Doctors without Boundaries

It's a few days before Christmas as I wait in the arrival lounge at Manchester Airport, here in New Hampshire. I watched on as other families and loved ones greeted each other as they came into the lounge from their short flight from Boston. I'm waiting for my wife, Dr Emily Walker, to return home to me. Emily's been working in Puerto Rico for the last six months and I haven't seen her for about a month, since Thanksgiving.

My name is John Walker, my friends and work colleagues call me Johnnie, for obvious reasons. I'm the same age as my wife at twenty-seven, but where she's a Doctor, I became an Engineer, working in town here in Manchester. I'm 6'0 feet tall with dark brown hair and brown eyes. Emily and I were high school sweethearts, we were both each other's first love, and first lovers. We both then went to college together; however, I finished earlier as Emily was still studying to be a doctor. We got married shortly after I graduated, almost two years ago now and we've been renting a nice three-bedroom house in the northern part of Manchester for a few years as well.

Emily's first job after completing medical school was to work with an NGO (non-government organization), Doctors Without Boundaries. They provide six or twelve-month contracts for doctors to work in 'third world' or struggling countries where medical assistance is at a premium. Many young doctors like Emily take up the opportunity to gain experience, also working in humanitarian aid always looks really good on a resume.

Emily is halfway through her twelve-month contract, first leaving for Puerto Rico back last summer. It's hard having a long-distance relationship; we've been so close and done everything together since we were just sixteen. These periods in between her trips home are easily the longest I've gone without her in over ten years now. I've missed her so much.

As I looked past the other passengers, I could see the wavy blonde hair of an attractive woman, it's my Emily. She stands at 5'7 tall, with long wavy blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. Emily also sports a knockout body, she's lean and fit, which makes her large breasts stand out even more. I'm used to guys checking her out ever since her breasts first blossomed in high school, it's just something I've learned to deal with.

Her smile grew as she saw me waiting for her, approaching me with arms out to embrace and kiss me once more.

"Hi darling, it's so good to see you" Emily said as we embraced and then kissed on the lips.

"Hi to you too gorgeous, you're looking even better than a month ago, you've been working on that tan again, haven't you? You look amazing." I replied.

"Thanks, I try to catch some sun every day when I can. There's not much else to do there apart from working." Emily responded as we made our way to the luggage collection.

We spent the next hour or so catching up on everything Emily's missed out on over the last month, although I'm not that good at the gossiping side of things. She didn't have much to tell me about her job, just that it was business as usual from the last time she was home. While Emily was in the kitchen calling her mom, I helped by taking her suitcase upstairs to our bedroom, unzipping and opening it so she could begin to unpack when she was ready.

A piece of clothing on one side of the suitcase caught my eye after opening the lid. I pulled it out to look at it, it's a sheer red teddy, a very sexy little teddy indeed. I've never seen her wearing this before, maybe she bought it to surprise me as it looks like it's brand new, so I packed it back away where I'd found it and closed the top of the suitcase.

After we had dinner that night, I was looking forward to having sex with Emily once again, it's only been a month, but even that's way too long. I was half expecting her to come to bed in her sheer red teddy I'd seen earlier, but she came out of the bathroom in just a long t-shirt instead. Maybe she's saving it for a special occasion.

The sex was good, although nowhere near as good as what I'd imagined in my head thinking about it for the last four weeks. It was more like when you have sex every night, and this was just one of those nights. Not the passionate tryst of two lovers reconnecting after missing each other for a month. But she's probably tired after her three connecting flights to get home, and I've got five days with her now for us to enjoy ourselves.

We spent Christmas day at my parent's house, as Emily's parents had moved to Florida a few years ago. On day three of Emily's visit, I was still feeling that something was missing, that spark we usually have. I remembered back to Thanksgiving, and I'd have to say those two nights that Emily were home weren't the greatest either. I'd put that down to her being tired from the travelling as well, she also told me that she'd been working her ass off too, that she needed some well-earned rest while she was here.

But what about now? She doesn't seem tired or worn out now, yet the spark and enthusiasm is simply not there like it was before she left in the summer. Maybe I'm just imagining things, maybe I'm remembering how we used to make love as being better than it actually was. But I don't think so.

As her final day rolled around and then the night, I was still waiting for her to bring out the new sexy red teddy I'd seen in her suitcase, if there was a night for it, it's tonight. Emily flies out in the morning, so tonight is our last night together until she returns for a weekend at the end of February before spending a week here at Easter. I was disappointed when she again came into the bedroom wearing just a large T-shirt, one of my old ones. I was tempted to ask her about the red teddy but didn't, I was now more focused on giving her the good loving she deserves.

After taking Emily to the airport in the morning and saying our farewells, I watched as her plane lifted into the sky to take her away from me again. These are the days that suck the most, with the long countdown until she returns starting all over again. But that wasn't all that was eating at me, I'd never felt more disconnected from Emily than I've felt during these holidays. It's like we were just going through the motions, even though I've been doing everything I could to make her trip memorable. I didn't get the sense that Emily was trying anywhere near as hard as I've been, and now I'm finding it hard to shake that feeling.

