Dodge Charger

The sky was growing dark as the train rattled into town, the lights of familiar buildings blurring past my window, lining up along the track like old friends to greet me. After a year at college in the city they seemed smaller than I remembered. The whole town did. I stood and swayed as the train slowed, pulling my case from the shelf above my seat, and making my way to the doors. They hissed open and I stepped onto the platform, the cold air bracing after the snug carriage. Pulling my case behind me I trundled across the marble floor of the lobby and out onto the street.

Henry was waiting for me, waving from the hood of his old Toyota. Karen, he called her, because she was always complaining.

"S"up bro." He slipped from the hood and met me in a hug.

"Good, you?" I was glad to see him. Growing up my big brother and I had been inseparable, the core of a group of local kids that had been a tolerated nuisance around the town.

"Same as ever." Breaking the clinch he opened the rear door so I could pack my case before jumping into the passenger seat. The inside of the car hadn't changed, and I had to kick away empty soda cans and chip packets just to find a place to put my feet. Henry got in next to me.

"Glad to be back?" I thought about the question. It felt surreal to be here again, sat in Henry's shitty car, the smell of sweat and weed and cheap body spray that always pervaded it. On cue Henry pulled open the glove compartment and produced a joint. He put it in his mouth and cupped his hands around the flame of his lighter. Blue smoke snaked from the end, followed by a puff from his lips. He handed it to me and I took a hit before answering.

"Yes and no." That was the truth. "Looking forward to seeing everyone." I passed the joint back, already feeling a little light headed.

"It's a full house." It would be Mom's fiftieth that weekend, and a big party was planned. He punched his finger at the car stereo until Neil Young began to play. He passed the joint back "Hannah and Nick got here yesterday. "

Oh to live on sugar mountain....

I nearly choked, coughing up smoke until my face turned red.

"Hey, you OK bro?" He patted my back as the coughing fit subsided. "Out of practice?"

"Yeah." I managed. "Something like that." Truth was it was the mention of Nick, my aunt Hannah's second husband, that had provoked me to momentarily lose my shit. I was twelve when I had been a page at their wedding, and I'd had a crush on Nick ever since. I remembered how he had looked on his wedding day, tall and strong, dark and handsome. A cliché I know, but I guess these things become chichés for a reason. The worst part was that he was a really fucking nice guy with it. A volunteer fireman for Christ's sake. If the weed wasn't already making me feel dizzy, the thought of a week under the same roof as him surely would have.

"So where am I staying?" I had been hoping to have my old room. Seeing family is great and all, but I need a place to get away.

"You're in with me and Jim. Nick and Hamah have got your room." I sighed. Jim was our half brother, from Dad's first marriage. He'd been in high-school when Dad divorced his Mom and married ours and, while he'd lived with his Mom, he would spend a lot of time at our place to see Dad. He could be a bit of douchebag, especially after a few drinks, but he was family.

Henry started up the car, the engine coughing as bad as I just had, and we pulled out on onto the road. I looked out of the window, lost in the high and in my thoughs for a while, taking vague note of the sights we passed; a group of kids goofing outside the McDonald's, skaters on the steps of the abandoned hotel, the landscape of my teenage years.

"Penny for them?" Henry caught my eye in the rear view.

"It's worth more than that." I grinned and he did too.

"It's good to have you back, little bro." He reached and ruffled my hair. "Even if you do look like a hipster."

We pulled up the crowded driveway, finding a spot next to Mom's Minivan. I noticed the new flower beds along the front of the house, and was glad that Mom was finding things to occupy herself. Since Dad passed, and with me moving away, for a while she seemed a little lost.

The porch light was bright and welcoming as I lugged my case up the steps and opened the door. Stepping inside it was as if I had never been away. The smell of cooking wafted from the kitchen, and a burble of familiar voices came from the living room. Henry reached for my case.

"I'll take this up. Go so hi to everyone." He lifted the case with one arm, and I noted that he'd been working out since I'd last seen him.

"Thanks man." I said and Henry nodded before bounding up the stairs towards his room. I paused for a moment outside the living room, unsure at why I was suddenly nervous. Actually, I did know why, but was reluctant to admit it. I was nervous about seeing Nick. No matter how confident I felt in myself and with other people, something about him instantly turned me to jelly. I took a deep breath. That was the old me. I was not a school boy anymore. "You can do this." I whispered to myself, then opened the door.

