Disorder Ch. 15

Donnie jerked back, eyes wide.

"John!"

But his brother was, of course, not to be dissuaded, disrobing entirely and taking his wrist, drawing him up as if it was the most natural thing in the world -- so very often, that was the key to getting people to do what he wanted them to -- and to the bed. It was a small bed, to be fair, but a single bed could have so many uses in their home, some of which Donnie had heard through the walls with ear buds stuffed into his ears. When he stepped back, hesitating, John paused with him, though he should have known, even then, that he was not a man to be denied.

"Come on," John grinned, though the twinkle in his eyes was solely a dark one. "You don't think you're going to go without too, hm, Small Donnie?"

Donnie's heart turned over. Why did that make him feel like that? Fuck!

"Uh, John," he said, cheeks heating up even more than they already were. "I don't know... I don't think I'm sure about that."

John rolled his eyes, scoffing.

"Oh, what are you on about now? You've already sucked my dick -- is that really all you fucking wanted here? Live a little, dear!"

And it seemed that he, willingly, had no choice in the matter, lips on his as he was forcibly borne down to a bed that was not his, eyes open, seeing everything even as the jabbing probe of John's tongue forced his mouth open. He would never have expected that his brother knew how to kiss but it seemed that he knew just where to put his hands too, a touch here, a slide of the fingers there, grinding against the bulge in his jeans. Donnie groaned, need soaking through his underwear, but that still remained to be seen by the only on that matter, other fingers fumbling with his belt, working it loose.

It would come. John would make sure of that.

Somehow, Donnie was stripped naked, blacking out as if he was under the influence of alcohol even though he was still sure he was quite sober. One minute he was clothed and the next his erection was freed, in John's hand as he examined it briefly, seeming clinical in his expression, though that was probably just Donnie's over-active imagination at work, attributing dues to things that simply were not so. John was above him, driving him back but he didn't need to say anything, his brother taking charge so easily that it was as if it well and truly did come naturally to him.

Maybe that was so.

John growled into his brother's mouth, roughly breaking the kiss as he let his passion rule, desire coursing through, pushing the limits of things. What were limits, after all, if there were not meant to be overcome, bypassed one way or the other? His brother rose to meet him as if their bodies were joined together in some other way, pulling back without actually putting any distance between them. Donnie rolled his head back, letting John graze his neck with his teeth, whimpering softly, losing himself in the moment, everything coming to a head as he felt that he could not let it all go, clinging to some sense of reality, something that was linked to his sense of self.

He was his brother...and yet he still wanted it. It was everything he'd ever wanted in sex, the raw passion adding a tantalising edge to it all, making his cock throb and pulse in John's hand. Turgid and wanton, he could not hold back, thrusting into his hand, wanting to grind up from the bed even as he was forced down into a position that could have been defined as submissive if he'd wanted to put a label on it. It didn't matter though, not when everything was already so fucked up and turned upside down between them, gasping for breath, Donnie's head pounding even if he was still not yet willing to give himself anything at all resembling a break.

"Fuck, you're so hard..."

It wasn't something that would have usually come from John's lips unless he was roughly teasing a lover, if that was ever something that could be put into words, but it was right then, in that particular moment. John grasped his brother's cock, caught up in curiosity, squeezing it, letting his hand move, working and pumping, but it didn't take much thought to masturbate someone else. A guy's cock was just like any others, even though his brother's shaft did not come with the throb of pleasure that meant that he was pleasing himself, but his mind was hazy, something else driving him on, though he could not have quite said what. He didn't have to either.

And there was something more he could take -- well, Donnie was there and up for it, wasn't he? He wasn't going to take a position that he wasn't comfortable with but, ah, there were tricks up John's sleeve as his naked body teased up against his brother's, straddling his hips, arching back, confidently placing his brother's dick up against his tight hole. It was not something he usually did but, well... John laughed out loud, throwing his head back, the drab grey of the ceiling beckoning him. Who the fuck was Donnie going to tell?

"J-John?"