Is it her job? Is it me? Has she found that with travelling and meeting new people, that she now wishes that she wasn't married? Is she getting tired with our marriage or am I just seeing things that aren't there? I shook my head as I made my way back to my truck, I had to get to work.

On my drive to work I couldn't help but dwell on my thoughts further. When Emily first left for Puerto Rico last summer, she would call me every day, sometimes twice. We would have sexy video calls every few days when she was alone in the apartment that she is staying in with another of her colleagues. But even those have been non-existent since about September, and her daily calls are now just weekly. I tried to call her more often, but every time they'd go straight to her messages, she told me later that she doesn't have her phone on while working. Doesn't explain why it does the same after work hours too.

Anyway, she'll call me when she lands back in Puerto Rico. Almost two months of phone calls now is all I have.

After I got home from work later that day, I realized that Emily still hadn't called me, she should've landed in Puerto Rico some time ago now. I tried calling but went straight to messages yet again. What the hell? She doesn't start back at work again until tomorrow. I got changed and hit the gym, we have our own setup in our garage to save money. The workout helps me to forget about the stresses of the day, to also forget about the niggling concerns I was now feeling with Emily.

After showering, I checked my phone, still no call from my wife. So, I started making dinner, finally relaxing in front of the TV to eat on my own as I've become accustomed to now. By the time I was ready for bed, I decided to call one last time, but again I was redirected through to her messaging service. What are you doing Emily? How could you forget to call your own husband once you've arrived back in another country?

The following morning at work Emily finally called me, saying that she was busy getting ready for work yesterday which is why she forgot to call. Still didn't explain why her phone was off most of the afternoon and evening, but I let it slide. We didn't talk for long, she told me that she was just taking a quick break and needed to get back to work.

From that morning on, I only got a call from Emily once a week, always on the weekend, always on a Saturday morning. Whenever I tried to call her other than that, it would always go through to her messages and she would use some random excuse, usually that she works late. Even our calls on Saturday mornings seemed more like a task for her, like she was checking in because she had to. If I had a niggling feeling over Christmas, it was growing into a real concern now.

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Emily's trip home at the end of February came and went, I was still left with that sense of something not being right between us, that Emily was just going through the motions once more when she was home.

By the time Easter rolled around, I tried to put any concerns behind me as we again greeted each other at the airport. But during those five days that my wife was home, it only served to further the concerns I had. She yet again seemed disconnected, almost distant a lot of the time. Our lovemaking was mundane at best if I'm being honest. While we were still best friends like we've always been, it's the romantic and physical side of our relationship that's been suffering the most.

On the last day of her trip home, I decided to speak with her about what's been on my mind.

"Emily, has something been bothering you? It's just that we don't seem to be as close as we used to be. I can't explain it very well, but something's not right."

"No, nothing's bothering me. I haven't noticed anything different between us either, I'm still very happy to be married to the man I love. Why do you think that's something's wrong?" Emily asked.

"Because we're not connecting like we used to. You seem almost distant when you're home, like you'd rather be somewhere else. We rarely talk now when you're back overseas, you never return my calls, your phone is always off even when you're not working. Should I go on?"

"John, I'm sorry but the work in Puerto Rico has been way harder than I ever imagined. The constant long hours, doing multiple shifts, and all the stress that goes with that. The little bit of time that I'm not working is spent sleeping or relaxing by the pool, trying to unwind as best I can. I'm sorry if I'm not calling you all the time, it makes me feel even more lonely when I do talk with you. Besides, what are we going to talk about? You always ask about my work, and I'm trying my best not to think about that."

"We don't have to talk about your work. I would love to be able to speak with my wife for more than just thirty minutes one day a week. That's all you've been giving me."

"Again, I'm sorry. I'll call more often in future, okay. I didn't realize you were that worried about it."

I nodded my head at Emily, maybe I've been reading too much into all this. I'm hopeful that when her contract ends in June and she's home for good that we'll be able to get back to normal. I was glad to have gotten my concerns off my chest, and she left me on good terms.

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Even though she'd promised to call more often, we were soon back to the once-a-week phone calls. Emily must even have set a reminder on her phone for Saturday 10am to call me, it was now always that time exactly whenever she called.

As June approached, I was glad that her contract was near its end, that we could have our life back again and hopefully be ourselves once more. I was tired of being alone, I've missed her more than I could have imagined.

Emily was due to fly home on the Sunday morning; however, I was still expecting her to call me as usual on Saturday morning, but it never came. By 11am I tried calling her instead, yet again it went straight to her messages. She can't be possibly working on the Saturday right before she flies home, she'd even told me that her work contract officially ends yesterday, so what's going on?

I tried calling her later on Saturday afternoon and once more in the evening, but I always ended the call when it went straight to messaging. I was starting to feel like I was the parent of a misbehaving child, overbearing and controlling. I had left the first message earlier today for her to call me, so why the hell has she got her phone off or not even checking her messages?

Emily's behavior when it comes to keeping in touch with me has gotten to the point that I can't see any other reason than that she doesn't want to speak with me, or she's busy doing something else where she doesn't want me interrupting her. Maybe with someone else, that's my real fear.

