Do You Believe?

I knew this couldn't be a coincidence. God was telling me something, something big.

That night I couldn't connect with Jessie. I asked her if everything was okay with her. She said, 'Yes baby, everything is great. I'm loving my new position and the store in the mall. I never knew how fulfilling it could be.'

We went to bed and I went through the motions, my mind not in to it.

Tuesday was a little off. We made love but I still wasn't connecting with Jessie.

Wednesday was inventory. That took my mind off of the situation a little. I got home at about midnight and went right to bed. Jessie was already asleep.

Thursday, my mind was not on my work. Luckily my Assistant Manager took up the slack. He was definitely ready for his own restaurant. I could see him getting promoted to his own restaurant real soon. At about 5:00 I told him I wasn't feeling well. He said, 'Go home, I'll cover for you.'

I left, but I didn't go home. I drove straight to the Mall of Georgia. I needed to talk to Jessie before she started her inventory. I needed to tell her of my fears. I needed to have her calm those fears.

When I was about 5 minutes away I called the store to see if she could grab dinner with me. Her Assistant Manager answered the phone. I asked her if I could talk to Belle. 'She just left.'

"Oh, did she go to grab something for dinner?" I asked.

"No, she left for the day."

"Doesn't she have to do inventory tonight?" I asked.

"No, we do inventory on Wednesdays."

My heart sank. Jessie had lied to me so she could stay out late on Thursday nights.

I pulled into the parking lot near the entrance located by The Gap. I saw her car. She hadn't left yet. I looked for her and then I saw her, she was walking arm in arm with a man. No, not a man, he looked like a teenager, maybe 18 or 19. He was black, about 6 inches taller than her. She looked up at him and laughed. Then she stopped and kissed him. Her white face made up with bright red lipstick was kissing this black teenager. The look on her face told me everything. She was with him every Thursday night, instead of being home with me.

I parked and watched them kiss again before they got in his car. It was a passionate, lustful kiss.

I left the parking lot and drove to our apartment. It was over. God had shown me through the fortunes and the magazines. My Jessie was cheating on me. She was being 'untrustworthy ... in bed.' I packed a suitcase, grabbed my toiletries, and left my ring on the bathroom vanity.

As I said before, I am a runner, and that's what I did. I took the limit of 300 dollars out of the ATM and drove. I spent the first night in Nashville. I had turned off my phone, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I turned it on in the morning and had 10 voicemails, I didn't listen to any of them, I did read the first text though, 'Kurt, where are you? Call me', I didn't.

I did however call my District Manager and told him a little about what was going on. Then I told him that I hated to leave without a notice but I would not be back. I recommended that my Assistant Manager be promoted, he was fully capable. I apologized again and then hung up.

I shut my phone back off and drove to Jefferson City, Missouri and stayed there that night.

I turned my phone back on the next morning, there were 15 more voicemails and 20 new text messages. I didn't read or listen to any of them. I called my Assistant Manager, apologized and wished him well. Then I drove here to Lincoln, Nebraska and have been here ever since. That was 6 years ago.

"Wow, what a bitch!" Karie said.

"I believe God told me, in an unusual way, that she was cheating on me. How else could you explain it. That is why I know that God is real."

"Wow, did you every talk to her?" Gary asked.

"No, but I did get a certified letter in the mail here at work about 2 months later. In the letter she told me she was pregnant and that I was going to be a father. I thought this was a lame attempt to get me back. She was on the pill, we had planned on her stopping taking the pill when we bought our first house."

"I sent here a certified letter back and told her that I didn't believe her. If, in fact, she was pregnant I would want DNA results once the baby was born to prove it was my baby. If it was, then I would pay child support, if not then I didn't want to see her ever again."

"The rest of her letter was full of apologies and professions of her love for me. I didn't want to hear any of it. If she loved me, she wouldn't have been cheating on me for months."

Jessica Belle

"Do you believe in God?" She asked me.

"Yes, I do. I know he's real." I said confidently.

The expression on her face was one of questioning surprise. "How do you know that?"

"Because of things that have happened to me that could only be explained by the existence of God." I told her. I looked at her and she still seemed skeptical.

"Deuteronomy 32:35," I said, "Vengeance is mine. I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; for the day of disaster is near, and their doom is coming quickly."

