Doctor's Orders

"I know we've been following and monitoring your health for a couple of years now, and I've been trying to avoid this, but in order to keep you healthy it's going to be necessary for us to surgically remove your testicles and prostate." Said my doctor to me in a very direct way.

"I was just about ready for this news. I want to feel healthy again so I know your advice is necessary. What side effects can I expect?" I asked.

"Well, you'll no longer ejaculate semen; your penis will probably shrink by an inch or more; your body will no longer make sperm; and I would be surprised if you ever again had an erection. But we can give you testosterone supplements to make up for what you will lose not having any testicles." Answered the doctor.

"That sounds fairly radical; I have a couple of questions and then I want to ask you something."

"Sure, I'll answer any and all questions to the best of my knowledge." Said the doctor.

"Will I still have a pouch where my balls used to be?"

"Oh yes. We'll leave that there and we can even insert synthetic replacements if you want."

"What would be the effects on my body if I did not take the testosterone supplements?"

"Without testosterone production in your body, the natural estrogens you have will become dominant. You would probably see an increase in your breast size; your skin will become soft; it will be almost impossible to have any kind of beard; you could expect your already small penis to shrink further; your nipples and areolas could grow larger; you may see your hips grow wider as the fat in your body moves around; and lastly, you could experience a loss of sex drive." Said the doctor looking down.

There was a long pause in the room while I was thinking over what he had said before I got up enough courage to say what I said next.

"I've never shared this with anyone before, but what you are describing sounds to me like an opportunity to experience a long held fantasy of mine and that is to live my life sexually as a girl."

"What do you mean?" Asked the doctor.

"I have always loved to cross dress since I was very young. I have always had the feeling deep inside that I was a female and not a male. I would love the opportunity to have only a tiny penis between my legs and no hint at all of a ball sack or other bulge between my legs. If it is not harmful to me I'd like to forgo the testosterone supplements and let my natural estrogen take over my body."

"I see; I had no idea." Said the doctor.

"I feel I need you to know this before the surgery so I can have the best outcome. You see, I have only had one experience trying to have intercourse with a female and it did not go well. I was not able to ejaculate and I did not get very hard. I never again tried to have sex with a girl. I did however work at perfecting my look as a female and I became very good at it. Make-up, long hair, lingerie, dresses, finger nails and toe nails, everything. My feminine look is very natural and normal looking. Without a partner I rarely if ever ejaculated." I explained.

"That is probably the reason your prostate is so inflamed and needs to be removed. How many times have you ejaculated now that you are in your late 30's? Can you recall?" Asked the doctor.

"Yes, I can; I'll be 39 next month and I have ejaculated only eight times in 39 years. I had wet dreams, but only eight ejaculations." I replied.

"That's a pretty low number; it's had its effect on you for sure. What were the conditions when you did ejaculate?" Asked the doctor.

"When I had such an embarrassing experience trying to have sex with a girl, I turned my attention to being a girl myself and after I saw how natural I looked as a girl I focused on finding a male boyfriend. It wasn't difficult at all and I found a very handsome man who was really into a girl like me."

"Did you have a sexual experience with him?" Asked the doctor.

"That's what was so interesting. We were out on a date as a couple and we ended up back at his place. I was dressed to the nines with a beautiful set of pink lingerie on beneath my dress. It felt totally natural to me as we were tongue kissing and I could feel his penis becoming erect in his pants as we kissed. My little penis did nothing at all; in fact it shrank a little bit in my panties and was not at all hard. My date unzipped my dress and it fell to the floor and I was just in my complete set of lingerie; bra, panties, slip, garter belt, stockings. I unbuckled his pants and unzipped his fly and reached into his boxer shorts for his erection which was long and thin, but very hard. As he sat back on the bed; as if by instinct; I put my mouth down to his erection and at the exact moment my lips touched the helmet of his penis a strong stream of semen began to pour from my limp penis. I thought I was peeing in my panties, but quickly I felt the hot cream of my ejaculate start bunching up in my panties. I slid his erection further into my mouth and my ejaculation continued not as if it was shooting ropes of semen, but as if my body was releasing a massive load of built up semen. It was like I was peeing, but it was semen that just kept filling my panties. I was really turned on with the sensation." I said with relief as I had never told anyone about this before.

"During the time you're enjoying sex with a male partner, do you ever get an erection?" Asked the doctor.

"I never have. If anything my penis shrinks when I am with a man. It pulls back inside my body to where only the helmet of the penis is visible. I barely have a shaft to my penis on a regular basis." I answered.

"Well, if you would want it, since we will be in that area with the surgery, I can take away the shaft skin of your penis which after it heals will make it impossible for you to ever have an erection at all. I'm fairly sure you would need to sit down to pee however, if that is something you would want." Said the doctor.

"I would love that! I feel so dirty when there is even a tiny hint of a male sexual response between my legs. If you can fix it to where it would be impossible for me to respond sexually as a male forever I would be thrilled with that outcome. And sitting down to pee would be no problem for the rest of my life." I smiled.

"Now I'm not a plastic surgeon, so I will not be able to give you breast implants if you wanted them, but with any luck, your lack of testosterone when I remove your testicles will allow your breasts to slowly grow larger." Said the doctor.

"That's okay, you are going to give me way more than I ever thought possible, even though I need this done for my health, the outcome looks to be a real gift for me. What can I expect for recovery time?" I said to the doctor.

"Well right away you will have to have a catheter inserted for at least five days. Then when you come back to the office I'll remove that and you'll need to wear adult diapers for at least about six weeks. I would suggest you wear female adult diapers because when I remove most of the shaft of your penis I will sew it back in a way that your pee will spray down when you sit down on the toilet. Female diapers are made to have the most padding in that direction. You will no longer use the fly on any pants you wear as you will not be able to pee straight ahead." Said the doctor.

"Even after I'm healed?" I asked.

"Even after you're healed. You will pee like a girl for the rest of your life. It's what you want isn't it?" Asked the doctor.

"Well; when you say it like that my answer is yes. I've thought of myself as a girl since I was very little and now I have the opportunity to become one. It is a wonderful dream." I sighed.

"If you would like, I can refer you to a doctor who will prescribe estrogen for you and can speed up the time your body will feminize itself. You could probably grow a pair of natural B cup breasts in about two years if you did not have implants." Offered the doctor.

"I'm not sure I want to take any supplements, but I would like to reaffirm that when I sign off on this surgery, I will no longer ejaculate any semen."

"Correct."

"I will no longer have anything close to an erection."

"Correct."

"My body will not produce testosterone of any kind."

"Correct."

"You will effectively remove any trace I have of a scrotum between my legs."

"That's correct."

"And going forward it will be a necessity that I sit down to pee for the rest of my life."

"That's also correct."

"And by doing all this, my general health will not be affected and any concern I have for further disease will be removed."

"Well nothing is for certain, but yes, you should have nothing at all to worry about. And given your desire to experience life as a female, you will be well on your way to doing that physically."

"I can't wait to have this surgery doctor. It is going to allow me to be something I've always wanted to be; a girl." I said with a smile.