Mom was the first to pounce. No doubt she had been looking out for my arrival. She bustled forwards, all bangles, knitwear and smiles.

"Gareth. Come here at once." She pulled me down into a hug, planting kisses on both my cheeks, leaving behind a dusting of makeup. She stood back to take in my appearance. "You look nice. Is there a girlfriend you haven't told me about?"

I blushed at this and heard a snigger from behind me as Henry entered the room.

"No, Mom. I'm too busy for that." A lie, of course, at least in part. I didn't have a boyfriend either, but I'd had a few experiences over the past year that had confirmed what I'd always known. I felt a heavy pat on my back.

"That's the way. There's plenty of time for women later." Jim pulled me into a bear hug. He smelt of whiskey and cigarettes. "Good to see you bro."

"You too." Jim was quickly shoved aside by Hannah, who had me bow so that she could kiss me on the forehead and tell me how cute I was. As I lifted my head I saw Nick stood behind her and my heart skipped. There he was, and he was smiling at me, his blue eyes reflecting the lamps that dotted the room. I was fifteen again, trying not to stare at him over the thanksgiving table. He stepped forward and reached to shake my hand before thinking twice and pulling me into a hug.

Time stopped. His arms went around me, his hands on my back sending a tingle up my spine. His chest was against mine and I could feel his hard muscles through the sweater he wore. He smelt of oaky cologne, sweat, and something else that was just at the edge of sense. Masculinity. Sex.

"Great to see you, Gareth." His voice was hot in my ear and his hand dropped lower on my back, grazing the top of my ass. It was so brief I thought I must have imagined it. The moment passed and he let me go as Henry pushed a beer into my hand.

Mom disappeared into the kitchen and the rest of us sat down to catch up as we waited for the food. A fire had been lit in the hearth and candles placed around the room giving it a warmth and intimacy I'd missed. It was nice to hear of all the doings of the town, the gossip and scandals, something aunt Hannah excelled in.

"So, how's college been treating you?" Nick asked as Hannah got up to help Mom with dinner, his deep voice holding me spellbound for a moment as I looked into his eyes.

"Er, good. It's been good." I knew I must have sounded like an idiot, I always did around him. I guess it's hard to act normal around someone that you have jerked off over as many times as I had. He smiled.

"I'm glad to hear it." He took a sip of beer and looked me over. "You sure look different. Hard to imagine you're the same goofy kid that used to follow me around."

I blushed. "Was I really that annoying?" Nick laughed and shook his head.

"No, not at all. It was cute." I thought back to the days I'd spent at aunt Hannah's place the next town over, back when Dad was ill and Mom was so distracted taking care him. It had been a welcomed respite from the stress of home and I remembered the hours I'd spent with Nick in the garage as he worked on the Charger that was his pride and joy, oil stains streaking his white t-shirt and old blue jeans.

"How is the old girl?" I asked, meaning the car. Nick's eyes lit up and he began to tell me, at length, about all of the work he had been doing. I watched him, not really taking in anything he said, just enjoying the way he looked as he talked about his passion.

"She's out front if you want to take a drive sometime." He lifted his half full beer. "Though maybe not tonight."

"Hey, can I drive it?" It was Henry, coming from the kitchen with fresh drinks. Nick frowned.

"I don't know about that." He said, taking a beer. "I've seen how you treat that old heap of yours."

"Hey." Henry's face was mock indignation. "Karen is a whore and deserves to be treated rough. But I can treat a lady like a lady."

"We'll see." Nick replied, though he looked unconvinced.

Mom and Hannah returned from the kitchen, announcing that dinner was ready, and so we made our way to the dining room where the table had been set with the good tableware and a host of white candles, the food heaped in dishes down the middle. We shuffled into our seats and I found myself sat next to Nick, with Hannah on his other side. I tried to focus on the food and on the conversation, but all I could think of was how warm his leg felt next to mine, and of how good he smelt.

"I know you're focused on your studies, but there must be some girls you like." He said, turning to me, and I felt the heat rise in my face.

"A few, I guess." He nodded and gave me a knowing look, a smile playing on his lips. He leant closer to me until his mouth was inches from my ear.