Donnie shook his head, although he was not saying 'no', just... Just what? He didn't know, fumbling for words, mumbling under his breath, letting John soothe him, only a little, sure that his heart was hammering just as hard. How could it not be? That was just the way it was as he groaned, fighting through the fog, losing track even as John's hand gently pressed down on his throat, more as an accidental place for him to hold than anything else but, still...

He would not, could not, deny how his heart flipped for that, twisting and turning, grinding his stomach up into knots. That pressure... Oh, he could not understand it then but he sank down, submissive even as John teased him with the tip of his cock against his anal ring, the pucker giving ever so slightly as if he was actually going to let him inside. Donnie's head pounded. Was it right? Did that even fucking matter anymore? Oh, he was so apt to letting one thought rule him, repeating itself over and over again in his head!

John pressed down, gauging his reactions, though a part of him had, even then, forgotten that there were consequences to his actions, that things he did there could play back onto him at a later date. Donnie locked eyes with him, though not even he knew what he wanted.

"Come on," he laughed softly, though there was nothing soft about the hard line of his jaw, the dominance shining in his eyes. "You can take it... Or the other way around!"

In the end, it was him that took the initiative -- of course, it was John. It was always going to be John but Donnie would not have imagined it to be done in such a way, his brother taking control and bearing down on his throat, watching how his lips parted, hands falling limp on the bed on either side of him. His legs were kicked out but John knew just how to get what he wanted, letting his weight ease his path, his brother's shaft very slowly easing into him, more and more, inch by inch. John grunted but Donnie barely heard it, mouth opening and closing soundlessly as pleasure washed over him. He'd thought he was close to the edge but the shock of the moment, penetrating someone while not feeling like he was in control...that was something else entirely.

And it dragged him on into heightened realms of lust, breath catching, panting and twisting back and forth, only John's hand holding him in place. Everything hinged off that hand closing around his throat, John's groans rising, only notable as he could feel the vibrations trembling through his body. The world dropped away from him, leaving only the two of them there, lust rising, his cock throbbing up deeply, so deeply that he barely even realised that he had already bottomed out within his brother.

Yet... He was not the one in control, regardless of their positions. It was clear, even then, just why John had taken the lead and the top role and, well, it was maybe for the best. Who knew what Donnie would have done with topping him and what that would have even meant for the two of them going forward, their relationship, their family. Yet what even was family when everything was so twisted and broken that it was hardly even at all recognisable even more?

They could make their own version with it and to hell with anything that wasn't in the moment! John snarled and bore down on him, taking him deep, pleasure throbbing up, letting him grind against his prostate. Fuck, yes... Fuck, he needed it, something that he didn't get all that often and he'd be fucked if he'd ever even consider resorting to sex toys! That wasn't for him, not that they'd had the time or the money to buy shit like that before, but a man could be a living sex toy too and be used as such, Donnie playing that part for him as sweat dripped down his body, rolling down light lines of muscle as if it no longer had any right to remain on his form.

At least, that was what he told himself. That would be what let him get over the situation, pass it off as just something that had happened and, still, come back for more with the same excuse in mind.

Whatever let him sleep at night, right?

They hissed through clenched teeth, although it seemed to be getting more and more difficult for Donnie to snatch a breath, chest working, lungs trying to inflate...yet not finding any air in them. Well, only a little but it was not something that his body felt was dire, struggling, fighting back, though he only succeeded in grinding up into his brother, giving John a short, sharp thrust of pleasure that sent his head pounding in the best of ways.

"Fuck..."

John didn't realise what was doing as his cock throbbed back up to full hardness, even with Donnie's cock inside him, which should have made it more difficult -- yet it made it easier. The normal laws and rules of what covered biology no longer seemed to apply and he bared his teeth savagely as he groaned open-mouthed, the raw and ragged sound unlike something that he had ever made before, the room tilting around him. The bed was stable though and that was all that mattered to him as he growled and pushed back, driving down, rising and falling, taking his pleasure in the best way possible. If it got him off first, before Donnie, well...

