All Comments on 'Do Not Pass Go Ch. 03'

why is he trying to play both theresa and lily?

is he trying to punish theresa for what happened that night when he turned her down only to find out his wife has been cheating on him? or is he just using her in her desperation and loneliness? is this what he has turned into by his nasty divorce?

Author- you have a lot of us interested but the timing of your stories is to slow to keep us looking for your work. The story is emotionally charged and we are hoping the husband gets a lucky break to get his kids and find a decent companion. Speed up the chapters, if you can.

He's married to a true bitch (your every day average woman) who doesn't have the balls to rip her heart out and feed it to the crows. He is a bigger wimp then any of the other authors of this genre on this site could possibly portray. You have also portrayed the perfect wimp and cuckold. Ronnie W.

I was excited to see that you had finally gotten around to the next installment of your story (four months) but that excitement soon deflated just like his cock.

Frankly I thought this entire chapter to be nothing more than dull.

I thought that you had potential with this story and that sooner or later he would stand up to his ex but just more of the same and throw in some sex with what appears to be a air headed woman and it left me cold.

Thank you for your efforts, however it sure would be nice to see him being a man here.

Charleybear

I think your writing style of humor and sarcasm is wonderful.

You build a story of real life problems and how to step around all the cow patties like they are landmines, to try and not lose your kids for good. Peter is going nuts trying to control his emotions in a really fucked up world that almost seams to have his picture pasted to the bull’s-eye. This is a man who’s insight of what he has to do to get his kids back and have a adult life is growing every day as he perseveres. I really like this story and the characters are so well developed. Even the sex scenes were more real to life then most portrayed here. There is no rich, powerful, Rambo with a nine-inch dick and all the answers in the universe. This is a guy fighting with what ever he has to learn and grab every minute of his life to get with his kids and start a new life.

I am one who loves relationship stories first but I do enjoy the sex scenes also. Human relationships are one of the most interesting subjects, and each is complicated and as individual as snowflakes.

All the realism you write makes these stories so enjoyable for me, and so much more a believable fantasy.

Since I’m not a writer, I don’t know how hard and time-consuming it is to put out a story of this high quality, but please try and give us the next chapter as soon as you can. Heck, it’s been almost 4 months since chapter 2, I had to go back and read most of chapter 2 to really remember enough to read chapter 3.

Thank you so much for the great entertainment, and I hope you take comfort in the quality of the art you have shared with us.

With the highest of regards

PT

i loved the story when i first read it; still do; but some mighty "deflation" has settled in, alas,,,

the best, fortunately or unfortunately, happened to be the first installment; the last two have been little more than side trips and then even not that good, although the story-telling style is still decent,,,

as Charleybear observed, as I read more about the guy, I came to like him less and less, sympathizing with him less and less,,,

the thing that most hooked me in the first chapter was about a deeply troubled, torn man and father, who had been kicked in the head and while he's down, he's kicked in the head and balls again by the wife,,, it WAS about a man who said resolutely said something to the effct of: THIS IS THE FIRST DAY I am on a mission, a personal mission, to get my kids. This woman is not fit to be a mother, in more than one ways,,

since then, HOWEVER, the story went from one long, irrelevant, shouting-call phone call to another.

and this 3rd installment --- after a few months in between --- focused on TWO other women he either had fucked or was dreaming of fucking, AMIDIST the fact the his kids were staging somekind of a stunt against the ex-wife, who, remember, was fucking around with men from her research job, who was hardly home to help raise the kids but who managed to get HIM castrated,,,

i mean, come on!, if you're going to PROMISE you'd have a character (you've created that) most readers love to sympathize with SAY THINGS about how important getting his kids is, as a mission, stop the FUCKING around BS with this blonde-blue-eyed woman and that blonde-blue-eyed woman BS!

stay focused! please, don't spend the next entire installment having him chasing after "Lily" in St Paul/Minneapolis, during her break, and then have him fly back to Theresa, fuck her silly, have a 2-hour supervised visitation with the kids, and then END it,,, that will reduce ONE of your faithful readers for sure!

it's starting to be such a DEFLATED story after such a high-potentialed salvo about a story about a man GREATLY WRONGED by a cheating, all-around-bad woman-mother,,, do some serious story-telling or end it; so far it has gone down hill rather precipitously,,, in terms of emotionally capturing the audience and leaving them wanting to find out what the man's planning to do to get his children away from such a mother and her own conniving/lying mother

I am becoming totally engrossed in this story.Before Jess gets any sympathy don't forget she caused the divorce,she was the one that fucked someone else.Why doesn't she get loverboy to help.I hope the kids drivehernuts. He is now single and can date anyone he wants to.

