Divorce by a thousand cuts

Sam and Cara's story was a familiar one. They married young and happy and divorced several years later disillusioned, angry and spiteful. The interesting thing was that part of their divorce agreement stated that they should meet together every six months for three years. The date, time and location were all spelled out. This story is Sam and Cara's takes on those meetings and how they developed.

Sam

It was six months ago that Cara and I split up. It feels like both yesterday and like it happened years ago. I was nervous about seeing Cara again. I was afraid that I would either cry with frustration or get kicked out of the restaurant for yelling at her.

She walked into the diner and came to my table and plunked herself down opposite me. She hadn't changed much. She was always a bit thin but she looked a bit more so today. She wore her red hair long and curly, naturally red and curly. She also had a redhead's temper. She wore jeans and a college sweatshirt. Here are my recollections of the conversation.

"Hi Cara."

"Hi Sam."

"How are you doing these days? I haven't heard anything from you since that day in court."

"Nope, we divorced remember. We don't need to communicate any more, not that we ever did much of that anyway."

"It might have been nice to know that you were okay. I didn't even know whether you found a place to live after we sold the house. I kept my old phone but apparently you ditched yours and got a new one with a different number."

"Well Sam, contacting you was pretty well at the top of my "don't want to do" list." Any communication with me should still be done through my lawyer.

"So where are you living Cara?"

"None of your concern. I am settled into an apartment."

"Me too. Work has been tough. the divorce screwed with my mind. It has been hard to concentrate on my job so getting lots of flack from the higher ups."

"Poor Sam, quit feeling sorry for yourself. The divorce was as much your idea as mine. You could have fought to keep us together but you chose divorce."

"I could say the same for you. We agreed mutually that the marriage was pretty much toast. Neither of us thought counseling would have helped so we agreed to the nuclear option. I am not afraid to admit to you that after the divorce my life has been fucking miserable. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I care enough about you to hope that your experience has been better than mine."

"I am not afraid to admit my life after divorce is just as shitty as yours. I had to take a pay decrease because business sucks, plus inflation made it impossible to keep my first apartment. I had to move in with someone and split the cost of rent."

"Who are you living with Cara?"

"What's it to you ex-husband? Afraid I have found a nice horny man to live with? Maybe getting my needs met for once? Well let me kill that fantasy right there. I moved in with a woman named Margaret. No needs other than shelter are being met."

"Speaking of needs Cara, are you seeing anyone"

"No, and it's none of your business anyway. As for you Sam, I don't give a shit if you are seeing anyone or not. You aren't mine anymore so you are free to do as you please."

That pretty much covers my take on the meeting. It was short and bitter.

Cara

I really didn't want this six month meeting. I didn't want to face Sam again. This divorce was supposed to be so simple. We owned a house which would be sold. After the mortgage got paid off we were left with little. Our jobs paid roughly the same so no alimony. We had no children. It should have been a piece of cake. So why did it seem to drag on and on. It made our uncomfortable marriage into an almost hate filled existence. When it was over and done we were both wounded and needed time to heal. In my opinion I think the six month meeting is far too soon.

I feared that this meeting would bring back the animosity for each other and I wasn't wrong.

I was a bit surprised that Sam was struggling at work. He seemed so cool and distant during the divorce, I thought he was cool with everything but I guess it was eating him alive too. Would Sam have fought to stay in our marriage if I had encouraged him to? I guess I will never know.

My closing thoughts on this first session? Big whoop. We are both losers in this game. See you again in six months Sam, don't take time to write.

SIX MONTHS LATER

Sam

The diner is still here. The sky is still blue and sea is green and once again Cara and I have our Luncheon date. I have been thinking about it like a date rather than a meeting.

I spiffed up a bit. I put on a button up shirt, light blue and dark blue slacks with a knife edge crease thanks to my dry cleaners. My hair was properly combed and I had a fresh shave and even used some of her favorite aftershave. Why was I going through all this bother for a woman who was an ex-wife?Someone who seemed to hate the ground I walked upon and cursed the air I breathed.

Maybe I just wanted to project an image of a man who had himself together rather than the lonely and hurting man I was inside.

Cara came into the diner right on time. She wore jeans that were a little less baggy than she had six months ago. She wore a more form fitting sweater as well. It was a good look on her. Unfortunately the nicer clothes couldn't disguise the stress wrinkles that had formed on her face.

"Hi Cara, you are looking good."

"Looks are deceiving Sam. But you are looking good too. Is that my aftershave too? Wow, you must have some ulterior motives. Should I swoon?"