"What happened?" Sheila, my downstairs neighbor, asked.

"It's a long story, but if you want to hear it, I'll tell you."

"Sure" She said, just a hint of interest in her voice.

"I was married, to my high school sweetheart, the love of my life. Then I went and fucked it up, literally."

"My husband, Kurt, now my ex-husband unfortunately, was a loving man. I loved him. We met in high school. We were together since the ninth grade. In our Senior year he got a job at Outback Steakhouse and I got a job at The Gap. Kurt was, ... is a great guy and a hard worker. It wasn't long before he got promoted to Assistant Manager. A little while later I got promoted also.

"We were happy, we got married and started making plans for our future. When he was 23 years old he got promoted to Restaurant Manager. I was so happy for him. We started making plans to buy a house and start our family."

"You know, before we met Kurt never believed in God. He hardly knew anything about Him at all. I brought him to church, youth group, missions, ... everything. He found God and believed, I think he still does."

"We loved each other deeply. Our schedules were such that we spent every Saturday night going out drinking and dancing or partying with friends, I talked him into skipping church so we could spend the morning sleeping in and then making love. Also, we each had Tuesdays off, we spent all day sharing and showing our love for each other. We tried everything and anything in bed."

My mind wandered as I remembered the time we spent together, from our honeymoon to our regular every Tuesday lovemaking. We spent hours together in passion, showing our love to each other.

I loved the way I felt when Kurt touched me, loved me, cared for me. I enjoyed giving him pleasure as much as he enjoyed giving me pleasure. I enjoyed sucking his cock, to feel the stiffness and softness sliding between my lips and over my tongue. I also enjoyed what he did to me, his tongue was so expert on my clit. When we would 69 I would go crazy when he rimmed me and tickled my ass with his tongue as he fingerfucked me. On those times I would suck and bob my head on his cock and let him cum in my mouth as I writhed in ecstasy from the orgasms he would be giving me. It took me a while but I learned to swallow and I enjoyed it.

Oh, how I missed Kurt. How I missed our lovemaking and the feeling of security I felt when I was with him. "God, what had I done, why had I done it. I don't deserve Kurt. I hope he finds someone that could love him the way he deserved. He deserved a faithful wife, one that wasn't stupid enough to throw it all away for a stupid fling, a stupid taboo fling." I thought to myself.

I looked at my neighbor. She was waiting for me to continue.

"One day my Manager, Judy, came to me and told me to go into the office. I walked back, confused. When I walked in the District Manager was sitting at the desk. 'Belle' she said, 'You've been doing an excellent job here as Assistant Manager. I feel you are ready to manage your own store. How do you feel about that?'

"I'm excited, apprehensive, but excited. I think I can do a good job continuing what Judy has created here."

"Belle, you wouldn't be at this store. Rather, I need you at the store in the Mall of Georgia. Would you want to do that?"

"Yes, I would." I said, "I do feel I would need your guidance as I get used to the people and the store, but yes I would."

"I didn't know it at the time but that was the moment that would change my life forever." I told my neighbor.

"At the end of the day I went over to Outback Steakhouse and gave the news to Kurt. He was so happy for me. I was happy for us. Our dreams would come that much sooner, or at least that is what I thought at the time."

At the new store the routines were about the same. Paperwork, deposits, and inventory on Wednesday evenings. Even with inventory and being about 40 minutes away I was still home before Kurt. Other managers from the mall stores came and introduced themselves to me. I was enjoying the comradery. I was invited to go out for a drink after work one night. 'Thursday a bunch of us from the mall go to The Twisted Tavern, grab a drink, and get to know each other.'

I begged off that week but I really wanted to go. The next week I went for one drink and left after a half an hour. On the drive home I thought that I would really like to spend more time with these people on Thursdays. That is when I made a plan. I hate to admit it but I lied to Kurt. He wouldn't understand my wanting to go out with others instead of coming home to him on Thursday nights. I told Kurt that they were changing inventory night to Thursdays so I would be able to stay later on those nights.

The next Thursday I had one drink and talked and listened to all the gossip. There were employees as well as managers. There must have been about 30 of us. One of the guys kept looking at me. He was cute, ... tall, dark (I mean dark skinned), and handsome. He must have been about 19 or maybe 20. He came up to me and said, "Hey baby, do you wanna dance?"