As others have mentioned, this story started out with a clearly identified good guy and a mean, self absorbed slut...typical of most American women. We anticipated that the story would take us through his efforts at gaining custody of his kids, and effecting some modest revenge against his ex-wife...his impersonator of a human being.

Not so! The following chapters have done nothing more than introduce other characters which seem to have little relevance to the story. A couple of shack jobs and that is about it, coupled with incessant phone calls from his

Ex which only reinforce what we already know about her. But the story seems to be going nowhere consistant with the original conflict. And it even appears that there might be some attempt being made to build sympathy for the human pretender of an ex-wife. Be warned...the hole that you have already dug for the ex-wife is too deep to allow any rehabilitation of her character. Also, the playing around with two women, with the possibility of pitting one against the other, is eroding sympathy for Peter.

I think that you are close to painting yourself into an inescapable corner, with the disappointing result that the ending will be far less than believable or satisfying.

Maybe you can pull it off...I hope so. Who knows?

Cheeers!

I'll admit I'd pretty much stopped actively looking for another chapter of this story, but I'm happy to see this and I'm not in agreement with the folks who think it's getting too complicated. Your writing is good; I'm going to assume you've got a plot worked out that will tie this together. I like the way you've given him a partner with a mirror image custody problem, and as for Lily, it's been my experience that life's like that--either too little or too much. It's never one problem or one opportunity at a time.

Please author stop writing this crap... You sir are 1st class MORON

as many have already said its long winded with irrelvqat crap theown in and scenes that dont mean anything

and a still unbelieveably stupid husband / father... who claims to want cutsody of his kids...

Yet when the oldest kids runs away DAD makes certain the folks from CPS know nothing about how Horrible the wife is.... the cheating lying life that set him and took jhis kids away of a conspiracy of lies ?

I LOVED this part... where the kids know better than the stupid wimp hubby

"But dad she's fucking with our lives. After she was fucking some other guy and acting like it was all your fault. And it's not like I haven't thought about running away. If I thought for a second we could be together, but she would just get some judge to make out like it's your fault."

"Forget about whose fault it is for now. Just get back here. No matter how much of a bitch... look even your Mom doesn't deserve this kind of thing."

"Yes, she does."

Too bad the hubby/ father does not this ...

OR how about this GEM from the dad...

...." Parenting was often the ability to lie convincingly to your children, but this was one whopper even I couldn't get out. ...."

are you seriously fucking kidding me? In order to teach Kids about morals ethics right and wrong parents need to LIE?

Then finally after 11 months the super wimp hubby says this

...."Don't just get mad, stupid. Think before you talk, damn it. "The chaos is better?" ....

Laughable... its so bad....

the story is getting choatic. its jumping from one place to another. i think the author needs to tackle one problem at a time. concentrate on the ex-wife and especially the kids first. then the current girlfriend, then the girlfriends problems. but keep writting. i would like to see how the many problems of the guy gets resolved.

Sure there's a lot of threads to the plot but life IS complicated, and I think you're juggling the various threads very well. Looking forward to part 4

finish this story in a timely manner. It really sucks to read something and have to wait months for a continuation.

Chapter 3 of this story isn't categorized as "Loving Wives" but "Erotic Couplings" so stop your whining.

In this instance, Harry's characterization of the husband as a "wimp" is wrong. He divorced his cheating wife and applied for custody of his children. And when the court denied his application, he didn't give up.

As peggytwitty pointed out, the author does an excellent job portraying the complexity of relationships. I hope Lightonthesound will continue with Chapter 4.

but where is part 4? Chapter 3 showed some pretty good interaction between the father and his kids as well as their attitude towards their mother. I was hoping for more developement of the story but am now willing simply for the story to continue.

This is a brilliant story. I have been anticipating part four for nearly a year now. I have just gone back and reread all three episodes and I still can't wait to see how you resolve some of the issues. Keep up the great work.

Please can I add my voice to the others CHAPTER 4 PLEASE.

I would haqve quoted more bit it is very disturbing to be left hanging. Isw there an end coming ???

PISS POOR WAY TO LEAVE YOUR READER'S! ........

You're getting better here, there was never any problem with your honesty and your writing. As i stated before it was the storyline you created that drove me mad. You are one of the best 'describers' of how kids and grownups interact that I've read and now when that idiotic 'trial' is gone where he lost his rights and we just have a continuum you are coming into your right as a storyteller. I sure hope this wasn't a true life tale. i know that in true life things gets more complicated than in those kind of books. and if so I can see why you lost your interest in finishing the story. still I hope you will finish it some day because it's worth it. cheers Yoron.