"Just trying to be nice and make this meetup pleasant Cara, no secret agenda."

So, it has been a year since we ended our marriage and six months since we last met. What is new, what is happening in your life?"

"You never cared about what I was doing while we were married so why the sudden interest now?"

"For God sakes Cara give it a rest! I care about you and your wellbeing. I want to hear about you. Damn it, you won't give me any contact information so I can't communicate unless it is through your lawyer or at our six month meeting."

"Okay, sorry I snapped at you but I am still bitter over how my life fell apart just because we couldn't get past ourselves. If our marriage had ended as the result of an affair then yeah, it would be done like dinner. But neither of us played around. I know I didn't and Im pretty sure you didn't."

"I have had some...training, have you heard of "death by a thousand cuts?"

"No, sounds ike a Kung Fu movie title."

" If enough small cuts, say 1,000, are made on a person it can kill them. No single cut is big enough to kill but a thousand small ones will. It is cumulative."

"Okay, I think I see but how does that apply to us?"

"Let me use another metaphor. Picture a rain barrel. Every time you and I would argue or complain a drop of water would drip into the rainbarrel. So I get home from work late, one drop, I forget to take the garbage out, one drop. None of these are marriage-ending actions. Yet add years and years of them and soon the rainbarrel is full. Then one day a small infringement come along and it is the one drop too much and it overflows. It wasn't the last thing that happened. It was the accumulation of all those things that caused the death of our marriage. So how could we have avoided the overflow? Simple, empty the rainbarrel. You empty the rain barrel by recognizing the small infractions and apologizing for them, making up for past wrongs and forgiving each other."

"Wow, I never thought of it like that. it makes sense. We never looked at all the small things. We just let them build up. You said you had training?"

"Yeah, I had to see a psychologist. I wasn't adjusting to single life very well. I was in and out of depression and started having some massive panic attacks. I got to a point that I thought life wasn't worth the effort. That's when I broke down and admitted I needed help. My doctor explained those two metaphors to me and they really helped me to see where you and I failed. More importantly it showed me how to avoid these kinds of things from building up."

"Sam, have you been dating? are you thinking of marrying someone? Is that why you are eager to find out why we failed, so you wouldn't do it again in a new relationship?"

"Cara there has been no one serious since you. I dated a few times but they just didn't interest me. My need to know why we failed is important to me. How about you, any dating?"

"A couple of guys. One an unmitigated disaster and the other who wanted me as a cum dump not a girlfriend. That was a non-starter. So no one really. Margaret keeps telling me we need to step up our game but I think I'm sick of playing.

Listen, I've got to go but you have given me some great food for thought. Take care and we will be in touch."

We both stood up and she moved towards me. We hugged. For the first time in close to two years we actually hugged. Someone had better check to see if hell has frozen over!

Cara

This was a very strange meetup.

Margaret told me I needed to look a bit less frumpy for this meeting so I borrowed one of her sweaters. It actually made it look like I had attractive boobs. I may keep it. I also had my hair done and a manicure. I figured there was no need to show Sam how dismal I felt.

I can't believe Sam actually saw a psychologist. That is just so not him, this divorce must've effected him horribly. It sounds like that is the case. Depression can easily lead to feelings of worthlessness so thank God he was responsible enough to recognize he needed help. I almost admire him for it...if I didn't hate him so much. In a way I wish I could have been there to help him through it but then again I am the main cause of it. What a mess!

I have had some time to think about Sam's metaphors and I can see it is so true. It was an accumulation of little things that we allowed to become big things. Why didn't we know this stuff earlier? Life and marriage should come with a fucking manual damn it. It hurts to think all this shit could have been avoided with a little rain barrel emptying.

I have sent Sam an email address where he can reach me. It is getting expensive to use the lawyer as a messenger.

Another six Months Pass

1 1/2 years post divorce

Sam

Today I am wearing a suit. Okay, it is a little overkill but I had a meeting this morning and I didn't want to go back to my apartment to change. I am sure Cara won't mind.

Cara enters the diner and I am bowled over! She has much longer hair and it is absolutely lush. The deep red curls are amazing. She is wearing a mid-length skirt and a jacket over a green silk blouse. Her skin is positively glowing. As a redhead her complexion is adorned by her freckles which I have always found endlessly attractive. She looks like a very successful business woman.

"Wow, holy crap Cara you look amazing!"

""Thank you Sam, this was all Margaret's doing, but I am glad to see that it pleases you. You seem to clean up pretty well yourself."