"Or maybe a few guys." It was only a whisper but it echoed in my head like a bullhorn. I was glad of the room's low light because I was sure my face had turned bright red. He leant back again, the smile now broader as he watched my reaction. Unable to answer I took a swig of beer and, finding it empty, I stood and went to the kitchen for another.

I leant against the fridge, my heart beating fast, a hundred thoughts racing through my mind. How had he known? Was it that obvious? He didn't seem upset. Kind of the opposite....No. I couldn't let myself think that he was interested in me that way. My thoughts were interrupted when the kitchen door opened and in walked Nick.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I upset you just now." He came and put a hand on my shoulder. "It doesn't bother me if you're into guys." I felt tears spring in my eyes and I cursed them. Nick pulled me into a hug, his hand on my hair, hushing me as I began to sob. I felt silly to be crying. I was out at college, and Henry had known for years, but with Nick it was different, because of how I felt about him.

"You're right." I told him, once I'd composed myself. "I was thinking about telling Mom and everyone this week, but it's hard, you know?" He released me from the hug.

"I know." He nodded and gave me a playful tap to the shoulder. "If you need someone to talk to you know where I am."

Relief followed the tears, as so often it does, and I smiled and thanked him, feeling genuinely fortunate to have him in my life. The moment was broken as the kitchen door opened again and Mom and Hannah came in carrying the dinner dishes, followed by Jim and Henry who had been conscripted into loading the dishwasher.

"Out, you two." Mom said to Nick and me as she ushered us towards the door. "I don't need you under my feet as I get dessert ready." As we left Nick caught my shoulder.

"I'm going out front for a smoke." He produced a joint from his jacket pocket and I recognised Henry's handiwork. "Wanna come?"

"Sure, why not." I said and we made our way down the hall and out onto the porch, taking a seat on Dad's old bench overlooking the front yard. Nick lit the joint, taking a few puffs before handing it to me, the end wet with his spit.

"So tell me." He said, reaching an arm across my shoulder. "Have you met any guys up there in the city?"

"Yeah, there have been a few." Perhaps it was the beer and weed, or the moment we had shared in the kitchen, but I felt at ease talking to him now, and I recalled to him some of my experiences.

"And it turned out to be one of your professors?" He laughed as I told him of my brief experience with dating apps.

"Yep." I giggled at the memory. "I should have asked him to send a face pic, but his dick was just so..."

"Hey, too much information." He passed the joint to me. "So, I guess you like older dudes."

"I guess so." He gave me a strange look then, as if something he kept hidden was, for a moment, exposed. He looked away and at his watch.

"We should go in." He stood, and I couldn't resist taking a long look up his body, the thick thighs and round ass that filled his pants, his belly firm but for a slight paunch that just made him hotter, his wide chest and broad shoulders and his face, dark featured and handsome, smiling down at me.

Dessert was a woozy blur. Henry and Jim had switched to whiskey and were goofing drunkenly across the table, entertaining us with their antics and in jokes. I laughed along with the others, but my mind was on Nick and the moments we had shared that night, and I thought mostly of that fleeting look that he had given me on the porch, that glimpse of a hunger he kept hidden. It was still on my mind as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth before bed, and later as I lay sleepless on my pull out cot, listening to Jim snore from the mattress on the floor.

I must have slept eventually because I woke up to the sound of Henry moving about the room, his lank hair wet from the shower and a towel around his waist. I sat up on the cot, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"It's all yours, bro." Henry said as he hunted through a drawer for some underwear. "Get in before all the hot water is gone."

I reached for my phone and checked the time.

"Since when do you get up at seven?" The Henry I knew had been a breakfast at lunchtime kind of guy.

"Old Ludman has had me opening up for him past six months." Ludman's was a pawn shop in town that Henry had worked at since high-school, and the one place that had thrived as the town hit hard times. "He's thinking of retiring and wants someone to run the place."

I was impressed. I loved my brother with all my heart, but I had always worried that he had no ambition. "That's great news." I told him and meant it.

"Sure is." He said, pulling on a t-shirt. "Hopefully then I can get my own place." I remembered how good it had felt to finally get away from home, and have the freedom to be yourself without judgement.