"Maybe another time." I said. I don't know what I was thinking. I was married. He was black, that was taboo, at least for a Southern Belle from a small town in Georgia. It's not like I had never talked to black people, but I had never danced with one. My family was old fashioned, and yes probably a little prejudiced.

That night on the way home I thought about it. Was I a bigot? He had just asked for a dance. Next week, if he asked, I would say yes.

I got back to our apartment and felt guilty for lying to Kurt about having to work. I took him to bed and we screwed for an hour.

All week long I kept thinking about the black guy. I saw him working at American Eagle Outfitters.

On Tuesday I made love to Kurt. My mind wasn't fully on it though. I kept thinking about dancing with the tall, dark, and handsome guy on Thursday.

On Thursday I dressed up a bit and put on makeup. He noticed and asked me to dance. It was a fast song so I told him, "Sure." As the song ended a slow song came on and he pulled me to him to continue to dance. I was so nervous. I danced the dance then went back to the table and sat there the rest of the night.

I went home and screwed my husband, but I was thinking about Jerome.

Well, every Thursday we got closer and closer. Then one night, early in the evening, he said, "Let's get out of here." I don't know why or what I was thinking but I did. We started necking in the back of his car and he started feeling me up outside my clothes. When he put his hand down to my crotch I stopped him and told him I had to go.

I got out of his car and ran to my car. I hopped in and drove off. I couldn't go home yet though, Kurt would wonder why I was home early on inventory night. I drove around and thought about what I was doing. I had to stop going out on Thursday nights, but how would I explain that to Kurt. It had only been a couple months. He wouldn't believe they would change inventory night for only 2 months.

I finally went home at about the usual time. When Kurt started to get frisky I told him I wasn't feeling up to it and turned over to go to sleep. I had to fake sleep, it wouldn't come, my mind was racing a mile a minute. At 12:30 I got up, got a glass of milk and went back to bed. Finally sleep came.

All week long my mind was on what happened and what might happen in the future. On Thursday I promised myself that I wouldn't do anything with Jerome. I had to tell him again that I was married and nothing could happen.

When I went out to the bar I was expecting him to hit on me again. Just the opposite happened. He didn't even say hello. That pissed me off. What, I wouldn't put out for him so he was going to ignore me now? I made a conscious effort to dance with all the guys except him. That would serve him right.

That night I went home and fucked my husband. I wore him out and he loved it. I couldn't tell him why, that I was mad for being ignored.

The next Thursday I was dressed to the nines. I brought a little black dress and 4 inch heels to work and put them on when I left work. When he saw me his eyes almost popped out of his head. He didn't ignore me then. Again, we left early and when we got into the back seat of his car I was all over him. I let him feel me up and when he put his hand on my thigh just below the hem of my dress I grabbed his cock through his pants.

He said, "Don't tease me Bitch, you know what I want."

"I want it too, give it to me." I said breathlessly.

He pushed my dress up to my hips and pulled my panties off. He didn't waste any time and I was wet and ready for him. He fucked me hard. I looked down and saw his black cock hammering into my white flesh. The contrast was so erotic.

That night I went home with a smile on my face. I was the victor. He couldn't ignore me that night.

As I drove into the apartment complex it hit me what I had done. All the way home I was thinking of the triumph I had over Jerome. Now it hit me, it was the defeat of my marriage.

I jumped into the shower and cried. If Kurt came into the bathroom he wouldn't be able to tell I was crying, my tears were just a small portion of the water going down the drain.

I begged off sex with Kurt again, telling him I was too tired. I had to get ahold of myself. I couldn't let Kurt know what I had done, he would never forgive me.

Saturday night we partied hard and I took Kurt right on the floor as we entered the apartment. He hardly had time to close the door. After he came I pulled him into the bedroom and worked my magic on his cock with my mouth. I needed him to fuck me hard and for a long time. He didn't disappoint.

Sunday morning found me on top of him riding for all it was worth. He left for work with a huge smile on his face. I sat at home reliving the ecstasy of Thursday night and also the shame of the guilt fuck I had given my husband.