Well... He'd just have to make sure his brother got something of his fun too. He didn't know where that thought had come from but John stuck with it, his body clenching down on Donnie's cock, though he already had more than enough pleasure to handle all on his own. Donnie's lips parted and John watched him as carefully as he felt he was able, losing himself in the moment, skin tingling, electric thrills of pleasure coursing through him as if, even then, he was close to getting off all over again.

The hand on his throat tightened experimentally, John making sure to cement his control over Donnie, moaning, letting him feel the position he was in. He wasn't in charge -- John was! And Donnie would do well to remember that, needing to make it clear that he was not going to have a fair chance at evenness in power play, John the one who pinned him down, took what he wanted regardless of who was inside who. Truly, that was the epitome of power, of control, being able to take whatever one wanted even though he was in a place that could, with another cock inside him, typically and traditionally be considered submissive. But that was just what John was there to do -- to buck all the trends!

Donnie moaned or, at least, he tried to, lips parting, eyes rolling back. His vision trembled but he didn't think he was really as close to fainting as his frenzied mind thought he was, although something -- he couldn't say what -- stopped him from fighting back. All he knew was that he was so very close to cumming and that was all he could think about, willing even to fight down the desperate need to breathe in lieu of something all the more exotic, something kinky, something that he had never even considered before, let alone tried to do for himself.

A hand on his throat, cutting off his breath. He panted heavily for no reason, catching air and not oxygen. And, just like that, orgasm rose up on him, throbbing up thick and fast as John jacked off his own cock, spilling a load across his stomach, their seed mixing, mingling, all as if it was meant to be. Some sensations were heightened while others were dulled, blurring lines, lines that were never ever, not even once, meant to be crossed. But what was done was done and there was nought more to be done but howl out their joined lust, Donnie with what little breath he could drag in as John, in the throes of orgasm, loosened his grasp.

And it was there that they would linger, ecstasy teasing out for longer than the actual span of orgasm, panting heavily, not quite looking one another in the eyes. They could not stay there but, well, what did John have to lose as he slumped down into his own bed, letting Donnie's cock ease from him as soon as it softened just a little. That wasn't to stay there after the deed was done and it was his call to make, Donnie letting it happen even though he was not quite with himself, drifting and unable to really make any sort of call either way. Not that that was, in fact, a position that he actively wanted to be in, no... No, he rather liked not having to make decisions when someone else, quite literally, grabbed him by the throat and took charge.

That was what stayed with him as the tiredness in the aftermath, a dose of adrenaline simmering down from the tension of it all, the computer screen still on, dragged him down onto the bed beside John. Blinking sleepily at him, drowsily, John could have pushed him off but, not even then, he could not find it in himself to care that he was sharing a bed with his buck naked brother, nothing in him finding that situation strange at all now that a big barrier between them had come crumbling down. What on earth could be thought to be so fucking weird after all of that? There was nothing more that they could do that would be deemed strange, at the very least, and he merely grunted, turning half away as he flung his arm up and across what he thought was the pillows but was, really, far closer to Donnie than his tired mind knew and understood.

All, however, was meant to be as the darkness took them, sweetly and softly, only to return them, of course, when the light of day and their waking lives beckoned once more. They would not be discovered there and drifting off, at least, meant that Donnie did not have to address what had happened, twisted in confusion and not understanding one bit why he'd allowed everything to go on as he had.

His answer though... His answer had always been "yes". There'd never been any doubt in his mind as to that. But there should have been. There really, really, really should have been a doubt. Yet he could not deny it, for it simply did not exist, and it was that that troubled him in doziness more than anything else. But sleep would take of that for him, at least for the time being.

Sleeping there, for the first time in months, Donnie did not dream, an arm slung across his shoulders, head kicked back on a pillow at a weird angle. Yet only time would tell what more would come to pass and develop between the two of them, along for a ride that neither of them had, truly, signed up for.

Even in his sleep, the pull to one another was irrevocable and irreversible. And they would just have to find a way to live with it.

Or not, as it was.