I peeled myself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I wiped the fog from the mirror and took a look at myself. Not too bad, all things considered. I turned on the shower and let the steam begin to fill the room as I pulled my boxers and tshit of, letting them drop to the floor. I stepped into the shower and the warm water was an instant balm. I looked about and found a bottle of shower gel called something like Energise and slathered it over my body and into my hair, working the suds into my pits. I took more in my hand rubbed it into my crotch, making my dick slippery and semi hard. I was about to give it a thorough cleaning when the bathroom door opened.

"Don't mind me. I'll be quick." It was Nick wearing nothing but a pair of snug looking boxers. I'd had glimpses of his body before, memories I cherished of his bare chest on a hot day, or that party by the pool at the Hannity place, but seeing him then, as I stood naked feet away, sent a new kind of thrill through me.

"No problem." I stammered as I turned to hide my growing erection. He walked up to the toilet and lifted the seat before hoisting the front of his shorts down. I couldn't help but look over. He was stood in profile and his soft dick flopped out, thick and heavy. He pulled back the foreskin and, with a sigh, let out a long steam of piss, hitting the water loud.

"Fuck, that feels good." He groaned. "Man I thought I was gonna burst."

"I know the feeling." I said, trying to act normal. "I drank way too much last night." He chuckled. Eventually his piss subsided to a trickle and, giving himself a final shake he pulled his shorts back up.

"Listen, I gotta run some errands for the party this morning. Wanna come with and help me out?" He washed and dried his hands. "Or maybe just come for the ride?"

I wasn't sure if he was flirting with me or fucking with me, or if he really was innocent of the effect he had. Of course I agreed.

"Yeah, that sounds good." I said, my boner now fully present. "When do you wanna go?"

"After breakfast. Say, an hour?" He stepped towards the door, his shorts clinging to his thick, muscled ass. He could have told me to go with him there and then, dripping and naked, and I would have.

"Okay, sounds good." My voice trembled. My dick was aching in my hand.

"Great. That should give you time to, er, finish off." And with that he left. Yep, I thought to myself, he is definitely fucking with me, and within a dozen strokes I came all over the shower wall.

After dressing in the room I left Jim still snoring and headed down to breakfast. I had stomach enough for some toast and a few rashers of bacon which, along with some coffee and OJ had me feeling much more buoyant and clear headed than when I'd woken up. As we ate we discussed our plans for the day.

"Gareth has agreed to help me run those errands." Nick said to Hannah between bites of toast.

"That reminds me." She reached for her purse and rummaged inside, pulling out a sheet of paper. "He's a list of things you can pick up." He looked at the list, raising his eyebrows and looking at me.

"Looks like we might have to make a day of it." I wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or terrified. "I hope you didn't have plans for this afternoon."

I hadn't, but even if I was due to meet the president I would have ghosted him for Nick.

After washing up we stepped out into the chill morning. Nick"s Charger was pulled up at the side of the house, its gleaming, burnt orange paintwork matching the sunrise.

"Beautiful, ain't she." His hand played across the hood and I was back in his garage, sat on the stool in the corner as I watched him work and listened to him talk about fighting the forest fires that ran through the county every few years. He opened the passenger door for me and I saw that he'd had it reupholstered as he'd always said he would.

"She looks amazing." I saw a glint of pride in his eye as I climbed into the seat and he closed the door behind me. The driver's door opened and he got in next to me, seeming to fill the space. The engine purred into life and he tuned the stereo to the local station. Dolly Parton sang a song about a girl called Jolene. We pulled out of the drive and were soon on the road, heading to the strip mall on the other side of town.

"Listen, Gareth." Nick said as we drove. "About last night." A foolish part of me had hoped he had forgotten. "I just wanted to say that I meant what I said. It wasn't the beer talking."

"Thanks." I said. "That means a lot." And it did. I knew it was a little fucked up, given my attraction to him, but I had also looked up to him as something of a father figure, especially after Dad got really ill. His support, his love, was important to me. He patted me on the knee.

"You're my little buddy, I gotta look after you." He gave my knee a final squeeze before returning his hand to the wheel, pulling into the parking lot.

Our conversation was more casual as we pushed the cart around the store, searching out the items on the list. I found I could relax around him again and we were soon joking and laughing together. We passed couples and I wondered vaguely if people might think Nick and I were together. The thought woke a dangerous impulse in me again and I had to remind myself that he was happily married to my aunt. Any signals I thought I'd seen from him were surely all in my mind.