"Morning client meeting. I thought you might appreciate my wearing it for our lunch date." Oh shit I thought! I said date and not meeting.

"Luncheon date? Well I guess it is almost acceptable to take your ex-wife out on a date." she smiled a devilish smile knowing that I had made a freudian slip.

"Hah, like you would ever accept an offer of a date from me!"

"Ask me out and then you'll know."

Shit, was she really hinting that we might get past the animosity that had had been our existence for years?

"Cara, would you do me the honour of being my plus one at a company function this Saturday?"

"Yes Sam, I would love to."

"Holy shit Cara. Are you serious?"

"Absolutely, let me explain something."

"You have changed Sam. You recognized that you needed help and you sought out that help. That is something that old Sam would never do. You explained to me why we ended up in divorce. When I looked at the metaphors you gave me it opened my eyes. I could finally see where we went wrong and I wept bitter tears because the solution was always there in front of us. If we had just performed an act of love every time we hurt each other we could have drained the fucking rain barrel and it would never have overflowed.

Sam, your strength has caused me to seek out help and I too have been seeing a psychologist. She has helped me to understand and deal with the pain of losing you. She has also told me that I should not give up hope."

"Cara, are telling me that you might see a path for us to reconcile?"

"If you are willing to try to build a healthy relationship with me then yes."

"I am more than willing! Cara, after all the crud, name calling, swearing and backstabbing of a divorce I can stand before you and say that I was never out of love with you. Even when it seemed I had given up I always loved you."

"I wish I could say the same. I got to a point that I hated old Sam. Old Sam put his football playing, his music playing, his car racing, his job, his buddies all well ahead of his wife. New Sam seems different. New Sam sees his own faults and cares enough to fix them. New Sam cares enough about his ex-wife to share insights with her. Helping her to survive the heartbreak of divorce. I am in love with New Sam and would dearly love to reconcile."

"In fact Sam, I think we need to stand up for a moment."

We stood up and she embraced me in a hug. Then we kissed. I wish I could find the words to describe the intense emotions of kissing someone who you thought had been lost forever. It had been years since my lips had touched hers and not just lips but tongues. We just kept kissing each other, both afraid of breaking the magic. Eventually we heard the diner staff applauding so we resumed our seats blushing.

We just sat there holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes and smiling.

"I don't want this to end Cara."

"Neither do I but I think we have to. Please come to my apartment with me Sam."

"What about Margaret?"

"Let her find her own man. Just kidding, she is working."

So we went to Cara's tiny apartment. We held each other for a long time before she broke the embrace to use the washroom. I looked over the apartment and the furnishings. Cara and Margaret certainly didn't have a lot and what they had was well worn. Cara was right, times had been tough.

The bathroom door opened and there stood Cara beautiful in her nudity. All the passion and all the longing that had been absent for so many years converged on me at that point. She looked perfect, she was perfect. Oh what I had thrown away!

I took her in my arms and held her. I had tears in my eyes. Tears of pain at what I had lost, tears of joy at what I had found again.

I undressed and we lay together on her bed.

"Sam, If you love me you will take me now. Everything is yours, all I am is yours. Love me, make love to me."

I kissed her as my hand refamiliarized themselves with the contours of her body. She was so warm, so willing and so open to me. She was excited and fully prepared for me to enter her. I wanted to have more foreplay. I wanted this to go all afternoon but Cara was insistent.

"NO foreplay, just claim your wife, your lover. We can play later, we have all afternoon. Just claim me, accept me back into your life. Reconsumate our marriage here and now!"

At that urging I entered her and she was spectacularly soft and tight and so warm inside. I started slowly of course but we built the speed and intensity. I could feel the vaginal walls tighten around my swollen cock. as she climaxed, it seemed to go on forever. I could feel my own climax building strong. I told her I was about to cum and she cried out "Cum inside you wife my husband, my only love!". At that I came in her vagina, unprotected, beautiful. We lay together in each other's arms. We spent the rest of that afternoon making love.

We had reconsumated our marriage, her term because I am not even sure that's a word. It seemed to take!

I reintroduced her at the company bbq as my former ex-wife which got a lot of laughs but we also got a lot of positive feedback People were impressed that we were able to work through our issues and love each other again.

Epilogue

Cara and I bought a modest house that we could make a home.

Margaret was thrilled that her friend Cara had reunited with Sam but it left her in the unenviable position of not being able to afford her apartment.

Since our new home had a finished basement we converted it into an apartment for Margaret. It was only fitting that we do something special for her because of her roll in encouraging Cara to consider reconciliation.

We all lived there quite happily.