Thursday Jerome was expecting to go out again. I told him again I was married. 'That's alright with me Babe. I'm not looking for a commitment. You have to admit it was terrific last week. He can have you all week, I just want a couple hours on Thursday night.'

I knew it was wrong, dead wrong, but I did it again. For the next month we went out right from work. I gave Kurt my all the other days of the week, but Thursdays were for Jerome.

Then it happened. I came home on a Thursday night and the apartment felt different. Kurt was not there. I called his name, but no answered. I call his phone, no answer. I looked out into the parking lot and didn't see his car. I knocked on our neighbor's door and asked if they had seen Kurt.

"No, but we just got home about an hour ago." They said.

I called the restaurant. Mike, the Assistant Manager told me he left early, said he wasn't feeling good.

I tried his phone again, again no answer. If he hadn't felt good and went to the hospital he would have to have his phone off. I had to go see if he was there. I had to take a shower first though, I wanted to be fresh for him if he wasn't feeling good. I didn't want him smelling me all sweaty from my night of sin.

I ran into the bathroom pulling my clothes off as I did. I unzipped my pants and started bending over to pull them off. My face came about level with the vanity top. That's when I saw it, right where his shaving cream usually sat, his wedding ring.

My eyes got wide, then my heart dropped. I knew then my life was over.

I called Kurt again, again no answer. I left a message begging him to call me, I needed to explain. How could I explain, I was a lying cheating slut.

I called his parents house in a vain hope that he might be there. He wasn't on the best of terms with his parents. His childhood was full of them fighting all the time. He had just wanted to get out of there as soon as he was able. I was right, they hadn't seen or heard from him in months.

I kept trying his phone leaving message after message, no response.

Friday morning I called in sick to work. I was distraught, my stomach in knots. I threw up twice. I also called his work. The girl said he wasn't there, he had called in.

He didn't come home Friday night. I resigned myself to go to work Saturday and be home when he got home from work. I needed to talk to him.

Saturday he didn't come home either. I called everyone I knew asking if they had seen him or talked to him. Everyone said no. Then I called the police. They told me I had to wait at least 72 hours before I could file a missing persons report.

Sunday, I went by his work, they told me he had called in and quit. Mike said he was worried. It was not like Kurt to just quit like that. So, I went down to the police station and filed my report.

Weeks went by with no word. I was a basket case. I definitely wasn't going out on Thursday nights and didn't want to talk to Jerome.

I was sick all the time, I hardly ate. I couldn't keep anything down. My District Manager came in and told me I looked like hell. She told me I needed to go to the doctor because something was wrong with me. I knew what was wrong, I was a lying cheating slut and was depressed because I lost my husband, my love, my life, my future.

The doctor ran tests and came back with a surprise. I was pregnant. How could that be, I was on the Pill until we purchased a house, then we would start a family. She told me that the Pill wasn't 100%, I could have too low a dosage for my body as it went through the changes that occur in the twenties.

I thought about it. This could be my answer. Kurt would come back and forgive me if he knew he had a baby to raise. I had to find him and let him know. I had a guy at Social Services try to find the 'deadbeat' as he called him. He ran his Social Security Number, if he was getting paid, other than under the table, it would show up.

He was in Lincoln, Nebraska working at another Outback Steakhouse. I didn't have time available or the money to fly to Nebraska so I sent a certified letter to the restaurant. I had tried calling but they didn't allow personal phone calls, and Kurt didn't have a wife.

That hit me hard! He had disowned me.

A week later I got a letter in the mail from Kurt. He said he didn't believe me that I was pregnant. He knew I was on birth control. Anyways, even if I was, he didn't know if it was his, he'd wait to see what color it was when it came out and then, if it was white, we would do a DNA test.

That hurt me, bad. I knew that this baby was a product of our love not the result of my lust. It had to be, just the odds would say it was. Four or five times a week I made love to Kurt versus one time a week getting fucked by Jerome.

Well, my parents were only somewhat supportive. They knew why Kurt had left, I had to tell them. When the baby arrived it was a mulatto baby. I was heartbroken. God had continued his revenge on me. I didn't even bother calling or writing to Kurt to tell him. My parents all but disowned me. I could see the disappointment on their faces.