Early on Sunday morning I finally got a text from Emily, she once again apologized for not getting back to me sooner and then let me know her flight times. She would be arriving back home in Manchester at 3pm, so I had the rest of the morning to myself before I'd needed to head to the airport to pick her up.

I made sure the house was ready, then I went for a run before doing a workout in our makeshift gym. The whole time I was jogging and then working out, I couldn't get Emily out of my mind. My worry is that she's been having an affair while she's been in Puerto Rico. I couldn't see any other logical explanation for it, and being an engineer that is trained to solve problems by thinking logically, it's the only reason that made sense to me for how Emily's been acting for the best of the last year.

It would explain why she started to contact me less and less, also seeming far more emotionally distant when she was home. It might also explain why her phone has been turned off so often when she's not meant to be at work, if she was with someone else, she wouldn't want me calling her. If she's been having an affair, it would all then make sense.

But what do I say to her? Do I ask her straight out? What am I basing all this on, my gut feelings and a lack of phone calls? I've never been a petty person or one who likes to dive into gossip. Instead, I've always relied on facts, numbers, and reality. It's simply not me to start accusing her of something I have zero facts for, and what would it do to our marriage anyway if I did that? She'd know I don't trust her, and that would make things even worse if in fact she hadn't been sleeping with anyone else at all.

No, I'll do what I do best, I'll bury my feelings and emotions and just deal with what's in front of me. Emily will be home this afternoon and maybe this will all be behind us, with our lives getting back to normal.

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Emily's greeting on her return seemed genuinely warm, I was happy she was finally home. We quickly started to settle back into married life, although I still felt that we weren't yet back to the relationship we had before she left for Puerto Rico a year ago now. It just didn't feel the same. I mean, Emily is still good to talk with, she can be funny and sincere, warm and loving. All the things you would want from a best friend, but from your wife you need something more. You need the emotional and sexual connection that a loving couple requires, and right now that's still lacking between us.

My wife spent her first week back going to a few job interviews, the job she really wanted was at the main hospital in Manchester, Elliot Hospital. By the end of the week, she gave me the good news, that she'd been successful. Being at a good-sized hospital meant there was room for her to grow her career there, I was extremely happy for her. It also meant no more overseas contracts with her previous employer which is a big part of the reason I was happy for her.

By the end of August, I was feeling less worried about us, Emily has now been at her new job for almost three months and seems to be enjoying it. While I still feel that we're not quite the same as we were prior to her twelve months away, I've come to the conclusion that maybe this is just how marriages go. That the passion and lust wane naturally over time, and maybe that's what's happened for us. Although I'd say it's been mainly one-sided, with Emily being the one that seems to have lost some of the passion for me, and not vice versa.

The last few weeks has been especially telling, it's been almost like we are just two good friends sharing a house, not a young married couple in love and I have no idea why. No, that's not true, I do have my suspicions.

It's a Sunday morning in our home in early September, I've just made both of us breakfast and coffee. I've got a busy day planned, helping a friend out with his house renovations later this morning followed by a site visit for one of my jobs later this afternoon. I almost never do work stuff on weekends, but this was unavoidable.

"Morning John, you've made breakfast already. What would I do without you?" Emily stated as she kissed my cheek as she entered the kitchen and sat down to eat.

"Morning sweetheart, I've got a full day planned, I hope you don't get bored at home alone all day." I responded as I got stuck into the bacon I'd just cooked.

"Oh, I'm sure I can think of something to do. I might even go out for a while."

"Are you going to walk, or catch an Uber? I replied while drinking my coffee. We currently only have the one vehicle, my Ford truck which I need today.

"I'll figure it out. What time do you think you'll be home?" Emily asked me.

"Um, probably around six pm, maybe seven. Were you planning on cooking something for dinner tonight? If not, I can always grab something on my way home." I asked her as I finished off my bacon.

"You better grab something, just in case I do go out for a while. By the way, there's something I've been meaning to tell you." Emily replied.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" I fired back with a smile. That used to be a running joke between us previously, whenever she said that she had something to tell me.

"No, I can't believe you still use that line. What I wanted to tell you is that there's a big healthcare convention at the Boston Convention Center in two weeks' time. Doctors Without Boundaries have asked me to be there, to help talk with other prospective young doctors about the benefits of contracting overseas with them. You know, to sell the dream as it were."

"But you don't work for them anymore, why would they ask you?" I replied as I leaned back on the stool with my coffee.

"They always ask doctors who've completed contracts in other countries for them. It can't hurt, I might want to do contracts with them again sometime in the future, who knows."

"I thought that you were happy to be working at Elliot so that you didn't have to do that contract work anymore, especially overseas." I replied, I was more than a little worried that she might be wanting to travel away again.

"I am happy with my job John, look, this is just me doing them a favor, nothing more. It's a two-day conference over the weekend, the booths run on both Saturday and Sunday. I'll be taking the train there; they'll pay to put me up at a nice hotel overnight with all meals included as well. So, it won't cost me anything, either." Emily answered.