You..." he said, swaying slightly, "you fucking ruined everything. Kerryn won't even speak to me."

"What the hell Matt, you kissed ME, then you fucking ghosted me over it. I lost my best friend and I've had to put up with fucking Nathan chatting shit about me all fucking week."

He had the good grace to look ashamed, "I, I know man, I'm sorry, look we can't do this in the corridor, let me in."

I sighed and moved my foot out of the way, letting him in. He pushed past me into the room, and just stood there, hovering like he didn't quite know what to do with himself. I crossed my arms and just looked at him, "Well? Why are you here?"

He pulled himself up to his full height, towering over me, "to tell you to stay the fuck away, man. I'm straight and you're clearly some homo bastard. You turned that kiss into some kind of gay fucking erotic... I dunno, it was fucking queer," he said, deflated.

I was crushed, I was losing my best friend and I didn't know how to stop it. Steeling myself, I squared up to him, "And you felt the need to come into my room to tell me this why, exactly? I'd gotten the message pretty goddamn clear all by myself with the way you've been ignoring me and talking about me behind my back."

He prodded me in the chest, "to make sure YOU get the point," he said, "I love my girlfriend and having you around confusing things is fucking shit up."

"What the hell are you talking about, I haven't said ANYTHING to Kerryn, you know I never would!"

He let out a frustrated, half-strangled cry, "because having you around is distracting ME," he said taking a step forward menacingly. I took a half-step back involuntarily, "because I can't get you out of my head," another step forwards, my back was now pressed against the wall, "because whenever you're near, all I want to do is this."

He grabbed my arms suddenly, pinning me against the wall and stepped forwards again. Suddenly he was kissing me, it was anger and passion and confusion all mixed into one rushed kiss. Gone was the casual confidence of a man sure in his own skin from the club, this was Matt as I'd never seen him before. His lips pushed against mine urgently, with a need that I couldn't quite grasp; his tongue pushed itself into my mouth and took over, like an invading force. But it was also hesitant and strange, like he wanted to bolt like a startled deer, like he was trying to throw himself off my body and across the room but lacked the strength of will to deny himself.

I could barely pull together a coherent thought it was all so sudden. All thought fled before his intoxicating presence. My heart must have been audible it was beating that fast, and I felt a sudden tightness in my jeans. I groaned and leaned deeper into the kiss, instinctively curving my form around his and letting him possess me. This felt so strange and yet so right. But the sharp stab of pain coming from my arms brought sudden clarity and I wrestled free.

"Get off!" I shouted pushing ineffectually against his chest, "You can't do this to me, you can't ignore me for a week and then push into my room and do this, it's not fair."

He looked at me, his grey eyes glazed over with a combination of pain, lust, and drunkenness, "But I need you... I need this"

He took another step forwards, but this time, clinging onto what little air I had left and trying not to look him in the eyes, I stepped to one side.

"Get out," I said, matter-of-factly, "come back sober or not at all, I don't care which."

He looked forlorn as he left, and I locked the door behind him. Sinking to the floor behind the door, I started to cry. I couldn't help it; my emotions just ran away with me and I simply didn't have the capacity to process what was going on. Dave, Matt, I couldn't begin to understand what had happened to my life in a mere week. And all because of a single kiss.