This part felt like an action log of a manic man, swirling in a constant mad rush of actions coming in all directions. You could have taken out some of the minutia and allowed more dialog in each scene for example, to settle down the pace a bit and give a little more depth to all of the characters. Still, compared with the 'neighborhood', this is a very impressive read. <P>

I have to wonder why you never finished the story with the last chapter. Barring nature disaster and such you should have finished the whole series and THEN submit one chapter at a time! As it is now it’s really unfair to the reader. You should be posting a warning to the readers making them aware to the fact that they are entering a long read of an unfinished story. Coming to think of it…

BE AWARE: as good as the story may be, per the day of the posting of this message it is missing it's last chapter, namely - it's an unfinished story.

There are just no sympathetic characters here. Twenty or thirty more chapters wouldn't save the story from where the author has taken it. It's best that the story is ended and forgotten. Both of these parents are losers!

I see you havn't written this in a while and might not ever look at this, but you have somthing here. I would like to know more about the Jess before she showed her true colors, and maybe you should interject her ex/postmarital relationships in to the story, it just seems that after everything happened between her and the kids, they never complained about the other man/men. All writers have to do rewrites, but this story is great at it's base, because the characters are believable. I would just like to know what Peters future was.

I don,t understand why he didn,t confront his wife the night he caught her getting out of the porsche,Get it out in the open,or at the very least brought it up at the divorce hearing,to me that left him being a wimp in my eyes,He would have stayed with the ex wife if she hadn,t divorced him,and not said a word about her cheating on him,And now all of a sudden in the last chapter he,s now trying to be made into some sort of super stud that any woman that talks to him once wants to go to bed with him, I have a real problem seeing this charecter like that, I feel if theres more story to come its going to have to head in a differant direction,I,m not sure what, there may be to much damage done to go on with the story and make it work,

As soon as you were done with the custody/courtroom scenes that didn't really fit the picture you made previously, the story improved a lot. I like how you describe the drama around the protagonist after he lost custody of his children.

It's just too bad that you've been inactive for almost three years now. Abandoned stories are my worst pet peeve ever, so you should be grateful I didn't let this influence my rating of 75/100.

Obviously written by a women who likes wimps. One of the longest "whorror" stories that I have suffered through, although the writing was good, the story was disgusting.

I have read the previous posts and have to believe that most of these people didn't read the stories. He did mention the wife's affair in court, the wife and mother in law perjured themselves and denied it. He wasn't going to continue with the wife after finding out about her affair, he decided to move half a continent away. This is a moving story about a guy who was slowly beaten down by life and a shrew wife but who manages to rebuild himself after a divorce. I wish this guy would finish the story though after 3 years I don't see that happening. I would really like to see the end of this story, guy wins custody, gets girl, leaves shrew wife in a pile of misery of her own making. lots of hanging threads so obviously the auther had some plan, just wish he had finished

Now you said a Chapter 4 was coming? When..this story needs to come to a Conclusion.

When you abandon a story the way that you have, why not just remove it entirely or warn the reader upfront instead of WASTEING MY TIME. This is definately the mark of an amature. anon jerry

Oh yeah, about this statement "The police won't take it as a Missing Persons' case until 24 hours have passed" That is NOT TRUE anywhere in the USA about a MINOR.

Do a chapter 4 and maybe a chapter 5. This is too interesting a story to just drop.

This is an interesting story, well written but it does need finishing!

Nothing is worse than an unfinnished story!

Good Lord, you really hate this man, don't you? There is just no end to the bullshit his ex-wife is willing to put him through and he is willing to swallow anything resembling pride or dignity and just take it. Good luck to his children having a healthy and loving relationship when they get older, because their mother is a complete bitch and the husband is pathetic and spineless -- some role models they are.

Please finish this story Just read 1 2 and 3 and we need chapter 4.

The wife cheats and is doing everything to make his life hell and you write like she is some type of hero, she is getting everything and he is some loser. He loves his kids and is getting fucked, to tell you the truth your writing is just like live...huh some bitch cheats and the law finds a way to make her the victim......

Please finish this story. I enjoyed reading it and am looking forward to the fourth and final chapter. Thank You

Pretty good story. Too bad chapter 4 has not appeared -- a 5 year delay is too long. My only quibble is to question the part about a researcher making more than someone in business. Theresa should make about half what Peter makes. It matters not how many hours she spends at the lab.

Half of this chapter is about Theresa who had nothing to do with the story.

I rated it 1*.

our old friend-Average Writer, Mr. JohnDoe! Well, well. You done well, me old troll. Didn't cotton on to you for ages. It's all the 'story this, story that' give you away. Hats off to you. So what shall we call you now, eh? Cunt.

You might have found John Doe And Aveage Writer now that you mention it!! He is such a loser. What is his new name WOMCOCK or something like that

then re-roll the dice. TK U MLJ LV NV

And then coming to a complete stop. Hopefully you will continue this...

I hate this story abandonment thing.

it has been six fucking years and it is never going to be finished. dont even other to begin to read the serise.

In case anyone else starts to read these 3 stories - there is NO END! DON"T START!

I gave it a 1 for no ending and after all this time, there will probably BE NO ENDING.

Not a bad story as far as it went. Writer correctly portrayed just about all of the women in the story, (even his daughters), as manipulative and selfish. Wife's destructive behaviour will ultimately come back like karma to screw her over... However, I would prefer to see the wimp grow a pair and seek a more active retribution. Maybe he would've in the final chapters... but I guess we'll never know. When you see a halfway decent story like this unfinished after so many years, you have to imagine that something unfortunate has happened to the writer. Hope that isn't the case here.

The author did not complete this story.

this is a shitty story about a shitty bitch which the wimps love(surprise), thank goodness someone got to the author and replaced her with a human being, and upon see the mess of this one sided tale of woe..STOPPED the madness.

1 star

No balls at all, no balls at all, I've married a man who has no balls at all. Dear mother , dear mother, what shall I do, I've married a man who has no balls at all. Cheers!

FTDS

there were too many mistakes and holes. Why didn't wifey (in chapter 1) recognize his car when she came home from her date? On a few occasions, the days of the week didn't match what was going on. When he first mentioned going to St. Paul, I thought he was joking. From where did that come? I'm glad the author finally mentioned Lily. Our protagonist had no business with this 23- or 24-year-old bar waitress, especially if he was burning up vacation days to see her. I was prepared to write a comment like, "Call Lily, stupid!" For those of you who complain that the story is not finished, I view the story as him becoming able to move on and he has done that. Yes, the author could have written more chapters, but the author concluded his mission.

I am enjoying your work. Please, can you give us part 4?

Thanks heaps, in advance.

We get to see this freaky tale continued. Interesting so far but I expect things will really pick up.

I read the first 3 parts of this story by LightontheSound after seeing that F.T.D.S had written a "continuation" to the Don't pass Go story. I hope that he can figure out a way to link up all of the loose ends in this story. At times it seemed to be going in a dozen different ways, characters introduced, but never really involved much into the story. The time spent on Theresa, but really much developing from it.

It seems as if the writer got to a point and didn't know how to proceed, so just left it to the reader to complete as their idea in the "Theater of the Mind".

Anyway, after reading the first three chapters; it's time to dive into F.T.D.S.'s "take" on a proper completion for this tale.

had this been finished, I don't feel it would have ended without the wife giving up the children and then having the rest of her world crash around her. Five stars.

The story starts well and moves through some great changes and evolution of Peter's relationships. Then it abruptly ends.

I think the story-teller gives Jessica more credit than the readers do. In manipulating the custody process she later comes off rather stupid and incompetent.

Wish you would finish this.

Thanks and please keep writing!

The major weakness is the wimpiness of our hero. The fact he did nothing in reaction to his wife's infidelity with Porsche guy is a mystery. Could this be a full autobiographical story?

The order of this story could be made clearer. What hell do we care about his exwife actions in a dirty divorce. Your took SOLong to say simple stuff then you end this making him a man whore but, you never ended anything about the children.

Did the children get to live with who they wanted, did the oldest girl turn into a drug out groupie whore. Did the two youngest try to kill their mother. What!?

Good thing this "man" stopped writing, I was this close to a self-inflicted labatomy.

It's a pity that the writer didn't finish because this had all the makings of a very good story. I hope he or she didn't stop because of the negative feedback from the intellectually challenged readership. Sadly, morons only aspire to the moronic.

The author may not have finished the story, but FTDS delivered what may be his best continuation of all:

https://www.literotica.com/s/do-not-pass-go-04-tracis-story

Atleast the divorce made him proactive. We all would like to think what we would do faced with his situation. Truthfully, his biggest error,based only on what I have read, was hiring a totally unprepared and incompetent attorney.

wish it was finished.

The story was good so far. Since It was writting in 2006 there is no hope to know how it'll finish.

Needed a chapter 4, where he got permanent custody of the kids and they all disowned their cunt of a mother. Leaving it unfinished was very disappointing.

I bet he has his own pink panties to go along with the pink jogging shorts

It was finished by FinishTheDamnStory, before he passed away. Look in the alphabetized section.

Waiting

This guy makes me want to puke

No

I realize that the name of the site is Literotica and that there has not been any new updates for this fic, other than FTDS's. That being said, I was more interested in the Peter's story. There could have been less sex scenes and more telling of how his post and some pre divorce life went. It is an interesting tale and I hope that some day, assuming all is well with the author and family, this story will be finished. Though I will look for FTDS's version. Still, let me acknowledge that the author has every right to write their story as they see fit.

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Thank-you for the good, though unfinished, read.

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Pasqual